Gather Around for Fun Adolf Jokes and Laughter with Friends
Hitler walks into a restaurant...
Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, "I'm hungry!"
The owner asks, "Well, what do you want to eat?"
Hitler replies with, "As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!"
Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete....
He was the fascist kid on the playground.
Yankee Doodle can use other names too
Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'
Adolf Hitler went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'
Why shouldn't you play against Adolf Hitler in Madden?
Because he always blitzes.
Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon...
...Because Marathons are the master race.
A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler...
A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler.
"Hey, is that Hitler?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to Hitler.
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
Hitler's right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
Hitler becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.
Adolf Hitler wasn't so bad...
I mean he did kill Hitler.
What video game would Adolf Hitler play?
Mein Kraft.
Adolf Hitler has been judged very harshly by history however..
he did kill Hitler.
NB: stolen from Jimmy Carr
Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class?
He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.
I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf Hitler today.
I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew.
You can explore adolf berlin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adolf heil dad jokes. There are also adolf puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Adolf Hitler's Refrigerator
Adolf Hitler opens his fridge to find 5 gallons of Tropicana, 8 gallons of Cranberry Ocean Spray, 1 gallon of Grape Minute Maid and a pint of V8. How long until he eliminates all of the juice?
Adolf Hitler once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place
The Germans replied "No, it's hail Hitler"
What did Ava Braun say to Adolf Hitler?
I love you so much, my head could explode!
A boy is studying for his geography quiz
His mom asks him:
"What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin", says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin."
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin."
"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."
What was Adolf Hitler's campaign slogan?
*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*
How did Adolf tie his shoes?
With two knotzies.
Geography class
-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that
What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf Hitler have in common?
They both died before finishing a race.
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Michael Schumacher?
Michael Schumacher can finish a race.
So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...
So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf Hitler... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"
Hitler was the original Social Justice Warrior
Adolf Hitler is the story of a failed liberal art student who blamed it on ethnicities he deemed privileged.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945
You are stuck in a room with Adolf Hitler and Donald Trump. You have a gun with 2 bullets in it, what do you do?
*Shoot myself twice*
What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common?
Neither of them are musicians.
One day, Adolf Hitler looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds.
Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.
The meteorologist replied, "Hail, Hitler!"
So they've finally got Hitler in court..
And the Judge says to him, "Adolf, if you were given a chance to change anything about what you've done, what would you do?"
Hitler replies, "Well first I'd kill a few million more Jews, and then I'd kill a clown."
With a contorted face the Judge asks, "Why would you kill a clown?"
Hitler says, "See--nobody cares about the Jews."
What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Kurt Cobain?
Hitler had a reason to kill himself.
[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is
"I'll be 6 soon!"
"Nope"
What ever happened to Hitler's family?
He Adolf Them...
Adolf Hitler has never touched Call of Duty...
...and yet, he still has a better KDR than me.
Adolf asked his advisor "How's the weather today?"
"Hail, Hitler"
"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"
"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"
"That's easy, Berlin."
"And the capital of France?"
"Berlin"
"And the one of Poland?"
"Also Berlin."
"Good job Adolf, good job!"
Have you heard about the world's most prolific baker?
That's weird, I thought everyone had heard of Adolf Hitler.
Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.
Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.
Capital of Germany? Berlin
Capital of France? Berlin
Capital of Russia? Berlin
Capital of Poland? Berlin
Capital of USA? Tokyo
Capital of China? Tokyo
Hotel? Trivago
That's my boy.
Jesus Christ may have fed 2000 people with bread and wine...
But Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast
What was Adolf Hitler's favorite movie?
Fast and Fuhrerious
Before art school, Adolf Hitler tried programming,
but he always got stuck on race conditions.
What kind of humor does Adolf Hitler hate?
Black humor
Who was Adolf Hitler's least favorite athlete?
O.J. Simpson. Everyone knows Hitler hated The Juice.
I don't know why people hate Adolf Hitler so much
I mean the dude killed Hitler, sounds like a hero to me
A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."
I hate Adolf Hitler!
The man who shot that scum must be a saint!
After the World War 2
Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting England. British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland. "A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth. "Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked. Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."
Jesus fed 6 people with 4 loafs of bread and 2 fish.
However adolf hitler made 6 Million jews toast
Hitler goes to France
As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"
The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf Hitler"
"Occupation?"
Hitler shakes his head... "No, just visiting".
A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam
She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"
Hitlers Disease
A little known fact about Adolf Hitler he had severe asthma and lung issues his whole life. He even wrote in his journal about it briefly titled Mein Cough.
How did Adolf tie his shoelaces?
With little knotsies
What was Adolf Hitler's phone number?
What do you get from crossing Brad Pitt, Vladimir Putin and Adolf Hitler?
A young boy was getting ready for a geography test he was going to take at school.
As he studied, he decided to ask his mother for help:
"Mom, will you help me revise for my geography test?"
"Sure honey, let's see... what's the capital of Germany?'
"Berlin!"
"Good job! What about the capital of France?"
"Berlin!"
"Way to go! What's the capital of the US?"
"Berlin!"
"Good job, little Adolf!"
Remember, tomorrow is Adolf Hitler's birthday
I've got a cake all ready for him in the oven
Jesus fed 2000 Christians with 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread
Adolf made 6 million Jews toast.
When Adolf Hitler gets angry and leaves...
Is he taking his ball and going home?
What do you call an Asian who works for Adolf Hitler?
A Not See
In the geography class:
-What is the capital of Germany?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of Poland?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of France?
-Berlin!
-Good job, Adolf!
What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym?
The liftwaffe.
What was Adolf Hitler's favourite gameshow?
Wipeout.
What happens when you mix Adolf Hitler and domestic violence?
Adolf *Hit-Her*
Today is 4/20 and we all know what that means -
Happy birthday, Adolf Hitler!
What do you call a dolphin that has had sex with Adolf Hitler?
Adolf-in
Adolf Hitler was born on 4/20....
That idiot got caught up in the wrong gas
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf Hitler never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
Adolf Hitler never took a taxi in his whole life.
He was more of an Uber-mensch.
I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.
She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people, shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."
Adolf Hitler went to consult a fortune teller
He asked the fortune teller: "When will I die?"
The fortune teller answered: "Sir, You will die on a Jewish holiday"
Hitler asked back: "How are you so sure about that"
He replied: "Sir, whatever day you die on will be a Jewish holiday"
What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?
Usain Bolt knows how to finish a race
A time traveler meets Adolf Hitler in a bar
Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with Hitler.
The time traveler looked at Hitler and asked So how are you doing?
Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.
Well that sucks, you'll probably land on your feet though.
Yea you're right, but you want to know what I hate?
Let me guess, Jews?
Well, now that you mention it…
I've just finished my time machine, and the first thing I'm going to do...
...you know, I'm sick of all these trashy paintings by Adolf Hitler, I'm going to go back and make sure he never gets into art college.
Old Finnish WW2 joke
Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting in England after the World War II.
British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland.
"A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth.
"Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked.
Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."
Why didn't Adolf Hitler drink?
It would just turn him into a bit of an asshole.
geography test
What is the capital of Austria?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of France?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of Poland?
\- Berlin
All wrong. Adolf, you're gonna fail the test
\- We shall see
