Adul Jokes

Following is our collection of jokes humor and priest one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Adul puns for adults, dirty extramarital jokes or clean open gags for kids.

There is an abundance of adult jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 35 funniest jokes on adul. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any finds witze you can hear about adul.

The Best jokes about Adul

I didn't know that when I became an adult everyone would make FRIENDS references...

No one ever told me life was gonna be this way.

25% of all adult women are currently on medication for mental illness which is quite scary....

Because that means 75% are running around untreated.

Adult book store

Three guys are arrested in an adult book store and appear before the judge. He asks the first guy to stand:
"What is your name?" he asked.
"George," the guy answered.
"And why were you arrested?" the judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke," he answered.
The judge didn't see anything wrong with that, so he dismissed the guy and called up the next one.
"What's your name?" he asked.
"George," the guy answered.
"Why were you arrested?" the Judge asked.
"I was by the magazine rack holding a big fat cigar and blowing smoke," he answered.
Again, the judge saw nothing offensive, 'This so-called adult store is begining to sound more like a smoking club!' he thought. So he dismissed the charge and called up the next guy.
"What's your name?? No wait, let me guess; George," he said.
"No," said the guy, "My name is Smoke."

What's an adult actress' favourite drink?

7-Up in Cider.

I went to an adult website and searched for good Christian content.

Turns out it was all missionaries.


Now that I'm an adult, there are things I can appreciate a whole lot more than when I was a child...

Things like wearing diapers and spankings...

I'm an adult who likes puns...

I guess you could say I'm a groan-up.

Being an adult is

basically trying to avoid people who have seen you naked, while trying to find new people to see you naked.

adults make better fighters than infants

yet more battles are won by infantry than adultery

Adults used to tell me that if I went into the inner city, I could get robbed by a drug dealer...

I finally understand now, $5 for a cup of coffee is ridiculous

adult jokes

Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mom responded, "Maria, they just wanted to see your panties!" Maria replied, "See Mom, I was smart, I took them off!"


Did you know that only 1 in 4 US Adults with children have a Will?

The rest gave them some other names, I assume.

What is an adulterers favorite snack?

Cheetos.

"Most adults are hiding at least one dark secret!!!"

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.

Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

Adultery

n old man went into confession and told the priest: Father,I'm 81 married with six children and 13 grandchildren. Last night i had an affair and made love to two 18-year-old girls.Twice.
I see, said the priest. When was the last time you were in confession?
Never,Father , replied the old man. I'm Jewish
So why are you telling me?
I'm telling everybody!

Adulthood is like looking both ways before crossing the street

And then getting hit by an airplane.

Now that I'm an adult, I've decided that I'm too old to be having a one night stand

So I went to Ikea and got another one.

If you adults are so mature then stop making school shooting jokes.

They're directed at a younger audiance

(PLS don't get offended)

Why do adults like Legos so much, when they grow old?

They can't lego of their childhood.

Tell some more Lego puns, here!


ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

Being an adult, I now realize how wise and correct my father really was...

I am worthless and will never amount to anything.

(adult) What's the max Top Speed a girl can have sex?

68mph.
Because any faster she'll flip over and blow a rod.

*Wonder how many "hi my name is rod" replies..

Why aren't adults afraid of the dark?

Because with the current price of electricity they are afraid of the light

I'm an adult, and am 5 feet 1 inches

Sounds bad, but made worse by the fact that they are two measurements.

I used to think that adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong.

It turns out, adulthood is multiple crises, concurrently.

Why do adults always ask kids what they want to be when they grow up?

They're looking for ideas.

They say 1 in 4 adults are abysmal at maths.

The other 2 are just bad.

As an adult I think I understand why Mr. Freeze got so upset when he had to put his wife, Nora, on Ice

After all no one likes cold Fries.

Adult grain: what do you want to be when you grow up?

Young grain: BEER!

AG: Ok, but remember to keep your feet on the ground

*years later*

Loaf of bread: I had dreams you know...

All the adults judged me because I jumped into the ball pit at the children's activity centre...

It's like they'd never seen a naked man before

Even as an adult, everytime I eat a Werther's candy, it reminds me of my grandmother

Tastes just like her

In adultery there are no winners

But taking part is more important than winning

Adultery is a sin...

You can't have your Kate and Edith too.

You're an adult, don't laugh at this

Uranus might be full of surprises

Only for adults

What's the similarity
between garden
and breast?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Both are made for kids
but mostly used
by adults...

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes