African Jokes

145 african jokes and hilarious african puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about african that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of African jokes. From funny animals to clever people, we've got a joke for everyone.

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Short African Jokes
African One Liners
African American Jokes
South African Jokes
African Countries Jokes
African Food Jokes
More African Jokes

Funniest African Short Jokes

Short african jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The african humour may include short african american jokes also.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa. Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One of them is an elephant
Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart? By their last names.
So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef. The butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."
If two impoverished African nations went into battle against each other... ... Would that be a third-world war?
Why did the three year old African boy buy a red convertible? He was having a midlife crisis.
I'm so proud of my African pen pal. He told me he hasn't had a drink in days. That's the spirit! Keep it up pal.
Did you hear about the bar for West African bookstore workers with anti government views? Liberian Libertarian Librarian Libations

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African One Liners

Which african one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with african? I can suggest the ones about african countries and african food.

I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours. We just clicked.
What would happen if two African countries get in a war? A 3rd World War.
What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One's an elephant.
Why did the African 3 year old cry? He was having a mid life crisis
why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
I met my wife in an African Languages class. We just clicked.
Why don't Africans go on cruises? They're not falling for that one again.
Why was 1 year old African baby crying? It was having a midlife crisis
How do you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One's an elephant.
What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets.
I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours. We just clicked
How do you offend an African-American and Chinese person? Make a joke about brack people.
Why does Stephen Hawking date African Americans? Because he loves to study black holes.
Why was the 3 year old African child crying? He was going through a midlife crisis.
they say a camera adds 5 pounds. that being the case, do african children even exist?

African American Jokes

Here is a list of funny african american jokes and even better african american puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I failed my biology test today. The question was: "What is commonly found in cells?"
Apparently, "African Americans" wasn't the correct answer.
Why do African Americans always have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot
Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.
The only way to know if a jokes is actually funny is to tell it to an African-American. Black laughs matter.
What do you call an African American with asthma? The Black Panter
What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit? The defendant.
If my African American father had an Asian name It would be So Long
My African-American friend hooked up with a girl from Thailand... It was a real black-Thai affair.
I was arrested for punching an elderly African-American lady at home depot. My wife told me to find a Black N' Decker.
My friend showed me a black computer he wanted to buy... I said "Dont you mean an African American computer?" and he replied "Stop being so PC"

South African Jokes

Here is a list of funny south african jokes and even better south african puns that will make you laugh with friends.

What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio? A South African prison has an Oscar
Which city is the South African Superman from? Cape Town
Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli.
What floats on water and goes quick? A South African duck
How many South Africans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question, you can't screw in a lightbulb. There's not enough room.
What's green and goes quick? A South African duck.
Why are native South African Tribesman immune to lightning? 'cause you can't Shaka Zulu.
Have you heard about the South African man who went to Greece and would only eat cheese? He got Feta and Feta and Feta.
Two South Africans were playing a game of golf Unfortunately, apartheid their game.
When a South African tells me they really love math I can't work out if they're a nerd or an addict

African joke, When a South African tells me they really love math

African Countries Jokes

Here is a list of funny african countries jokes and even better african countries puns that will make you laugh with friends.

I heard someone compare African countries to trashcans I don't think that's a good comparison. My trashcan has food in it.
What is the whitest African country? Chad
Can you name even one East African country? Well, kenya?
You think you can donate to an African country? Well... Kenya?
What do you call a war between African countries A third world war.
In Lomé, the capital of a small African country, there are no sit-down restaurants. All the food is Togo.
In which African country does Elon Musk prefer to vacation? Mad-at-gas-car
Which African country is Elon Musk from? Madatgascar
"Can you tell me the name of an African country ?" "- I don't know... Kenya ?"
You guys see that new Black Panther Trailer yet? It's set in the vibrant and prosperous African country of Wakanda. So right off the bat you know its fiction

African Food Jokes

Here is a list of funny african food jokes and even better african food puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Ever tried African food? Neither have they.
How do you start an African rave? Staple food to the ceiling.
Have you eaten African food before??? No? Neither have they.
I am throwing an African themed party tonight... ... there is no food and drinks are 12 miles away.
Where do African cannibals get their food from? Blackpeoplemeat.com
My friend asked me what kind of restaurant I was opening ... I said African. The food cost would be next to nothing.
Have you tried african food? -No.
-They haven't tried it either.
I went to the African exhibit at my local zoo. I knew it was fake when I saw all of the people walking around with food.
I told my girlfriend that I made traditional African food She was really surprised when I handed her an empty plate
Africans having food Jk they only have malaria and aids

Fun-Filled African Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about african you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean south african jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make african pranks.

An international school teacher asks a question: "What's your own opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"

**An African student:** What's food?
**A European student:** What's scarcity?
**An American student:** What are 'other countries'?
**A Chinese student:** What's 'my own opinion'?

The Drums Must Not Stop

A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."

The older man and his problems

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform s**.... He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.

Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more s**... and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?"

