Unearthly Funniest Adopt Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
I adopted a dog from a blacksmith today..
First thing he did when i got him home was make a bolt for the door.
How high do you have to be to adopt a mouse as your son and name it Stuart
a little
A young couple adopt a German baby.
A young couple adopt a German baby. He was perfectly normal except for the fact he never spoke, not even a word.
One day aged five while the family were having dessert he suddenly says, "This strudel is tepid."
His parents are completely amazed. "Hans you can talk! Why haven't you spoken before now?"
The boy turned to the parents and slowly replies, "Until now, everything has been satisfactory."
There were 3 Chinese men...
Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.
They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.
Han decided that he would be Huck.
Chan decided that he would be Chuck.
And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.
Adoption Agency
A college student goes to an adoption agency and talks to one of the clerks.
"welcome to the adoption agency, how may i help you?",Says the clerk.
"I need to put my grades up for adoption.", says the student.
"I am certain that we don't accept grades",said the clerk
The Student says,"what am i gonna do" he shouts"WELL I CAN'T RAISE THEM."
I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats
So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade
Can anyone adopt my grades? I clearly can't raise them myself.
My shorts are hydrophobic
They don't repel water, they just think it shouldn't be able to adopt or get married.
"Was I adopted?"
"Yes. But they brought you back."
Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?
He was told to get a long little doggy...
Why did the cowboy adopt a w**... dog?
He wanted to git a long little doggy.
You can explore adopt ahmal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adopt implement dad jokes. There are also adopt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?
Because the shelter was non prophet.
my wife and i decided to adopt
we adopted a buoy.
his name is bob
I think I'm going to adopt a kid..
Recycling is important, after all.
I adopted a rescue dog early this morning...
But she hasn't saved anyone all day and she's peed in the house twice. This is b**....
someone adopt my gpa because i can't raise it myself
Dad, am I adopted?
Son : Dad, am I adopted?
Dad : If we really wanted to adopt, we would have chosen someone better.
E^dit : formatting
I'm adopted and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me.
But why everyday?
What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?
Con-grab-ur-asians!!
Adoption.
A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,
"What's wrong?"
Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."
Son: "What is it?"
Mother: " You're adopted."
Son: "Well duh I knew that, tell me something I don't know."
Mother: " I'm not a woman."
I want to adopt two kids...
... with cancer, both named Jordan.
I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans.
My brother and his husband decided to adopt a kid
The kid said he was hungry, so my brother responded "Hi hungry, I'm dad!" to which his husband responded "Hi dad, I'm dad!". My brother then replied to him "Hi dad, I'm dad!" They've been stuck like this for two weeks.
I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day.
Abort*
Sorry, I hate auto correct.
If I ever adopted a child, I think it'd be black.
I really don't want to have to pay for college.
I adopted a child from overseas...
I adopted a child from overseas.
To prevent him from working child-labour factories.
And on his very first birthday, we took him to build a bear workshop.
Mom, was I adopted?
Mom: What? No! I would never adopt you!
I adopted a drug sniffing dog...
she's having a real hard time quitting
I adopted a child from overseas to save him from labor factories.
For some reason he hates it when I take him to Build-a-Bear Workshop
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
To get a long little d**...
I adopted a dog who used to belong to a blacksmith
I know he used to belong to a blacksmith because as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.
Step 1: Adopt a religion.
Step 1: Adopt a religion.
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Prophet.
I asked my dad, am I adopted?
He said, Why would we adopt something like you?
Why did no one like the adopted acorn?
Everyone thought he was a son of a birch.
I adopted a kid who wanted to play football.
He isn't that great, but it's ok, he's used to being a sub.
Why couldn't the adopted child borrow his brother's trousers?
Because they didn't share jeans.
An American couple adopt a German infant...
He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.
Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.
Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.
Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?
Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.
I adopted a dog last week.
I don't know how I'm going to tell him.
So I adopted a 5 year old child from China
And she said to me: "Why is the sky blue?"
Adoption Agent: Welcome to the adoption agency, how may I help you?
Me: yes, I would like to put up my grades for adoption
Adoption Agent: wth..?... sir...you must be mistaken ...we...
Me: *crying* Please...help...
...I can't raise them on my own
A message to Christians who believe same-s**... couples should not adopt:
Jesus had two dads and he turned out fine.
A Chinese couple adopt a white baby...
A Chinese couple adopt a white baby.
Although it's obvious, everywhere they go, someone inevitably asks them if they adopted their child.
What? Of course we did! They'd say... Don't you know two Wongs don't make a white?
I never understood why gay adoption is such a controversy.
Who would want to adopt a gay man anyway?
I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith...
As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.
Would anyone like to adopt my grades?
I can't raise them myself.
Adoption Joke
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
I adopted a couple of pet catfish; great fish. The only problem...
They refuse to use the litter box.
Don't adopt a puppy to see if you're ready for kids
Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don't go anywhere.
I adopted two dogs and named them Timex and Rolex
They're my watch dogs.
I just adopted two puppies the other day. I love them so much but they're so distracting whenever I try to watch a movie.
They keep pressing paws.
My friend once dared me to adopt a baby cow, so I did, and now I have a barn full of them.
I guess that's what you'd call raising the steaks.
So, why did you adopt, asked one friend to another
Because my wife couldn't get pregnant, he answered, and neither could I.
Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?
So he could get a long little d**....
I was going to adopt a sick bird to take care of it
But I found out it was ill-eagle.
I've decided to adopt a 4 day work week
I really hope my boss doesn't find out.
My French girlfriend is aggressively insisting we adopt a kitten
She stormed into my room and said "I think it's time you and I had a little chat"
A woman and her husband got a dog
They show off their new dog to their friend, who absolutely adores the little guy.
What a good boy! Their friend says. Did you adopt him?
No, says the wife, he's our biological dog
