The Best 35 Adolf Hitler Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Adolf Hitler jokes. There are some adolf hitler adolph hitler jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these adolf hitler joseph goebbels puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Adolf Hitler Jokes and Puns

What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game?

Mein Kraft.

Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person

"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf Hitler, 1945

What video game would Adolf Hitler play?

Mein Kraft.

What do Justin Bieber and Adolf Hitler have in common?

Neither of them are musicians.

jokes about adolf hitler

So a holocaust survivor wins the lottery...

So Moishe wins the lottery, reporters start asking this Holocaust survivor about his plans for the money. without hesitation he says he is going to commission a statue of adolf Hitler... the reporters are stunned and ask why a survivor of such an atrocity would do such a thing. Moishe rolls up his sleeve - "he gave me the winning numbers"


A time traveler meets Adolf Hitler in a bar

Instead of trying to kill him and mess up the timeline he instead sits down to have a drink with Hitler.

The time traveler looked at Hitler and asked So how are you doing?

Pretty terrible, I just got kicked out of art school.

Well that sucks, you'll probably land on your feet though.

Yea you're right, but you want to know what I hate?

Let me guess, Jews?

Well, now that you mention it…

What was Adolf Hitler's campaign slogan?

*"Auschwitz the old, in with the Jews!"*

Adolf asked his advisor "How's the weather today?"

"Hail, Hitler"

I've just finished my time machine, and the first thing I'm going to do...

...you know, I'm sick of all these trashy paintings by Adolf Hitler, I'm going to go back and make sure he never gets into art college.

I hate Adolf Hitler!

The man who shot that scum must be a saint!

Why did Adolf Hitler hate math class?

He didn't like showing his work; was only interested in the final solution.

You can explore adolf hitler goering reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adolf hitler goebbels dad jokes. There are also adolf hitler puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler...

A man walks into a bar and sees Hitler.

"Hey, is that Hitler?" he asks the bartender.

"Yeah that's Adolf and his right hand man. Have a cold beer and go introduce yourself!"

The man gets a nice cold bottle from the bartender and makes his way over to Hitler.

"Hello Adolf."

"How are you?" Adolf asks.

"Good, what are you doing?"

Hitler's right hand man chimes in. "We are going over plans for World War III."

"Ah, what are your plans for it?" the bar visiting man asks.

"Well, we will kill 1 million Jews and 1 bicycle repair man," Adolf's right hand man answers.

"Why are you going to kill a bicycle repair man?" asks the man.

Hitler becomes excited and turns to his right hand man.

"Ha! See? I told you nobody would care about the Jews."

--

The Holocaust is a terrible thing. This is a terrible joke. However, it has made people laugh, even Jewish people because it is very unexpected. I have no issue with Jewish men or women.

What sea creature would Hitler be?

Adolf-in.

Hitler goes to France

As he reaches the immigration desk, the clerk reviews his passport and asks, "Name?"

The fuhrer whispers, "Adolf Hitler"

"Occupation?"

Hitler shakes his head... "No, just visiting".

Hitler walks into a restaurant...



Adolf walks in to a restaurant and states, "I'm hungry!"

The owner asks, "Well, what do you want to eat?"

Hitler replies with, "As long as it's *not-sea*food, I'm sure I'll love it!"

What's the difference between Usain Bolt and Adolf Hitler?

Usain Bolt knows how to finish a race

So they've finally got Hitler in court..

And the Judge says to him, "Adolf, if you were given a chance to change anything about what you've done, what would you do?"

Hitler replies, "Well first I'd kill a few million more Jews, and then I'd kill a clown."

With a contorted face the Judge asks, "Why would you kill a clown?"

Hitler says, "See--nobody cares about the Jews."

I told my wife that I have the same birthday as Adolf Hitler.

She said, "It's crazy to think that such a loathsome figure, who ruined the lives of so many people, shares the same birthday as Adolf Hitler."

A man goes to a fortune teller...

..., where she, in horrified voice, tells him that he'll make the world miserable in the near future. The man, down as f**k, starts walking home, where he sees a small boy standing on the edge of a bridge. He quickly runs to him and saves him from suicide. Happy that he did something good for humanity asks the boy what's his name. Adolf Hitler, the boy replies.


Adolf Hitler wasn't so bad...

I mean he did kill Hitler.

Adolf Hitler went to consult a fortune teller

He asked the fortune teller: "When will I die?"

The fortune teller answered: "Sir, You will die on a Jewish holiday"

Hitler asked back: "How are you so sure about that"

He replied: "Sir, whatever day you die on will be a Jewish holiday"

Jesus fed 6 people with 4 loafs of bread and 2 fish.

However adolf hitler made 6 Million jews toast

What do Dale Earnhardt and Adolf Hitler have in common?

They both died before finishing a race.

Jesus Christ may have fed 2000 people with bread and wine...

But Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast

Adolf Hitler has never touched Call of Duty...

...and yet, he still has a better KDR than me.

Have you heard about the world's most prolific baker?

That's weird, I thought everyone had heard of Adolf Hitler.

What do you call Adolf Hitler's personal gym?

The liftwaffe.

Besides being an famous chief (despite burning everything he cooked), Adolf Hitler was also a star athlete....

He was the fascist kid on the playground.

One day, Adolf Hitler looked outside and saw heavy storm clouds.

Worried, he contacted a meteorologist and asked him what the weather was going to be like.

The meteorologist replied, "Hail, Hitler!"


Before art school, Adolf Hitler tried programming,

but he always got stuck on race conditions.

Yankee Doodle can use other names too

Helen Keller went to town while riding on a pony, stuck a feather in her hat and called it 'UGLABERPL'

Adolf Hitler went to town while riding on a pony, when someone stuck a feather in his hat, he threw it on the ground and screamed 'NIEN!'

Remember, tomorrow is Adolf Hitler's birthday

I've got a cake all ready for him in the oven

Who was Adolf Hitler's least favorite athlete?

O.J. Simpson. Everyone knows Hitler hated The Juice.

Adolf Hitler never took a taxi in his whole life.

He was more of an Uber-mensch.


Adolf Hitler banned 5k races but sponsored an annual marathon...

...Because Marathons are the master race.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the adolf hitler reich jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working adolf hitler nazis piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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