Afghan Jokes

A man is very worried about the future...

Anxious with fright, he visits the village soothsayer and asks him what the future holds.
''Hold your hand out for me.''
The man does as requested and the soothsayer looks at the hand, the shapes and patterns intriguing him. A bit cautiously he says ''Your mother in law will die very soon.''
''I know that already! Just tell me if the police will able to catch me or not!''
(I was watching an Afghan comedy show and this joke came up! :)

How did he get from Afghanistan to Iraq?

Iran (He ran).
Thought of this when looking at the world map, sorry that it's terrible.

How did I get out of Afghanistan?

Iran.

why was the Afghani dude searching for a child specialist?

His wife was ill.

Why aren't there any Wal-Mart's in Afghanistan?

Because they are all Target's!

What is the difference between an Afghan t**... camp and an Afghan nursery?

No idea, I just fly the drone.

A Afghan man named Ahmed is walking down a dirt road with his wife ahead of him a few steps.

He meets another man going the opposite way.
"Salam aleikum, brother" he says.
"Aleikum Assalam" replies Ahmed.
"Did you know that the Great Prophet would never allow a woman to walk ahead of him?" asks the man.
Ahmed replies, "And did you know that there were no minefields in the time of the Prophet?" He then turns to the wife, "Keep walking, Saida."

An Afghan soldier called me earlier and told me he was in a r**... camp...

...but when he told it to me, he said he was caught between Iraq and a hard place.

Why are there no TV's in Afghanistan?

Because of the Teleban.

What does the p in Afghanistan stand for.............................................................................................. PEACE.

Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walked behind their husbands, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime and women seemed happy to maintain the old custom.
Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you still abide by an old custom, that you once tried so desperately to change?"
The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

Barbara Walters once did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked five paces behind their husbands...

Land mines.

Afghanistan is sending 1200 troops to Washington D.C.

on a mission to secure the fragile democracy.

An Afghan villager is walking down a road with his wife ahead of him a few steps.

He meets his fellow villager going the opposite way.
He says, "Ahmed, Prophet Muhammad would never let his wife walk ahead of him."
The first villager replies, "Well, at the time of the Prophet there were no minefields."

What did the Afghanistan government say after the American military left?

Biden.

What is the differnce between an afghan Soldier and a Woman ?

The Woman has the b**... to oppose the Taliban.

An Afghan escaping from Taliban walks in through the Pakistani border...

He is immediately stopped by Paxtani border patrol agents and asked to identify himself. He stops and says he's the Minister of Ports & Shipping of Afghanistan.
Paxtani border officer: "But there is no sea in Afghanistan. How can you be the Minister of Ports & Shipping?"
Afghan: "Don't you have a Minister for Law & Justice in Pakistan?"

In Afghanistan, they've made it i**... to count the votes cast in any election.

It's the Tally Ban.