Additional Jokes
33 additional jokes and hilarious additional puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about additional that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Additional Short Jokes
Short additional jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The additional humour may include short extra jokes also.
- UPDATE: United Airlines now offering a new addition to their inflight meals chinese takeout
- (A new addition) What's the difference between an American and a computer? A computer has troubleshooting.
Also,
it can abort. - A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button He had to pay in order to use additional features
- Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing... Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
- My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts, but there is no interest.
- 60th birthday Last year my mother should have been celebrating her , but because of drugs, alcohol and many hard years of addition. we all forgot...
- Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero. Auntman
- I understand wanting to celebrate 11 additional days of Christmas for a total of 12... But all I can ever think about is some poor woman out there got 23 unwanted birds.
- Calculator app My 12-year-old daughter made this up.
She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.
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Additional One Liners
Which additional one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with additional? I can suggest the ones about adding and added.
- I've been sober from math for three weeks. It was a hard addition to get over.
- What do you think about saying 'Awomen' in addition to 'Amen'? No comwoment.
- My gf said that i need to be more affectionate.... So i got an additional gf
- Always invite the math major to the party. They are a great addition.
- Why wasn't Jesus any good at math? Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.
- The addition function on my calculator is broken. I'm nonplussed.
- Im on medication because soy sauce is additive
- In what location are additional entry ways always in demand? Mordor
- What would you call an additional day added to the week? Sumday
- You know how addition is the opposite of subtraction. Well I hit a dog with my car.
- I'm asian With the addition of a cauc.
- I'm so por... ...that I can't even afford an additional o.
(ok, go easy please, lol) - How did the shelf stocker feel after being assigned additional work? More rows!
- Why doesn't each pokemon have an additional poke ball? Testicular cancer
- Tonight on My Strange Addition Man addicted to brake fluid claims he can stop at any time
Entertaining Additional Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about additional you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bonus jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make additional pranks.
Vladimir Putin was being briefed by one of his top generals.
"I've good news and bad news for you this morning, sir."
"Let's hear the good news," the president replied.
"Intelligence reports indicate that the latest additions to the Ukranian arsenal are damaged and outdated, and many won't pose any threat to us at all."
"That's excellent! Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! What's the bad the news?"
The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir."
Please stop including corny details about your family as a blatant ploy to garner additional upvotes and awards by increasing the emotional impact of your post.
This was said to me just now by my 3 year old. So proud! Got a real eye roll from my wife too, so I know it was a good one. Tinged with sadness though, as it reminds me own dad, who went out to get milk and never came back
A teacher was giving a math lesson...
...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
The student replied, "Two dollars."
"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.
"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."
A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a b**... is eight...
Three plus seven, that son of a b**... is ten."
Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.
"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.
Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."
The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b**... is four.
Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
The elementary class was learning about addition...
The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "No, let's try again. Listen carefully. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more."
Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven."
The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?"
Johnny says, "Six."
The teacher says, "Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"
Johnny again says, "Seven."
The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!"
Johnny says, "Because... I've already got a cat!"
Password reset
A man was was unable to log into his online banking account and he pulled up the online chat support.
"I put in my password and I cannot access my account"
"Sorry that password has expired- you must register a new one."
"Did anyone discover that password and hack my computer?"
"No, but your password has expired- you must get a new one."
"Why then do I need a new one as that one seems to be working pretty well?"
"Well, you must get a new one as they automatically expire every 90 days."
"Can I use the old one and just re-register it?"
"No, you must get a new one."
"I don't want a new one as that is one more thing for me to remember."
"Sorry, you must get a new one."
"OK, roses."
"Sorry you must use more letters."
"OK, pretty roses"
"No good, you must use at least one numerical character."
"OK, 1 pretty rose"
"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."
"OK, 1prettyrose"
"Sorry, you must use additional characters."
"OK, 1fuckingprettyrose"
"Sorry, you must use at least one capital letter."
"OK,1FUCKINGprettyrose"
"Sorry, you cannot use more than one capital letter in a row."
"OK, 1Fuckingprettyrose"
"Sorry, you cannot use that password as you must use additional letters."
"OK, 1Fuckingprettyroseshovedupyourassifyoudon'tgivemeaccessrightfuckingnow"
"Sorry, you cannot use that password as it is already being used"
Two genies in a deserted house..
A guy gets lost in a desert and stumbles upon a house s**... bang in the middle of the desert. After ascertaining that it wasn't a mirage, he enters the house and sees three doors and a lamp at the entrance of the house.
He rubs it and out pop two genies, who are very grateful and decide to grant the man three wishes.
"Before you open each of these doors, wish for what you want most and then open the door."
So he goes upto the first door, closes his eyes for a moment and then enters the room to find all kinds of riches.
He follows the same process and enters the second room and is greeted by the most beautiful women in the world all eager to please him in every possible way.
When he finally makes his third wish and enters the third room, a noose appears from the ceiling and within minutes, the man is dead.
As the two genies leave the house and traverse the desert, one of them turns to the other and says sadly, "I just don't understand. He didn't look suicidal. What was his third wish?"
To which the other genie replies, "Yeah I have no idea why he wished to be hung like a black man."
Obligatory addition: *And then the other genie fainted.*
A huge crab walks into a bar...
...and says to the barman, "I demand one pint of lager. I will pay the full price, provided that the following criteria are met. The beer should be served to me within one minute of ordering, and at a temperature of between 6-9 degrees Celsius. The beer should be served in a clean, cold glass and a beer mat must be provided. If the quality of the provided beer does not meet my high standards, you must agree to refund the full amount charged, and provide any additional financial compensation for any discomfort, stress or time wasted."
The barman looks at the crab and says, "why the big clause?"
A man went to a tattooist and requested a tally mark on his back
Every couple of weeks, the same customer came in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks. One day, the tattooist decides to ask: "What are you counting?"
The man says: "The number of tattoos i've gotten"
There is a new t**... religion that hates addition
The Tally Ban
