Admit It Jokes
62 admit it jokes and hilarious admit it puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about admit it that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Admit It Short Jokes
Short admit it jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The admit it humour may include short admit jokes also.
- My girlfriend just admitted she used to be a Christian, so I broke up with her. It might seem judgemental, but I have only known her since she was Christine.
- So there was a stork carrying an old man.. ..and the old man turns to it and says:
"Would you at last admit it that we are lost?" - I hate to admit it, but my wife's cooking has seriously improved. ......that was best slice of soup I've ever had!
- People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
- My girlfriend told me I was one in a million My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text message, I had to admit she was right.
- My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp, I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again.
- I once attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt... I'll admit it was a waist of time.
- If you're thinking about joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous remember... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
- I just heard a beautiful poem... "I dig, you dig, we
dig, he dig, she dig,
they dig, we all dig."
I'll admit it's not a very *beautiful* poem, but it sure is deep. - Two mafia hitmen are walking through the forest at night when one of them says "I have to admit, it's pretty scary out here." The other replies, "You think this is bad? I have to walk back alone."
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Admit It One Liners
Which admit it one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with admit it? I can suggest the ones about confess and prove it.
- We cannot allow this year to end That would be admitting that 2021
- Why is Darth Vader so famous? He was the first black man to admit he is the father.
- Justin Timberlake admitted to being dyslexic. Take a moment to let that N'Sync
- I admit I was wrong about how good my chiropractor is. I stand corrected.
- Why did 18 blondes goto the movies. Because it said under 17 not admitted
- I have a dyslexic gay friend but he is refusing to admit it... He's in Daniel
- Darth Vader was the first black guy to..... admit that he's the father
- I'm not a competitive person I'll be the first to admit it.
- They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*
- We cannot allow this year to end Because that will mean admitting that 2021.
- 2020 can't end. Because we'd be admitting 2021.
- At Hypochondriacs Anonymous.... The first step is admitting you don't have a problem.
- The egyptian man wouldnt admit he'd fallen in a river I guess he was in de Nile
- How do you call an alcoholic that doesnt admit the addiction? Jack Denials
- Some people refuse to admit their faults. I would, if I had any.
Admit It Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about admit it you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean let be honest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make admit it pranks.
A Sith, a Jedi, and a Mandalorian walk into a bar...
They start talking and after a few drinks the conversation shifts to cars. The Jedi living a life of austerity and frugality only has a 1991 Camry. The Sith and Mando laughs at him saying he has a Bad Car. The Sith having manipulated others into giving him their wealth shows off his McClaren F1. The patrons at the bar are amazed and even the Jedi has to admit it's a nice ride. They both end up saying it's a Good Car. The Mandalorian walks around the corner and after a few minutes comes screaming back on his jet pack and blows up the other cars. He has the Beskar.
One day a man goes to his wife and says "Honey, I've never said anything before, but I need to know. I've noticed that of our seven children, that Jack looks different from the others. Does Jack have a different father than his siblings?"
The wife says "Yes, I admit it, he does."
The husband says "Who is his father?"
The wife says **"You are."**
A man is convinced is wife is going deaf, but she won't admit it. So he decides to test his theory once and for all.
While she's standing at the sink, he stands about six steps behind her and says, "What's for dinner, dear?"
When there's no answer, he steps a few steps closer and repeats the question.
Again there's no response, so he moves right to his wife's shoulder and asks: "What's for dinner, dear?"
At this his wife turns around angrily and says, "For the third time, sausages!"
I have a friend who everyone knows is gay but he won't admit it.
He'll s**... everything but his pride.
Jon was excited about his new rifle..
... and wanted to try it out, so he went bear hunting. He spotted a small black bear and shot it. There was then a tap on his shoulder and he turned round to see a larger black bear. The black bear said "You've got two choices, I either maul you to death or we have s**...." Jon decided to bend over. Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Jon soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip, found the black bear, and shot it. Immediately, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a big brown bear stood right next to him. The brown bear said, "That was a huge mistake, Jon. You've got two choices. Either I maul you to death or we'll have rough s**...." Again, Jon thought it was better to comply. Although he survived, it was several months before Jon finally recovered. Outraged, he headed back to the woods, managed to track down the brown bear and shot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned round to find a gigantic grizzly bear standing there. The grizzly bear said "Admit it, Jon, you don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest
The CIA, MI5, and the KGB have a contest to see who can find a white rabbit in the forest
The CIA comes in first place, finding the rabbit in fourteen hours. They used contacts, thermal vision, and satellites.
MI5 comes in second place, finding the rabbit in 24 hours using much of the same tactics
The KGB comes in last place. In one hour, they produced a bear, near beaten to death, who said "OK, OK, I admit it, I am a rabbit."
