Advertisement Jokes

Following is our collection of advertise humor and employ one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Advertisement puns for adults, dirty publicity jokes or clean infomercial gags for kids.

There is an abundance of merchandise jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 41 funniest jokes on advertisement. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any ads witze you can hear about advertisement.

The Best jokes about Advertisement

I recently saw an advertisement for a double entendre contest

So I entered my friend

Scientists and spiders.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let everyone know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.

'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'

The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.
'Spider, walk left'

The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.
'Spider, move right.'

The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.

The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.
'Move left'

The spider didn't move.
'Move right'

Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.
'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'

So a man loses an arm and a leg in an accident...

And he's talking to a friend. The friend points out to him an advertisement for incredibly realistic prosthetic limbs.
"Oh boy, those seem great! I can't wait to buy them!" He says, and he goes off to get them. The next day, he's talking to his friend, but he's still missing his limbs! "What happened, I thought you were going to buy them!" His friend said, confused. "Oh, I did," He replied, "But they cost me an arm and a leg."

I was watching TV last night...

When an advertisement came on showing one of those African babies covered in flies.I immediately ran for the phone and rang the number that came up on the screen.
"I want one of those", I said,"they work much better than those sticky strips I hang from my ceiling".

My dad's favourite joke. Mine too.

There was a scientist working away in obscurity for years with peculiar experiments on spiders. After years and years he placed an advertisement in several academic journals to let the community know he and was to host a live show to demonstrate his findings.

At the event hundreds were there more out of curiosity than anything as the details of the findings were kept secret. The man himself wandered on stage and silenced the murmurs.

'Today I will demonstrate two things. The first being that spiders can understand and respond to basic commands.'

The crowd laughed and jeered but undeterred he opened a box on his desk and a spider crawled out.

'Spider, walk left'

The spider moved to its left. The crowd was silenced.

'Spider, move right.'

The spider moved right. The crowd gasped. Forward, backward, the spider responded again and again. The crowd applauded in awe.

The scientist then removed all of the spider's legs. The crowd, confused by this, watched in silence.

'Move left'

The spider didn't move.

'Move right'

Nothing. Forward, backward, no response.

'This is to demonstrate my second finding. Once you remove a spider's legs, it goes deaf.'


A young man goes into the Job Center in Downtown Los Angeles, and sees an advertisement for a Gynecologist's Assistant.

Interested, he goes to learn more. 'Can you give me some more details?' he asks the clerk.
The clerk pulls up the file and says, 'The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the gynecologist's examination.
There's an annual salary of $85,000, but you're going to have to go to Albuquerque New Mexico. That's about 620 miles from here.'
'Good grief, is that where the job is?'
'No sir... that's where the end of the line is right now...

I was offered $5,000 to sell my account to an advertisement firm

It was a tempting offer, but in the end I had to decline. My morals are strong and intentions are good, just like the wonderful people at Nestle.

A One Line Advertisement By A Married Man

For Sale: Wedding Suit, Worn Only Once By Mistake

A group of elderly folks were watching television at the retirement home...

They were enjoying their show until it was time for a commercial break. Having nothing else to do, they stayed sitting and watched the commercials. Suddenly, one advertisement displayed attractive men and women in rubber bodysuits, latex clothing, and BDSM-looking outfits. The elderly were aghast.

No one expected the Spandex intermission.

Marvel should really use hulk more often for advertisement

After all he is just a giant banner

Variations of a nail joke. (Heard at a Ren Faire, modified)

The Goldman Nails company is trying to bolster business. They start a contest to create an advertisement for the business. The first submission is from an older lady.

It starts with a man with a beard in a white robe hammering away at wood. The shot pulls back to reveal an massive wooden ship and the figure turns and says "I'm Noah and I use Goldman Nails."

The second submission is from an elderly gentleman. It opens with a king sitting surrounded by men working on a great temple. The king says "I am king Solomon and all of my men wisely use Goldman Nails."

The last submission was by little Johnny. It opens on a desert. A man runs across the screen. He has a crown of thorns on this head and blood is coming out of his side. It is clearly Jesus. He runs off and two Roman Centurions run into focus. They look at each other; winded, one says to the other "We should have used Goldman's nails"


Don Draper and Meiosis get together for an advertisement meeting. They agree on one thing.

Sex Cells.

Woman in a Bath

A woman is laying in her bath, taking her mid-day break. She was relaxing when she heard her doorbell ring. The woman was about to pretend she wasn't there when she heard: "Hey! Anybody home? I'm the blind guy".

"Oh!" she thought. "If he's a blind guy then theres no need to get all dressed then!". She exited the bath and went over to the door to ask what the blind guy wanted.

Wow, said the guy waiting there, you should be on a fitness studio advertisement! Now, where should I put these blinds?

A woman was just taking a bath when she heard the doorbell.

She thought she'd just pretend not to be home but then the ringer called, Hello? Anybody home? I'm the blind guy!

Ah well, if he is blind I can go and open the door just like this. No need to dress. thought the lady, hauled herself out of the bath and went to open the door.

Wow, said the guy waiting there, you should be on a fitness studio advertisement! Now, where should I put those blinds?

