African Jokes
139 african jokes and hilarious african puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about african that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of African jokes. From funny animals to clever people, we've got a joke for everyone.
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Funniest African Short Jokes
Short african jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The african humour may include short african american jokes also.
- How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant? One of them is an elephant
- Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
- An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart? By their last names.
- If two impoverished African nations went into battle against each other... ... Would that be a third-world war?
- Why did the three year old African boy buy a red convertible? He was having a midlife crisis.
- I'm so proud of my African pen pal. He told me he hasn't had a drink in days. That's the spirit! Keep it up pal.
- Did you hear about the bar for West African bookstore workers with anti government views? Liberian Libertarian Librarian Libations
- What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio? A South African prison has an Oscar
- Why do African Americans always have nightmares? Because the last one to have a dream got shot
- How is a punchline like a starving African child? If you spend too much time explaining why it's funny, it dies.
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African One Liners
Which african one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with african? I can suggest the ones about african countries and african food.
- I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours. We just clicked.
- What would happen if two African countries get in a war? A 3rd World War.
- why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
- I met my wife in an African Languages class. We just clicked.
- Why was 1 year old African baby crying? It was having a midlife crisis
- What do you call five African-Americans born together? Triplets.
- How do you make Africans rave?
- What is the whitest African country? Chad
- Which city is the South African Superman from? Cape Town
- I once fell into an African river but refused to accept it I was in denial
- Can you name even one East African country? Well, kenya?
- You think you can donate to an African country? Well... Kenya?
- What do you call a war between African countries A third world war.
- What do you call an african american in a 3 piece suit? The defendant.
- Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful? The clients always click
African American Jokes
Here is a list of funny african american jokes and even better african american puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Kudos to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! They really went out of their way to make their adoptive African children feel like a part of an authentic American family by getting a divorce.
- My African-American friend hooked up with a girl from Thailand... It was a real black-Thai affair.
- I was arrested for punching an elderly African-American lady at home depot. My wife told me to find a Black N' Decker.
- My friend showed me a black computer he wanted to buy... I said "Dont you mean an African American computer?" and he replied "Stop being so PC"
- Donald Trump has a new slogan that he hopes will help his numbers with African American voters. "Orange Is The New Black."
- For the last time, I'm not racist! I specifically called it African American Friday!
- Due to the negative connotation of the phrase "colored people" the NAACP is thinking about changing their name to reflect more modern terms like "African Americans" But then they said NAAAA.
- What's a Black Adder? An African American Accountant.
- Why was I arrested for only 1 year with a $5,000 fine after killing an unarmed African-American man? On charges of "impersonating a police officer".
- Why could nobody win a dance off at the annual African American ball? Because it was a black tie event
South African Jokes
Here is a list of funny south african jokes and even better south african puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where do South Africans buy their pastrami and salami? At the Nelson Mandeli.
- What floats on water and goes quick? A South African duck
- What's green and goes quick? A South African duck.
- Have you heard about the South African man who went to Greece and would only eat cheese? He got Feta and Feta and Feta.
- When a South African tells me they really love math I can't work out if they're a nerd or an addict
- A South African miner loses a leg in an accident. He cries 'Oh no! Who's going to want a one legged gold digger now?'
To which Paul McCartney shouts 'Me!!!!' - where do South Africans learn slang? Durban Dictionary
- Ever hear about the South African SWAT team? They operate in areas with malaria outbreaks.
- I've never dated a South African girl who I've disliked. Every time I meet one, we click almost immediately.
- What do you call a Hindu South African? Nelson Mandala.
African Countries Jokes
Here is a list of funny african countries jokes and even better african countries puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I heard someone compare African countries to trashcans I don't think that's a good comparison. My trashcan has food in it.
- In Lomé, the capital of a small African country, there are no sit-down restaurants. All the food is Togo.
- In which African country does Elon Musk prefer to vacation? Mad-at-gas-car
- "Can you tell me the name of an African country ?" "- I don't know... Kenya ?"
- You guys see that new Black Panther Trailer yet? It's set in the vibrant and prosperous African country of Wakanda. So right off the bat you know its fiction
- If an African country developes a nuke will it be called the N-Bomb.
- What does an African-American Soldier tells her wife when he suddenly gets called to serve his country? Call Of Duty : Black OUT!
- What did the rapping army general say when he declared war on an African country? Swiggity Swooty, I'm coming for Djibouti
- On retaliation of removing Confederate monuments, some authorities around the country are beginning to remove African American monuments Just this morning, Atlanta removed the Georgia Dome!
- What African country is the best place to start a Chinese restaurant? Togo
African Food Jokes
Here is a list of funny african food jokes and even better african food puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I am throwing an African themed party tonight... ... there is no food and drinks are 12 miles away.
