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Address Jokes

151 address jokes and hilarious address puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about address that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Jokes about addresses can be a great way to bring a smile to someone's face. From mistyping your email address to Facebook address jokes, we've got a collection of fun address jokes to share. Check out these jokes about MAC addresses, the Gettysburg Address and more.

Funniest Address Short Jokes

Short address jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The address humour may include short area jokes also.

  1. Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".

    "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".

    "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
  2. Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".
    "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".
    "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
  3. My wife says the salad I make tend to be a bit on the dry side. It's definitely something that needs addressing.
  4. How many programmer does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. We don't address hardware issues.
  5. Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot has changed... like my name, phone number, address, etc.
  6. Ever since my girlfriend got pregnant, everything in my life has changed. My phone number, my address, my name. Everything.
  7. When my girlfriend got pregnant, everything changed. Things like, my job, my phone number and my address
  8. I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot". What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.
  9. So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby... My name, address and telephone number.
  10. I should never have given my real email address to Rolex. Now I'm forever placed on some kind of watch list.

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Address One Liners

Which address one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with address? I can suggest the ones about contact and direction.

  1. When my wife got pregnant everything changed My name, my address and my phone number
  2. I've got my doctorate in palindrome. I'm now addressed as Dr.Awkward
  3. What does a house wear? Address!
  4. Where is a tech support's bathroom located? At their I Pee address!
  5. If your house doesn't have house numbers on it, You need to address that situation.
  6. What would a house wear? Address
  7. I asked my dad what our IP Address was... He just pointed at the toilet.
  8. Where is the bathroom for I.T people located? At the I pee address.
  9. A house without numbers on it… is something that needs to be addressed.
  10. Bland salad is a problem. It needs addressing.
  11. What's an Italian chef's favorite speech? Spaghettysburg address.
  12. What did the house wear to the party? Address.
  13. How do you address an audience full of dried seeds? "Ladies and lentil-men...."
  14. My best dad joke What did the house wear on her date?
    Address
  15. My eyesight improves if I strap an address book to my face. I wear contacts.

Email Address Jokes

Here is a list of funny email address jokes and even better email address puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Be careful about emails from weird addresses with long links or strange files attached They could be from your parents
  • Can you recommend me a GDPR expert? –Yes!–Can I have their email address?–No
  • Just got yet another email from the patron saint of copying people in I should never have given my email address to St Francis of a CC
  • Is your business interested in reaching a larger and wider audience? Pm me for my ex wife's email address
  • Just got asked if I knew a good GDPR consultant Me: Yes I do, he's a good friend.
    Them: Can I have their email address?
    Me: No
  • What's John Cena's email address? youcantspamme@wwe.com
  • What is the pope's email address? urbi@orbi.va

Ip Address Jokes

Here is a list of funny ip address jokes and even better ip address puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A hacker once told me my full name and IP address Jokes on him, I already knew both of those things
  • Yo mama so dumb She thought an IP address was RKelly's house
  • Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom? She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.
  • When you talk about IP addresses of an iPad Do you call it iPaddress?
  • Do golden-shower and watersports f**... sites have URLs? Nope, they just have IP addresses
  • What is h**...'s IP address? holocalhost
Address joke, What is h**...'s IP address?

Address Bar Jokes

Here is a list of funny address bar jokes and even better address bar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • So, I met someone in this address bar lately and he said... Hi, my name is URL.
  • Don't look at the address bar g**... ...So they did.
    (I'll bet you're curious what the actual title is. Wait til April 2nd to find out!)

Gettysburg Address Jokes

Here is a list of funny gettysburg address jokes and even better gettysburg address puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Yo mama so dumb, She thought the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived.
  • I just had the most clueless Uber driver in Gettysburg, PA He didn't even know the address.
  • I'm not putting any Halloween or Christmas stuff in my yard this year. I'm just going to stand on my back porch reciting the Gettysburg address. That will be my deck oration.
  • The mailman was confused by President Lincoln's orders. He was told to deliver to the Gettysburg Address.
  • Super Bowl 51 will go down as the Gettysburg Address of the NFL Four score and 20 minutes to go.....
  • Gettysburg Address What does a house in Gettysburg always have?
    A Gettysburg address
  • Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address? Because he's dead.
Address joke, Why can't Abraham Lincoln remember the Gettysburg Address?

Hilarious Address Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about address you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean site jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make address pranks.

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider

The s**... b**... instructor

It's 2:00 PM at the s**... bomber's academy. The instructor walks into the classroom to address the students:
"Kids, I know you're just back from lunch, and I know you're feeling a bit tired. But please pay very close attention, cause I'm only going to show you this once..."

Why was William Henry Harrison's inaugural address so memorable?

He had a killer final draft.

