Loads of Fun with Charming Humor Admire Jokes
My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I
couldn't help but admire it.
"Nice car," I said as he got out.
"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."
Joey the altar boy goes to confession and says...
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.
'And who was the girl you were with?'
'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.
"Well, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
'I cannot say.'
'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'
'I'll never tell.'
'Was it Nina Capelli?'
'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'
'Was it Cathy Piriano?'
'My lips are sealed.'
'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'
'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'
'Four months vacation and five good leads.'
Confession
Matthew goes into a confessional box and says "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman."
The Priest says "is that you Matthew?"
"Yes father, it is I."
"Who was the woman you were with?"
"I cannot tell you for I do not wish to sully her reputation."
The priest asks "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"No father."
"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"
"No father."
"Was it Ann Brown?"
"No father, I cannot tell you."
The priest says "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."
Matthew goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and asks "What did you get?" Matthew replies "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads."
The Inventor of Stereo
steps back to admire his work and says "Let's see how this pans out."
I really admire people who can joke about themselves
so I made up this joke....It starts "I have Alzheimer's ...
The Priest and the Altar Boy
'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'
The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'
you really have to admire brits who voted to leave
They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves.
Gotta admire the Nazi's ethics on medical research...
...since they advanced the field without hurting any animals.
2 lawyers are walking back from lunch
When a stunningly beautiful young woman passes them, they turn and admire her from behind, then one says to the other "Man, I'd really love to screw her." His associate asks "Out of what?"
I really admire Van Gogh's work
His early ears were probably his best!
Why did the stoner admire himself in the mirror everyday?
Because he has a high opinion of himself
You can explore admire esteem reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean admire woven dad jokes. There are also admire puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Ya know, working 3+ years in a pizza shop, I've grown to admire the comradery of pepperoni. Especially on these hot days.
They really stick together!
I actually admire Lance Armstrong finally admitting to using steroids.
It must have really taken ball to admit.
I really admire suicide bombers
because they're all successful.
Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...
ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ... CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!
My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
and I couldn't help but admire it. Nice car, I said as he got out. Well, he said, noticing my admiring looks, Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year.
Charron, the ferryman of the dead, has a tough job
I admire him though. He really Styx with it
A man goes to a party
And he says to the host "I admire your gold toilet seat."
The host says "I have no gold toilet seat, but you're the man who pooped in my tuba."
People who tell you it's disgusting to eat hotdogs because they're made of the discarded parts of the pig are the same people who admire the Native Americans for using the whole animal.
The reason I pee…
…is to admire my schlongdong.
If there is one thing that I admire from a T.Rex
It is that they'll never stay arms-crossed.
My classmates admire me because I do not believe the earth is round.
It is quite flattering.
What type of poo has great smell, so great that you might smell it again and admire it?
Shampoo
Three men are stranded on an island always covered in fog.
One is 20 years old, one is 40 and the third one is 60. After a few months, out of nowhere, the fog goes away, and they can see that not far from where their island, there was another island full of young naked women.
"Quickly, let's swim to them" says the youngest.
"Why don't we wait for them to swim to us" says the 40 years old one.
"Why don't we just admire them from afar?" says the 60 years old man.
You have to admire Amish people for their great sense of self-derision. You can find tons of jokes making fun of them on Reddit...
But you never see one of them writing a disapproving comment below.
I always admired my grandfather. He had the heart of a lion and the brain of a eagle.
He also had a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A joke for Monday…
My boss pulled up in his brand new Lexus today and I couldn't help but admire it.
Nice car, I said as he got out.
Well, he said, noticing my admiring looks, If you work hard, put the hours in, and really strive for excellence, then…..
I'll have an even better one next year.
I really admire people who keep going despite being in a lot of debt
They really deserve a lot of credit
