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Advertisement Jokes

60 advertisement jokes and hilarious advertisement puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about advertisement that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Short advertisement jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The advertisement humour may include short promotion jokes also.

  1. Elon Musk has come up with a fool proof plan of destroying Apple because they refuse to advertise on Twitter. He plan to buy it.
  2. I don't know why Marvel hasn't tried to put advertisements on the Hulk He's essentially a giant banner
  3. Personally, i think that Tide pods are even better than advertised. I mean, anything that can clean your clothes and the gene pool in the same product...
  4. A man placed an advertisement, "Wife wanted". The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: You can have mine
  5. I don't understand why Marvel hasn't put any advertisements on the Hulk The guy is essentially a giant banner.
  6. How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest. Alien vs predator
  7. My brother asked if i could help him come up with a way to advertise the new vacation resort he was opening up. I said "Brochure."
  8. Your mom and a Volkswagon have something in common They're both 40 times dirtier than advertised.
  9. Apple is advertising the new iPhone as "The most powerful four inches ever." I can't believe they stole my slogan.
  10. My new toothpaste is false advertising It said, "Guaranteed whiteness in 14 days."
    Well, it's been 15 days and I'm still Asian.

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Which advertisement one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with advertisement? I can suggest the ones about promo and advertising.

  1. Why don't they put advertisements on the Hulk? He's basically a huge banner.
  2. I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest So I entered my friend
  3. Why doesn't Marvel advertise on Hulk? He is basically a giant banner.
  4. How do you advertise a French rifle? Never fired, dropped once.
  5. Marvel should use The Hulk to advertise movies. I mean basically he's just a big Banner.
  6. What's the most attention grabbing way to advertise a political candidate? Poll dancing
  7. Marvel should use the Hulk in more of its advertising. He's literally a giant Banner.
  8. If Whole Foods sells sliced apples, Is it false advertising?
  9. Why is the Hulk good at advertising? He's a huge Banner.
  10. Why isn't there a lot of advertising aimed at philosophers? It's a Nietzsche market
  11. What do you call a cow with no legs? A PETA advertising model.
  12. I work in digital advertising. I'm a hand model.
  13. Job Advertisment: Small black man for mudflap. Must be flexible and willing to travel.
  14. What's the best part of advertising for prostitutes? The product sells itself.
  15. How do you advertise a motor home? A trailer

Advertisement joke, How do you advertise a motor home?

What funny jokes about advertisement you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean commercial jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make advertisement pranks.

Jewish ad campaign

Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."

Goldberg opens a hardware store.

To advertise, he rents a billboard, puts up a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross, with the caption: They used Goldberg's nails.
His son, upon seeing this, exclaims to his father, You can't use that! It will cause antisemitism!"
So Goldberg exchanges it for a picture of Jesus's body laying on the ground, hands bloodied, with the caption: They didn't use Goldberg's nails.

A cut above the rest

Once upon a time a powerful emperor of the rising sun advertised for a new chief samurai. Three men applied, A Japanese samurai, A Chinese swordsman And a Jewish samurai. The three met with the emperor to see who would get the job. "Japanese Samurai Show me your skill", the Japanese samurai stepped forward and released a fly from a box and the Japanese samurai cut the fly in two. "very impressive" said the emperor. "Chinese Swordsman Show me your stuff", the Chinese man stepped forth and released a fly from its box and with two swings of his swords cut the fly neatly into Quarters. "A marvelous feat" the Chinese swordsman was pleased. "How are you going to top that Jewish samurai?" The Jewish Samurai stepped forth and released his fly from a box, and with a mighty blow swepped his sword through the air and the fly continued to fly about. "what kind of skill is that? the fly isn't dead" the emperor laughed. "dead is easy" the Jewish samurai replied "Circumcision... now that takes skill".

OCD

A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.

The zoo

A man was walking around town when he noticed a billboard advertising the new zoo in town. He'd been hearing all about it, and since he had nothing better to do that day, he decided to check it out. Much to the man's surprise, when he got there, the only animal there was a single dog. It was a Shitzu.

A pig that can speak French

A circus advertises a new act: a pig that can speak French. A trainer walks onto the stage carrying a small pig with a blue ribbon and a wooden mallet. The trainer asks, "Parlez-vous français?" and hits the pig with the mallet. The pig: "Ouiiii..."

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.
At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.
'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'
The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'
The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'
The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.
The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'
The spider didn't move.
'Move right'
Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

So a man loses an arm and a leg in an accident...

And he's talking to a friend. The friend points out to him an advertisement for incredibly realistic prosthetic limbs.
"Oh boy, those seem great! I can't wait to buy them!" He says, and he goes off to get them. The next day, he's talking to his friend, but he's still missing his limbs! "What happened, I thought you were going to buy them!" His friend said, confused. "Oh, I did," He replied, "But they cost me an arm and a leg."

Chemistry joke about dry ice.

There are two guys: Bob and Steve. Bob is carving "Drink Coke" into a block of dry ice. Steve asks "why are you carving drink coke into that block of dry ice?" Bob replies "I just heard about this thing called subliminal advertising and I thought I would give it a try."

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...

...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."

I was watching TV last night...

When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".

Today I was offered s**...

I was offered s**... today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.

A girl came to me today...

...and told me she will have s**... with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.

Today I was offered s**... by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the s**... I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents

An Irish Lumberjack

A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.

The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.

"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."

The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.

"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"

"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.

Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"

An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel

When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.
"What happened?" his friend asked.
"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."
"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"
"Nobody told me they read right to left!"

I went to see an e**... last night...

She advertised "a real girlfriend experience."
When I got there, she opened the door and said, "You're late. I bet you've been drinking at bar again."
We didn't speak for the rest of the night and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.

I was offered s**... from a 21 year old girl today

In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.

I'm not panicking yet about ISPs selling my browser history to advertising companies...

On the other hand, when they offer to sell my browsing history to my wife, that would be the appropriate time to panic!

I drove past a billboard promoting Niagara Falls as the tallest waterfall in the world...

Turns out it was falls advertising.

I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today.

I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

I cannot understanf why Marvel haven't put advertisements on the Hulk...

... He is essentially a giant banner

I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today…

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!

What do you call a Hobbit who works in advertising?

Billboard Baggins
(From my son (9) who just finished Fellowship of the Ring and is well on his way to being a dad with jokes like this).

Mercedes for Sale @ $1

Someone put up this advertisement.
No one believed it, but one old man responded and went to see the car.
The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 kms, for $1.
She handed him the papers and the Car keys. Deal done.
As the old man was leaving, he said "I would die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"
The Lady replied "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where all money receievd from sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary".

Mercedes for Sale @ $100

Mercedes for Sale @ $100
Someone put up this advertisement.
No one believed it could be true so no one responded, but an old man responded and went to see the car.
The Lady actually sold him a Mercedes, which had done just 12,000 Kms, for $100.
She handed him the papers and the car keys.
Deal done.
As the old man was leaving, he said, "I shall die of suspense if you don't tell me why this car was sold so cheap?"
The Lady replied, "I am just fulfilling the will of my deceased husband, where it's written that the money received from the sale of his Mercedes would go to his Secretary ..."

I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.

[OC] In my day we used to use subliminal advertising to sell candy.

And, buy gum, it worked!

Banana

A shopkeeper puts up a sign advertising a deal on bananas: one banana for $3 or three bananas for $10.
A man takes a look at the sign and notices that the bundle is a bad deal, so he decides to order one banana, then another banana, then one more, saving $1. Feeling smug, he asks the shopkeeper why she would have the three pack cost more. "Aren't you losing money?" He asked.
The shopkeeper responds, "you just paid $9 for three bananas, didn't you?"

Lodger: "But you advertised that one could see for miles from this room!"

Landlady: "Well, so you can. You can see the moon through the skylight, and ain't that miles away?

If a product has an advertisement, it means you don't need it.

No-one ever has to go to sleep, breathe, love people.

Advertisement joke, If a product has an advertisement, it means you don't need it.

jokes about advertisement