My friend decided to take up wood working and he heard this joke at his new work place

A joiner makes sure that what he makes fits with the rest down to the tenth of a millimeter.
A carpenter makes sure it fits down to a millimeter.
A mason makes sure it fits down to the centimeter.
If the painter makes it to the right address, it's a good thing.

The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls.

All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name.

an old lady goes to the doctor complaining she is f**... all the time

But at least they are silent and without any smell.
he gives her a pill and tell her to come back in a week.
after a week she returns and tells him "i still f**... a lot but now they smell awful!!"
the doctor tells her "great... now that we fixed your smelling issue, lets address your bad hearing"
i am so so sorry.......

Yes ma'am, my address is 391 Easy Street...

...that's 'E' as in Eye, 'A' as in Are, 'S' as in Sea, and 'Y' as in You.

The successful entrepreneur was constantly in demand for after-dinner speeches and could never find the time to prepare his own material.

His assistant always wrote the speech. It was at the annual conference that he was called upon to give encouragement to small businesses.
After the meal, the entrepreneur stood up to address the audience. "Ladies and gentleman. There are three main areas of tension in today's small businesses. The first is the problem of not paying competitive salaries ..."
He then turned to the next page and read out, "From now on, you unappreciative pig, you're on your own ..."

TIFU by sending my n**... to everyone in my address book

Cost me a fortune in stamps

When I found out my girlfriend was having a baby my life really changed.

specifically my name, address and phone number.

After much discussion, it was decided that Korea would divide its capital city into two, half for North and half for South, the job of splitting the city went to some unusual ministers: Cenobites. In their first public address about their new task, they gave their mission statement:

"We'll tear your Seoul apart"

A German is at the border to go to Poland.

The officer asks him:
Name?
Hans Gruber.
Address?
123 SpiegelStrasse, Berlin
Occupation?
Nein, just visiting.

Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?

Officer in a h**... H1 stop next to a Soldier in a Wrangler:
Officer : "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "Sure, buddy."
Officer: "That's no way to address an officer! Now let's try it again! Do you have change for a dollar?"
Soldier: "No, SIR!"

Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children any-more. ....

Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children any-more. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

Putin lands at Helsinki airport...

...and the immigration officer says "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin". "Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia". "Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
Credit goes to a dude in the Finland thread. Made me laugh.

The day my wife found out she was pregnant, everything changed...

My name, my phone number, my address, and my country of residence.

I'm sitting in a bar having a drink ...

... and I see man fall down. I go over and pick him up. "Bartender, do you know where this man lives? I'll give him a lift home." He tells me where he lives. I grab the guy, pull him down to the car, put him in the car, he falls into the backseat. I get to the address, pull the man out, he falls down three more times, I pick him up each time. I knock on the door, his wife answers. I say "I brought your husband home." She says "Where's his wheelchair?"

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby. For instance my name, address and telephone number!

Three Drunks Get into a Taxi

Three drunks get into a taxi and tell the driver where to go. The driver has an idea of the address so he starts the engine, waits a few seconds and turns off the car. He says, "Alright guys we're here!"
The first drunk tips him £10 and gets out.
The second drunk tips him £20 and gets out.
The third drunk then slaps the driver across the face.
Worried that the drunk had realized the car hadn't moved an inch, he asks the drunk, "What was that for?"
The drunk says, "Control your speed next time. You almost killed us!"

I love February because it contains two of my favorite annual events

Groundhog Day, and the State of the Union Address.
One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to a notoriously unreliable mammal for prognostication with no basis in reality. The other involves a groundhog.

Snoop Dogg should have given the official response to Trump's Presidential Address to Congress...

He has probably participated in more Joint Sessions than just about anyone.

Bros, friends, amigos... If she gives you this for her address, just go ahead and move on. Toss that cocktail napkin away. Move on. THere's other fish in the sea. (feel free to add to the list)

• Drinkand Dr.
• Vicious Circle
• West 943,185th Street
• Psycho Path
• Peoples Ct.
• Nofriggin Way

A girl was into bestality. One day her parents walked in on her, they all fell silent.

But someone had to address the elephant in the room!

Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?

The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"

I can't find the army base, so I've typed the address into my GPS.

Apparently I need to go left, left, left, right, left.

Why did so many KGB officers become cab drivers after the fall of the USSR?

It was very practical! You just had to tell them your name and they already knew your address.

Remember safe s**... rules

Don't tell your name or address

I've changed so much since my GF told me she's pregnant

For example my name, address and even phone number

My wife and I decided we don't want to have kids anymore.

So anybody who wants one can leave us their address and phone number and we'll bring you one.

Started a new job as a delivery man today...

When I got to my first address, there was a little sticky note left on the door saying, "Dear Mr Delivery Man, we're out, please hide in garage."
That was eight hours ago and still nobody's found me.