Slogan for a Sperm Bank Advertisement

"You squeeze it, we freeze it!"

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds Wife Wanted .

The next day, he received 1000 of replies,
all reading: You can have mine. Free delivery also available at your door step

Wife Wanted

A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds Wife Wanted .
The next day, he received hundreds of replies,
all reading: You can have mine

So I was browsing an Excel blog last night

and an advertisement for hot singles in your area who want to HLOOKUP popped up

Newspaper personal advertisement section:

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good looking girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your pickup truck, hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me. Will lick you all over. Call (xxx) xxx-xxxx and ask for Daisy.





*Over the week over 1,500 men from all over the country called for Daisy the Black Labrador Retriever.*


Emperor Palpatine decides to endorse Mountain Dew and appears on an advertisement

DEW IT

Saw an advertisement for a free TV

It said "Volume stuck on high, free to first person who wants it."

I thought to myself "Man, I cant turn this down!"

A man and his memories

A man was going on vacation for the first time in 20 years. He is very grumpy becuase he has not been off of work in a long time. So he is driving down the highway, and he sees an advertisement for a free chance to meet an Indian man who claims that he can tell you one of your most distant memories. He doesnt beleive it and continues driving. Soon, he pulls over for gas, and as he fills up, he sees the tee-pee that the old Indian man was living in. He figures since he has already stopped, he should go over and check it out. He walks over and enters. Without so much as a simple "Hello", he blurts out "What did I have for breakfast 20 years ago?" The Indian folds his arms and concentrates. After a few seconds, he shouts out "EGGS!" The grumpy man snorts and says, "how would you know what I ate for breakfast 20 years ago?!" and storms out laughing.

10 years past, and the man is driving down the same highway going on another vacation. He sees the old tee-pee and pulls over. He thought to himself "I was pretty mean to the guy all those years ago, maybe I will go and apologize" He also figures he will try some of the Indians' native language. He knows that this particular language has "Hi" being said "How". So he walks in and aproaches the old Indian man saying "How" The Indian man folds his arms and thinks. Confused, the other man just stands there and waits for him to say hi back. After a few seconds, the old Indian yells out "SCRAMBLED!"

A woman looking for a new man

There was a woman who had a husband that beat her up and then ran away. So she put out an advertisement that she was looking for a man that won't beat her up, won't run away and who is good in bed. About a week later someone rings her doorbell. When she opens the door the man says
"I saw your ad and I think I'm the guy for you. I have no arms so I can't beat you up and I have no legs so I can't run away"
"What makes you think you're good in bed?" Asks the woman.
The man smiles and replies
"I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

A woman was taking a bath when the doorbell rang

She thought she could just pretend like she isn't home, the person would leave and she could keep bathing. "Hello? Anybody home? I'm the blind guy"

She thought to herself "Well, if he's blind, then maybe I won't have to dress up. She got out of the bath, walked to the door and opened it.

"Wow!" Said the man. "You should be on a fitness studio advertisement! Now, where should I put those blinds?

Sex with a nun

A man traveling through a city, sees a large sign, it reads: **Sex with a Nun, only 500 €**

Interested he follows the directions on the sign and comes to a church, with a sign directing him to the rectory.

He knocks on the door and sure enough a young attractive nun opens the door.

"I saw the advertisement, is this the right place?"

"Yes, it is. 500€. Payment upfront"

He hands her the money, and she tells him to go around back.

As he turns the corner he encounters another sign:

**You just got screwed by Sister Eunice**

What do you call a food advertisement wandering in the desert?

A Nom ad

I saw an advertisement today that read, Brand new television for sale, $1!"

However, there was just one catch, the volume is stuck on full.

I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.

I saw a great job advertisement the other day.

It was written by a carpenter from Little Rock.

He only wrote one line, under 'special skills':

"Arkansas."

What's a bitch's favorite form of advertisement?

A paw pup.

What's your favorite type of advertisement?

Mine is adblocker.

The only advertisement a pothead notices...

Are propa-ganja.

Best Halloween Party Ever

An advertisement for a Halloween party featuring
Zombie Japanese Chefs and street entertainers from the spirit world…
you would be treated to an evening of:
the Woking Dead and Ghost Buskers.

Bad Advertisement

Apparently using the words "Never opened" is no good, when trying to sell a parachute..

I keep hearing commercials on the radio for a company called Rug Doctor.

I'm wondering if it's an advertisement for a gynecologist.

The NRA showed Trump and Obama the newest NRA advertisement and asked what they thought. At the same time, Trump and Obama sternly said...

"Stick to your guns."

It was a fantastic bargain, but I really should have read the advertisement more carefully

Because I'm not sure what to do with a Clarence.

What is going on with women today?

All these women, especially feminists, posting to social media pound me too (#metoo). Is this some kind of sexual advertisement that we haven't seen before?

The movie Hulk was just an advertisement.

It was just a giant Banner.

Marry now, pay later ...

Not sure if this an advertisement or a warning.

The enitre movie Hulk was basically just an advertisement.

It was just one big Banner.

A man finds a luxurious fur glove

Trying to reach its owner, he posts an advertisement.

Attention! If you have lost a fur glove...



can you please give me the other one too?

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes