Adoptive Parents Jokes
39 adoptive parents jokes and hilarious adoptive parents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about adoptive parents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Adoptive Parents Short Jokes
Short adoptive parents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The adoptive parents humour may include short divorced parents jokes also.
- Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes. - I'm adopted and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me. But why everyday?
- A lesbian couple asked me if I would like to make them parents. I never thought adoption could be so exciting.
- I saw an adopted kid on the street I walk up to him and ask him "Are you adopted?"
He replies "Yes, I am what gave me away"
I responded "Your parents" - Did you hear the phrase one man's trash is another man's treasure? Was my favorite saying, until my parents said it to indicate I was adopted
- I asked my parents if I was adopted They said they tried, but they didn't have any takers.
- My parents didn't vaccinate their kids. Fortunately, I was adopted by them and it helped me to become their sole heir.
- When my parents told me i was adopted I asked mom dad why did you pick me was i special?
"Well yes honey out of all the children we had to choose from you where the only one that was white" - I adopted a goat the other day, but my mom said I'd have to get rid of it... I guess as long as I live with my parents, I'll have to make sacrifices.
- When you came into this world, your parents had a choice. They could keep you, or put you up for adoption.
The born ultimatum.
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Adoptive Parents One Liners
Which adoptive parents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with adoptive parents? I can suggest the ones about adopted kid and adoption.
- On my birthday my parents gave me... up for adoption
- How did the window know he was adopted? He had trans parents.
- How my Canadian parents told me I was adopted out of the USA. Sorry, not sorry.
- What do you call Chris Pratt's adoptive parents? Legal Guardians of the Galaxy
- Finally found the guts to say it to my parents, "Mom, dad... I'm adopted."
Happy Adoptive Parents Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about adoptive parents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean adopted jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make adoptive parents pranks.
A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant...
A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant with twin boys. She and her husband discuss the children on end, and they come to the decision that they would not be able to support them once they were born, so they put them up for adoption. One son gets sent to Mexico, the other to the Middle East, and while they would have loved to keep in contact with their sons, laws kept them from doing so. All they were allowed to know was that one boy was named Jamal, the other Juan.
So, the couple live out their lives, until one day, a letter comes in the mail from one of their sons. Juan has sent them a letter after tracking down his birth parents, and also included a photo of himself for the two to see. While the parents are delighted to have heard from one of their sons, the mother cant help but feel disappointed at the lack of a letter from the other, stating that she wishes she could have seen a photo of him as well, to which her husband replies, "honey, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."
Identical twins were put up for adoption and separated at birth...
...20 years later, their biological parents decided to find and meet them.
After many hours of research, they discovered that one child had been adopted by a middle-eastern family and had been named Amal Allamedan, while the other boy had been adopted by a family in Chile and had been named Juan Cerejo.
They set out to meet their son in Chile first. After meeting with him and having a wonderful time, the mother was ready to go meet her other son, but her husband disagreed.
When she asked why they couldn't go see him, he replied, "Well, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Parents Want to Adopt a Child...
so they head down to adoption agency. They say to the matron,
"We'd like to adopt a child please."
She responds, "Well, we only have one child left. And he's a head."
"What?"
"He has no arms or legs. He's really just a head, poor thing."
But the new parents decide they want him anyway. So they take him home, and he has a great childhood. He does well in school, learns to overcome his disability, and his parents support him.
Eventually, he turns 21 and his dad takes him out for his first drink. They head up the hill to the local bar and take a seat.
The dad says, "Two beers please."
The bartender gives them the drinks and the son enjoys his first beer. Then, p**...! Two arms pop out. Two drunks sitting over at a nearby table yell, "Give 'im another one! Give 'im another one!"
So he has another beer and p**...! Two legs pop out. Everyone celebrates, the son is dancing around and having a good time, when the drunks say, "Give 'im another one!"
The son has another beer and p**...! He disappears!
The two drunks look at each other and say, "He should have quit while he was a head."
Two identical twins separated at birth...
... And are put up for adoption. One of the twins gets adopted by a Mexican couple and is named Juan. The other twin gets adopted by an Egyptian family and is named Hamal.
Years later their biological mother and father receive a letter from both their children saying how through a bizarre series of coincidences they had found eachother and had tracked down their address. Enclosed was a picture of Juan smiling happily with his adoptive Mexican parents.
"Oh" the mother says to her husband. "he's so handsome! And seems so happy! I wish I knew what his brother looks like."
"Honey" said her husband "They're twins, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Hamal."
German Baby Joke I saw on QI
A British couple decided to adopt a German baby. They raised him for years, however they began to get worried because he never spoke, and they believed that he was mentally handicapped, going as far as to take him to therapy, which was fruitless.
Then, when the child was 8 years old, he had a Strudle, and said "It is a little tepid."