- My friend asked me what kind of restaurant I was opening ... I said African. The food cost would be next to nothing.
- I went to the African exhibit at my local zoo. I knew it was fake when I saw all of the people walking around with food.
- I told my girlfriend that I made traditional African food She was really surprised when I handed her an empty plate
- What do Africans do to buy food ? Take loans.
Fun-Filled African Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about african you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean south african jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make african pranks.
The Drums Must Not Stop
A man was exploring the African jungle and came upon a tribe of natives, their presence underscored by the distinctive and monotonous beating of drums. The man spoke with the tribe and they allowed him to stay with them and sleep on their grounds.
The first night, the man didn't sleep a wink due to the ongoing drumming so he spoke to the chief. "Chief, I got no sleep last night. Could you maybe stop the drumming for a night so I could rest?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man figured it was their culture and focused on enjoying the day, studying and spending time with the tribe.
That night, the drums again kept the man awake for the whole night and in the morning he spoke with the chief.
"Chief, please! I need some sleep; couldn't the drums cease for just one night for my health?"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
The man, exacerbated, let the issue drop and tried to focus on the day at hand, but could not focus due to lack of sleep and the incessant pounding of the drums.
That night, the beating of the drums left the man sleepless yet again in the morning he angrily approached the chief.
"Chief, I've just about had it. The drums must stop; it is impossible to get any rest with them!"
The chief replied, "The drums must not stop."
"Why! Why can the drums not stop? What happens when the drums stop?!"
The chief replied, "Bass solo."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The older man and his problems
A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform s**.... He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. Finally, as a last hope, the doctor refers him to an African medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder into a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke.
Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say '123,' and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"
The man then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"
The medicine man replies: "When your partner can take no more s**... and is completely raddled, all she has to say is '1234', and it will then go down. But be warned: The pork swordsman will not rise again for another year."
The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers. That night he showers, shaves, and smothers himself in aftershave. He slides into bed,cuddles up to his wife, says "123" and suddenly he has the most gigantic stiffie ever, just as the medicine man promised.
His wife turns over and asks: "What did you say '123' for?"
World hunger is getting ridiculous
There's more fruit in my shampoo than an African village
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
at the roulette table when.....
I was just about to place my chips on the roulette table at the casino when the African man standing next to me gave me a nudge and said, "Black, 33."
I shook his hand and said, "White, 28."
They walk in the bar
A bartender is working at an upscale bar downtown when all of the sudden, an Englishman, a Dane, a Frenchman, a German, a Russian, an American, a Canadian, a Mexican, a Peruvian, a Brazilian, a Colombian, a Chinese, a Japanese, a Korean, 29 different Africans from all different African countries, and an Indian all walk in to the bar.
And the bartender says to them, sorry gentlemen, but you can't come here without a Thai.
^thanks ^SnW
Four kids walk into an interview...
Four kids walk into an interview. One is American, one is British, one is African, and one is Chinese. The interviewer asks them all the same question: "In your own opinion, what do you think of the scarcity of food in other countries?" The British kid asks "What is scarcity?" The American kid asks "What are other countries?" The African kid asks "What is food?" And the Chinese kid asks "What is my own opinion?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
African Roulette
Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.
The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."
The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.
The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform o**... s**... on you."
The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.
As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."
An International School Teacher
...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"
It's a fricken elephant!
A little boy, just about the age of 3, was playing with his toy elephant and his dad comes up to him and says "What do you have there son?"
The boy responds with, "It's a fricken elephant!"
The dad in shock asks him, "What was that?"
"Dad, it's a fricken elephant!!"
Then the mother comes over and asks the little boy what he said and he responds with the same answer, "It's a fricken elephant!!"
Then the grandfather comes over to the parents and says, "Well he sure does like that AFRICan Elephant I got him."
An African-American lady called Betty came into my restaurant.
She proceeded to look at the menu for about half an hour before asking "Is there any chicken on the menu?"
Exasperated I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm not saying...
Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an African disease that only affects the math geniuses?
Parabola!
^i'll ^shut ^up^now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At a medical conference
Two African doctors were in an intense debate. The first said "It's wooooooooooooooommmbbbbb". The second said "no, it's woooooooooooooooommmbbaaaa." A British doctor overhears them and decides to help: "I think the word you are looking for is 'womb.'"
They both turn to him and say "Clearly, you've never heard a hippopotamus f**... underwater!"
I was watching TV last night...
When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".
A New York Times reporter is interviewing some people
The first question asked is "What is your honest opinion about the shortage of meat in the world?"
The interview was a huge failure...
The African asks "What does meat mean?".
The American asks "What does shortage mean?".
The Chinese person asks "What does opinion mean?".
The Russian asks "What does honest mean?"
The North Korean just waits. The reporter asks again, and is told "The Interview is no good!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Attention!! A dark joke ahead
A Chinese man married an African woman and had a child. Two months later the child passed away.
At the f**... house, the African woman kept sobbing and saying: "I KNEW IT !!! I KNEW IT !!!"
A family member pulled her aside and asked:
"What did you know?" She replied: "That, Chinese products don't last long!!
African tribe
There is a tribe in Africa called the faqawi tribe. Their average height is 3 ft tall and the grass where they live is 5 ft tall. They get their name from the sound they make as they jump up and down " Were the faqawi ? were the faqawi ?"
What type of car does an African drive?
A Sudan
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the resemblance between a bungeejump and a african w**...?
If the rubber blows, you're dead
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A European m**... goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
A mother took her son to the zoo on a beautiful Saturday morning.
Her son points and says, "Look mom, a fricken' elephant!"
Not certain about what she heard and a little upset she ask, "What did you say!?"
"A fricken' elephant!"
Really upset now, she asks "Who taught you how to talk like that!?"
He pointed and said "It says it right there on that sign!"
A.F.R.I.C.A.N Elephant
What material do african blacksmiths use the most?
Steel.
A South African actor walks into his managers office (original joke)
Looking for a job. His manager thinks about it and says "we only have one role available at the moment, it's a short film about segregation"
The actor replies "great, that sounds like a-part-heid take"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
My dad says he donates to the African water charities
Because he's got a well paying job.
What do the African nations Zimbabwe, Tanzania, Mozambique, Zambia, and Swaziland have in common?
A lot of da Z's.
A English teacher says to a African student..
"okay you're doing really good with your English, I would like you to use the word dandelion in a sentence" the student replies "ohh that is easy, The giraffe, is bigger, dan de lion"
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do african kids get off school earlier than american kids?
they dont need a lunch break
I asked an African man to use the word dandelion in a sentence
His response was "da cheeta runs fasta dan de lion"
Poor children in African nations are really excited...
They're finally getting New England Patriot super bowl championship shirts!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm so happy that my financial situation has finally improved.
I just found out the African boy I've been sponsoring has been eaten by a lion.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You'd think Henry Ford was African
The way he Madagascar
^^^^I'll ^^^^^let ^^^^^^myself ^^^^^^^out
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an African American with asthma?
The Black Panter
TIL
There's a central african tribe of pygmy called the ''Fakawi'.
But how did they get this name?..
Their habitat in the jungle is covered with wild grass which is 4 feet high but the pygmies are only 3 feet tall...
Every so often they could be seen jumping up shouting...
''Where the Fakawi?''
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Africans are immune to cholera
I mean first off cholera lives in water
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Africans have the best drinking games...
...like „the last one to find water dies .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same....
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the different between an Indian and an African elephant?
Only one of them is an elephant.
A Canadian, a Swiss, a German, a Mexican, a American, a Korean, a Austrian, a Brazilian, a Estonian, a Filipino, a British, a Egyptian, a Icelander, a Jamaican, a South African, a Puerto Rican, a Chinese, a Latvian, a Moroccan, a Taiwanese, a Spaniard, and a romanian walk into a fancy restaurant.
The waiter stops them and says Sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An African man visits his friend in the US
I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!
You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.
Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this d**... country .
An international school teacher asks: What's your own honest opinion on food scarcity in other countries?
An African student responds: What's food?
A Western European student: What's scarcity?
An Eastern European student: What's honest?
A Chinese student: What's opinion?
A Russian student: What's your?
An American student: What's other countries?
So an African pastor is heading to his church Sunday morning
So as he's walking through the jungle he hears growling. He turns around and sees a lion. He starts running and running until he gives up and gets on his knees and starts praying: God please dont let this lion eat me.
The pastor stops praying because he couldn't hear the lion anymore. He turns around and sees the lion on his knees praying. The pastor says hey lion I didnt know you prayed and the lion says im saying Grace
Just after WWII begins the commander of one of African garrisons recieves a telegram:
''The war is declared, immidiately find and arrest all enemies in your area.''
After some time he sends a performance report:
''The order was executed. 4 Germans, 2 French, 1 Belgian, 3 Americans were arrested. Please, immidiately report who are we at war with.''
Why did the African band win the battle of the bands?
They were moroccan
I just won a free ticket to go on an African safari!
Kenya believe it?
I'm sorry," said the clerk in flower shop, "we don't have potted geraniums……
Could you use African violets instead?"
Replied the customer sadly, "No, it was geraniums my wife told me to water while she was gone."
