Affection Jokes

Following is our collection of unconditional humor and interactions one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Affection puns for adults, dirty apostrophes jokes or clean amorous gags for kids.

There is an abundance of devotion jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 19 funniest jokes on affection. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any friendship witze you can hear about affection.

The Best jokes about Affection

Anyone know where I can find someone to share a bond of mutual affection, typically exclusive of sexual or family relations?

Asking for a friend.

Be careful what you name your kids

I met my wife when I was 25. We got married fairly young because she got pregnant. In march of 1989 we had a beautiful baby daughter that my wife wanted to name Love. She was the fruit of our mutual affection; therefore I agreed.
Love grew up hating her name, which greatly upset me and her mother. She was bullied in school every day, something we would have given anything to be able to stop. One day Love came home from school and kissed me on the cheek, something she hadn't done since she was a kid. I heard my wife drive into our yard and as I went to open the garage door for her I heard a loud bang behind me and fell on the floor. My wife ran up to me, and as I bled on her arms the only thing I could utter was
_Shot through the heart
And you're to blame, darling
You gave Love
A bad name_

Whats the difference between affection and adore?

You can't slam your wife's head in affection.

My friends think my cat is loyal and selective with his affection, but the truth is

that I don't have any friends.

"Daddy, where did I come from?"

Seven-year-old Rachel asks. It is a moment for which her parents have carefully prepared. They take her into the living room, get out several other books, and explain all they think she should know about sexual attraction, affection, love, and reproduction.
Then they both sit back and smile contentedly. "Does that answer your question?" the mom asks.

"Not really," the little girl says. "Judy said she came from Detroit. I want to know where I came from."

A boy was asking out a girl when she replied to his affection with the line "I love you too, but like a brother!"

Saddened by her apparent refusal, he started walking away, until the girl said, "Wait. from where I'm from, that's good."

Confused, the boy asked, "Well, where is that?"


When I steal a sweater it's called theft

but when a girl does it, it's a sign of affection

Women can't say no to three things;

Shoes, bags, chocolate, diamonds, clothes, perfume, food, flowers, money, cosmetics, attention, romance, kindness, adventure, affection, unpredictability, confidence, humor, ice cream, shopping, free drinks..

What did the affectionate volcano tell the Hawaiian homeowner?

"I lava you."

After getting married the wife and I gradually stopped making public displays of affection...

... along with all other displays of affection.

What is it called what a man goes down on a woman in a bar?

A pub.lic display of affection

What do broken saws have in common with targets of neckbeard affection?

They're not reciprocating.

What happens when Nurgle has an affection for Han Solo?

Nurgle would try to Wuhan....

I feel sorry for the first drummer of the Beatles.

All he got was a stupid street named after him, while Ringo Starr got the love and affection of tens of women.

How do two old glasses of milk show affection?

They curdle!


What is the most affectionate type of chicken?

The tender ones (Badum Tss)

Who is the most affectionate fish in the ocean?

A Cuttlefish.

I have a hardcore yeast affection.

I love breads and doughs.

My friend told me to just joke around with others to gain their affection

I told some jokes to parasites, and now they're attached to me!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes