Africa Jokes
153 africa jokes and hilarious africa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about africa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Africa jokes. From Safari jokes to crocodile jokes, we've got all the best Africa humor.
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- Short Africa Jokes
- Africa One Liners
- Africa Water Jokes
- South Africa Jokes
- Toto Africa Jokes
- Eastern Africa Jokes
- Africa Animal Jokes
- More Africa Jokes
Funniest Africa Short Jokes
Short africa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The africa humour may include short africa water jokes also.
- In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types. But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
- I was confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rain down in Africa. - I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa. Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
- my wife left me because i'm obssesed with africa kenya believe it?
and we have two kids together, this divorce is ghana be so hard on them - I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa. Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa
- Tesla founder elon musk is originally from South Africa, which is strange You'd think he was from mad-at-gas-car.
- A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That is true in every country, son."
- Stop sending toys to children in Africa It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.
- A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot... The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"
"Africa", says the parrot. - I've worked with starving children in Africa, and let me tell you... They are the slowest workers I've ever seen.
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Africa One Liners
Which africa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with africa? I can suggest the ones about south africa and continent.
- Why was the baby in Africa crying? It was having a mid-life crisis.
- Why are there no casino in Africa? Too many cheetahs.
- Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball? Because Africa isn't a country.
- What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa? Outtagascar
- What is the most difficult animal to hunt in Africa? The Polar bear.
- Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa? Because it can't be taken on empty stomach
- I thought I would go and help out in Africa ...turns out they have enough aids.
- How south is South Africa? South AF
- Dark humor never gets old. Just like children in Africa.
- Which disease is least prevalent in Africa? Obesity
- Do you know why there's no gambling in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.
- Why are there no vampires in africa? Because they blessed the rains down in africa.
- Where were thr first gas cars invented? In Africa, they Madagascar.
- My financial situation is so bad... ...I'm being sponsored by a child in Africa.
- Is Africa by Toto country music? No it's continent music.
Africa Water Jokes
Here is a list of funny africa water jokes and even better africa water puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water... They blessed the rains down in Africa.
- I always feel bad for the kids in africa when I waste water.. And when I leave the oven on, I feel bad for the jews.
- Why are there so many vampires in Europe and not in Africa? Vampires are killed with holy water and they bless the rains down in Africa.
- Drinking water in africa hashtag nofilter
- How do you get 11 million followers? Walk with a bottle of water in Africa.
- How do you get 11 million followers Run thorugh africa holding a bottle of water
- My friend in Africa was complaining about the lack of drinking water in his village. So I sent him a Get Well Soon card.
- What are there no vampires in Africa Because vampires die from holy water , and we blessed the rains down in Africa
- How to get 10 million followers instantly Take a water bottle and run through Africa
- Did you know the w in Africa stands for water? There is no w in Africa.
South Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny south africa jokes and even better south africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Missing South Africa In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps." - I was pretty surprised to learn Elon Musk was born in South Africa I thought he was born in Mad-at-gas-car
- Elon Musk was born in South Africa, and made an electric car. What if he had been born in Madagascar? He would have made a gas car
- I was surprised to find out that Elon Musk was born in South Africa I thought he was born in Mad-at-gas-car.
- What's the one problem that everyone from Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia have in common? Living within continents.
- Which unit describes the intensity of light in South Africa? Nelson Candela
- Some lions just escaped a nature reserve in South Africa They were rejected from their group.
They could maybe ask to be let in the group again
But their pride wouldn't let them. - Why is gambling banned in South Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.
- I took a trip to South Africa and met a Khoisan woman. We really clicked.
- Why was Dr. Jekyll banned from South Africa? Because he was a part Hyde
Toto Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny toto africa jokes and even better toto africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't you have more than 99 people listen to toto's Africa at once? Its something that 100 men or more could never do
- Why wasn't toto as excited as dorothy when they traveled the yellow brick road? he missed the rains down in africa
- If Dorothy missed Kansas, what did Toto miss? They missed the rains down in Africa
- What is the opposite of gay water? Africa by Toto
- The Wizard of Oz takes on a whole new plot when you look at it from Toto's perspective... ... as much as Dorothy misses Kansas, Toto misses the rains down in Africa.
- What do you call it when Arnold Schwarzenegger remembers the lyrics to Africa Toto recall
- I want to hear 99 people sing "Africa" by Toto... ...It's something that a hundred men or more could never do
- What's experienced when someone remembers the singer of Africa? Toto recall
- What is Dorothy's favorite song of all time? "Africa" by Toto.
Eastern Africa Jokes
Here is a list of funny eastern africa jokes and even better eastern africa puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call poppies from eastern Africa? Ethiopium
- I ordered some drugs online from eastern africa but I don't know if they will arrive or not. Schrödinger's khat.
Africa Animal Jokes
Here is a list of funny africa animal jokes and even better africa animal puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- An African and a parrot went to a tavern they ask for a beer...
and the Barman asks: where did you find this animal?
and the Parrot responds: In Africa. - Why don't animals play poker in Africa? Because they're cheetahs.
- Where do animals in sub-Saharan Africa do their PhD research? The Hippo Campus.
- When Chuck Norris visits Africa, the animals are required to stay in their cars.
- "Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?" "Rhino!"
"We know you know the answer, s**..., but it's not your turn." - Q: Where can you find the biggest amount of the largest sized women's l**... in the world?
A: In Africa: there's thousands of Z bras.
Comical Africa Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land
What funny jokes about africa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean missionary jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make africa pranks.
