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Affliction Jokes

12 affliction jokes and hilarious affliction puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about affliction that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Affliction Short Jokes

Short affliction jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The affliction humour may include short jokes also.

  1. What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene.
    What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?
    Irene.
  2. Before 2020 we had the Stockholm syndrome... Now we're all afflicted with the Stuckhome syndrome.
  3. What do you call a person afflicted with cerebral palsy that likes riding on merry-go-rounds? A Fidget Spinner.
  4. That "Minecraft" videogame is taking its toll on my cousin's health. The doctors have never seen someone so young afflicting by Black Lung.
  5. I made a movie about hypochondria but nobody came to see it. They shunned my depiction of a fictional affliction.

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Affliction Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about affliction you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make affliction pranks.

At our world famous clinic, many worried, afflicted and mentally unstable people come for assistance. I know it may sound ridiculous, but we start by suggesting they try one of our brain transplant procedures.

They always reject the offer at first, but eventually we change their minds.

THE CHOICE

GOD APPEARED BEFORE AN IRISHMAN AND SAID, 'FOR YOUR DEVOTION, I WILL GIVE YOU A CHOICE BETWEEN PARKINSONS OR ALZHEIMERS FOR YOUR ELDERLY AFFLICTION.'
THE IRISHMAN SAID,; THATS EASY. PARKINSONS.'
'WHY IS IT EASY?' GOD ASKED
'I'D RATHER SPILL HALF A GLASS OF WHISKEY THAN FORGET WHERE THE BOTTLES ARE.'

Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.


After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"

Dad Jokes

Dad jokes aren't an affliction that happens to dads, they're a way of life. No one should ever be ashamed of #dadjokes. Instead, if you are a father, you should be worried if you don't know enough good dad jokes.
You know that old saying, Where there's a will there's a way? That's a pretty good one. Another good saying? A corny joke doesn't have to have any kernels in it. Yeah, that's not a real saying. But it feels like it, right? That's the beauty of #dadjoke — that wordplay makes you self-satisfied and your kids want to disappear under the dinner table. It's one of the perks that comes with a lifetime membership to the dad club, so make sure you have a good groaner for every occasion.

A Knight's Retinue

A knight and his page stop for the evening at an inn, a squire close behind. The knight calls for the women to come and service his men, as they've been riding long and hard all day and wish to continue in the same manner. Four girls enter the room and pair up with the men in turn, but the last two are forced to double up. As morning came, the girls found a few new problems with themselves.
"That knight had chlamydia!", shouted one.
"Well the squire had c**...!", shouted another.
The last two girls checked themselves in a hurry, but found no new afflictions.
"Wow," one said, turning to the other. "I'm glad we were on the same page."

A charismatic preacher...

A charismatic preacher at a church invited any members of his flock who had problems to come forward so that prayers could be offered on their behalf. One rather scruffy, down at heel young man approached the pulpit and upon being asked the nature of his problem said, It's my hearing. The preacher then led the congregation in prayer asking for divine intervention to ease this poor man's affliction, accompanied by a chorus of praise the Lords, and Hallelujahs. Following this mass intervention the preacher asked the young man, How's your hearing now? to which he replied, It's not on 'till next Thursday.

The Wire Brush

An Army officer decides to inspect soldiers recovering in one of the field hospitals he commands. He marches into one of the tents, goes up to the first private he sees and barks, "What's your affliction, private?" 
Standing at attention, "Venereal warts, SIR!"
He then asks, "And what treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"
Finally he asks, "And what's your ambition, soldier?"
"To get back to the frontline, SIR!"
He goes up to the next private, "What's your affliction, private?" 
"Chronic piles, SIR!"
"And what treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush every day, SIR!"
"And what's your ambition, soldier?"
"To get back to the frontline, SIR!"
On it went until the officer had nearly made it through the whole ward.  He goes up to the last private, looking like he may die at any moment.
Taking it down a notch, "What's your affliction, son?" 
"Gingivitis, sir."
"And what treatment are you getting?"
"Five minutes with the wire brush every day, sir."
"And what's your ambition, soldier?"
"TO GET THE WIRE BRUSH BEFORE THOSE OTHER GUYS, SIR!!"