The Best 54 Adopt Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Adopt jokes. There are some adopt breed jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these adopt kitten puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Adopt Jokes and Puns

I adopted a dog from a blacksmith today..

First thing he did when i got him home was make a bolt for the door.

How high do you have to be to adopt a mouse as your son and name it Stuart

a little

A young couple adopt a German baby.

A young couple adopt a German baby. He was perfectly normal except for the fact he never spoke, not even a word.
One day aged five while the family were having dessert he suddenly says, "This strudel is tepid."
His parents are completely amazed. "Hans you can talk! Why haven't you spoken before now?"
The boy turned to the parents and slowly replies, "Until now, everything has been satisfactory."

Adopt joke, A young couple adopt a German baby.

English couple adopt a German baby boy 'Engelbert'.... six years old Engelbert has never spoke a word, everyone just assumed he is mute.

Then one day at the breakfast table Engelbert shouted (with a typical German accent) mummy these sausages are not cooked through!

Mummy rushed across and shocked with disbelief said Engelgert you can talk, how come you never said anything for six years?

(German Accent again) Engelbert replied up until now everything has been quite satisfactory.

There were 3 Chinese men...

Han, Chan and Fan were planning on migrating to the USA.

They all wanted to assimilate as quickly as possible, so they decided to adopt more traditional American sounding names.

Han decided that he would be Huck.

Chan decided that he would be Chuck.

And Fan...well Fan decided that he`d stay in China.

Adoption Agency

A college student goes to an adoption agency and talks to one of the clerks.

"welcome to the adoption agency, how may i help you?",Says the clerk.

"I need to put my grades up for adoption.", says the student.

"I am certain that we don't accept grades",said the clerk

The Student says,"what am i gonna do" he shouts"WELL I CAN'T RAISE THEM."

I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats

So, I am giving her away for adoption. She's 7 and she's in second grade

Adopt joke, I adopted a cat but it turned out that my daughter is allergic to cats

Can anyone adopt my grades? I clearly can't raise them myself.

My shorts are hydrophobic

They don't repel water, they just think it shouldn't be able to adopt or get married.

"Was I adopted?"

"Yes. But they brought you back."

Why did the cowboy adopt a wiener dog?

He was told to get a long little doggy...

You can explore adopt ahmal reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adopt implement dad jokes. There are also adopt puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?

He wanted to git a long little doggy.

Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter?

Because the shelter was non prophet.

my wife and i decided to adopt

we adopted a buoy.

his name is bob

I think I'm going to adopt a kid..

Recycling is important, after all.

I adopted a rescue dog early this morning...

But she hasn't saved anyone all day and she's peed in the house twice. This is bullshit.

Adopt joke, I adopted a rescue dog early this morning...

someone adopt my gpa because i can't raise it myself

Dad, am I adopted?

Son : Dad, am I adopted?

Dad : If we really wanted to adopt, we would have chosen someone better.

E^dit : formatting

I'm adopted and I'm glad my parents were at least honest enough to tell me.

But why everyday?

What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt?



A kid was walking into the kitchen when he notices his parents sitting at the table looking upset. He asks,

"What's wrong?"

Dad: "There is something we need to tell you son."

Son: "What is it?"

Mother: " You're adopted."

Son: "Well duh I knew that, tell me something I don't know."

Mother: " I'm not a woman."

I want to adopt two kids...

... with cancer, both named Jordan.

I've always wanted a sick pair of Jordans.

My brother and his husband decided to adopt a kid

The kid said he was hungry, so my brother responded "Hi hungry, I'm dad!" to which his husband responded "Hi dad, I'm dad!". My brother then replied to him "Hi dad, I'm dad!" They've been stuck like this for two weeks.

I'd really, really love to adopt a kid some day.

Sorry, I hate auto correct.

If I ever adopted a child, I think it'd be black.

I really don't want to have to pay for college.

I adopted a child from overseas...

I adopted a child from overseas.
To prevent him from working child-labour factories.
And on his very first birthday, we took him to build a bear workshop.

Mom, was I adopted?

Mom: What? No! I would never adopt you!

I adopted a drug sniffing dog...

she's having a real hard time quitting

I adopted a child from overseas to save him from labor factories.

For some reason he hates it when I take him to Build-a-Bear Workshop

Why did the cowboy adopt a dachshund?

To get a long little doggie

How do you know if someone adopted their dog?

Don't worry they will tell you

I adopted a dog who used to belong to a blacksmith

I know he used to belong to a blacksmith because as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

Step 1: Adopt a religion.

Step 1: Adopt a religion.
Step 2: ????
Step 3: Prophet.

I was going to adopt a nihilistic world view,

But there was no point.

I asked my dad, am I adopted?

He said, Why would we adopt something like you?

Why did no one like the adopted acorn?

Everyone thought he was a son of a birch.

I adopted a kid who wanted to play football.

He isn't that great, but it's ok, he's used to being a sub.

Why couldn't the adopted child borrow his brother's trousers?

Because they didn't share jeans.

An American couple adopt a German infant...

He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.

Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.

Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.

Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?

Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.

I adopted a dog last week.

I don't know how I'm going to tell him.

So I adopted a 5 year old child from China

And she said to me: "Why is the sky blue?"

Adoption Agent: Welcome to the adoption agency, how may I help you?

Me: yes, I would like to put up my grades for adoption

Adoption Agent: wth..?... must be mistaken ...we...

Me: *crying*
...I can't raise them on my own

A message to Christians who believe same-sex couples should not adopt:

Jesus had two dads and he turned out fine.

A Chinese couple adopt a white baby...

A Chinese couple adopt a white baby.
Although it's obvious, everywhere they go, someone inevitably asks them if they adopted their child.

What? Of course we did! They'd say... Don't you know two Wongs don't make a white?

I never understood why gay adoption is such a controversy.

Who would want to adopt a gay man anyway?

I adopted a dog that used to be owned by a blacksmith...

As soon as I got him inside, he made a bolt for the door.

Would anyone like to adopt my grades?

I can't raise them myself.

Adoption Joke

A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.

Why did the student adopt her grades?

She just couldn't raise them.

I adopted a couple of pet catfish; great fish. The only problem...

They refuse to use the litter box.

Don't adopt a puppy to see if you're ready for kids

Adopt a homeless guy with diarrhea & a bunch of stories that don't go anywhere.

I adopted two dogs and named them Timex and Rolex

They're my watch dogs.

I just adopted two puppies the other day. I love them so much but they're so distracting whenever I try to watch a movie.

They keep pressing paws.

My friend once dared me to adopt a baby cow, so I did, and now I have a barn full of them.

I guess that's what you'd call raising the steaks.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the adopt children jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working adopt puppy piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes