Gather Around for Fun Adolf Jokes and Laughter with Friends
h**... walks into a restaurant...
Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, "I'm hungry!"
The owner asks, "Well, what do you want to eat?"
h**... replies with, "As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!"
Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf h**... was also a star athlete....
He was the fascist kid on the playground.
Yankee Doodle can use other names too
Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'
Adolf h**... went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'
Why shouldn't you play against Adolf h**... in Madden?
Because he always blitzes.
Adolf h**... banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon...
...Because Marathons are the master race.
A man walks into a bar and sees h**......
A man walks into a bar and sees h**....
"Hey, is that h**...?" he asks the bartender.
"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"
The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to h**....
"Hello Adolf."
"How are you?" Adolf asks.
"Good, what are you doing?"
h**...'s right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."
"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.
"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.
"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.
h**... becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.
"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."
--
The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.
Adolf h**... wasn't so bad...
I mean he did kill h**....
What video game would Adolf h**... play?
Mein Kraft.
Adolf h**... has been judged very harshly by history however..
he did kill h**....
NB: stolen from Jimmy Carr
Why did Adolf h**... hate math class?
He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.
I inherited one of the paintings done by Adolf h**... today.
I don't want to hang it in my house though. I'm afraid it's bad Jew Jew.
You can explore adolf berlin reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adolf heil dad jokes. There are also adolf puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Adolf h**...'s Refrigerator
Adolf h**... opens his fridge to find 5 gallons of Tropicana, 8 gallons of Cranberry Ocean Spray, 1 gallon of Grape Minute Maid and a pint of V8. How long until he eliminates all of the juice?
Adolf h**... once asked the Germans if it was raining in their place
The Germans replied "No, it's hail h**..."
What did Ava Braun say to Adolf h**...?
I love you so much, my head could explode!
A boy is studying for his geography quiz
His mom asks him:
"What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin", says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin."
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin."
"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."
What was Adolf h**...'s campaign slogan?
*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*
How did Adolf tie his shoes?
With two knotzies.
Geography class
-Whats the capital of Germany?
-Berlin teacher
-Whats the capital of France?
-Berlin again teacher
-Whats the capital of Poland?
-Still Berlin teacher
-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!
-We'll see about that
What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf h**... have in common?
They both died before finishing a race.
So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...
So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf h**...... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"
h**... was the original Social Justice Warrior
Adolf h**... is the story of a failed liberal art student who blamed it on ethnicities he deemed privileged.
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf h**..., 1945
You are stuck in a room with Adolf h**... and Donald Trump. You have a gun with 2 bullets in it, what do you do?
*Shoot myself twice*
What's Adolf h**...'s favourite computer game?
Mein Kraft.
What do Justin Bieber and Adolf h**... have in common?
Neither of them are musicians.
One day, Adolf h**... looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds.
Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.
The meteorologist replied, "Hail, h**...!"
So they've finally got h**... in court..
And the Judge says to him, "Adolf, if you were given a chance to change anything about what you've done, what would you do?"
h**... replies, "Well first I'd kill a few million more Jews, and then I'd kill a clown."
With a contorted face the Judge asks, "Why would you kill a clown?"
h**... says, "See--nobody cares about the Jews."
What's the difference between Adolf h**... and Kurt Cobain?
h**... had a reason to kill himself.
[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is
"I'll be 6 soon!"
"Nope"
TIL - that Adolf h**... was inspecting his U-Boat fleet one day and got on the
Wrong sub
I just watched a documentary about Adolf h**....
I just watched a documentary about Adolf h**....
He sure was a popular guy.
Everywhere he went, people shouted Hi h**... and gave him a little wave.
What ever happened to h**...'s family?
He Adolf Them...
Adolf h**... has never touched Call of Duty...
...and yet, he still has a better KDR than me.
Adolf asked his advisor "How's the weather today?"
"Hail, h**..."
"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"
"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"
"That's easy, Berlin."
"And the capital of France?"
"Berlin"
"And the one of Poland?"
"Also Berlin."
"Good job Adolf, good job!"
Have you heard about the world's most prolific baker?
That's weird, I thought everyone had heard of Adolf h**....
Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.
Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.
Capital of Germany? Berlin
Capital of France? Berlin
Capital of Russia? Berlin
Capital of Poland? Berlin
Capital of USA? Tokyo
Capital of China? Tokyo
Hotel? Trivago
That's my boy.
Jesus Christ may have fed 2000 people with bread and wine...
But Adolf h**... made 6 million Jews toast
What was Adolf h**...'s favorite movie?
Fast and Fuhrerious
Before art school, Adolf h**... tried programming,
but he always got stuck on race conditions.
What kind of humor does Adolf h**... hate?
Black humor
Who was Adolf h**...'s least favorite athlete?
O.J. Simpson. Everyone knows h**... hated The Juice.
I don't know why people hate Adolf h**... so much
I mean the dude killed h**..., sounds like a hero to me
A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.
She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of France?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"What is the capital of Russia?"
"Berlin," says the boy.
"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."
I hate Adolf h**...!
The man who shot that s**... must be a saint!
After the World War 2
Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting England. British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland. "A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth. "Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked. Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."
Jesus fed 6 people with 4 loafs of bread and 2 fish.
However adolf h**... made 6 Million jews toast
Jokes about mass genocide are only funny if they are said by certain people.
- Adolf h**....
h**... goes to France
As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"
The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf h**..."
"Occupation?"
h**... shakes his head... "No, just visiting".
A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam
She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."
She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."
She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."
She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"
Hitlers Disease
A little known fact about Adolf h**... he had severe asthma and lung issues his whole life. He even wrote in his journal about it briefly titled Mein Cough.
How did Adolf tie his shoelaces?
With little knotsies
What do you get from crossing Brad Pitt, Vladimir Putin and Adolf h**...?
A young boy was getting ready for a geography test he was going to take at school.
As he studied, he decided to ask his mother for help:
"Mom, will you help me revise for my geography test?"
"Sure honey, let's see... what's the capital of Germany?'
"Berlin!"
"Good job! What about the capital of France?"
"Berlin!"
"Way to go! What's the capital of the US?"
"Berlin!"
"Good job, little Adolf!"
Remember, tomorrow is Adolf h**...'s birthday
I've got a cake all ready for him in the oven
Jesus fed 2000 Christians with 2 fishes and 5 loaves of bread
Adolf made 6 million Jews toast.
When Adolf h**... gets angry and leaves...
Is he taking his ball and going home?
What do you call an Asian who works for Adolf h**...?
A Not See
In the geography class:
-What is the capital of Germany?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of Poland?
-Berlin!
-What is the capital of France?
-Berlin!
-Good job, Adolf!
What do you call Adolf h**...'s personal gym?
The liftwaffe.
What was Adolf h**...'s favourite gameshow?
Wipeout.
What happens when you mix Adolf h**... and domestic violence?
Adolf *Hit-Her*
Today is 4/20 and we all know what that means -
Happy birthday, Adolf h**...!
What do you call a dolphin that has had s**... with Adolf h**...?
Adolf-in
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf h**... never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
Adolf h**... never took a taxi in his whole life.
He was more of an Uber-mensch.
I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf h**....
She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people, shares the same birthday as Adolf h**...."
Adolf h**... went to consult a fortune teller
He asked the fortune teller: "When will I die?"
The fortune teller answered: "Sir, You will die on a Jewish holiday"
h**... asked back: "How are you so sure about that"
He replied: "Sir, whatever day you die on will be a Jewish holiday"
What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf h**...?
Usain Bolt knows how to finish a race
A time traveler meets Adolf h**... in a bar
Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with h**....
The time traveler looked at h**... and asked So how are you doing?
Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.
Well that s**..., you'll probably land on your feet though.
Yea you're right, but you want to know what I hate?
Let me guess, Jews?
Well, now that you mention it…
I've just finished my time machine, and the first thing I'm going to do...
...you know, I'm sick of all these t**... paintings by Adolf h**..., I'm going to go back and make sure he never gets into art college.
Old Finnish WW2 joke
Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting in England after the World War II.
British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland.
"A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth.
"Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked.
Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."
Why didn't Adolf h**... drink?
It would just turn him into a bit of an a**....
geography test
What is the capital of Austria?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of France?
\- Berlin
What is the capital of Poland?
\- Berlin
All wrong. Adolf, you're gonna fail the test
\- We shall see
