The Best 84 African Jokes

Following is our collection of funny African jokes. There are some african ethiopian jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these african african roulette puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest African Jokes and Puns

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

**An African student:** What's food?

**A European student:** What's scarcity?

**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?

**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

The Drums Must Not Stop

A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.

The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"

The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."

The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.

That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"

The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."

The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.

That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"

The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."

"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"

The chief replied, "Bass solo."

African joke, The Drums Must Not Stop

The older man and his problems

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more sex and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.

His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?"

So a teacher asks his class the question...

"What's your opinion on donating food to foreign countries?" The African student says, "What's food?" The Indian student says, "What's donating?" The American student says, " What's foreign countries?" And the Chinese student says, "What's my opinion?"


If you're African you will get this: (WARNING: racist)

AIDS

World hunger is getting ridiculous

There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village

African joke, World hunger is getting ridiculous

A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...

They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.

The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Mexican guy disappears.

Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and POOF, the Black guy disappears.

Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the Blacks and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."

at the roulette table when.....

I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."

I shook his hand and said, "White, 28."

Four kids walk into an interview...

Four kids walk into an interview. One is American, one is British, one is African, and one is Chinese. The interviewer asks them all the same question: "In your own opinion, what do you think of the scarcity of food in other countries?" The British kid asks "What is scarcity?" The American kid asks "What are other countries?" The African kid asks "What is food?" And the Chinese kid asks "What is my own opinion?"

African Roulette

Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.

The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."

The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.

The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform oral sex on you."

The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.

As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."

You can explore african uganda reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean african malarious dad jokes. There are also african puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why don't Africans go on cruises?

They're not falling for that one again.

An International School Teacher

...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"

It's a fricken elephant!

A little boy, just about the age of 3, was playing with his toy elephant and his dad comes up to him and says "What do you have there son?"

The boy responds with, "It's a fricken elephant!"

The dad in shock asks him, "What was that?"

"Dad, it's a fricken elephant!!"

Then the mother comes over and asks the little boy what he said and he responds with the same answer, "It's a fricken elephant!!"

Then the grandfather comes over to the parents and says, "Well he sure does like that AFRICan Elephant I got him."

An African-American lady called Betty came into my restaurant.

She proceeded to look at the menu for about half an hour before asking "Is there any chicken on the menu?"

Exasperated I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

I'm not saying...

Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died.

African joke, I'm not saying...

If two impoverished African nations went into battle against each other...

... Would that be a third-world war?

What do you call an African disease that only affects the math geniuses?

Parabola!

^i'll ^shut ^up^now.

At a medical conference

Two African doctors were in an intense debate. The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmbbbbb". The second said "no, it's woooooooooooooooommmbbaaaa." A British doctor overhears them and decides to help: "I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.'"
They both turn to him and say "Clearly, you've never heard a hippopotamus fart underwater!"


I was watching TV last night...

When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.

The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"

What's the resemblance between a bungeejump and a african whorehouse?

If the rubber blows, you're dead

What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio?

A South African prison has an Oscar

A European missionary goes to an African tribe...

... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.

However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The missionary looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "

In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"

why was the 6 month old African baby crying?

It was having a mid life crisis

My friend showed me a black computer he wanted to buy...

I said "Dont you mean an African American computer?" and he replied "Stop being so PC"

An African lady named Betty came into my restaurant today and asked, "Is there any chicken on the menu?"

I replied, "No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

I failed my biology test today.

The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"

Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

I was speaking to an African child in her native language.

We just clicked.

An albino child in an African tribe...

This puts the tribe's chief in a fury and immediatly summons the white missionary that was sent by the Church in his village.

Chief: "Explain the white kid, white man!"

Priest: "Well, you see, a white child amongst your black tribe is... like the black lamb that was recently born in your herd of white sheep, they..."

Chief, interrupting: "If... if you keep quiet about the black lamb, I'll keep quiet about the child."

I met my wife in an African Languages class.

We just clicked.

An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart?

By their last names.

Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful?

The clients always click

what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees

Midlife crisis

Why are 8 year old African children always so depressed?

Mid-life crisis

I wish i had the immune system of an African baby

I've heard they only get sick once in their whole lives.

they say a camera adds 5 pounds.

that being the case, do african children even exist?

There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.

But how did they get this name?..

Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...

Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...

''Where the Fakawi?''

Can you name even one East African country?

Well, Kenya?

A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)

Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"

Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie!

They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.

If my African American father had an Asian name

It would be So Long

What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit?

The defendant.

Two rednecks are admiring their firearms.

One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.

That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.

Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

Why wouldn't the four month old African stop crying?

He was going through a midlife crisis

My dad says he donates to the African water charities

Because he's got a well paying job.

I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours.

We just clicked

Why did the three year old African boy buy a red convertible?

He was having a midlife crisis.

I'm so proud of my African pen pal.

He told me he hasn't had a drink in days. That's the spirit! Keep it up pal.

A English teacher says to a African student..

"okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"

My African-American friend hooked up with a girl from Thailand...

It was a real black-Thai affair.

How is a punchline like a starving African child?

If you spend too much time explaining why it's funny, it dies.

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.

The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".

African president asked, "What is food?".

Europe asked, "What is Short?".

USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".

North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".

Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a mid life crisis

So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.

The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."

I was watching tv last night...

and one of those ads came on with one of those little black African babies covered in flies. I immediately grabbed the phone and called the number on the screen. I had to have one, they work so much better than those sticky strips that hang from the ceiling.

Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans?

Because he loves to study black holes.

Why was the 3 year old African child crying?

He was going through a midlife crisis.

Which city is the South African Superman from?

Cape Town

Why was 1 year old African baby crying?

It was having a midlife crisis

What would happen if two African countries get in a war?

A 3rd World War.

I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.

Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.

What do you call a war between African countries

A third world war.

Why do African Americans always have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot

I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

I heard someone compare African countries to trashcans

I don't think that's a good comparison. My trashcan has food in it.

What do you call an African American with asthma?

The Black Panter

How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?

One of them is an elephant

TIL

There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.



But how did they get this name?..



Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...



Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...



''Where the Fakawi?''

What is the whitest African country?

Chad

Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same....

Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...

You think you can donate to an African country?

Well... Kenya?

Why can you never trust African cats?

Because they're all either lion or cheetahs.

What is the different between an Indian and an African elephant?

Only one of them is an elephant.

I once fell into an African river but refused to accept it

I was in denial

An African man visits his friend in the US

I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!

You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.

Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this damn country .

How do you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?

One's an elephant.

An international school teacher asks: What's your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?

An African student responds: What's food?

A Western European student: What's scarcity?

An Eastern European student: What's honest?

A Chinese student: What's opinion?

A Russian student: What's your?

An American student: What's other countries?

Why did the neurologist go to an African animal university?

He wanted to study the hippocampus.

So an African pastor is heading to his church Sunday morning

So as he's walking through the jungle he hears growling. He turns around and sees a lion. He starts running and running until he gives up and gets on his knees and starts praying: God please dont let this lion eat me.

The pastor stops praying because he couldn't hear the lion anymore. He turns around and sees the lion on his knees praying. The pastor says hey lion I didnt know you prayed and the lion says im saying Grace

I recently adopted an African child. He, was just 7 pounds!

Plus shipping, of course.

An Englishman, an African and an American decide they want to jump off of a building.

They climb up one. The Englishman looks down and says: "It's too high, I won't jump.", the African says: "Vool, vool, not jump.". The American jumps without thinking, nearly kills himself and yells: "My ass wool, concrete!"

(I tried to translate this from Czech as best as I could)

My friend tries hard to be politically correct

Talk about the pot calling the kettle African American

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the african ugandan jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working african european piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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