The Best 18 Admission Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Admission jokes. There are some admission surgeries jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these admission college admission puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Admission Jokes and Puns

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .

A Pakistani boy took admission in an American school .
Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Zain.
Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today. Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Zain?
Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny. Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up. Next day he was back to school all bruised .
Teacher : What happened Johnny ?
Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

A Pakistani boy took...

.... admission in an American school ...

Teacher : Whats your name ?
Boy : Nadir

Teacher : No, now you are in America, your name is Johnny from today.

Boy went home and his mother asked: How was the day Nadir?

Boy : I am an American now, so call me Johnny.

Mom and Dad both got offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school all bruised ...

Teacher : What happened Johnny ?

Boy: Ma'm, just 6 hours after I became American, I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.

A couple dies and goes to heaven

They are greeted at the pearly gates by Saint Peter. As they are being processed for admission they decide to ask Saint Peter if they can get married in heaven.

Saint peter tells them he will find out and get back to them. Finally, after 2 months he returns to the couple and tells them "yes, you can get married in heaven."

The couple then proceeds to ask him "what if it does not work out, can we also get a divorce?" To which Saint Peter tells them, "it took me 2 months to find you a priest, how long do you think it will take me to find you a lawyer?"

Admission joke, A couple dies and goes to heaven

A farmer who knows a little bit of english wants his son to study at an english school.

One day he takes his son to a local english school for admission. A teacher gives him a form to fill in.He goes on filling the form and despite his bad english he manages to fill all the informations correctly. The last thing asked was to provide his son's
mother tongue. He fills with confidence "very long".

If Hitler wanted to keep the Jews out of Germany

He should have just charged admission


Did you hear about the emo who appealed for admission into Harvard?

He didn't make the cut

I tried to buy admission to the World-famous Knife Museum...

...but people kept cutting in line.

Admission joke, I tried to buy admission to the World-famous Knife Museum...

I want to create a convention for Irish folks who suffer with leprosy.

I'll call it Leper-Con.

Half price admission for the wee folk.

Which concert costs 45 cents for admission?

50 cent Feat. Nickleback.

50 SHADES ADMISSION

82% of women have admitted to reading 50 Shades of Grey with one hand

Have you seen the new ticket prices for Alton Towers?

Admission now costs an arm and a leg!

You can explore admission fee reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean admission retarted dad jokes. There are also admission puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Not sure why everyone is freaking out that Trump has his Finger on the Nuclear Button...

By his own admission; this isn't the first time his hands have been somewhere they shouldn't

An Australian enters a Chess competition

To pay for admission, he writes a check to the organizers. He walks up to a man at the entrance accepting checks. The man at the entrance says "Do you have your check, mate?" To which the Australian responds "Checkmate? I haven't even started a round"

According the United States National Tourism Office Wal Mart is the greatest place you can take your family

to see the kind of people you used to have to pay admission to see in a freak show.

Miley Cyrus

So Miley Cyrus entered a rehab treatment facility last week but was denied admission because they didn't think it would "twerk" out

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven

Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven and were seeking admission. God Himself decided to hear their appeal from His judgement seat.

The St Bernard said "I was a valued rescue dog and helped find those nuns after the avalanche."

"Fine then, you're in," said God.

The collie said, "I was always faithful to my master and brought the family together when they were down."

"Sounds wonderful," said God. "Welcome."

Then it was the cat's turn. "Why should we let you in?" asked God.

"Well actually, I think you're in my chair."

Admission joke, Two dogs and a cat appeared in heaven

What do you call an instigated ticket?

An inclination of 1080p admission.

I got free admission for life at SeaWorld

For being an Orca Whale.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the admission tracksuit jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working admission entries piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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