His parents, of course shocked that he was suddenly speaking, asked: "Wolfgang, why have you never spoken before?", to which the child replied:
"Up until now, everything had been satisfactory."
Identical Twins
A pair of identical twins is born and they are soon put up for adoption. One twin is adopted by a Spanish family, and given the name Juan. Another twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and he is named Amal.
Many years later, the biological parents decide that they would like to connect with their twins that were put up for adoption. Through the adoption agency, they contact the Spanish family and have a nice reunion with their son.
When the adoption agency asks the parents if they'd like to meet the other identical twin, the father says "No thanks. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One morning my gorgeous 18 year old sister came
into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted.
I was a good big brother. I put a comforting arm around her, and told her that it doesn't matter, that we'll always love her, and that I thought she was the most wonderful sister in the world. Then, I dunno how it happened, but we kissed, and soon things got really passionate - clothes came off, and... we had the most amazing s**....
Sadly, it didn't last. After I came, I found out the c**... had split. She started crying again, and I got the shakes. We went downstairs, hand in hand, to break the news to dad that his adopted daughter was probably pregnant.
I have never been less amused by the words "April Fools".
A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt...
They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan, and bring him back to America to live with them.
Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyways, they decide to adopt him.
The husband and wife are looking through the adoption papers for Amal a few days before seeing him, and the wife glances at a picture of him, and asks the husband if he would like to know what the boy looks like.
The husband shrugs and says: "Well, they are twin brothers, so I think I already know what he looks like. You know, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
Adoption.
A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,
"What's wrong?"
Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."
Son: "What is it?"
Mother: " You're adopted."
Son: "Well duh I knew that, tell me something I don't know."
Mother: " I'm not a woman."
A kid grew up his whole life thinking he was adopted.
Many times he would enter a room unexpectedly and his parents would be there and would quickly hide official looking papers and act suspiciously about the subject. He always considered asking but was always too nervous about it. He thought he'd be disappointed to hear the truth. One day he works up the courage to ask so he goes into his parents room where he finds his dad working on his computer. He asks him "Dad, am I adopted?" His dad looks shocked and replies with "Well son, truthfully, we've been working on getting that done your whole life but we haven't found anyone to take you yet."
A German baby was adopted by a wealthy couple
He grew into a happy, healthy boy, except for one thing: he never spoke.
After five years of silence, little Wolfgang's parents began to worry that he might have a disability. They took him to all the best pediatricians and speech therapists, but none could provide a solution.
One night after dinner, Wolfgang was served his dessert. Suddenly he cried out, "Mother! This strudel is a bit tepid!"
"Wolfgang!" his mother exclaimed, "You can speak! All these years, you've been silent. Why haven't you spoken to me before now?"
"Well," Wolfgang said, "Up until now, everything had been satisfactory."
Today, my parents dropped a bomb on me when they told me that they're gay...
...but I'm not half as surprised as they'll be when I tell them that I'm adopted.
Two new parents
Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, What ever possessed you to study Russian?
The couple said proudly, We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.
An American couple adopt a German infant...
He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.
Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.
Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.
Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?
Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.
A 12 year old boy comes home from school
He enters the home and his parents are sitting on the sofa together clutching hands.
Sit down son we have something to say says the dad
The boy sits down.
You're adopted the mother says.
The boy sighs and tears up and asks why didn't you say so before? I've always wondered
Good claps the father standing up swiftly. Get your bags packed, your new Parents will be here to pick you up in about an hour.
The german baby
A couple adopts a german baby, and eagerly wait for its first words. The baby turns one,...then two...and three...and nothing, the parents begin to worry, and have him examined by a doctor, but the doctor can find nothing wrong...another year goes by, and still nothing.
One day, when he's four, as they are sitting down to dinner, the kid says, 'This apple strudel is a bit tepid.' The parents are overjoyed that their son has finally spoken, and ask him, ' Wolfgang, after all these years you've finally said something! Why didnt you say anything earlier?'
The kid answers, ' Up till now, everything was satisfactory.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father has something to confess to his daughter
Dad: Daughter i need to tell you something
Daughter: yeah dad, what's up?
Dad: you were adopted
Daughter: o**..., no way, then i want to meet my biological parents!
Dad: Oh yeah, don't worry, that's us! and you already know us, your new parents are coming to pick you up tomorrow.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My parents told me I was adopted.
You mean you're not my real parents?! My dad said, 'we are, you've been adopted, get your s**... together, they're picking you up in an hour'.
Little Timmy is called by his parents.
Father: "There's no easy way to tell you this: you have been adopted."
Timmy: "Whoa! Am I going to meet my real parents now?"
Father: "We ARE your real parents. And now go pack your bags. You're going to be picked up in 30 minutes."