Adoption Jokes

Following is our collection of biological humor and puppies one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Adoption puns for adults, dirty twins jokes or clean ahmal gags for kids.

There is an abundance of child jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 44 funniest jokes on adoption. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any acceptance witze you can hear about adoption.

The Best jokes about Adoption

A dying mother talks to her son on her death bed

Mother: Before I die, I have to tell you something. You're ad- ado-
Son: I'm adopted?!
Mother: No, you're adorable
Son: *sniffs* Thanks, mom
Mother: That's why I chose you at the adoption center

A woman has twins...

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to a family in Spain. They name him Juan.Β 
Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.
He responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal

Adoption joke

I should put my GPA up for adoption.

There's no way I can raise it by myself.

A couple just finalized their adoption of a Japanese baby.

Shortly after, they signed up for Japanese lessons and explained that they had just adopted a baby.

"How nice!" said the teacher.

"Yeah," they agreed. "He'll be talking in a couple years and we want to be able to understand him!"


I put my grades up for adoption

Because I couldn't raise them anymore.

Two twins were separated at birth

One of them lived in Cuba, and was named Juan. The other lived in Egypt, and was named Jamal.
10 years after their birth, their birth mother was sent a picture of one of the twins. "I wish I could see the other one," she said. The adoption mother then said,
" If you've seen juan, you've seen jamal."

Adoption joke

Adoption Agent: Welcome to the adoption agency, how may I help you?

Me: yes, I would like to put up my grades for adoption

Adoption Agent: wth..?... sir...you must be mistaken ...we...

Me: *crying* Please...help...
...I can't raise them on my own

Identical twins were put up for adoption and separated at birth...

...20 years later, their biological parents decided to find and meet them.

After many hours of research, they discovered that one child had been adopted by a middle-eastern family and had been named Amal Allamedan, while the other boy had been adopted by a family in Chile and had been named Juan Cerejo.

They set out to meet their son in Chile first. After meeting with him and having a wonderful time, the mother was ready to go meet her other son, but her husband disagreed.

When she asked why they couldn't go see him, he replied, "Well, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

Two Parents Want to Adopt a Child...

so they head down to adoption agency. They say to the matron,

"We'd like to adopt a child please."

She responds, "Well, we only have one child left. And he's a head."

"What?"

"He has no arms or legs. He's really just a head, poor thing."

But the new parents decide they want him anyway. So they take him home, and he has a great childhood. He does well in school, learns to overcome his disability, and his parents support him.

Eventually, he turns 21 and his dad takes him out for his first drink. They head up the hill to the local bar and take a seat.

The dad says, "Two beers please."

The bartender gives them the drinks and the son enjoys his first beer. Then, poof! Two arms pop out. Two drunks sitting over at a nearby table yell, "Give 'im another one! Give 'im another one!"

So he has another beer and poof! Two legs pop out. Everyone celebrates, the son is dancing around and having a good time, when the drunks say, "Give 'im another one!"

The son has another beer and poof! He disappears!

The two drunks look at each other and say, "He should have quit while he was a head."

A woman has identical twins and gives them up for adoption

One of the twin boys is adopted by a family in Spain and is named Juan. The other boy is adopted by a family in Egypt, who name him Jamal.

Years later, her son Juan connects with her and sends him a picture of himself with his family.

Feeling moved and happy that Juan is doing well, she sighs to her husband, "I wish I could see the other one, too."

Her husband looks at her and says, "Well, honey, they're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal!"


A lawyer, a spy, a money launderer, and a mob boss walk into a bar.

The bar tender looks up and says, "you must be here to talk about adoption".

A husband and wife are unable to have children, so they decide to adopt...

They eventually find a boy from Spain named Juan, and bring him back to America to live with them.

Years later, they learn from the adoption agency that Juan has a twin brother, who was raised by an Arab family. His parents were tragically killed, so the boy, named Amal, needs a home to live. So, since they wanted another kid anyways, they decide to adopt him.

The husband and wife are looking through the adoption papers for Amal a few days before seeing him, and the wife glances at a picture of him, and asks the husband if he would like to know what the boy looks like.

