adolf Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious adolf puns

A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin," says the boy.

"Good job, Adolf, you'll do great on your test tomorrow."

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"Mom, mom, quiz me on capitals please!"

"Okay, what's the capital of Germany?"


"That's easy, Berlin."


"And the capital of France?"


"Berlin"


"And the one of Poland?"


"Also Berlin."


"Good job Adolf, good job!"

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What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game?

Mein Kraft.

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A mother is helping her son study for a test

She asks him "What is the capital of Germany?"

He replies "Berlin."

She then asks "What is the capital of France?"

He replies "Berlin."

She asks "What is the capital of Russia?"

He replies "Berlin."

She then hugs him and says "Great job Adolf, you'll do so well on your geography exam!"

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Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

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What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft.

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A mother was helping her son study for a test

She asked him, "What is the capital of Germany?"

He replied, "Berlin."

She then asked, "What is the capital of France?"

He replied, "Berlin."

She asked, "What is the capital of Russia?"

He replied, "Berlin."

She then hugged him and said, "Great job Adolf, you'll do so well on your geography exam!"

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A boy is studying for his geography quiz

His mom asks him:

"What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin", says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin."

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin."

"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

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What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common?

Neither of them are musicians.

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So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...

So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf Hitler... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"

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Geography class

-Whats the capital of Germany?

-Berlin teacher

-Whats the capital of France?

-Berlin again teacher

-Whats the capital of Poland?

-Still Berlin teacher

-Adolf! If you keep this up you'll fail geography!

-We'll see about that

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[Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is

"I'll be 6 soon!"

"Nope"

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What was Adolf Hitler's campaign slogan?

*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*

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Adolf asked his advisor "How's the weather today?"

"Hail, Hitler"

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What is the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?

Bolt can actually finish a race.


...I could actually feel the flames of Hell beneath me as I wrote this.

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A mother is helping her son study for a geography quiz.

She asks him: "What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin" says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin"

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin"

"Good job Adolf, you'll do great on your quiz tomorrow."

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I hate Adolf Hitler!

The man who shot that scum must be a saint!

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Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class?

He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.

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If Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, and Justin Bieber were in an elevator with me and I only had two bullets, I would...

..wonder why I didn't bring a fucking gun!

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Adolf Hitler is given a day out of hell, back on Earth.

Half an hour later, he's pounding on hell's gates: "Let me back in, I don't want to be there! It's all strange - the Jews are fighting and the Germans are trading!"

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A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler...

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler.

"Hey, is that Hitler?" he asks the bartender.

"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"

The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to Hitler.

"Hello Adolf."

"How are you?" Adolf asks.

"Good, what are you doing?"

Hitler's right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."

"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.

"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.

"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.

Hitler becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.

"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."

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The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.

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Hitler goes to France

As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"

The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf Hitler"

"Occupation?"

Hitler shakes his head... "No, just visiting".

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Hitler walks into a restaurant...



Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, "I'm hungry!"

The owner asks, "Well, what do you want to eat?"

Hitler replies with, "As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!"

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A mother is helping her son revise for a geography exam

She asks "What's the Capital of Germany?"
He replies "Berlin."

She then asks "What's the Capital of France?"
He replies "Berlin."

She asks "What's the Capital of Russia?"
He replies "Berlin."

She finally asks "What's the Capital of Poland?"
He replies "Berlin."

She then hugs him and says "I'm sure you'll do great, Adolf"

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An old man wins the lottery.

He goes to his synagogue, walks up to his rabbi and says "I want to donate 10 million dollars to the synagogue on one condition." the rabbi's eyes start to sparkle and he replies "Of course sir, whatever you wish we will do." The old man states "I want you to erect a statue of Adolf Hitler in your courtyard" The look in the rabbi's eyes turns to rage as he states "Why would you want us to commit this travesty to our people?" the old man shrugs, lifts up his sleeve and says "He gave me the winning numbers."

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So they've finally got Hitler in court..

And the Judge says to him, "Adolf, if you were given a chance to change anything about what you've done, what would you do?"

Hitler replies, "Well first I'd kill a few million more Jews, and then I'd kill a clown."

With a contorted face the Judge asks, "Why would you kill a clown?"

Hitler says, "See--nobody cares about the Jews."

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A young boy was getting ready for a geography test he was going to take at school.

As he studied, he decided to ask his mother for help:

"Mom, will you help me revise for my geography test?"

"Sure honey, let's see... what's the capital of Germany?'

"Berlin!"

"Good job! What about the capital of France?"

"Berlin!"

"Way to go! What's the capital of the US?"

"Berlin!"

"Good job, little Adolf!"

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Adolf Hitler wasn't so bad...

I mean he did kill Hitler.

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Some day in Berlin

Yussel Rabinowitz and his wife Bessie were hiding from the Nazis in a secluded Berlin basement.

One day Yussel decided to get a breath of fresh air, but while out walking he came face to face with Adolf Hitler himself. The German leader pulled out a gun and pointed to a pile of horse-shit in the street.

All right, Jew! he shouted, Eat that or I'll kill you.
Trembling, Yussel did as he was ordered. Hitler began laughing so hard that he dropped his gun.

Yussel grabbed it and said, Now you eat, or I'll shoot!
The fuhrer got down on his hands and knees and began eating. While he was occupied, Yussel sneaked away and ran back to his basement. He slammed the door shut, bolted and locked it securely.

Bessie, Bessie! he shouted. Guess who I had lunch with today!

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What is Minecraft?

Adolf Hitler's lesser known second book about his love of knitting.

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Dad, my Geography teacher Adolf will give me a quiz tomorrow.

Sure Hans. Let me ask you some questions.

Capital of Germany? Berlin

Capital of France? Berlin

Capital of Russia? Berlin

Capital of Poland? Berlin

Capital of USA? Tokyo

Capital of China? Tokyo

Hotel? Trivago

That's my boy.

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A mother is helping her son study for a geography test.

"What is the capital of Germany?" she asks.

"Berlin," says the boy.

"What's the capital of France?"

"Berlin."

"What's the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin."

"Good job, Adolf. You'll do great on your test tomorrow."

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Jesus fed 6 people with 4 loafs of bread and 2 fish.

However adolf hitler made 6 Million jews toast

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A guy walks into a bar...

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he is sitting there he catches sight of the guy sitting next to him and notices the man looks exactly like Adolf Hitler. The man ignores this at first and quietly drinks his beer.

After some time his curiosity gets the better of him, so he turns to the man and says, "Has anyone ever told you that you look just like Hitler?"

To the guy's surprise, the man turns right to him and says in a thick German accent, "That is because I am Hitler."

The guy just laughs this off and takes another drink, but the stranger keeps his serious expression and says, "It is true, I am Hitler. The allies thought I killed myself, but I escaped and moved here to lie low."

The guy is understandably stunned, so putting his drink down he asks Hitler, "If it's true, and you're Hitler, then you're the most hated man alive--you killed six million Jews!"

"Well yes," says Hitler, "but nobody cares about the Jews anyway."

They argue for a while after that about whether anyone cares about the Jews, before Hitler finally says, "Tell you what. I'll prove to you right now that no one cares about the Jews. I will go around the world right now, round up six million more Jews, and kill every single one of them. Then I will find one clown, and I will kill him too."

Puzzled, the man asks, "Well what would you kill the clown for?"

Then Hitler points at him and says, "See? You didn't care about the Jews either!"

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Jesus Christ may have fed 2000 people with bread and wine...

But Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast

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What are the most funny Adolf jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Adolf? Well, here are the best Adolf dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Adolf pick up lines to share with friends.

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