If a s**... was giving you orders...

Would you address them as "your highness"?

I live in constant fear that Trump will deport my latina mother-in-law

Her address is 1837 3rd St, LA 90023, blue house. She gets off work at 6.

My girlfriend told me she was pregnant and it changed everything...

My name, my phone number, my address.....

Otto the German was driving from Germany to Paris to visit some relatives.

A French cop stops him and asks the usual questions:
cop: name?
Otto: Otto
cop: address?
Otto: 341 Brandenburg Street, Berlin
cop: Occupation?
Otto: no, just visiting...

Many things have changed...

Many things have changed since I became a dad...
My phone number, my address.

Mr.Bates gets a butler

(My dad told me this joke)
Butler:Good Morning Mr. Bates.
Bates: Please address me as master from now on
Butler: My sincere apologies Master Bates...

I just sent a n**... photo to everyone in my address book. I sure won't make that mistake again!

It cost a fortune in stamps!

A stressed Referee goes to a psychologist

He breaks down in front of the doctor, complaining about feeling depressed, and loathed, always disappointing somebody no matter what he does. The doctor is highly sympathetic, and offers comfort - "It must be so hard, I'm glad you came to me. I can help" The doctor starts writing something on a piece of paper and says "Go to this address, and tell the optometrist I sent you".

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder....

The man says to the bartender, "I bet you $100 bucks my parrot can recite the Gettysburg Address!" The parrot squawks a bit and flaps its wings. Furious, the man pays the bartender and returns home.
When they get home the man berates the parrot for failing to perform and the parrot responds, "You fool! Just think of the odds we can get next time!"

My wife began to address the elephant in the room.

I asked her why she was talking to herself.

What is O.J. Simpson's internet address?

Slash slash backslash slash slash escape

Everything changed when my girlfriend got pregnant.

My name, my address, my phone number, even my face (slightly)

I accidentally sent everyone in my address book a n**... photo of myself

Not only was it embarrassing but it cost me a fortune in stamps

I have this crush on a girl at work, so I got her address

She seemed a little creeped out when she saw it was a wedding dress though.

What does a house wear to a party?

Address

A man gets arrested for selling alcohol without a permit. He gets a lawyer who tells to not to worry, he's got a fool-proof defense. The day of the trial arrives, and the lawyer address the jury. Ladies and gentlemen, take a good long look at my client...

...do you think, if he had even a drop of alcohol in his possession, that he would sell it?

House Speaker: I now invite Bill de Blasio, the president of the United States to give his address to the nation.

Bill de Blasio : 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC. Thank you!!

How do you tell a t**... is from Lancashire?

They have a Wigan Address

The Pilot

The pilot gave his normal address to the passengers, this is your captain speaking, we will be ascending to 30000 feet and the flight time is two hours. Unfortunately he forgot to turn off his microphone and he joked to his co pilot that what he would really enjoy was a cup of coffee and a b**.... A hostess rushed to the cockpit to alert the captain about the microphone. A nearby passenger quipped, he also wants a coffee.

Do you know why hindu worship Lord Ganesha first

Because we have to first address the elephant in the room

I started a new job as an Amazon delivery driver today. When I got to my first address there was a note saying 'Dear delivery man, we're out, please hide in garbage'

That was eight hours ago and still no one has found me

advisor: Mr. President, you need to give a Christmas address to the nation.

Trump: Just tell them to send my presents to Mar-a-Lago.

Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book.

Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby

For instance, my name, address, telephone number..

How do you address the queen of cows?

Your moojesty.

When my girlfriend told me she was pregnant, many things in my life changed.

Such as my address, name, phone number, etc.

I told my pregnant wife that everything is going to change after this baby is born.

Like my name, address, phone number.

What do you call the numbers on the door to the restroom near IT?

The IPee address

A corporal needed to use the pay phone but didn't have change.

He saw a private mopping the floor nearby and asked, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" The private replied, "Sure, hang on." The corporal gave him an icy stare and yelled, "That's no way to address your superior! Straighten up and let's try that again! Private, do you have change for a dollar?"
The private stood at attention and boomed, "NO SIR!"

What does a home wear?

...Address

Having a baby

So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we were having a baby. For instance: my name, my address. telephone number.

You know what s**... the most about being a democrat in a republican household?

If you try to address the Elephants in the room, you end up making an a**... of yourself

An officer needed some change so he asked a near by soldier.

Officer: Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: Sure, buddy.
Officer: That's no way to address an officer! Now, let's try it again!
Officer: Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?
Soldier: No, SIR!

A lot of things changed when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant

For instance my name, address, telephone number

Address joke, A lot of things changed when my girlfriend told me she was pregnant

jokes about address