Silly & Ridiculous Advertise Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
Goldberg opens a hardware store.
To advertise, he rents a billboard, puts up a picture of Jesus nailed to the cross, with the caption: They used Goldberg's nails.
His son, upon seeing this, exclaims to his father, You can't use that! It will cause antisemitism!"
So Goldberg exchanges it for a picture of Jesus's body laying on the ground, hands bloodied, with the caption: They didn't use Goldberg's nails.
My uncle has a factory that make "For Sale" signs.
I asked him how companies like that advertise because I've never seen ads any for that sort of business and he replied:
"They essentially sell themselves."
How do you advertise a motor home?
A trailer
How did the inventor of the car advertise his new "horse-less carriage"?
He said it goes without a hitch!
As advertised
I opened a can of evaporated milk today. It was empty.
How do you advertise a French rifle?
Never fired, dropped once.
Today I was offered sex
I was offered sex today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.
A girl came to me today...
...and told me she will have sex with me if I advertise some random liquid detergent. Of course I said no, after all I'm a powerful man with high standards. As powerful as the new Ajax detergent, which offers a unique freshness, activated on air contact.
Today I was offered sex by an 18 year old female...
Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the sex I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents
How do you advertise a boxing match between a Hispanic construction worker, and a Catholic priest.
Alien vs predator
What's the best way for a prostitute to advertise?
Word of mouth.
You can explore advertise replacements reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean advertise advertisement dad jokes. There are also advertise puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Saw an advertisement for a free TV
It said "Volume stuck on high, free to first person who wants it."
I thought to myself "Man, I cant turn this down!"
I saw an advertisement today that read, Brand new television for sale, $1!"
However, there was just one catch, the volume is stuck on full.
I thought to myself, I can't turn that down.
An advertiser for coke is dispatched to Israel
When he comes back, his friend asks him how it went. He replies that it did not go well.
"What happened?" his friend asked.
"Well, since I didn't know hebrew, I decided to convey the ad through a comic. The first panel showed a guy in a desert, dying of thirst. The secone panel showed him drinking coke. And the third panel showed him completely rejuvenated."
"That sounds great! Why didn't it work?"
"Nobody told me they read right to left!"
I was offered sex from a 21 year old girl today
In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.
I'm always annoyed when I see adverts for Dailysex classes on the subway...
...why can't they advertise helpful classes, maybe something that would help me with my dyslexia
The only advertisement a pothead notices...
Are propa-ganja.
Free Sex
So this girl came up to me and she said she would have sex with me and all I had to do was advertise some cleaner, but I didn't, because my will is strong, just as strong as Lysol cleaner with bleach. Perfect for killing bacteria in the kitchen, bathroom, and all over the house.
Steve Wozniak should open a mountaintop zoo
just so he could advertise "Go up to the Woz Zoo."
What do Subway and I have in common?
We both advertise a healthy foot long, but it's really only 7 - 8 at most
For which car manufacturer does Matisyahu advertise?
Hyundai, Hyundai, Hyundai...
Why doesn't Marvel advertise on Hulk?
He is basically a giant banner.
I was offered sex by a 22-year old woman in exchange that I'd advertise some detergent powder for her
Of course I said no because of my strong will power. Which is just as strong as Vanish. The super strong detergent powder now 20% off and available in scented vanilla or lemon.
My brother asked if i could help him come up with a way to advertise the new vacation resort he was opening up.
I said "Brochure."
Wendy's used to advertise that there was 256 possible ways to order a burger.
That's not very impressive. That's only a byte size of choices.
If you advertise your big new TV by putting the box out in the trash, I'm gonna steal it.
My cardboard fort only needs a few more pieces.
A bank tried to advertise its new current accounts
Unfortunately, there was no interest.
I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today.
I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.ο»Ώ
How has there not been a class action lawsuit against the major diaper companies?
Those things have never held the 22-37 pounds they advertise.
I was offered sex with a 21 year old girl todayβ¦
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!
Why don't we advertise on the back of boxer shorts in the heights?
Cause no one thinks you look cool.
What's the most attention grabbing way to advertise a political candidate?
Poll dancing
I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.
I advertised a python for sale in the paper
a man rang up and said What size is it?
I replied It's quite big
How many feet? he asked,
None, it's a snake...
Marvel should use The Hulk to advertise movies.
I mean basically he's just a big Banner.
I keep seeing advertisements encouraging people to donate blood...
But every time I try to donate they have too many questions for me, like:
"Who's blood is this?!"
and
"Where did you get it?"
Elon Musk has come up with a fool proof plan of destroying Apple because they refuse to advertise on Twitter.
He plans to buy it.
