Africa Jokes

Following is our collection of jungles humor and missionaries one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Africa puns for adults, dirty asia jokes or clean south africa gags for kids.

There is an abundance of savanna jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 54 funniest jokes on africa. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any namibia witze you can hear about africa.

The Best jokes about Africa

In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types.

But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.

I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.

Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.

Since Vampires are supposedly hurt by holy water, I always wondered why priests don't just say a prayer over every storm cloud, kill the vampires from above. Then I realized why so many Vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

Why was the baby in Africa crying?

It was having a mid-life crisis.

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN.

The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.


Why did the African 3 year old cry?

He was having a mid life crisis

Why are there no casinos in Africa?

Too many cheetahs.

Why does Africa never win the Olympics?

Because it's a continent, dumbass.

Since vampires are hurt by holy water, I always wondered why Priests don't bless storm clouds and kill them from above. Then I realized why most vampires live in Europe

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa

Why hasn't Africa ever won Olympic gold in basketball?

Because Africa isn't a country.

The term "Every 60 seconds in Africa..." is really stupid

Everyone knows Africans don't get seconds, they're lucky if they get a single serving.


"Okay Fred, Shaggy and Daphne, can you name an animal that lives in Africa and has a large horn on its face?"

"Rhino!"

"We know you know the answer, Scooby, but it's not your turn."

An African American woman has 5 son's, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, Tyrone, and Tyrone. How do you tell them apart?

By their last names.

A professor in South Africa is teaching her students how to form Emglish sentences.

Attention class I have two words: Cheetah, and dandelion. Can anybody use these together in a sentence?

One student raises their hand,

The cheetah is faster dandelion.

United States

Two immigrants from Africa arrive in the United States and are discussing the difference between their country and the U.S. One of them mentions he's heard that people in the U.S. eat dogs, and if they're going to fit in, they better eat dogs as well. So they head to the nearest hot dog stand and order two 'dogs.' The first guy unwraps his, looks at it, and nervously looks at his friend.
"Which part did you get?"

So an African woman named Betty walked into a butcher and asked if they had beef.

The Butcher replied "No, Black Betty, ham or lamb."

A black man walks into a bar...

A black man walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder.

"That is really special," said the bartender. "Where did you get it?"

"Africa," replied the parrot.

What do you call a vehicle with no fuel in Africa?

Outtagascar

What's the most positive thing about Africa?

HIV.


Why ebola medicine doesn't work in Africa?

Because it can't be taken on empty stomach

A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"

Dad replied, "That is true in every country, son."

Stop sending toys to children in Africa

It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you.

Why don't Africans go on cruises?

They're not falling for that one again.

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot...

The bartender says, "Wow! That is really cool! Where did you get it?"

"Africa", says the parrot.

I've worked with starving children in Africa, and let me tell you...

They are the slowest workers I've ever seen.

I was on a safari in Africa when I saw two male lions having sex with each other in the open.

I thought to myself, Have they got no pride?

I thought I would go and help out in Africa

...turns out they have enough aids.

A black man walks into the doctors with a fancy parrot in his shoulder

The doctor says "what a magnificent creature, where did you get that?"

The parrot replies "Africa there's millions of them"

So a Black guy walks into a bar with a beautiful parrot on his shoulder...

The bartender says "Wow, that's something real special you've got there! Where'd you get it?"

"Africa!", says the parrot.

If vampires are hurt by holy water, why don't priests just bless a storm cloud to kill vampires everywhere? But then I remembered why so many vampires are from Europe...

Someone already blessed the rains down in Africa.

When I was a child, I didn't like eating sprouts.

I told my mom I wasn't hungry.

She said:
the children in Africa would be happy with sprouts!

I replied:
and the moms in Africa would be happy with a child that's not hungry!

A black man with a parrot on his shoulder walks into a bar...

The bar tender suprised says "Huh, where'd you get him?"

"Africa" said the parrot

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

"Cool, where'd you get that?" says the bartender. "Africa", replies the parrot. "They're all over the place."

A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...

when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?

The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."

How south is South Africa?

South AF

A black dude walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bar tender goes "Awesome, Where'd you get that?"


The parrot replies "Africa, there's thousands of them there."

Why is Pokemon quite realistic?

Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

I was wondering why there were so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa, and than I realized Vampires are killed by Holy water...

They blessed the rains down in Africa.

Why is it that there's no pharmacies in Africa?

Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder..

The bartender looks at him and says, "Wow, that's pretty cool! Where'd you get it?"

The parrot replies, "In Africa, they're everywhere!"

I always feel bad for the kids in africa when I waste water..

And when I leave the oven on, I feel bad for the jews.

A black guy with a parrot walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "wow! That is beautiful! Where did you get it?" The parrot responded, saying, "there are millions of them running around in Africa."

Missing South Africa

In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South Africa."

So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."

Which disease is least prevalent in Africa?

Obesity

Women are alot like continents.

At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

I went to a hotel that had continental breakfast

Unfortunately the continent was Africa so all I got was an empty plate

What does Africa hunger and a mercedes have in common?

Princess Diana couldn't stop either.

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender asks him, "Where did you get that thing?"

Parrot says, "Africa."

A black man enters a bar...

with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender, all surprised and shocked, said;
- That's cool! Where did you get that?

- In Africa, replied the parrot.

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.

The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".

African president asked, "What is food?".

Europe asked, "What is Short?".

USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".

North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".

Why do African Americans always have nightmares?

Because the last one to have a dream got shot

I heard about this little village in Africa where everybody is dying of thirst...

So I sent them a "Get Well Soon" card.

Marriage joke

A little boy says, 'Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' 'Son,' says the dad. 'That happens everywhere.'

I have a kid in africa

which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap.

Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out.

(stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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