The husband shrugs and says: "Well, they are twin brothers, so I think I already know what he looks like. You know, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

The Pope's son

An actor and his wife are about to have a baby, but they realize that they can't afford to have a baby. They didn't want to go through the long process that is adoption. However, the pope was there at the same hospital getting a prostate examination. The actor has a plan, after the baby is born, the actor steals a doctor's coat and sneaks into the room where the pope was getting examined. After the doctors leave the room, he walks in holding the baby and exclaims, "Congratulations, it's a boy!" Startled and confused, the pope accepts the child and brings him back to Italy.

The child grows into a God fearing man, someone that the pope would be proud of. One day, the son walks up to pope and asks, "Are you my real father?" The pope, looks down at his feet for a moment, then looks up and says, "Forgive me my child, for I am not your father." His son then asks, "Do you know who is?" The pope answers, "Yes, it's the Archbishop. I'm your mother."

Twins

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

I'm putting my standards up for adoption

Because I can't raise them anymore

Adoption joke

A couple gave their twin boys up for adoption...

...it was a tough decision, but they felt unable to care for them, and decided it was the only way their children would thrive. One of the boys went to a Spanish family, who called their new son Juan. The other went to an Egyptian couple, who named the new addition to their family Ahmal.

20 years past, and the now elderly couple received a surprise in the mail, a letter from Juan, with a recent photo included. The mother was ecstatic, and said to her husband "It is such a blessing to finally see an image of our son, all grown up. I only regret that I cannot see a photo of his brother as well".

The husband said "What are you talking about? They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"

I am putting my grades up for adoption.

I can't raise them by myself.

A lesbian couple asked me if I would like to make them parents.

I never thought adoption could be so exciting.


A woman gave birth to twin boys, but gave them up for adoption.

A woman gave birth to twin boys, but gave them up for adoption. One was adopted by a Mexican family, and they named him Juan.
The other was adopted by a Palestinian couple, and they named him Amal. Years later, the birth mother & her husband wanted to find and meet their two sons they had to give up years ago. They were able to track down Juan and were finally able to meet him. They so overcome with Joy, they started to look for Amal. They searched & searched but couldn't find Amal. The woman was distraught, but her husband tried consoling her: "Honey, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

A husband and wife give birth to twins...

...but realized that they simply don't have the money to support a family. They put the twins up for adoption without so much as giving them names, after deciding it was for the best. Soon, one twin is adopted by a Mexican family, and his new family names him Juan. Shortly after, the other twin is adopted by an Egyptian family. His family names him Jamal. Years pass, and one day the couple receives a picture in the mail of Juan.

"Look, honey!", said the wife, "They sent us a picture of Juan! I just wish we could get a picture from Jamal..."

The husband replied, "You don't need one."

"Why?" She asked him.

"Because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

A Woman Has Twins

A woman has twins, and but is down on her luck so she decides to give them up for adoption. The adoption agency can't find a home that would take them both so they had to be split up. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her friend that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her friend responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.

I told my dad that I don't like being a single child.

"I want a brother!" I said.

He said, "Having a child is a long process, your mother and I don't need that right now."

"Maybe you should consider adoption?" I asked.

He said, "No, we're not doing that again."

What do they call the lottery in Africa?

Celebrity adoption.

Amal & Juan

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his mom. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband she wishes she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins -- if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

*I didn't write this, and it's not intended to be a repost, just liked it and thought I'd share :)

A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant...

A man and a woman get married and the woman gets pregnant with twin boys. She and her husband discuss the children on end, and they come to the decision that they would not be able to support them once they were born, so they put them up for adoption. One son gets sent to Mexico, the other to the Middle East, and while they would have loved to keep in contact with their sons, laws kept them from doing so. All they were allowed to know was that one boy was named Jamal, the other Juan.

So, the couple live out their lives, until one day, a letter comes in the mail from one of their sons. Juan has sent them a letter after tracking down his birth parents, and also included a photo of himself for the two to see. While the parents are delighted to have heard from one of their sons, the mother cant help but feel disappointed at the lack of a letter from the other, stating that she wishes she could have seen a photo of him as well, to which her husband replies, "honey, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

Identical Twins

A pair of identical twins is born and they are soon put up for adoption. One twin is adopted by a Spanish family, and given the name Juan. Another twin is adopted by an Egyptian family and he is named Amal.

