Admire Jokes

Following is our collection of esteem humor and admirable one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Admire puns for adults, dirty woven jokes or clean adore gags for kids.

There is an abundance of forgiveness jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes on admire. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any applaud witze you can hear about admire.

The Best jokes about Admire

My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I
couldn't help but admire it.

"Nice car," I said as he got out.


"Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."

The Priest and the Altar Boy

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'

you really have to admire brits who voted to leave

They were so worried about immigrants ruining their economy than they preempted it by doing it themselves.

Joey the altar boy goes to confession and says...

β€Ž'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl'.

'And who was the girl you were with?'

'I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation'.

"Well, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?

'I cannot say.'

'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?'

'I'll never tell.'

'Was it Nina Capelli?'

'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.'

'Was it Cathy Piriano?'

'My lips are sealed.'

'Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?'

'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.'

Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?'

'Four months vacation and five good leads.'

Confession

Matthew goes into a confessional box and says "Bless me father for I have sinned, I have been with a loose woman."

The Priest says "is that you Matthew?"

"Yes father, it is I."

"Who was the woman you were with?"

"I cannot tell you for I do not wish to sully her reputation."

The priest asks "Was it Brenda O'Malley?"

"No father."

"Was it Fiona MacDonald?"

"No father."

"Was it Ann Brown?"

"No father, I cannot tell you."

The priest says "I admire your perseverance but you must atone for your sins. Your penance will be five Our Fathers and four Hail Marys."

Matthew goes back to his pew and his buddy Sean slides over and asks "What did you get?" Matthew replies "I got five Our Fathers, four Hail Marys and three good leads."


A woman walks past a pet shop...

A fairly young widow is walking past a pet shop and she pauses to admire the puppies in the window. As she looks inside, she sees a frog for sale, for Β£1000. She decides to go in and enquire as to why the frog is so expensive.

The pet shop owner says "this frog is a master of oral sex, which is very rare, so he's naturally expensive." The woman is sceptical, so the owner says "look, you can try it out if you like. Come take a seat over here."


The woman walks over and takes a seat, and the frog is placed on the floor in front of her. Nothing happens. The man looks at the frog and says "come on, you know what to do" but, nothing.

So the man turns to the woman and says "maybe it would help if you spread your legs a little, so he can see what he's supposed to do." The woman obliges, but the frog doesnt move.

The shop owner looks at the frog, at the woman, at the frog again, and back at the woman before saying "you know, it might help if you also remove your underwear." The woman removes her underwear and still there is no movement from the frog.

So the shop keeper turns to the frog and says "look, this is the last time I'm going to show you how to do this!"

My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today

My boss pulled up in his brand new Audi today
and I couldn't help but admire it. Nice car, I said as he got out. Well, he said, noticing my admiring looks, Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year.

An Italian Boy's Confession:

'Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.' The priest asks, 'Is that you, little Joey Pagano?' 'Yes, Father, it is.' 'And who was the girl you were with?' 'I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.' "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?" 'I cannot say.' 'Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?' 'I'll never tell.' 'Was it Nina Capelli?' 'I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.' 'Was it Cathy Piriano?' 'My lips are sealed Father.' 'Well then, was it Rosa DiAngelo?' 'Please, Father, I cannot tell you.'

The priest sighs in frustration. 'You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself.' Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, 'What'd you get?' 'Four month's vacation and five excellent Leads.'

Shoe Crack!

Luigi walks to work 20 blocks everyday and passes a shoe store twice every day. Each day he stops and looks in the window to admire the Armani leather shoes. He wants those shoes so much... it's all he can think about. After about 2 months he saves the price of the shoes, $300, and purchased them.

Every Friday night the Italian community holds a dance in the church basement. Luigi seizes this opportunity to wear his new Armani leather shoes for the first time.

He asks Sophia to dance and as they dance he asks her, "Sophia, do you wear red panties tonight?"

Startled, Sophia replies, "Yes, Luigi , I do wear red panties tonight, but how do you know?"

Luigi answers, "I see the reflection in my new $300 Armani leather shoes. How do you like them?"

Next he asks Rosa to dance, and after a few minutes he asks, "Rosa , do you wear white panties tonight?"

Rosa answers, "Yes, Luigi , I do, but how do you know that?"

He replies, "I see the reflection in my new$300 Armani leather shoes... How do you like them?"

Now as the evening is almost over and the last song is being played, Luigi asks Carmela to dance. Midway through the dance his face turns red... He states, "Carmela, be stilla my heart. Please, please tell me you wear no panties tonight. Please, please, tella me this true!" Carmela smiles coyly and answers, "Yes Luigi , I wear no panties tonight..."

Luigi gasps, "Thanka Goda ....I thought I had a CRACK in my$300 Armani leather shoes...!"

2 lawyers are walking back from lunch

When a stunningly beautiful young woman passes them, they turn and admire her from behind, then one says to the other "Man, I'd really love to screw her." His associate asks "Out of what?"

Charron, the ferryman of the dead, has a tough job

I admire him though. He really Styx with it


If there is one thing that I admire from a T.Rex

It is that they'll never stay arms-crossed.

Why did the stoner admire himself in the mirror everyday?

Because he has a high opinion of himself

Albert Einstein and Charlie Chaplin meet...

ALBERT EINSTEIN:- What I admire most about your art, is its universality. You do not say a word, and yet ... ...Β CHARLIE CHAPLIN:- It's true, but your fame is even greater! The world admires you, when nobody understands you!

My classmates admire me because I do not believe the earth is round.

It is quite flattering.

I really admire people who can joke about themselves

so I made up this joke....It starts "I have Alzheimer's ...

Gotta admire the Nazi's ethics on medical research...

...since they advanced the field without hurting any animals.

A man goes to a party

And he says to the host "I admire your gold toilet seat."

The host says "I have no gold toilet seat, but you're the man who pooped in my tuba."

What type of poo has great smell, so great that you might smell it again and admire it?

Shampoo


I actually admire Lance Armstrong finally admitting to using steroids.

It must have really taken ball to admit.

The Inventor of Stereo

steps back to admire his work and says "Let's see how this pans out."

People who tell you it's disgusting to eat hotdogs because they're made of the discarded parts of the pig are the same people who admire the Native Americans for using the whole animal.

The reason I pee…

…is to admire my schlongdong.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes