The Best 44 Adoption Jokes
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of adoption jokes. From witty one-liners to funny stories, we've got something for everyone.
Top 10 Funniest Adoption Jokes and Puns
A woman has twins...
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
What do they call the lottery in Africa?
Celebrity adoption.
I should put my GPA up for adoption.
There's no way I can raise it by myself.
I walked into the library the other day
I walked into the library the other day and asked the librarian if he still had that mouldy old book on giving your child up for adoption.
"It was vile so I got rid of it."
"That's the one."
Adoption Agency
A college student goes to an adoption agency and talks to one of the clerks.
"welcome to the adoption agency, how may i help you?",Says the clerk.
"I need to put my grades up for adoption.", says the student.
"I am certain that we don't accept grades",said the clerk
The Student says,"what am i gonna do" he shouts"WELL I CAN'T RAISE THEM."
I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats
So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade
I'm officially putting my GPA up for adoption...
I just can't raise it myself
[joke credit to the girl I overheard say it in the library]
Two twins were separated at birth
One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."
I told my dad that I don't like being a single child.
"I want a brother!" I said.
He said, "Having a child is a long process, your mother and I don't need that right now."
"Maybe you should consider adoption?" I asked.
He said, "No, we're not doing that again."
Adoption.
A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,
"What's wrong?"
Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."
Son: "What is it?"
Mother: " You're adopted."
Son: "Well duh I knew that, tell me something I don't know."
Mother: " I'm not a woman."
I'm putting my standards up for adoption
Because I can't raise them anymore
You can explore adoption children reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adoption family dad jokes. There are also adoption puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A lesbian couple asked me if I would like to make them parents.
I never thought adoption could be so exciting.
I walked into a PETA adoption center and the receptionist asked me what kind of dog I wanted
Apparently "Whatever's low in cholesterol" was not the right answer.
What's the difference between an adoption and an abortion?
An abortion still leaves me sexually frustrated.
I put my grades up for adoption
Because I couldn't raise them anymore.
A lawyer, a spy, a money launderer, and a mob boss walk into a bar.
The bar tender looks up and says, "you must be here to talk about adoption".
People say that adopted kids aren't loved the same as biological kids.
You'd have to be pretty drunk to accidentally spend $40,000 at an adoption agency.
Twins
A woman has twins and puts them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other one goes to a family in Mexico and is named Juan. Many years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. She forwards it to her husband, who asks for a picture of the other one.
They're twins. She says. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
Asked my mom why i wasn't aborted.
She said that the adoption ward can't do that on newborns.
A couple just finalized their adoption of a Japanese baby.
Shortly after, they signed up for Japanese lessons and explained that they had just adopted a baby.
"How nice!" said the teacher.
"Yeah," they agreed. "He'll be talking in a couple years and we want to be able to understand him!"
Adoption Agent: Welcome to the adoption agency, how may I help you?
Me: yes, I would like to put up my grades for adoption
Adoption Agent: wth..?... sir...you must be mistaken ...we...
Me: *crying* Please...help...
...I can't raise them on my own
A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss and two Russian oligarchs walk into a bar. The bartender says...
"You guys must be here to talk about adoption."
A first place winner at the International Pun Contest
A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal
I never understood why gay adoption is such a controversy.
Who would want to adopt a gay man anyway?
I am putting my grades up for adoption.
I can't raise them by myself.
Adoption Joke
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
A woman had twins and put them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in eygpt and was named Amal. The other goes to a family in spain who name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband replies "Don't be sad. They're twins, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption
One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
My girlfriend once turned to me in bed
She asked me:Jake would you ever consider adoption
I answered:Only if you got pregnant
A dying mother talks to her son on her death bed
Mother: Before I die, I have to tell you something. You're ad- ado-
Son: I'm adopted?!
Mother: No, you're adorable
Son: *sniffs* Thanks, mom
Mother: That's why I chose you at the adoption center
I don't care for the term kidnapping
I prefer surprise adoption.
Twins
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
Same sex adoption is immoral
Either the kid gets an overdose of dad jokes or gets stuck on a "go ask your mother loop"
The twins
A woman delivers a set of identical twins and decides to give them up
for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal."
The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later,
Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the
picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of
Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've
seen Ahmal."
A couple who work in the circus go to an adoption agency.
Social workers there raise doubts about their suitability.
The couple produce photos of their 50 ft motorhome, which is equipped with a beautiful nursery.
The social workers then are doubtful about the education that the child would get.
"We've arranged for a full-time tutor who will teach the child all the usual subjects along with French, Mandarin and computer skills."
Then there are doubts about raising a child in a circus environment.
"Our nanny is an expert in paediatric welfare and diet."
The social workers are finally satisfied.
They ask, "What age child are you hoping to adopt?"
"It doesn't really matter, as long as he fits in the cannon"
My son stumbled upon his adoption papers and got upset
I was waiting for the right time to talk about the matter.
Not too worried as he will be with a new family by tomorrow.
On my birthday my parents gave me...
up for adoption
I couldn't raise my grades
So I put them up for adoption
-Sun Tzu
The Military recently announced the adoption of gender-neutral pronouns for all members.
Members will be allowed to choose from three options:
* Cannon-fodder
* Expendable
* Dead
Kidnapped?
I prefer the term "Surprise Adoption"
Why do PC builders hate adoption?
Because they dont want a pre-build
A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol
Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubby " do you want to see your sons picture?" hubby replies "Why? if you've seen Juan you've seen Amol"
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the adoption kids puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working adoption agencies piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.