Adoptive Parents Jokes

53 adoptive parents jokes and hilarious adoptive parents puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about adoptive parents that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Adoptive Parents Short Jokes

Short adoptive parents jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The adoptive parents humour may include short divorced parents jokes also.

  1. Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
    Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.
  2. Son, you're adopted "I Knew it! I want to meet my biological parents."
    "We are your biological parents, your adoptive parents will come for you tomorrow."
  3. Father: Son you were adopted Son: I knew it I want to meet my real parents
    Father: We are your real parents your new ones are coming in 20 minutes
  4. "Son, you were adopted." "I was?" the son asked.
    "Yes." his parents replied. "And they're coming to pick you up any minute now so go pack your bags."
  5. Son, you are adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! Where are my real parents, I want to meet my real parents!
    Dad: Oh, no no. We are your real parents! The new ones will arrive in 20 minutes.
  6. I'm adopted and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me. But why everyday?
  7. Asked my parents if I was adopted... They laughed and said "Of course not, why would we have chosen you?"
  8. I asked my parents am I adopted They answered, "Of course no, why do you think we would choose you?"
  9. Son, you're adopted Son: Whoa, I wonder who my real parents are.
    Parent: We are your real parents, your NEW parents are on the way.
  10. A father tells his son that he is adopted The boy starts crying and screams, "I wanna meet my real parents"
    Father says, "We are your real parents. Now pack your bags, they are waiting outside."

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Adoptive Parents One Liners

Which adoptive parents one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with adoptive parents? I can suggest the ones about adopted kid and adoption.

  1. On my birthday my parents gave me... up for adoption
  2. How did the window know he was adopted? He had trans parents.
  3. I'm glad my parents told me I'm adopted But I don't know why they tell me everday.
  4. How my Canadian parents told me I was adopted out of the USA. Sorry, not sorry.
  5. What do you call Chris Pratt's adoptive parents? Legal Guardians of the Galaxy
  6. Finally found the guts to say it to my parents, "Mom, dad... I'm adopted."

Happy Adoptive Parents Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about adoptive parents you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean divorce parents jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make adoptive parents pranks.

A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant...

A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant with twin boys. She and her husband discuss the children on end, and they come to the decision that they would not be able to support them once they were born, so they put them up for adoption. One son gets sent to Mexico, the other to the Middle East, and while they would have loved to keep in contact with their sons, laws kept them from doing so. All they were allowed to know was that one boy was named Jamal, the other Juan.
So, the couple live out their lives, until one day, a letter comes in the mail from one of their sons. Juan has sent them a letter after tracking down his birth parents, and also included a photo of himself for the two to see. While the parents are delighted to have heard from one of their sons, the mother cant help but feel disappointed at the lack of a letter from the other, stating that she wishes she could have seen a photo of him as well, to which her husband replies, "honey, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

Two Parents Want to Adopt a Child...

so they head down to adoption agency. They say to the matron,
"We'd like to adopt a child please."
She responds, "Well, we only have one child left. And he's a head."
"He has no arms or legs. He's really just a head, poor thing."
But the new parents decide they want him anyway. So they take him home, and he has a great childhood. He does well in school, learns to overcome his disability, and his parents support him.
Eventually, he turns 21 and his dad takes him out for his first drink. They head up the hill to the local bar and take a seat.
The dad says, "Two beers please."
The bartender gives them the drinks and the son enjoys his first beer. Then, p**...! Two arms pop out. Two drunks sitting over at a nearby table yell, "Give 'im another one! Give 'im another one!"
So he has another beer and p**...! Two legs pop out. Everyone celebrates, the son is dancing around and having a good time, when the drunks say, "Give 'im another one!"
The son has another beer and p**...! He disappears!
The two drunks look at each other and say, "He should have quit while he was a head."

A young couple adopt a German baby.

A young couple adopt a German baby. He was perfectly normal except for the fact he never spoke, not even a word.
One day aged five while the family were having dessert he suddenly says, "This strudel is tepid."
His parents are completely amazed. "Hans you can talk! Why haven't you spoken before now?"
The boy turned to the parents and slowly replies, "Until now, everything has been satisfactory."

One morning my gorgeous 18 year old sister came

into my room crying. Dad had finally told her that her real parents were unknown - she was adopted.
I was a good big brother. I put a comforting arm around her, and told her that it doesn't matter, that we'll always love her, and that I thought she was the most wonderful sister in the world. Then, I dunno how it happened, but we kissed, and soon things got really passionate - clothes came off, and... we had the most amazing s**....
Sadly, it didn't last. After I came, I found out the c**... had split. She started crying again, and I got the shakes. We went downstairs, hand in hand, to break the news to dad that his adopted daughter was probably pregnant.
I have never been less amused by the words "April Fools".

I asked my parents if I was adopted

They said they tried, but they didn't have any takers.

A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt...

They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan, and bring him back to America to live with them.
Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyways, they decide to adopt him.
The husband and wife are looking through the adoption papers for Amal a few days before seeing him, and the wife glances at a picture of him, and asks the husband if he would like to know what the boy looks like.
The husband shrugs and says: "Well, they are twin brothers, so I think I already know what he looks like. You know, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."


A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,
"What's wrong?"
Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."
Son: "What is it?"
Mother: " You're adopted."
Son: "Well duh I knew that, tell me something I don't know."
Mother: " I'm not a woman."

A kid grew up his whole life thinking he was adopted.

Many times he would enter a room unexpectedly and his parents would be there and would quickly hide official looking papers and act suspiciously about the subject. He always considered asking but was always too nervous about it. He thought he'd be disappointed to hear the truth. One day he works up the courage to ask so he goes into his parents room where he finds his dad working on his computer. He asks him "Dad, am I adopted?" His dad looks shocked and replies with "Well son, truthfully, we've been working on getting that done your whole life but we haven't found anyone to take you yet."

A lesbian couple asked me if I would like to make them parents.

I never thought adoption could be so exciting.

When my parents told me i was adopted

I asked mom dad why did you pick me was i special?
"Well yes honey out of all the children we had to choose from you where the only one that was white"

Today, my parents dropped a bomb on me when they told me that they're gay...

...but I'm not half as surprised as they'll be when I tell them that I'm adopted.

Son, you're adopted

Son: Who are my biological parents?
Father: We are. Pack your bags, the new ones will be here in 15 minutes.

Two new parents

Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, What ever possessed you to study Russian?
The couple said proudly, We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.

An American couple adopt a German infant...

He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.
Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.
Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.
Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?
Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.

A 12 year old boy comes home from school

He enters the home and his parents are sitting on the sofa together clutching hands.
Sit down son we have something to say says the dad
The boy sits down.
You're adopted the mother says.
The boy sighs and tears up and asks why didn't you say so before? I've always wondered
Good claps the father standing up swiftly. Get your bags packed, your new Parents will be here to pick you up in about an hour.

Dad comes to his son and tells him he's adopted...

The boy screams: "I knew it! I wanna see my real parents"
– We are your real parents, son. Pack your stuff, they're waiting.

When you came into this world, your parents had a choice.

They could keep you, or put you up for adoption.
The born ultimatum.

So i told my russian friend

Your parents must be the novichok killers
1. Because he's russian
2.because theyre both males so it means he's adopted

I adopted a goat the other day, but my mom said I'd have to get rid of it...

I guess as long as I live with my parents, I'll have to make sacrifices.

My parents didn't vaccinate their kids.

Fortunately, I was adopted by them and it helped me to become their sole heir.

Son, you were adopted

Dad: "Son, you were adopted."
Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!
Dad: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.

Father: "Son, you were adopted. Son: "What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"

Father: "We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will be here to pick you up in 20 minutes.

Father looks hard at his teenage son and says, James, you've been adopted.

James jumps up, Adopted! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents! Father laughs, No no, James, we are your biological parents. But you need to get packing, your adoptive ones will be here in an hour.

My parents sat me down and told me I was adopted.

Me: "What! WoW!! Do you know who my biological parents are???"
Parents: "We are your biological parents, you have been adopted by another family. They will be here in 30 mins, go pack your stuff!"

A father has something to confess to his daughter

Dad: Daughter i need to tell you something
Daughter: yeah dad, what's up?
Dad: you were adopted
Daughter: o**..., no way, then i want to meet my biological parents!
Dad: Oh yeah, don't worry, that's us! and you already know us, your new parents are coming to pick you up tomorrow.

Son, you were adopted

— I always knew it somehow! I never had anything in common with you guys..
— No, you didn't understand. We are your biological parents, it is you who were adopted, pack your things, your new parents are coming to pick you up!

My parents told me I was adopted.

You mean you're not my real parents?! My dad said, 'we are, you've been adopted, get your s**... together, they're picking you up in an hour'.

Did you hear the phrase one man's trash is another man's treasure?

Was my favorite saying, until my parents said it to indicate I was adopted

Little Timmy is called by his parents.

Father: "There's no easy way to tell you this: you have been adopted."
Timmy: "Whoa! Am I going to meet my real parents now?"
Father: "We ARE your real parents. And now go pack your bags. You're going to be picked up in 30 minutes."

A father tells his son that he was adopted. I want to meet my biological parents, the son demands. We are your biological parents, the father responds.

Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in twenty minutes.

I saw an adopted kid on the street

I walk up to him and ask him "Are you adopted?"
He replies "Yes, I am what gave me away"
I responded "Your parents"