Address Jokes
146 address jokes and hilarious address puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about address that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Jokes about addresses can be a great way to bring a smile to someone's face. From mistyping your email address to Facebook address jokes, we've got a collection of fun address jokes to share. Check out these jokes about MAC addresses, the Gettysburg Address and more.
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Funniest Address Short Jokes
Short address jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The address humour may include short area jokes also.
- Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".
"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".
"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting". - My wife says the salad I make tend to be a bit on the dry side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.
- How many programmer does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. We don't address hardware issues.
- Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot has changed... like my name, phone number, address, etc.
- When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed. Things like, my job, my phone number and my address
- I should never have given my real email address to Rolex. Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.
- The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.
- Do you know why hindu worship Lord Ganesha first Because we have to first address the elephant in the room
- A German is at the border to go to Poland. The officer asks him:
Name?
Hans Gruber.
Address?
123 SpiegelStrasse, Berlin
Occupation?
Nein, just visiting. - I told my son, I always wanted to give you a lesson on how to make a salad. Son: Why?
Me: That's something that needs addressing.
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Address One Liners
Which address one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with address? I can suggest the ones about contact and direction.
- I've got my doctorate in palindrome. I'm now addressed as Dr.Awkward
- What does a house wear? Address!
- Where is a tech support's bathroom located? At their I Pee address!
- If your house doesn't have house numbers on it, You need to address that situation.
- I asked my dad what our IP Address was... He just pointed at the toilet.
- Bland salad is a problem. It needs addressing.
- What's an Italian chef's favorite speech? Spaghettysburg address.
- What did the house wear to the party? Address.
- How do you address an audience full of dried seeds? "Ladies and lentil-men...."
- My best dad joke What did the house wear on her date?
Address - My eyesight improves if I strap an address book to my face. I wear contacts.
- How do you address the queen of cows? Your moojesty.
- I was going to give a public address but I lost my speaking notes I was speechless!
- What does a home wear? ...Address
- What do you call the numbers on the door to the restroom near IT? The IPee address
Email Address Jokes
Here is a list of funny email address jokes and even better email address puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Be careful about emails from weird addresses with long links or strange files attached They could be from your parents
- Can you recommend me a GDPR expert? –Yes!–Can I have their email address?–No
- Just got yet another email from the patron saint of copying people in I should never have given my email address to St Francis of a CC
- Is your business interested in reaching a larger and wider audience? Pm me for my ex wife's email address
- Just got asked if I knew a good GDPR consultant Me: Yes I do, he's a good friend.
Them: Can I have their email address?
Me: No - What's John Cena's email address? youcantspamme@wwe.com
- What is the pope's email address? urbi@orbi.va
Ip Address Jokes
Here is a list of funny ip address jokes and even better ip address puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A hacker once told me my full name and IP address Jokes on him, I already knew both of those things
- Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom? She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.
- When you talk about IP addresses of an iPad Do you call it iPaddress?
Address Bar Jokes
Here is a list of funny address bar jokes and even better address bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- So, I met someone in this address bar lately and he said... Hi, my name is URL.
Gettysburg Address Jokes
Here is a list of funny gettysburg address jokes and even better gettysburg address puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I just had the most clueless Uber driver in Gettysburg, PA He didn't even know the address.
- I'm not putting any Halloween or Christmas stuff in my yard this year. I'm just going to stand on my back porch reciting the Gettysburg address. That will be my deck oration.
- The mailman was confused by President Lincoln's orders. He was told to deliver to the Gettysburg Address.
- Super Bowl 51 will go down as the Gettysburg Address of the NFL Four score and 20 minutes to go.....
- Gettysburg Address What does a house in Gettysburg always have?
A Gettysburg address - Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address? Because he's dead.
Hilarious Address Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about address you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean site jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make address pranks.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The s**... b**... instructor
It's 2:00 PM at the s**... bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:
"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."
Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?
He had a killer final draft.
An IPv4 address walks into a restaurant...
He says "Quick, give me a drink. I'm exhausted"
My friend decided to take up wood working and he heard this joke at his new work place
A joiner makes sure that what he makes fits with the rest down to the tenth of a millimeter.
A carpenter makes sure it fits down to a millimeter.
A mason makes sure it fits down to the centimeter.
If the painter makes it to the right address, it's a good thing.
Yes ma'am, my address is 391 Easy Street...
...that's 'E' as in Eye, 'A' as in Are, 'S' as in Sea, and 'Y' as in You.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The successful entrepreneur was constantly in demand for after-dinner speeches and could never find the time to prepare his own material.
His assistant always wrote the speech. It was at the annual conference that he was called upon to give encouragement to small businesses.
After the meal, the entrepreneur stood up to address the audience. "Ladies and gentleman. There are three main areas of tension in today's small businesses. The first is the problem of not paying competitive salaries ..."
He then turned to the next page and read out, "From now on, you unappreciative pig, you're on your own ..."
A floating spider web...
has a missing web address.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a neckbeard address a black person?
M'**...
Santa at an interview in an IT Company.
Manager: Do you know MS Office? Santa: If you give me the address, I will go there sir.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Don't look at the address bar g**...
...So they did.
(I'll bet you're curious what the actual title is. Wait til April 2nd to find out!)
After much discussion, it was decided that Korea would divide its capital city into two, half for North and half for South, the job of splitting the city went to some unusual ministers: Cenobites. In their first public address about their new task, they gave their mission statement:
"We'll tear your Seoul apart"
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children any-more. ....
Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children any-more. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
Why is it that nobody ever wants to address 'the elephant in the room'?
Leaving my wife out of conversations is just plain rude.
If people are worried over having Note 7's at home...
Just imagine how the delivery guy driving them to the recall address feels.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many cross-dressers live near Manchester?
Well, nearly 320,000 people round there have a Wigan address.
What do Network+ certified dogs say?
"Address Resolution Protocol! Address Resolution Protocol!"
The day my wife found out she was pregnant, everything changed...
My name, my phone number, my address, and my country of residence.
For Trump's Inaugural Address he should petition Soul Coughing for a remix...
'*Move aside, and let the mango through, let the mango through...*'
I'm sitting in a bar having a drink ...
... and I see man fall down. I go over and pick him up. "Bartender, do you know where this man lives? I'll give him a lift home." He tells me where he lives. I grab the guy, pull him down to the car, put him in the car, he falls into the backseat. I get to the address, pull the man out, he falls down three more times, I pick him up each time. I knock on the door, his wife answers. I say "I brought your husband home." She says "Where's his wheelchair?"
Meghan Trainor's business cards' must be pretty simple.
Name: No
Number: No
Affiliation: No
Contact address: No
How do you address a Black Farmer?
Through his owner.
Three Drunks Get into a Taxi
Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"
The first drunk tips him £10 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him £20 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"
I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events
Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.
Snoop Dogg should have given the official response to Trump's Presidential Address to Congress...
He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone.
Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)
• Drinkand Dr.
• Vicious Circle
• West 943,185th Street
• Psycho Path
• Peoples Ct.
• Nofriggin Way
A girl was into bestality. One day her parents walked in on her, they all fell silent.
But someone had to address the elephant in the room!
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
How do you address a recently-divorced alcoholic?
"Beerly Deloved"
I can't find the army base, so I've typed the address into my GPS.
Apparently I need to go left, left, left, right, left.
What did the memory address say to the program when the program was giving advice to it?
Thanks for the pointer!
Why did Trump hold a Presidential Address tonight?
He couldn't stand the Sun trying to take away the spotlight of of him today.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Remember safe s**... rules
Don't tell your name or address
Who do dyslexic kids address their Christmas list to?
Satan.
My wife and I decided we don't want to have kids anymore.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their address and phone number and we'll bring you one.
What is the tastiest speech ever given?
The Spaghettisburg Address!
What does a dieing star say before collapsing into a blackhole?
This story has encouraged me to address other things about my life. I choose now to live as a gay man.
Why was the newspaper delivery boy so satisfied?
He always knew how to address his issues.
Started a new job as a delivery man today...
When I got to my first address, there was a little sticky note left on the door saying, "Dear Mr Delivery Man, we're out, please hide in garage."
That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a s**... was giving you orders...
Would you address them as "your highness"?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do the people of Arendelle adress Queen Elsa?
"All **hail** the queen!"
*address (typo in the title)
Who has a Pennsylvania address and four dads?
Lincoln.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.
A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:
cop: name?
Otto: Otto
cop: address?
Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin
cop: Occupation?
Otto: no, just visiting...
How to start a fiscally successful church:
Step 1: Learn how to converse with your God
Step 2: Do That
Step 3: Prophet!!!
For an introductory guide on how to talk to your God please send 9.99 to my church address. Email for details.
Many things have changed...
Many things have changed since I became a dad...
My phone number, my address.
Mr.Bates gets a butler
(My dad told me this joke)
Butler:Good Morning Mr. Bates.
Bates: Please address me as master from now on
Butler: My sincere apologies Master Bates...
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How does a neckbeard address his cooking utensils?
M'ladle
A brunette and a blonde visit a motel
Before they go in, brunette warns her friend "Don't fill in your own address. Pick some European country. They won't know the difference.".
In the form brunette states her country of origin as "Hungary" while the blonde, trying to remain inconspicuous, writes "Thirsty".
A stressed Referee goes to a psychologist
He breaks down in front of the doctor, complaining about feeling depressed, and loathed, always disappointing somebody no matter what he does. The doctor is highly sympathetic, and offers comfort - "It must be so hard, I'm glad you came to me. I can help" The doctor starts writing something on a piece of paper and says "Go to this address, and tell the optometrist I sent you".
My wife asked me to address the elephant in the room
Apparently addressing her as my wife was wrong
A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....
The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.
When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"
Breakthrough on the packages sent to Soros, Obama and Clinton
The return address was listed as 1600 Pennsylvania Ave
Everyone keeps talking about racial intolerance. It's time we address lactose intolerance.
can't believe this is still a problem in 2018. Justice for dairy products
Why is Harry Style's favourite bus in a CPU the Address Bus?
It only works in one direction.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to practice safe s**...:
Give her a fake name and address.
Why is the sirloin the king of steaks?
It's the only one you have to address as sir
My wife began to address the elephant in the room.
I asked her why she was talking to herself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Everyone needs to forget China's negligence and address the real cause of covid 19
Violent video games
What does my house where?
Address
I have this crush on a girl at work, so I got her address
She seemed a little creeped out when she saw it was a wedding dress though.
A man gets arrested for selling alcohol without a permit. He gets a lawyer who tells to not to worry, he's got a fool-proof defense. The day of the trial arrives, and the lawyer address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, take a good long look at my client...
...do you think, if he had even a drop of alcohol in his possession, that he would sell it?
I can't find home...
I don't know how to address it
House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation.
Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you tell a t**... is from Lancashire?
They have a Wigan Address