If you're African you will get this: (WARNING: racist)
AIDS
A context joke
Have you ever noticed that when you say, "I hope you're hungry" in a place like America it's nice.
But if you say that in Africa it is a cruel joke.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many cheetahs
A black dude walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bar tender goes "Awesome, Where'd you get that?"
The parrot replies "Africa, there's thousands of them there."
African Roulette
Four men are captured by a tribe in the middle of Africa.
The tribe leader gives them the choice of either death, or they can try their luck at "African Roulette."
The men, as one of the choices seemingly had a chance to stay alive, hastily all chose the second option.
The tribe leader lined up 6 extremely gorgeous women in front of the men, and said "You must choose one of these beautiful women to preform o**... s**... on you."
The men saw nothing wrong with this and were ecstatic at their luck, yet confused about the "roulette" part.
As they chose their women and were getting ready, the tribe leader spoke up and said, "One of them is a cannibal."
Why don't Africans go on cruises?
They're not falling for that one again.
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder..
The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"
The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"
Black sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science.
One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion."
The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child.
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
The bartender asks him, "Where did you get that thing?"
Parrot says, "Africa."
I have a kid in africa
which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap.
Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out.
(stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)
The Parrot Says ...
A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?"
And the parrot says: "Africa."
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, clothe, school, and inoculate for 75 cents a day.
Which is practically nothing compared to what it cost to send him there.
An African-American lady called Betty came into my restaurant.
She proceeded to look at the menu for about half an hour before asking "Is there any chicken on the menu?"
Exasperated I replied "No black Betty, it's ham or lamb."
A black man enters a bar...
with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said;
- That's cool! Where did you get that?
- In Africa, replied the parrot.
UN Food Survey Fails...
UN Phone Survey
Last month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was:
"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"
The survey was a complete failure because:
In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
In the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
And in Australia , New Zealand and Britain everyone hung up as soon as they heard the Indian accent.
Why is it always a full tide in South Africa?
Because they made a part tide i**....
The Albino and the Black Sheep
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child.
The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!"
The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Ok, ok, you no tell anyone, I no tell anyone."
Women are alot like continents.
At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- v**... territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.
Is it racist if it's true? Read and answer.
A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "hey that's neat where'd you find him?"
The parrot replies "Africa, they're all over the place."
A priest and a shepherd...
... from Australia participate in a gameshow on TV. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It's a city in Africa.
The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration:
"I was a father all my life,
I had no children, had no wife,
I read the bible through and through
on my way to Timbuktu ... "
The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his poem:
"When Tim and I to Brisbane went
We met three ladies cheap to rent.
But they were three and we were two,
So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
A black man walks into a bar...
And sits down with a parrot on his shoulder. When the bartender asks what he would like to drink, the parrot answers instead.
"v**...!" it squawks.
Amazed by the trick, the bartender got him his drink and stood back in awe. A few minutes later, the curiosity became to strong for the bartender and he had to know.
" hey, where did u get that? It's so well trained!"
"Africa" answers the parrot.
A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.
"Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."
A black guy with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, "Where'd ya get it?"
The parrot says, "Africa."
(I don't know if you know this one, but I just heard it today)
Archeologists in South Africa have just discoved what they think is the oldest t**... ever found
They are trying to find out what period it came from
A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder
The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"
The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"
Why is Pokemon quite realistic?
Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.
An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart?
By their last names.
So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder...
The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"
"Africa!", says the parrot.
Marriage joke
A little boy says, 'Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' 'Son,' says the dad. 'That happens everywhere.'
The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa , a minute passes" is s**...
Because the majority of Africans don't get seconds , they'll be very lucky if they even get their first servings .
Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa?
Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you.
What's the most positive thing about Africa?
h**....
A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?" The parrot responded, saying, "there are millions of them running around in Africa."
A black man walks into a bar...
A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.
"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"
"Africa," replied the parrot.
United States
Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a mid life crisis
So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.
The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."
The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa..." is really s**...
Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.
I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast
Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate
What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop either.
Why is it that there's no pharmacies in Africa?
Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves
In Japan they invented a machine that catches thieves, so they took it out to different countries for a test. In USA, in 30 minutes, it caught 20 thieves,
UK, in 30 minutes it caught 500 thieves,
Spain in 20 minutes it caught 25 thieves :
Nigeria in 10 minutes it caught 6,000 thieves,
Uganda in 7 minutes it caught 20,000 thieves,
Then they brought it to South Africa , in 5 minutes the machine was stolen.
Why do African Americans always have nightmares?
Because the last one to have a dream got shot
A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...
The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"
"Africa" said the parrot
Why does Africa never win the Olympics?
Because it's a continent, d**....
I heard about this little village in Africa where everybody is dying of thirst...
So I sent them a "Get Well Soon" card.
The UN decided to do a worldwide survey...
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge flop. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe, they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe, they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China, they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East, they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America, they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA, they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having s**... with each other in the open.
I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?
Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.
Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?
One student raises their hand,
The cheetah is faster dandelion.
I have a kid in Africa...
I have a kid in Africa and for only 37 cents a day he has a place to live, plenty of food, and all his shots.
The expensive part was flying him there.
If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.
A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...
when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?
The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."
Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe
Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa
When I was a child, I didn't like eating sprouts.
I told my mom I wasn't hungry.
She said:
the children in Africa would be happy with sprouts!
I replied:
and the moms in Africa would be happy with a child that's not hungry!
A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.
The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.
I was wondering why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe but not in África. Then i realised vampires are killed by holy water.
They bless the rains down in Africa .
Credits to u/Josh1804
