Africa Jokes
148 africa jokes and hilarious africa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about africa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Africa jokes. From Safari jokes to crocodile jokes, we've got all the best Africa humor.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Africa Short Jokes
Short africa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The africa humour may include short africa water jokes also.
- In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types. But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
- I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rain down in Africa. - my wife left me because i'm obssesed with africa kenya believe it?
and we have two kids together, this divorce is ghana be so hard on them - Tesla founder elon musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange You'd think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
- Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.
- A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them" - So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder... The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
"Africa!", says the parrot. - Why is it that there's no pharmacies in Africa? Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.
- A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.. The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!" - Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."
Share These Africa Jokes With Friends
Africa One Liners
Which africa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with africa? I can suggest the ones about south africa and continent.
- Why was the baby in Africa crying? It was having a mid-life crisis.
- Why are there no casino in Africa? Too many cheetahs.
- Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Africa isn't a country.
- What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa? Outtagascar
- What is the most difficult animal to hunt in Africa? The Polar bear.
- Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa? Because it can't be taken on empty stomach
- How south is South Africa? South AF
- Which disease is least prevalent in Africa? Obesity
- Where were thr first gas cars invented? In Africa, they Madagascar.
- My financial situation is so bad... ...I'm being sponsored by a child in Africa.
- Is Africa by Toto country music? No it's continent music.
- Drinking water in africa hashtag nofilter
- What do they call the hunger games in Africa? Games
- What's the fastest thing in Africa? Ethiopian with a dinner ticket.
- How do you get 11 million followers? Walk with a bottle of water in Africa.
Africa Water Jokes
Here is a list of funny africa water jokes and even better africa water puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village. So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
- Did you know the w in Africa stands for water? There is no w in Africa.
- What does the W in Africa stand for? Water
- What Game on the App Store is not available in Africa? Where's my Water.
- Darkhumour How can u get 11 million followers?
U run trough Africa with a glass of water. - What is the opposite of gay water? Africa by Toto
- How did the Ethiopian priest make holy water? He blessed the rains down in Africa.
- £5 per month can supply a whole village in Africa with water. Yet I'm paying £30 per month for just me!
- The water problem in Africa is like someone put a sponge block from Minecraft in the stream.
- What do you call a large, grey, water-dwelling mammal from Africa that swears a lot? A hippopottymouth
South Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny south africa jokes and even better south africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar? He would have made a gas car
- What's the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common? Living within continents.
- Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa? Nelson Candela
- Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them. - I took a trip to South Africa and met a Khoisan woman. We really clicked.
- Why was Dr. Jekyll banned from South Africa? Because he was a part Hyde
- Y'know, I could have sworn South Africa had apartheid. Is this the Mandela Effect?
- Olympic sailing competition just finished. France got the gold, South Africa got the silver, and ... Somalia got the boat.
- New English Word: Electrogasm. That excited feeling you get as the electricity comes back on after loadshedding.
- I'm taking a trip to South Africa's capital. It's a three-way ticket.
Toto Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny toto africa jokes and even better toto africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't you have more than 99 people listen to toto's Africa at once? Its something that 100 men or more could never do
- Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road? he missed the rains down in africa
- If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss? They missed the rains down in Africa
- What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa Toto recall
- I want to hear 99 people sing "Africa" by Toto... ...It's something that a hundred men or more could never do
- What's experienced when someone remembers the singer of Africa? Toto recall
- What is Dorothy's favorite song of all time? "Africa" by Toto.
Eastern Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern africa jokes and even better eastern africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call poppies from eastern Africa? Ethiopium
- I ordered some drugs online from eastern africa but I don't know if they will arrive or not. Schrödinger's khat.
Africa Animal Jokes
Here is a list of funny africa animal jokes and even better africa animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An African and a parrot went to a tavern they ask for a beer...
and the Barman asks: where did you find this animal?
and the Parrot responds: In Africa. - Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research? The Hippo Campus.
- When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
Comical Africa Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about africa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean missionary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make africa pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why can't you trust cats from Africa?
Because most of them are lion!
The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage...
...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins.
A context joke
Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
African Roulette
Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.
The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."
The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.
The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform o**... s**... on you."
The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.
As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."
Black sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child.
I have a kid in africa
which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap.
Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out.
(stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)
The Parrot Says ...
A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?"
And the parrot says: "Africa."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day.
Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
An African-American lady called Betty came into my restaurant.
She proceeded to look at the menu for about half an hour before asking "Is there any chicken on the menu?"
Exasperated I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a gorilla and your mother ?
A gorilla is ground-dwelling, predominantly herbivorous ape that inhabits the forests of central Africa, & your mother is a nice lady.
... Also I did not have s**... with a gorilla.
So we've now landed a probe on a comet...
and a lot of people are now saying "why are we spending billions landing on a comet when there are starving kids in Africa"...why do they want to land a probe on starving kids in Africa, maybe one of you can explain it to me?
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it always a full tide in South Africa?
Because they made a part tide i**....
The Albino and the Black Sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.
The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Ok, ok, you no tell anyone, I no tell anyone."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Women are alot like continents.
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- v**... territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
Is it racist if it's true? Read and answer.
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "hey that's neat where'd you find him?"
The parrot replies "Africa, they're all over the place."
A priest and a shepherd...
... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
How do you start an earthquake in East Africa?
Shake Djibouti.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
"Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."
An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart?
By their last names.
Ever wonder why African dating agencies are so successful?
The clients always click
What do you call a group of medical professionals who navigate around the Horn of Africa without being accosted by pirates?
Doctors without boarders.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the most positive thing about Africa?
h**....
A black man walks into a bar...
A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"
"Africa," replied the parrot.
Every 60 seconds in Africa...
A minute passes.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
United States
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just got off the phone with a charity that wanted my old clothes for folks starving in Africa. Well, I think it is a scam.
Anyone that can wear my clothes sure ain't starving.
My African-American friend hooked up with a girl from Thailand...
It was a real black-Thai affair.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Magic Johnson, Charlie Sheen and roughly 250,000 children in Africa have in common?
A continuing chance to create a better tomorrow.
You **sick** b**....
What has 2 kids and no money?
Every military in Africa.
What game do children play in Africa?
Don't Starve.
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm very naive s**.... My partner asked me to do m**......
... and I went off to Africa for six months.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United State
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S.
One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.'
The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa..." is really s**...
Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.
I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast
Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate
What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop either.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"
"Rhino!"
"We know you know the answer, s**..., but it's not your turn."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Took my GF and her friends on a tour on Africa. They hated every country we visited, except for one.
Turns out girls only like Chad.
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves, so they took it out to different countries for a test. In USA, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves,
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,
Spain in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves :
Nigeria in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves,
Uganda in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves,
Then they brought it to South Africa , in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder...
He orders a beer.
Popping off the cap, the bartender says Wow! Where did you get that?
The parrot replies, Africa.
Why do African Americans always have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot
I told my friend I had been in Africa gambling with the natives. Zulu's? He asked.
I said nope. I usually won.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Africa never win the Olympics?
Because it's a continent, d**....
I heard about this little village in Africa where everybody is dying of thirst...
So I sent them a "Get Well Soon" card.
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having s**... with each other in the open.
I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
I have a kid in Africa...
I have a kid in Africa and for only 37 cents a day he has a place to live, plenty of food, and all his shots.
The expensive part was flying him there.
If you could have Bill Gates' wealth or cure all the suffering in Africa...
What colour Ferrari would you get?
What Africa Really needs
If only Africa had more mosquito nets
Then every year we could save millions
Of mosquitos from dying needless from aids
\- Jimmy Carr
A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...
when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?
The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife's favorite position is the m**.... That's when she's on her back in bed...
and I'm in Africa.
What part of the sleigh did Santa leave behind while he was passing through Africa?
He left the reigns down in Africa.
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
When I was a child, I didn't like eating sprouts.
I told my mom I wasn't hungry.
She said:
the children in Africa would be happy with sprouts!
I replied:
and the moms in Africa would be happy with a child that's not hungry!
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
