Admission Jokes
28 admission jokes and hilarious admission puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about admission that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Admission Short Jokes
Short admission jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The admission humour may include short entrance jokes also.
- A case study has found trampolines are involved in half of all ER admissions for under-14's. The authors said the problem is tumbling out of control.
- The nurse at the admissions desk kept misrecording each patient's blood-types.. His inability to use a keyboard definitely resulted in a whole lot of Type-Os!
- Did you hear about the emo who appealed for admission into Harvard? He didn't make the cut
- Today I asked the Director of Admissions at my University what the best thing about her job was... And she said, "Well, I gotta admit..."
- I tried to buy admission to the World-famous Knife Museum... ...but people kept cutting in line.
- Have you seen the new ticket prices for Alton Towers? Admission now costs an arm and a leg!
- Not sure why everyone is freaking out that Trump has his Finger on the Nuclear Button... By his own admission; this isn't the first time his hands have been somewhere they shouldn't
- Miley Cyrus So Miley Cyrus entered a rehab treatment facility last week but was denied admission because they didn't think it would "twerk" out
- According the United States National Tourism Office Wal Mart is the greatest place you can take your family to see the kind of people you used to have to pay admission to see in a freak show.
- I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy. I'll call it l**...-Con.
Half price admission for the wee folk.
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Admission One Liners
Which admission one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with admission? I can suggest the ones about admit and reception.
- Which concert costs 45 cents for admission? 50 cent Feat. Nickleback.
- What did the Office of Admissions say to the recently-accepted Urology student? "Ur-ine!"
- 50 SHADES ADMISSION 82% of women have admitted to reading 50 Shades of Grey with one hand
- Sure, I've seen people like you before, but I had to pay an admission fee.
- What do you call an instigated ticket? An inclination of 1080p admission.
- I got free admission for life at SeaWorld For being an Orca Whale.
- Thank goodness! Testimony from your parrot is not admissible in court.
- I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!
- If h**... wanted to keep the Jews out of Germany He should have just charged admission
Cheeky Admission Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about admission you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tuition jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make admission pranks.
A Pakistani boy took...
.... admission in an American school ...
Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir
Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.
Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?
Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.
Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school all bruised ...
Teacher : What happened Johnny ?
Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.
A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .
A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .
Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Zain.
Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today. Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Zain?
Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny. Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised .
Teacher : What happened Johnny ?
Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.
A couple dies and goes to heaven
They are greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter. As they are being processed for admission they decide to ask Saint Peter if they can get married in heaven.
Saint peter tells them he will find out and get back to them. Finally, after 2 months he returns to the couple and tells them "yes, you can get married in heaven."
The couple then proceeds to ask him "what if it does not work out, can we also get a divorce?" To which Saint Peter tells them, "it took me 2 months to find you a priest, how long do you think it will take me to find you a lawyer?"
A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.
One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".
An elderly woman is moving into a retirement home
As part of the admissions process she has a check-up by the resident doctor. The doctor asks, "So have you been having any problems?"
Woman: "Well, I have noticed something unusual. I have this hole in my chest between my b**...."
Doctor: "Hmm, let me have a quick look."
The woman lifts up her blouse.
The doctor bends over to take a closer look, and she says, "Oh you really have nothing to worry about. It's just your belly button."
An Australian enters a Chess competition
To pay for admission, he writes a check to the organizers. He walks up to a man at the entrance accepting checks. The man at the entrance says "Do you have your check, mate?" To which the Australian responds "Checkmate? I haven't even started a round"
