Laughter Advertisement Jokes for Everyone for Fun and Frivolity
Scientists and spiders.
There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'
So a man loses an arm and a leg in an accident...
And he's talking to a friend. The friend points out to him an advertisement for incredibly realistic prosthetic limbs.
"Oh boy, those seem great! I can't wait to buy them!" He says, and he goes off to get them. The next day, he's talking to his friend, but he's still missing his limbs! "What happened, I thought you were going to buy them!" His friend said, confused. "Oh, I did," He replied, "But they cost me an arm and a leg."
A One Line Advertisement By A Married Man
For Sale: Wedding Suit, Worn Only Once By Mistake
Don Draper and Meiosis get together for an advertisement meeting. They agree on one thing.
s**... Cells.
Best Halloween Party Ever
An advertisement for a Halloween party featuring
Zombie Japanese Chefs and street entertainers from the spirit world…
you would be treated to an evening of:
the Woking Dead and Ghost Buskers.
I was watching TV last night...
When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".
I was so excited when I saw the Nail Polish advertisement
Because I want to sleep with this girl from Poland
Slogan for a s**... Bank Advertisement
"You squeeze it, we freeze it!"
What's a b**...'s favorite form of advertisement?
A paw pup.
Wife Wanted
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds Wife Wanted .
The next day, he received hundreds of replies,
all reading: You can have mine
I saw a great job advertisement the other day.
It was written by a carpenter from Little Rock.
He only wrote one line, under 'special skills':
"Arkansas."
You can explore advertisement advertise reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean advertisement publicity dad jokes. There are also advertisement puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds Wife Wanted .
The next day, he received 1000 of replies,
all reading: You can have mine. Free delivery also available at your door step
Saw an advertisement for a free TV
It said "Volume stuck on high, free to first person who wants it."
I thought to myself "Man, I cant turn this down!"
I saw an advertisement today that read, Brand new television for sale, $1!"
However, there was just one catch, the volume is stuck on full.
I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.
If you watch a Spanish food advertisement,
does that make it a comer-cial?
Bad Advertisement
Apparently using the words "Never opened" is no good, when trying to sell a parachute..
What's your favorite type of advertisement?
Mine is adblocker.
The NRA showed Trump and Obama the newest NRA advertisement and asked what they thought. At the same time, Trump and Obama sternly said...
"Stick to your guns."
The only advertisement a pothead notices...
Are propa-g**....
I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest
So I entered my friend
Samsung next advertisement: "We don't slow down you phone"
I was offered $5,000 to sell my account to an advertisement firm
It was a tempting offer, but in the end I had to decline. My morals are strong and intentions are good, just like the wonderful people at Nestle.
Emperor Palpatine decides to endorse Mountain Dew and appears on an advertisement
DEW IT
Marvel should really use hulk more often for advertisement
After all he is just a giant banner
A group of elderly folks were watching television at the retirement home...
They were enjoying their show until it was time for a commercial break. Having nothing else to do, they stayed sitting and watched the commercials. Suddenly, one advertisement displayed attractive men and women in rubber bodysuits, latex clothing, and b**...-looking outfits. The elderly were aghast.
No one expected the Spandex intermission.
So I was browsing an Excel blog last night
and an advertisement for hot singles in your area who want to HLOOKUP popped up
A woman was just taking a bath when she heard the doorbell.
She thought she'd just pretend not to be home but then the ringer called, Hello? Anybody home? I'm the blind guy!
Ah well, if he is blind I can go and open the door just like this. No need to dress. thought the lady, hauled herself out of the bath and went to open the door.
Wow, said the guy waiting there, you should be on a fitness studio advertisement! Now, where should I put those blinds?
A woman was taking a bath when the doorbell rang
She thought she could just pretend like she isn't home, the person would leave and she could keep bathing. "Hello? Anybody home? I'm the blind guy"
She thought to herself "Well, if he's blind, then maybe I won't have to dress up. She got out of the bath, walked to the door and opened it.
"Wow!" Said the man. "You should be on a fitness studio advertisement! Now, where should I put those blinds?
It was a fantastic bargain, but I really should have read the advertisement more carefully
Because I'm not sure what to do with a Clarence.
What is going on with women today?
All these women, especially feminists, posting to social media pound me too (#metoo). Is this some kind of s**... advertisement that we haven't seen before?
A man finds a luxurious fur glove
Trying to reach its owner, he posts an advertisement.
Attention! If you have lost a fur glove...
can you please give me the other one too?
The enitre movie Hulk was basically just an advertisement.
It was just one big Banner.
The movie Hulk was just an advertisement.
It was just a giant Banner.
Marry now, pay later ...
Not sure if this an advertisement or a warning.
I keep hearing commercials on the radio for a company called Rug Doctor.
I'm wondering if it's an advertisement for a gynecologist.
What do you call a food advertisement wandering in the desert?
A Nom ad
I saw an Irishman while visiting Montreal.
When I asked what he was doing there he replied I saw an advertisement that said Drink Canada Dry so I thought I'd give it a go.
A man placed an advertisement, "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: You can have mine
Mercedes for Sale @ $1
Someone put up this advertisement.
No one believed it, but one old man responded and went to see the car.
The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 kms, for $1.
She handed him the papers and the Car keys. Deal done.
As the old man was leaving, he said "I would die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"
The Lady replied "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where all money receievd from sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary".
Mercedes for Sale @ $100
Mercedes for Sale @ $100
Someone put up this advertisement.
No one believed it could be true so no one responded, but an old man responded and went to see the car.
The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 Kms, for $100.
She handed him the papers and the car keys.
Deal done.
As the old man was leaving, he said, "I shall die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"
The Lady replied, "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where it's written that the money received from the sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary ..."
I keep seeing advertisements encouraging people to donate blood...
But every time I try to donate they have too many questions for me, like:
"Who's blood is this?!"
and
"Where did you get it?"