I'll admit it, I often j**... in the bathroom at work.
Some of the guys here think it's strange that I use the u**....
After days of getting the cold shoulder from his wife, Larry finally confronted her.
"Admit it," he said. "The only reason you married me is because my grandfather left me a million dollars."
"Don't be ridiculous!" she shot back. "I don't care who left the money with you."
What so you call a corpse that won't admit it's own sexuality?
A skeleton in the closet.
I hate people who use the wrong words in a sentence and don't correct themselves
They sometimes should have the humidity to admit it.
Which vegetable does everyone hate whether they admit it or not?
Kim Jong-un
A retired priest and a retired rabbi are friends in a reitrement home...
One day, the priest says to his rabbi friend, "Tell me, honestly, have you ever tried bacon?" The rabbi shrugs and says "Yes, in my youth, I gave into temptation and I had bacon, but tell me my friend, have you ever had s**...?" The priest shrugs and says "I too, in my youth, gave into temptation." The rabbi leans over and smiles "Admit it, it's better than bacon."
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Hay fever
Admit it, you thought I was gonna say pilgrims, didn't you?
I'll admit it, I'm a white Redditor who has no black friends.
Come to think of it, I don't have any friends.
Did you hear about the New Mexican woman who stuck a banana up her nose?
Yeah, you've got to admit it, Alba's quirky.
So my friend told me I had a really bad sense of direction the other day
I hate to admit it, but he was left
s**... with Bill Cosby is like watching Ghost Dad.
You'll fall asleep two minutes in, and won't want to admit it happened for the next 30 years.
Lance Armstrong finally admitted to doping...
...at least he had the ball to admit it.
To err is human...
To admit it, now that's a mistake!
This time little Johnny got 10/10 in his homework!
Teacher: admit it Johnny, your mother helped you!
Johnny: no She didn't help me, she did it all alone.
Okay I admit it, I'm pansexual
I mean who isn't with their s**... little handles and perfect round insides. And don't even get me started on skillets.
Did you hear about the Egyptian who fell in a river and wouldn't admit it?
He was in de Nile.
Parenting 101
1. Pour milk on floor.
2. Ask which kid did it.
3. Send them to their rooms when they don't admit it.
4. Enjoy peaceful evening.
"I admit it, I have a tremendous s**... drive. My boyfriend lives forty miles away."
I hate to admit it but my views on life in the arctic
are very polarised.
A stork is carrying a 80 year old man.
At some point, the old man says to the stork: "Come on, admit it, we're lost."
Admit it, guys
Miyamoto only named the series after Zelda to flex on Tolkien's ghost.
What does your mom and a Razor scooter have in common?
Everybody rode her, but won't admit it.
I cornered my dad You like dressing like woman, admit it! He was ashamed and asked how I knew?
He's too transparent
What's black, white and red all over?
A skunk in a blender. I will admit it smells terrible.
I hate marathons, I can't stand the Tour de France, and I think Formula 1 is the worst.
I admit it, I'm raceist.
There are two types of guys: those who pee in the shower and those who don't admit it.
What do you call a cervine that can't admit its love?
Tsun-deer.
I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie woooorld
admit it, you read that in an annoying high pitch voice
Anybody have bad credit?
Yeah I wouldn't admit it either...
#who ya gonna call?
Admit it, your mind said *GHOSTBUSTERS*
Feminists are
Feminists are basically l**... who don't want to admit it.
Just Admit it
Your biggest lie was & still is : "I have read and agrees\d to the terms of service."
Stalin was giving a speech.
and in the middle of his speech, someone in the audience sneezed. Stalin abruptly stopped talking and asked who sneezed? But everyone was too terrified of the consequences to admit it. Stalin makes the first row of people stand up, and asks again, who sneezed? No on admits to being the one to cause this interruption. Stalin has the entire first row executed on the spot. He tells the second row to get on their feet and asks the same question. Again, no one is willing to admit fault or even tattle on their fellow comrade. Stalin has the second row executed. He then asks the third row to stand. Finally, a man comes forward and admits guilt. Stalin says "bless you" and continues on with his speech.
Which car will you get in heaven?
Three guys are standing in heaven, their names are Greg, James, and Tony. They are at a car dealership, and an angel asks them "were you faithful to your wives?" Greg answers "yes, I never cheated on my wife." He is given a new Lamborghini. The angel then asks James if he ever cheated on his wife. He says "once, and I am ashamed to admit it." He is given a Toyota Corolla. The angel then asks Tony, and he says "yes, lots of times." He is given an old Morris Marina.
A few days later, Tony sees Greg sitting on a park bench, and Greg is crying. Tony Asks Greg "you were given a Lamborghini the other day, why are you crying?" Greg responds "I just saw my wife, they gave her a pair of roller skates."
To err is human...
To admit it is not.