Following is our collection of Africa funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.
But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
It was having a mid-life crisis.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
He was having a mid life crisis
Too many cheetahs.
Because it's a continent, dumbass.
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
Because Africa isn't a country.
Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.
"Rhino!"
"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."
By their last names.
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."
A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"
"Africa," replied the parrot.
Outtagascar
HIV.
Because it can't be taken on empty stomach
Dad replied, "That is true in every country, son."
It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.
They're not falling for that one again.
The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"
"Africa", says the parrot.
They are the slowest workers I've ever seen.
I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?
...turns out they have enough aids.
The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"
The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
"Africa!", says the parrot.
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
I told my mom I wasn't hungry.
She said:
the children in Africa would be happy with sprouts!
I replied:
and the moms in Africa would be happy with a child that's not hungry!
The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"
"Africa" said the parrot
"Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."
when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?
The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."
South AF
The bar tender goes "Awesome, Where'd you get that?"
The parrot replies "Africa, there's thousands of them there."
Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.
Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.
The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"
And when I leave the oven on, I feel bad for the jews.
The bartender says, "wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?" The parrot responded, saying, "there are millions of them running around in Africa."
In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."
Obesity
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate
Princess Diana couldn't stop either.
The bartender asks him, "Where did you get that thing?"
Parrot says, "Africa."
with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said;
- That's cool! Where did you get that?
- In Africa, replied the parrot.
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
Because the last one to have a dream got shot
So I sent them a "Get Well Soon" card.
A little boy says, 'Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' 'Son,' says the dad. 'That happens everywhere.'
which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap.
Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out.
(stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)
They are trying to find out what period it came from
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.