Aeroplane Jokes

Following is our collection of airbus humor and stewardess one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Aeroplane puns for adults, dirty turbulence jokes or clean airplane gags for kids.

There is an abundance of flight jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes on aeroplane. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any copilot witze you can hear about aeroplane.

The Best jokes about Aeroplane

My paper aeroplane won't fly.

It's completely stationery.

What noise does a aeroplane make when it bounces?

Boeing

My wife just gave birth to our son on an aeroplane!

He was airborne

I sat next to a smoking-hot thai woman on an aeroplane once...

I thought to myself.... *"please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection...."*


And then she did.

I masturbated on a aeroplane

I called it "highjacking"


A Dutchman and German man were sat next to one another on an aeroplane.

The German took off his shoes and then stood up to get a drink. He asked the Dutchman if he would like him to fetch him a cola too. The Dutchman said that would be very nice. While the German man was getting the drinks, the Dutchman spat into his shoes. Towards the end of the flight, the German put his shoes back on and then realised what the Dutch man had done. He said to him 'Why do we always have this hostility between our two countries? …Spitting in one another's shoes and weeing in each other's drinks!!'

Make me feel like a woman one last time

The pilot of an aeroplane announces they're about to crash and there is no sign of hope. Upon hearing this a beautiful young woman stands up from her seat and yells "Is there anybody man enough to make me feel like a woman one last time?" To which a man stands up, rips off his shirt and yells "Here, iron this!"

It's strange isn't it

It's strange isn't it, you stand in a library and go "Aaaaaargh" and everyone stares at you. Do the same thing on an aeroplane and everyone joins in.

What do you call a balding aeroplane?

A receding airline.

Hypocritical People


People are so hypocritical these days! The other day I went into a library, started screaming and shouting and everyone told me to shut up.

Then, later on, when I did the same thing on an aeroplane, everyone joined in!

A very nervous woman on her first Aeroplane flight, asked the stewardess, how often do planes crash?

Stewardess replies.

Only once..


I'm making a new documentary series on how to fly an aeroplane

We're currently filming the pilot

A man came up to me today and said "I've invented an aeroplane without wings"

I thought, that'll never take off

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American are in an Plane...

The Irishman throws a potato out of the plane,
"Why did you throw a potato out of the plane?" asks the Mexican and the American.
"Because there is far to many in my country," replies the Irishman.

The Mexican then throws a Taco out of the aeroplane.
"Why did you throw that taco out of the aeroplane?" The Irishman and the American ask.
"Because there are far too many in my country," the Mexican replies.

Then the American throws the Mexican out of the aeroplane.
"Oh my God! Why did you do that?" The Irishman asks.
To which the American replies.

"That was my taco."

How do you feed a skyscraper?

"Here comes the aeroplane!"

What do you call a rapper that's also an aeroplane?

Spitfire.

I know understand why Americans spell aluminium, aeroplane and colour different to the British...

They were saving up to give the WHO an I.O.U

Why wasn't the aeroplane invented in China?

Because two Wongs don't make a Wright.

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope which was hanging from a from an aeroplane.

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope which was hanging from a from an aeroplane. Ten were Blondes, and one was a brunette. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn't, then the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally the brunette said, 'I'll get off,' and she made a really moving speech.

All of the blondes started immediately applauding.


How did Osama Bin Laden feed his kids (OC)

Here comes the aeroplane...

I once tried launching an aeroplane business.

It never took off.

What do you call a black man that drives an aeroplane?

A pilot, you rascist bastards!

I have the ability to jump out of an aeroplane, mid-air and without a parachute.

Once.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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