Adjust Jokes
42 adjust jokes and hilarious adjust puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about adjust that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Adjust Short Jokes
Short adjust jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The adjust humour may include short alter jokes also.
- As we landed in Saudi Arabia the pilot announced "Ladies and Gentlemen don't forget to adjust your watches to local time" I thought to myself how do I turn it back to the 7th century?
- Balloons For Sale! They're 10c each or if you want them filled its 20c
Ive adjusted the price to allow for inflation. - Fiddy Cent just had a kid. They named him after his father but adjusted for inflation. They call him Buck Fiddy.
- A woman calls the nursing home to see how her father is doing...
'He's like a fish out of water.'
'You mean he's having trouble adjusting?'
'No, I mean he's dead.'
-Mike Close- - An airplane yells at his son "If you don't get an attitude adjustment immediately you're going to get grounded."
- What do the American dollar and the American dress size have in common? Both have had to adjust for inflation.
- How do I determine the cost of a balloon after adjusting for inflation? Pls help me. The size of the problem is growing by the second.
- If I bought a balloon for $0.99... How much should I sell it for when I adjust for inflation?
- I always thought I had anger problems and was anti-social but after spending time on Reddit, I'm apparently well adjusted and normal.
- Banks have been using insects to adjust customers' balances and deal with financial issues. They're the account ants
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Adjust One Liners
Which adjust one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with adjust? I can suggest the ones about changer and balance.
- What does the apple user do when he wants to customize his device? He adjusts the volume.
- I used to think chiropractic adjustments didn't work. I stand corrected
- I got my back adjusted a practitioner of ancient egyptian medicine A Cairo-practor
- I asked my boss for a raise... He bought me an adjustable chair
- If you adjust your posture based on someone's recommendation, Do you stand corrected?
- How do Polka musicians improvise? They adjust accordianly.
- Ever wonder why tires are so expensive these days? They have to adjust for inflation.
- Want to avoid hangovers? Keep drinking forever. your liver and wallet will adjust.
- If I owned a chiropractor group-practice... I would call it "The Adjustment Bureau"
- I couldn't see land at sea... I adjusted my render distance.
- My flight instructor got mad at me today. He said I needed an "attitude adjustment."
- I'm well adjusted.... Not emotionally, but I did just see the chiropractor.
- Wife:Isn't hot in here hun? Troll husband : It kinda is, ill adjust the AC.
- I'm so well adjusted and emotionally stable... Yep.
- I realized I needed an altitude adjustment... ...so I booked the next flight out of town.
Giggle-Inducing Adjust Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about adjust you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean assist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make adjust pranks.
A lady goes to the dentist with a sore tooth.
The dentist looks and says "you have a bad tooth we are going to have to pull it"
The lady says "I would rather be pregnant than have a tooth pulled"
The dentist replies "Make up your mind, I have to adjust the chair"
Fish out of water.
I was on the phone to my Grandma the other day and we were discussing how my Grandpa was getting on in the nursing home.
I said, "How is he coping, getting on all right?".
She replied, "Oh, no, he's like a fish out of water..."
So I said, "Aww is he finding it quite hard to adjust?"
She replied, "No, he's dead."
A nervous young woman was sitting on dentist chair " I'd rather deliver a baby than having my teeth pulled out "
Dentist " if that's the case , let me just adjust the chair to a better position"
A man is walking down the street and sees another woman selling a television
He asks the man how much for the television, and she says: "one dollar"
"Only a dollar? That's really cheap, how come?" asks the man
"It's so cheap because volumes turned all the way up you can't adjust it stuck that way."
The man says, "wow only a dollar, I can't turn that down"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I've adjusted my insults to be more pc
Instead of calling people gay, I call them straight.
My Balloons
I'm a newly graduated entrepreneur breaking into the party paraphernalia game. I bought a ton of balloons a year ago for 99 cents each. In order to make a profit, how much should I adjust my prices for inflation?
Today I learned my new office chair has the ability to adjust how far the arms stick out.
Guess you could say it's a feature to accommodate to a wider audience
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the boy say to the girl when they were p**... in the tent?
Can you adjust your strap-on?
Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-five year olds'?
Because there are 20 of them.
I guess you can adjust the tense since, well you know, he's dead and all.
I think they should have adjusted for inflation in the new "It"...
And called him Nickelwise the Clown.
Doctor "your dad's been in a coma for 9 days, we're running out of ideas" me: "let me try" [goes to adjust thermostat]
dad: [opens one eye] "You better not be turning that heating up!"
When travelling the world and you forget which way you adjust for time zones, just watch the news...
...and then you'll clearly see that America is living in the past.
The FDA still bases Percent Daily Values on a 2,000 calorie diet...
They really need to adjust for inflation.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Just before the love-makin' starts on a honeymoon...
The man says to the woman: "Y'know honey, I know we rushed into this wedding. I have to tell you a big secret of mine. It's very important that you know this about me... I am obsessed with golf. Everything I do is about golf. I eat sleep and dream thinking about golf."
The woman says: "Oh that's alright! I'm glad you brought this up. I have a secret to tell you too... OK here goes... I'm a h**...."
The man says: "That's easy to fix, if you adjust your grip and swing you'll be fine."
A Husband working in UK wrote to his wife in India.
Dear Sunita Darling,
I can't send you my salary this month because the global market crisis has affected
my Company's performance, so I am sending 100 kisses.
You are my sweetheart, please understand and adjust with this situation.
Your loving husband,
His wife replied
Hey hubby
Thanks for the 100 kisses.
Below is the list of expenses I paid with the Kisses
1. The Milk man agreed on 2 kisses for one month's milk.
2. The electricity man, agreed not to disconnect only after 7 kisses.
3. Your landlord comes every day to take 2 or 3 kisses instead of
the monthly rent.
4. Supermarket owner did not accept kisses only,so I gave him other items, I hope
you understand.
5. Miscellaneous expenses 40 kisses.
Please don't worry about me, I still have a balance of 35 kisses and I hope I can
survive the month using this balance.
Shall I plan the same for the next month?
Your
I doubt this is what the financial advisors meant when they told Lays to...
adjust for inflation.
