Following is our collection of Afraid jokes which are very funny. There are some afraid hazy jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these afraid timid puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
A chicken.
None. They're afraid of change- even if it makes the world a brighter place.
(
Because 6, 7 8.
He'll stop at nothing to avoid them.
Because they once had a fight and 71.
#
Sorry guys.
**Therapist:** That's actually quite common, sometimes I hear a whiny bitchass girly voice.
**Me:** What do you mean?
**Therapist:** There it goes again.
Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
The other day I was reading my emails and there was one from my boss, it said;
"Mr. Morgan I regret to inform you that although I thought this company could tolerate your ADD, I'm afraid you're just not productive enough. You may turn up Wednesday to collect your things. I sincerely hope you will be OK."
And I thought to myself, doesn't OK look like a sideways person?
The owner of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning heavily against wall. The owner asks the clerk, "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk says, "Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn't find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative."
The owner says, "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
The clerk says, "Oh yeah? Look at him, he's afraid to cough!"
Me: "...How is she?"
Doctor: "I'm afraid she's critical".
Me: "Oh, you get used to that...".
Because zeta eta theta.
You can explore afraid shy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean afraid dread dad jokes. There are also afraid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Because seven was black.
7 is black.
I'm afraid she might get pregnant, what should I do ?
Nine Inch Nails
Because 8 and 9 died in a double homicide and 7 is the **prime** suspect.
The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
because you know he's guilty.
Because there's something odd about him
He asks the clerk, 'What's with that guy?'
Clerk says, 'He came in with a bad cough and asked me for cough medicine. We were out of cough medicine, so I gave him a whole bottle of laxative instead.'
The guy says, 'What?! You can't treat a cough with laxative!'
The clerk replies, 'Of course you can! Look at him. He's afraid to cough!'
"Is this your wife, sir?" they asked.
"Yes", I replied.
"I'm afraid it looks like she's been hit by a bus."
"I know, but she's good with the kids."
Because it was in the middle of 9/11
The vet picks up the dog and looks at him. After a moment he turns to the man. "Sir," he says, "your dog is healthy but I'm afraid I'm going to have to put him down."
"Why?" the man demanded.
The vet replied, "Because he's heavy."
They don't believe in a higher power.
...and things are not looking good. So an old lady leans over and says to the boy:
"Son you got hit pretty bad, I know it's hard to hear the truth but I'm afraid you might meet Jesus soon. Would you like to see a priest?"
To which the little boy replies:
"How can you think about sex in a time like this?"
Most crashes happen at ground level
Because 7 didn't have a removable battery and blew up in everybody's pocket
need to grow up
I answered and he said "Mr. Smith? it's your wife, I'm afraid it looks like she's been in an accident."
I said "I know, but she has a great personality and is a wonderful mΜΆuΜΆmΜΆ cook."
A chicken
Because 7 ate the headphone jack.
A mathematician is afraid of flying due to the small risk of a terrorist attack. So, on every flight he takes a bomb with his hand luggage. "The probability of having a bomb on a plane is very low", he reason, "and the probability of having two bombs on the same plane is virtually zero."
The man looks at the photo and answers; "Yes that is her."
The police officer looks the man in the eyes and calmly exclaims; "I am afraid it looks as though your wife has been hit by a train."
The man replies; "Yes, officer, but she is kind and makes great food for me."
Because Seven ate nine grams of bath salts and then killed all of the other numbers.
But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.
I'm now afraid of light.
So I became a bus driver.
But I was afraid that I would fall of my bike on my way home and break the bottle, so I drank the entire bottle before I went home. Which ended up being a good thing since I fell of my bike 7 times on my way home
Because Six, Seven ate.
Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."
Jill replies, "You'll have to jack off then, 'cause I've got a headache."
Because you're supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day.
Because you're supposed to eat three squared meals per day.
He's afraid he'll get double crossed
Because 7 ate 9.
Why did 7 eat 9?
Because you need 3 squared meals a day.
The police arrested 3 as well as 7, why?
Because 3 was the root of the problem.
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
why am I still afraid of failure?
I'm gonna start taking steps to avoid them
I bought a nice bottle of scotch and put it in my basket.. I was afraid that if I fell over the bottle might break so instead of risking it I drank the bottle right there.
Turned out to be a smart thing to do because I must have fallen 12 times on my short way back home..
Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
(English isn't my first language, sorry if the translation isn't the best)
The phone rings at 10 Downing Street.
- Hello, mister Putin would like to speak with Theresa May.
- I'm afraid she's currently sleeping.
- Very well, if she wakes up please tell her that mister Putin would like to talk to her.
- Will do.
- Thank you. *hangs up*
- Wait. What do you mean "if"?
Patient: I didn't even know I was I'll
because they remember what the last fat man did to them
"Hello how I may I be of assistance sir?"
"I NEED YOU TO SEND SOMEONE TO MY ROOM RIGHT AWAY."
"Calm down Sir, what seems to be the problem?"
"My wife is trying to jump out of the window..."
"Oh that sounds like a personal matter, I'm afraid we cannot involve ourselves."
"Listen here you smartass, the window isn't opening up and that's a maintenance matter!"
Me: And ?
Me: What?
Doctor: Skeletons
Because it's important to eat three squared meals a day
Because he needed 3Β² meals a day.
They are afraid that social distancing measures may push people over the edge.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you," the wife replies, "he died last week." The day after he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Cos" He replies laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
Is sphere itself.
Therapist: you are?
Me: "screams"
Therapist: Oh I see
Me: "continues to scream"
>!This administration is afraid of transparency.!<
You don't recognize anybody, but everybody recognizes you.
Because they're afraid of change.
She came to me one evening, very serious. I knew something was going on. She asked, in that tone that instantly puts a lump in your throat, I suspect you've been unfaithful. Do you have a sec to talk?
I wanted her to know she has my full attention, so I replied, I have a lot of secs!
I still can't figure out why she walked out.
Because the doctor said to eat 3 squared meals a day
Because 7 1ted 2 bring 3 knives 4 sur5al but 6 knew that 7 secretly h8ed him and didn't have be9 in10tions.
It's really chewing me up inside.
However, he was shocked when his doctor said to him, I'm afraid you've only got three weeks to live.
Are you sure? said Dan, I feel fine. Isn't there anything that can be done?
Well, said his doctor, you could try taking a mud bath each day.
Will that cure me? asked Dan.
No, but it'll get you used to the dirt , responded the physician.
She laughed, I laughed, Siri laughed and Alexa laughed!
-James Franco
Because he was odd.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the afraid fear jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working afraid fearful piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.