The Best 27 Admiring Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Admiring jokes. There are some admiring compact jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these admiring magnificent puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Admiring Jokes and Puns
Two rednecks are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.
The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit.
The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.
The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? They're clearly Russian!"
My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I
couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice car," I said as he got out.
"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."
A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian
are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."
A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.
The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"
(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)
I was admiring my naked body in the mirror today, when I said to my wife, "Look at this! 200 pounds of pure dynamite!"
My wife replied, "Too bad about the two inch fuse!"
A geologist was driving down a country road
A geologist was driving down a country road when he saw this beautiful rock formation. He pulled over to get a closer look. As he was admiring the rock, an old farmer drove up. The geologist asked if he knew how long the rock had been here.
The farmer says "in fact, I do! It's a million and 7 years old"
The geologist stunned a bit says "that's oddly specific, how do you know that?"
The farmer goes "well, another feller like you came to look at this same rock and he said it was a million years old. And that was about 7 years ago"
A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in Eden.
The Frenchman says "they must be French, look at them, they are naked and eating fruit". The Brit says "No, they are English, look how politely the man offers the woman the fruit". The Russian says "You are both wrong, they are Russian. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and think they are in paradise
Will You Still Love Me???
Ah, marriage. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror one evening admiring my reflection, when I posed this question to my wife of 30 years: Will you still love me when I'm old, fat, and balding?
She answered, I do.
A brunette gets a bouquet of flowers for valentines day.
The other office women are admiring the flowers as they are delivered to her.
She then smirks and says to the crowd of women gathered around "I guess this means I will be spending the night with my legs in the air."
The blonde then says "Don't you have a vase?"
You can explore admiring portrait reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean admiring adore dad jokes. There are also admiring puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
and I couldn't help but admire it. Nice car, I said as he got out. Well, he said, noticing my admiring looks, Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year.
Was admiring myself in a mirror at the supermarket the other day.
Its ok, I was at the self-checkout.
A tourist was admiring the necklace worn by a local Native American.
"What is it made of?" she asked."Alligator's teeth," the man replied."I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that they mean as much to you as pearls do to us.""Oh no," he objected. "Anybody can open an oyster."
Donald Trump was admiring the Sistine chapel
Trump : this is the bestest painting I've ever seen
Docent : yes indeed Mr. President , it was painted by Michaelangelo ..
Trump : I know the fake news media makes me look like an idiot but I'm not foolish to believe that it was painted by a freaking turtle
I imagine doing a massive shit is a lot like giving birth;
You push and strain really hard, feel happy when it finally comes out, and then there's no greater pleasure then admiring and holding it for the first very first time.
My boss was totally honest with me today...
He pulled up to work this morning in his sweet new sports car and when he saw me admiring it he said "Well, if you work really hard, set big goals and hit them, I can get an even nicer one next year!"
A farmer was sitting in his barn. After a long day he was admiring his work.
Farmer: I love my job
Sheep: Yeah cause all you do is boss us all day
The farmer not believing what just happened
Farmer: What did you just say..!?
Sheep: You herd us.
Let's go way back ...
A salesman really sold me on the their new product. I bought one immediately.
The next day at lunch the guys were admiring my new purchase. "What is it?", they asked.
"It's called a "thermos". The salesman told me that it keeps hot things hot and cold things cold, so of course I bought it."
"Wow. What do you have in it?"
"Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."
Everyone was admiring me in the gym while I was working out.
I think they liked my new suit and tie.
Pricey set of teeth
A tourist was admiring a tribal necklace at a gift shop during her honeymoon in India.
"What is it made of?" she asked.
"Crocodile teeth" the salesman beamed.
"I suppose," she said patronizingly, "that crocodile teeth mean as much to you as pearls do to us"
"Of course not!" he objected.
"Anybody can open an oyster"
Mirror Mirror
A man is admiring himself in the mirror. As he flexes and checks himself out he says, An inch more and I'd be king.
The mirror begins laughing, An inch less and you'd be a queen.
Sherlock Holmes and Watson are out hunting some rocks
Sherlock picks up a rock, admiring it. Watson asks, "What kind of rock is that? Igneous?"
Sherlock replies, "Sedimentary, my dear Watson. Sedimentary."
Selfless until the end.
For Pontius Pilate's birthday, the Roman soldiers lined the street to his house with Jews nailed to crosses. Walking slowly, Pilate was admiring the gesture, when he spotted Jesus on the last cross... he was was muttering something. Pilot exclaimed "fetch me a ladder! if the King of the Jews has something to say, I want to hear it!" Reaching the top of the ladder, Pilate moves in close to hear Jesus in a dry, half-audible voice, singing "Happy birthday to you..."
I caught a man staring into my car the other day...
When I confronted him of his suspicious behaviour he said: "I was merely admiring the handsome man in your car."
Just been admiring the French battle flag..
It's a white cross on a white background.
First time on a plane.......
A man got into a plane for the first time ,as he was admiring the view outside he saw something and said to the person sitting beside him "Its my first time on a plane ,and my friends told me people really look like ants from here and its true"and the person sitting beside him said "You Idiot!,we haven't flown yet ,that's a real ant!"
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the admiring admirable jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working admiring admiration piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.