Many years later, the biological parents decide that they would like to connect with their twins that were put up for adoption. Through the adoption agency, they contact the Spanish family and have a nice reunion with their son.

When the adoption agency asks the parents if they'd like to meet the other identical twin, the father says "No thanks. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

A first place winner at the International Pun Contest

A woman has identical twins and is forced to give them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're identical twins!
If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

Two identical twins separated at birth...

... And are put up for adoption. One of the twins gets adopted by a Mexican couple and is named Juan. The other twin gets adopted by an Egyptian family and is named Hamal.
Years later their biological mother and father receive a letter from both their children saying how through a bizarre series of coincidences they had found eachother and had tracked down their address. Enclosed was a picture of Juan smiling happily with his adoptive Mexican parents.
"Oh" the mother says to her husband. "he's so handsome! And seems so happy! I wish I knew what his brother looks like."
"Honey" said her husband "They're twins, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Hamal."

I'm officially putting my GPA up for adoption...

I just can't raise it myself

[joke credit to the girl I overheard say it in the library]

Two new parents

Dustin and Jane (both blonde) were delighted when finally their long wait to adopt a baby had come to an end.
The adoption center called and told them they had a wonderful Russian baby boy, and the couple took him without hesitation.
On the way home from the adoption center, they stopped by the local college so they each could enroll in night courses.
After they filled out the form, the registration clerk inquired, What ever possessed you to study Russian?
The couple said proudly, We just adopted a Russian baby and in a year or so he'll start to talk. We just want to be able to understand him.

My girlfriend once turned to me in bed

She asked me:Jake would you ever consider adoption

I answered:Only if you got pregnant

A woman had twins and put them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in eygpt and was named Amal. The other goes to a family in spain who name him Juan.

Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother.

Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband replies "Don't be sad. They're twins, if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

A Latino couple have two twins

One is named Juan, and the other is named Jamal. The mother is ecstatic because she had a pair of beautiful twins. However, they can only afford to raise one. After much debate between the mother and father, they decide to give up Jamal for adoption and to keep Juan. Many years go by. One day, the mother says to the father, its been so many years, I wonder what Jamal looks like. My dear boy must be so big by now. The father replies, well, once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

Adoption Agency

A college student goes to an adoption agency and talks to one of the clerks.

"welcome to the adoption agency, how may i help you?",Says the clerk.

"I need to put my grades up for adoption.", says the student.

"I am certain that we don't accept grades",said the clerk

The Student says,"what am i gonna do" he shouts"WELL I CAN'T RAISE THEM."

A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss and two Russian oligarchs walk into a bar. The bartender says...

"You guys must be here to talk about adoption."

A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption

One goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other goes to Spain and is named Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother. Upon receiving it, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband said "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

Adoption.

A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,


"What's wrong?"


Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."


Son: "What is it?"


Mother: " You're adopted."


Son: "Well duh I knew that, tell me something I don't know."


Mother: " I'm not a woman."

I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats

So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade

I walked into a PETA adoption center and the receptionist asked me what kind of dog I wanted

Apparently "Whatever's low in cholesterol" was not the right answer.

Twins

A woman has twins and puts them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other one goes to a family in Mexico and is named Juan. Many years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. She forwards it to her husband, who asks for a picture of the other one.

They're twins. She says. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.

I never understood why gay adoption is such a controversy.

Who would want to adopt a gay man anyway?

Can you explain this strange adoption joke?

A close friend of mine who is my eldest daughter's godmother just posted a very strange joke that references adoption. There must be something to this joke that I am completely missing. Thirty people have gone wild over this and I don't get it. My friend can't possibly be saying something offensive about adoption. My three children are adopted and they are grown up, healthy, happy, and thriving. What is the point here?

@AAPsyc hysterical!

A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss, and a money launder walk into a bar. The bartender says: "you guys must be here to talk about adoption."

TIA

People say that adopted kids aren't loved the same as biological kids.

You'd have to be pretty drunk to accidentally spend $40,000 at an adoption agency.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes