Little bastards didn't stand a chance…
If you're forced to have it as a child you won't enjoy it as an adult.
-Daniel Tosh
Cashier: that's a Fire Extinguisher you whore"
when do I get my adult supervision?
Little Jimmy is in the car with his mother and shes driving down the highway.
A truck in front of them contains adult sex toys.
All of a sudden a large black dildo falls off the truck and hits the windscreen of the car.
"What was that mummy" says Jimmy,
"Oh... it was a fly" replies the mother, slightly embarrased,
"Jesus!" says Jimmy, "Did you see the size of the cock on him!"
If you were forced to try it as a kid, you probably don't like it as an adult.
An adult with an imaginary friend is strange,
And a group of people with an imaginary friend is called religion.
If you're forced to have it as a kid, yo won't enjoy it as an adult.
So the man walks into the confession booth for the first time in his adult life, having nothing but bad memories about it from when he was a child.
So he opens the door, sits down and notices a couple of playboy nude calenders on the wall, a bottle of whiskey in the corner and a nice box of cigars next to it, and he thinks to himself "Wow, this place has really improved over the years"
But then the Father opens the door and yells "Get out! that's my booth!"
If you were forced to have it as a child you're gonna hate it as an adult.
I can't really blame him though ; I wasn't born until he was an adult.
Finally, it can be tried as an adult.
If you have a bad experience with it as a child you probably won't enjoy it as an adult.
Guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.
Guy behind the counter says , 'Male or female?'
Customer says , 'Female.'
Counter guy asks , 'Black or white?
Customer says , 'White.'
Counter guy asks , 'Christian or Muslim?'
Customer says , 'What the hell does religion have to do with it?'
Counter guy says , 'The Muslim one blows itself up.'
He: "Lady, you must take that animal directly to the zoo!"
She: "I will do that right away, officer."
The next day, the officer is exasperated to see her and the lion walking down the sidewalk again.
He: "I told you to get that animal to the zoo!"
She: "That was yesterday. Today we are going to the beach."
If your forced to have it as a kid, you won't enjoy it as a adult.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you're probably not going to enjoy it as an adult.
A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll.
The guy behind the counter says, Male or female?
The customer says, Female
The counter guy asks, Black or white?
The customer says, White
The counter guy asks, Christian or Muslim?
The customer says, What the hell does religion have to do with it?
The counter guy says, The Muslim one blows itself up!
The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?"The customer says, "Female"The counter guy asks, "Black or white?"The customer says, "White"The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?"The customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?"The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!"
If you were forced to have it as a kid, you probably won't like it as an adult.
So as an adult, I had to step in.
They didn't stand a chance.
You'll hate it as an adult if you were forced to have it as a kid.
Going to the toy store with your mother as an adult is weird.
I don't get it though.
I'm an adult.
She's an adult.
The sign says 'Adult Toy Store'
Fucking double standards.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you're not going to like it as an adult.
They did not stand a chance.
Now I have two adult knees
Like, "It's time for a spanking." "You've been a bad girl." Or "Come over here and suck daddy's dick."
No one ever told me life was gonna be this way.
Now that I'm an adult, I'm making far more advanced and complex mistakes.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you won't enjoy it as an adult - Daniel Tosh
After a brief wait, the concerned father brings his son into the examination room, pulls down his pants, points at the kids wiener, and exclaims "DOCTOR!!! IS IT NORMAL FOR A 3 YEAR OLD TO HAVE A FULLY DEVELOPED ADULT SIZED PENIS?!?!?"
The doctor looks down at it and says "It's only an inch and a half!
The first chemist, who had a major disagreement with the second and knows the second chemist only drink water, says to the bartender, "I'll take some H2O."
The second chemist automatically responds, "I'll take some H2O too."
The bartender shrugs then turns around and promptly gives the first chemist his glass of water, and the second chemist a glass of water too... because the bartender is an adult and can infer meaning from contextual clues.
when will I get my adult supervision?
Two of them grow into adult knees.
Because that means 75% are running around untreated.
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