So a teacher asks his class the question...

"What's your opinion on donating food to foreign countries?" The African student says, "What's food?" The Indian student says, "What's donating?" The American student says, " What's foreign countries?" And the Chinese student says, "What's my opinion?"

If you're African you will get this: (WARNING: racist)

AIDS

World hunger is getting ridiculous

There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village

A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...

They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."

at the roulette table when.....

I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."
I shook his hand and said, "White, 28."

Four kids walk into an interview...

Four kids walk into an interview. One is American, one is British, one is African, and one is Chinese. The interviewer asks them all the same question: "In your own opinion, what do you think of the scarcity of food in other countries?" The British kid asks "What is scarcity?" The American kid asks "What are other countries?" The African kid asks "What is food?" And the Chinese kid asks "What is my own opinion?"

African Roulette

Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.
The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."
The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.
The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform o**... s**... on you."
The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.
As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."

An International School Teacher

...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"

It's a fricken elephant!

A little boy, just about the age of 3, was playing with his toy elephant and his dad comes up to him and says "What do you have there son?"
The boy responds with, "It's a fricken elephant!"
The dad in shock asks him, "What was that?"
"Dad, it's a fricken elephant!!"
Then the mother comes over and asks the little boy what he said and he responds with the same answer, "It's a fricken elephant!!"
Then the grandfather comes over to the parents and says, "Well he sure does like that AFRICan Elephant I got him."

An African-American lady called Betty came into my restaurant.

She proceeded to look at the menu for about half an hour before asking "Is there any chicken on the menu?"
Exasperated I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

I'm not saying...

Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died.

What do you call an African disease that only affects the math geniuses?

Parabola!
^i'll ^shut ^up^now.

At a medical conference

Two African doctors were in an intense debate. The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmbbbbb". The second said "no, it's woooooooooooooooommmbbaaaa." A British doctor overhears them and decides to help: "I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.'"
They both turn to him and say "Clearly, you've never heard a hippopotamus f**... underwater!"

I was watching TV last night...

When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".

Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"

What's the resemblance between a bungeejump and a african w**...?

If the rubber blows, you're dead

A European m**... goes to an African tribe...

... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"

An African lady named Betty came into my restaurant today and asked, "Is there any chicken on the menu?"

I replied, "No, Black Betty, it's ham or lamb."

An albino child in an African tribe...

This puts the tribe's chief in a fury and immediatly summons the white m**... that was sent by the Church in his village.
Chief: "Explain the white kid, white man!"
Priest: "Well, you see, a white child amongst your black tribe is... like the black lamb that was recently born in your herd of white sheep, they..."
Chief, interrupting: "If... if you keep quiet about the black lamb, I'll keep quiet about the child."

Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful?

The clients always click

what do you call a 9 year old african boy crying on his knees

Midlife crisis

Why are 8 year old African children always so depressed?

Mid-life crisis

I wish i had the immune system of an African baby

I've heard they only get sick once in their whole lives.

There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.

But how did they get this name?..
Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...
Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...
''Where the Fakawi?''

A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)

Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"

Two r**... are admiring their firearms.

One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...

Why wouldn't the four month old African stop crying?

He was going through a midlife crisis

My dad says he donates to the African water charities

Because he's got a well paying job.

A English teacher says to a African student..

"okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"

How is a punchline like a starving African child?

If you spend too much time explaining why it's funny, it dies.

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".

I was watching tv last night...

and one of those ads came on with one of those little black African babies covered in flies. I immediately grabbed the phone and called the number on the screen. I had to have one, they work so much better than those sticky strips that hang from the ceiling.

I can't believe Prince Harry, who's British royalty, is marrying African American actress Meghan Markle. Why would someone that rich and famous marry an obviously inferior genetic specimen? It's just unthinkable.

Though I suppose if Meghan wants to marry a ginger, it's none of my business.

TIL

There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.

But how did they get this name?..

Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...

Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...

''Where the Fakawi?''

Why can you never trust African cats?

Because they're all either lion or cheetahs.

What is the different between an Indian and an African elephant?

Only one of them is an elephant.

A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.

The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.

I once fell into an African river but refused to accept it

I was in denial

An African man visits his friend in the US

I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!
You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.
Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this d**... country .

An international school teacher asks: What's your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?

An African student responds: What's food?
A Western European student: What's scarcity?
An Eastern European student: What's honest?
A Chinese student: What's opinion?
A Russian student: What's your?
An American student: What's other countries?

Don't date African cats

A lot of them are cheetahs and the ones who say they aren't are lion.

a joke we tell in Ukraine

A russian, a Ukrainian and an African American guys are sitting in the waiting room while their wives give birth.
The nurse comes out with 3 babies and says "sorry guys, they've got mixed up..let's see whose is whose".
The Ukrainian takes a black kid and runs.
They yell "hold on dude!!! That kid is obviously not yours!"
the Ukrainian replied "I don't care I dont want a russian!!!"

I just won a free ticket to go on an African safari!

Kenya believe it?