The Best 39 Afghan Jokes
Looking for a good laugh? Check out our collection of Afghan jokes. From light-hearted to downright hilarious, we've got something for everyone.
Top 10 Funniest Afghan Jokes and Puns
Where does an Afghan boy go during a drone strike?
Everywhere.
A man is very worried about the future...
Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.
''Hold your hand out for me.''
The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''
''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''
(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)
After reading that Afghanistan had the highest infant mortality rate, this occurred to me.
What do you call Afghan triplets?
Twins!
I am so sorry....
The TSA confiscated my grandmother's knitting needles
They were afraid she would make an Afghan.
How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?
Iran (He ran).
Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.
Last night an Afghan put a jacket on me.
He said "You da bomb!"
What's the difference between a secret Taliban hideout and an Afghan public school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone
Did you hear about the Afghan Rastafarian?
He was stoned.
A Afghan war veteran took a class in woman studies.
Now both men on horses and men on cows triggers his
PTSD
How did I get out of Afghanistan?
Iran.
What do you call the first Afghan off the boat?
Amhere.
What do you call the second Afghan off the boat?
Amhere Azwel.
What do you call the third Afghan off the boat?
Amhere Azwell Azhim. :)
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A woman must walk 5 paces behind...
Barbara Walters did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict.
She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands.
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
why was the Afghani dude searching for a child specialist?
His wife was ill.
What do you call an Afghan virgin?
Never bin laid on.
Why aren't there any Wal-Mart's in Afghanistan?
Because they are all Target's!
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan dude
He was standing on a fifth floor balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
What is the difference between an Afghan terror camp and an Afghan nursery?
No idea, I just fly the drone.
My grandma was not allowed to bring her knitting needles on the airplane.
They were worried she might knit an afghan.
A Afghan man named Ahmed is walking down a dirt road with his wife ahead of him a few steps.
He meets another man going the opposite way.
"Salam aleikum, brother" he says.
"Aleikum Assalam" replies Ahmed.
"Did you know that the Great Prophet would never allow a woman to walk ahead of him?" asks the man.
Ahmed replies, "And did you know that there were no minefields in the time of the Prophet?" He then turns to the wife, "Keep walking, Saida."
An Afghan soldier called me earlier and told me he was in a refugee camp...
...but when he told it to me, he said he was caught between Iraq and a hard place.
Why do all Afghans carry a piece of sandpaper?
Because they need a map
Why are there no TV's in Afghanistan?
Because of the Teleban.
I've never understood Afghan markets
They're just so Bazaar
Why do Afghan people have light brown skin?
Because Afghan is tan
How could the Afghans defeat the Soviet forces?
They Afghans from USA
What's the difference between an Afghan village and a terrorist camp?
I don't know, I'm just the one flying the drone.
What does the p in Afghanistan stand for.............................................................................................. PEACE.
What do call a bunch of middle eastern people in a sauna
Afghan sweaters
Joke about a blanket
Friend: My brother got me this scarf from Afganistan
Me: He should have got you an Afghan instead.
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."
Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...
Land mines.
What did the Afghan who didn't like Muslims say?
Islamabad
A knitted afghan can be a good accent piece that can also keep you warm...
That's just a blanket statement.
Afghanistan is sending 1200 troops to Washington D.C.
on a mission to secure the fragile democracy.
What's the difference between a Taliban fighter and an Afghan child?
Don't ask me, I just pilot the drone.
An Afghan villager is walking down a road with his wife ahead of him a few steps.
He meets his fellow villager going the opposite way.
He says, "Ahmed, Prophet Muhammad would never let his wife walk ahead of him."
The first villager replies, "Well, at the time of the Prophet there were no minefields."
What did the Afghanistan government say after the American military left?
Biden.
What is the differnce between an afghan Soldier and a Woman ?
The Woman has the balls to oppose the Taliban.
An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...
He is immediately stopped by Paxtani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he's the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.
Paxtani border officer: "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?"
Afghan: "Don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the afghan lebanon jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working afghan iraqi piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.