Adjust Jokes

44 adjust jokes and hilarious adjust puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about adjust that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Adjust Short Jokes

Short adjust jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The adjust humour may include short alter jokes also.

  1. As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time" I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
  2. Stopped to put air in my tires today. The pump cost $1.50! I remember when those things used to only cost 25 cents. Guess the price has adjusted for inflation.
  3. Balloons For Sale! They're 10c each or if you want them filled its 20c
    Ive adjusted the price to allow for inflation.
  4. Fiddy Cent just had a kid. They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.
  5. A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing...
    'He's like a fish out of water.'
    'You mean he's having trouble adjusting?'
    'No, I mean he's dead.'
    -Mike Close-
  6. My Doctor just advised me to quit drinking. This is going to be really difficult and a big adjustment... I've been with this Doctor for 35 years.
  7. An airplane yells at his son "If you don't get an attitude adjustment immediately you're going to get grounded."
  8. What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common? Both have had to adjust for inflation.
  9. How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation? Pls help me. The size of the problem is growing by the second.
  10. If I bought a balloon for $0.99... How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?

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Adjust One Liners

Which adjust one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with adjust? I can suggest the ones about fits and changer.

  1. What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device? He adjusts the volume.
  2. I used to think chiropractic adjustments didn't work. I stand corrected
  3. I got my back adjusted a practitioner of ancient egyptian medicine A Cairo-practor
  4. I asked my boss for a raise... He bought me an adjustable chair
  5. Why did balloon prices keep rising? Because they had to adjust for inflation.
  6. If you adjust your posture based on someone's recommendation, Do you stand corrected?
  7. What do you call an Egyptian who adjusts spines? A cairo-practor
  8. How do Polka musicians improvise? They adjust accordianly.
  9. Ever wonder why tires are so expensive these days? They have to adjust for inflation.
  10. What do you call an Egyptian spine adjuster? A Cairopractor
  11. Want to avoid hangovers? Keep drinking forever. your liver and wallet will adjust.
  12. If I owned a chiropractor group-practice... I would call it "The Adjustment Bureau"
  13. I couldn't see land at sea... I adjusted my render distance.
  14. My flight instructor got mad at me today. He said I needed an "attitude adjustment."
  15. I'm well adjusted.... Not emotionally, but I did just see the chiropractor.

Adjust joke, I'm well adjusted....

Giggle-Inducing Adjust Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about adjust you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean balance jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make adjust pranks.

A lady goes to the dentist with a sore tooth.

The dentist looks and says "you have a bad tooth we are going to have to pull it"
The lady says "I would rather be pregnant than have a tooth pulled"
The dentist replies "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair"

A woman goes to the dentist....

and the dentist says "Looks like you need to have a tooth pulled." The woman says "I'd rather have a baby."
The dentist looks at her and says "Make up your mind, I'll have to adjust the chair."

Fish out of water.

I was on the phone to my Grandma the other day and we were discussing how my Grandpa was getting on in the nursing home.
I said, "How is he coping, getting on all right?".
She replied, "Oh, no, he's like a fish out of water..."
So I said, "Aww is he finding it quite hard to adjust?"
She replied, "No, he's dead."

Man finds an HD TV in a Garage Sale

"How much is this TV?" the man said.
The seller responded, "One dollar."
"Wow, only one dollar?"
"Yep, one dollar."
Why is it so cheap?" asked the man.
"Its volume is turned all the way up, and you can't adjust it, it's stuck that way." said the seller.
"So the volume is always turned up?"
"And it's only a dollar?"
"Yes, one dollar."
"Just cause the volume is turned all the way up?"
"Wow! Can't turn that down."

Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful"

Woman to Dentist: "Its so painful. I will prefer to get Pregnant than getting my cavity filled"
Dentist: " Make a Decision, I will adjust the chair accordingly."

A lady goes to the dentist...

... he looks in her mouth and says "that tooth needs to come out".
She says "oh no I'd rather have a baby than have a tooth pulled!!"
He says "ok but make up your mind I need to adjust the chair"

Nervous woman

A woman walked into the dentist very nervously and said, I'm scared. I'd rather have a baby than have my teeth checked.
Fine with me, said the dentist, But I'll have to adjust the chair.

An elderly couple was sitting in church...

when the wife leans over and tells her husband, "I just let out a silent f**.... What should I do?"
The man replies, "First thing you should do is adjust your hearing aid."

A woman walked into the dentist's clinic very nervously and said, "I'm scared. I'd rather have a baby than get a tooth pulled out."

"Fine with me," said the dentist, "but I'll have to adjust the chair."

We put Granddad into a nursing home yesterday

I called Grandma to see how he was doing.

"Oh, dear, he's like a fish out of water!" she told me.

"Is he finding hard to adjust?" I asked.

"No, he's dead."

A well dressed 80yr old man walks into the senior center...

he stops, surveys the room and sees an attractive 70 yr old lady sitting by herself. he adjust his tie and walks over to her.
" So," He says, " do I come here often?"

A man comes across a T.V for sale for $1

He asks the man selling it why its so cheap, he replies "the volume is turned all the way up and you can't adjust it, its stuck that way"
"wow! you can't turn that down"

Banks have been using insects to adjust customers' balances and deal with financial issues.

They're the account ants

A nervous young woman was sitting on dentist chair " I'd rather deliver a baby than having my teeth pulled out "

Dentist " if that's the case , let me just adjust the chair to a better position"

A woman goes to a dentist

This woman goes into a dentist's office, after he is through examining her he says:
"I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth."
The woman then says:
"Ooooohhhh, the pain is so awful I'd rather have a baby!"
To which the dentist replies,
"Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair."

A man is walking down the street and sees another woman selling a television

He asks the man how much for the television, and she says: "one dollar"
"Only a dollar? That's really cheap, how come?" asks the man
"It's so cheap because volumes turned all the way up you can't adjust it stuck that way."
The man says, "wow only a dollar, I can't turn that down"

Grandad went into a nursing home,

so I rang them to see how he was.
Nurse said, "He's like a fish out of water."
I said, "So he's finding it hard to adjust?"
She said, "No, he's dead!"

A dental doctor with patient

A woman says to the dentist "I don't know which is worse having a tooth pulled or having a Baby." The dentist says "Well make up your mind I gotta adjust the chair!"

I've adjusted my insults to be more pc

Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight.

My Balloons

I'm a newly graduated entrepreneur breaking into the party paraphernalia game. I bought a ton of balloons a year ago for 99 cents each. In order to make a profit, how much should I adjust my prices for inflation?

Today I learned my new office chair has the ability to adjust how far the arms stick out.

Guess you could say it's a feature to accommodate to a wider audience

Adjust joke, Today I learned my new office chair has the ability to adjust how far the arms stick out.