The Best 38 Adultery Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Adultery jokes. There are some adultery infidelity jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these adultery marital puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Adultery Jokes and Puns

An angel goes to give humanity the Commandments.

The angel goes to the French and says, "Excuse me. I have some Commandments. Would you like them?" The French ask for an example and the angel replies, "Thou shall not commit adultery." The French tell the angel they aren't interested.

The angel goes to the Germans and says, "Excuse me. I have some Commandments. Would you like them?" The Germans ask for an example and the angel replies, "Thou shalt not kill." The Germans tell the angel they aren't interested.

The angel goes to the Italians and says, "Excuse me. I have some Commandments. Would you like them?" The Italians ask for an example and the angel replies, "Thou shall not steal." The Italians tell the angel they aren't interested.

Desperate, the angel goes to the Jews and says, "Please. I'm trying to get rid of these Commandments. Would you like them?" The Jews ask how much they are and the angel replies, "Absolutely free!" to which the Jews reply "We'll take 10!"

My father always taught me that in adultery there are no winners

but participation is more important than winning

What's the difference between a Western girl and an Arab girl?

The Western girl gets stoned **before** she commits adultery.


A man walks into a confessional and sits down,
"Father, last night I was with 3 different women at the same time."
"That's horrible," says the priest. "Are you married? Does your wife know about this adultery?"
"Married? No. Actually, I'm not even Catholic, I just had to tell someone!"

What's the difference between American girls and Middle Eastern girls?

American girls get stoned BEFORE they commit adultery.

What's the difference between a Muslim woman and an American one?

An American woman gets stoned *before* she commits adultery.

Moses comes down from the mountaint

β€” Okay, guys, I have the commandments. I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?

β€” The good news.

β€” I've managed to bring it down to ten.

β€” What's the bad news?

β€” I've had to leave adultery in.

Adultery joke, Moses comes down from the mountaint

What's shadier than a young tree?


*Ba-dum tss*


n old man went into confession and told the priest: Father,I'm 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls.Twice.
I see, said the priest. When was the last time you were in confession?
Never,Father , replied the old man. I'm Jewish
So why are you telling me?
I'm telling everybody!

Where can you find information about raisins that commit adultery?

Currant Affairs

Do infants enjoy infantry...

as much as adults enjoy adultery?

You can explore adultery extramarital reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adultery sinner dad jokes. There are also adultery puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Do infants have as much fun in infancy

as adults do in adultery?

An 80 year old man walks into a confessional booth

He tells the priest that he just had a threesome with two 20 year old girls. Father said "I'm glad you confessed, adultery is a sin, and your penance is to say five Hail Maries." The 80 year old replied, "I've never said the Hail Mary, I'm Jewish."

The good father asked, "Then why did you come here to tell me this?"

"I'm 80 years old and just had a threesome," he replied. "I'm telling everyone"

Cast the first stone...

Jesus saw a crowd chasing down a woman to stone her and approached them. "What's going on here, anyway?" he asked.

"This woman was found committing adultery and the law says we should stone her!" one of the crowd responded.

"Wait," yelled Jesus, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

Suddenly, a stone was thrown from out of the sky, and knocked the woman on the side of her head.

"Aw, c'mon, Dad...," Jesus cried, "I'm trying to make a point here!"

If adults consent to adultery

Then infants should sign up for infantry.

A preacher gives a sermon on the 10 Commandments ...

hoping that when he got to "Thou Shall Not Steal" whoever stole his bike would confess.

No one confessed.

But when he got to the part about "Thou shall not commit adultery" he remembered where he left his bike.

Adultery joke, A preacher gives a sermon on the 10 Commandments ...

Q: What is the difference between a Protestant woman and a Muslim woman?

A: Protestant woman gets stoned before they commit adultery.

adults make better fighters than infants

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

What's an anime with adultery?

Cory in the Spouse

Arkansas ranks highly among other states in terms of depression and adultery

It's a sad state of affairs.

What the rednecks consider to be adultery?

Someone else to beat your wife.

Why did Roy Moore go for underage girls?

He didn't want to commit *adult*ery.

An old woman falls asleep in church

The priest asks, "How many of you commit adultery? Those who do, stand up." Just then the old lady wakes up and asks her son-in-law, "What did he say?" The son-in-law wants to play a prank and answers "Those who take Tic Tacs have to stand up." The woman, who takes the pills by boxes, stands up. Everyone gasps, and the priest asks, "How could you, at your age?"

"Just because I've got no teeth doesn't mean I can't suck 'em!"

What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?

He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Probably not.

Meaning of Adultery

Adultery: what happens when you don't keep up your landscaping around the yard.

Adultery joke, Meaning of Adultery

I tell my girlfriend I'm cheating on her.

She asks "Are you kidding me?!" And I reply "No, that's why it's called adultery."

What's a priest's favorite non-bible verse?

It's not adultery if they're not adults

Adultery is a sin...

You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

What did the constipated fish do after commiting adultery?

She made a bass-turd.

Everything was simple when we were young - it was literally childsplay.

Then we grew up, and moved on to adultery.

In adultery there are no winners

But taking part is more important than winning

Moses reaches the bottom of Mt. Sinai, gathers the people together, and says, "Alright everyone, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I got him down to 10."

"The bad news is adultery stays."

A little old lady is late for work

And settles into a pew at the back just as the priest is saying "And anyone who has recently committed adultery should stand up." Being somewhat hard of hearing, she asks the boy next to her to repeat what the priest just said. "He asked everyone who wants a mint to stand up." The boy replied mischievously.

The old lady unsteadily gets to her feet, much to the priest's horror. "At your age?" He exclaims, "You should be ashamed!" The old lady swiftly retorts "Just because I don't have any teeth left doesn't mean I can't suck on something from time to time!"

Jesus and the woman taken in adultery

The crowd is about to stone her, but Jesus steps in front of them and says "Verily, the one who is among you that is without sin may cast the first stone!"

All of them let their hand sink, bow their heads in shame. There suddenly, from the back, a stone comes flying, hitting the woman squarely in the face. Furiously, Jesus storms through the crowd to see who dared to, who thinks himself to be without sin. He finds the thrower, grimaces and stomps his feet.

"Stop doing this! You always do that, always you have to embarrass me in front of my friends, MOM!"

Moses comes back down from the mountain

Got good and bad news, folks. The good news: I got him down to 10. The bad news: Adultery is still on the list.

A pastor discovered his bicycle had been stolen

He decided to use it as inspiration for that week's sermon, and began writing on the Ten Commandments, especially thou shalt not steal

Then he got to thou shalt not commit adultery and remembered where he left his bike.

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:

You cannot post "Thou shalt not steal," "Thou shalt not commit adultery," and "Thou shalt not lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. It creates a hostile work environment.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the adultery infants jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working adultery premarital piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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