Entertaining Additional Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
Please stop including corny details about your family as a blatant ploy to garner additional upvotes and awards by increasing the emotional impact of your post.
This was said to me just now by my 3 year old. So proud! Got a real eye roll from my wife too, so I know it was a good one. Tinged with sadness though, as it reminds me own dad, who went out to get milk and never came back
A man downloaded a calculator app, but needed to pay extra to unlock the plus button
He had to pay in order to use additional features
Even now, all this time later, we have to remain calm about the Net Neutrality thing...
Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
Calm down about the Net Neutrality thing...
Paying additional money to access certain sites will give you a sense of pride and accomplishment.
My bank is trying to get people to open additional savings accounts,
but there is no interest.
A man went to a tattooist and requested a tally mark on his back
Every couple of weeks, the same customer came in, always requesting the same tattoo: an additional tally mark on an ever-growing cluster of tally marks. One day, the tattooist decides to ask: "What are you counting?"
The man says: "The number of tattoos i've gotten"
There once was a poet named Stan...
...whose limericks never would scan.
When told this was so,
He'd reply, "yes, I know,
But you see, the thing is, I seem to have gone and gotten myself into this really rather ridiculous habit recently of always trying to cram as many completely unnecessary additional syllables into the last line as I possibly can!"
I understand wanting to celebrate 11 additional days of Christmas for a total of 12...
But all I can ever think about is some poor woman out there got 23 unwanted birds.
Calculator app
My 12-year-old daughter made this up.
She said she got a calculator app for her phone but it didn't give a plus key unless she paid additional fees.
My gf said that i need to be more affectionate....
So i got an additional gf
I'm giving out my personal credit card info to anyone that wants it
It's several shades of blue, very thin, about 3 long and 2 tall with these little raised numbers and letters on it, it has what looks like a SIM card on one end, a WiFi symbol looking thingy on the front, it has a bunch of tiny words and some additional numbers on the back with a solid black section. Have fun shopping folks.
You can explore additional numerical reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean additional establish dad jokes. There are also additional puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Exercise can add years to your life.
This enables you, at 95 years, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $7,000 a month.
It takes up to 5 minutes for Chloroform to work
And it takes additional applications for the desired outcome.
......talk about an awkward evening
Today I found out that I have an additional risk factor for heart disease.
Apparently I am on an oral contraceptive.
Every time my wife is in the mood for sex, I say something stupid and suddenly she has a headache.
A protester who shouted "Donald Trump is a moron!" in front of the White House was arrested by the secret service and given 25 years in prison.
5 years for defamation, the court had announced, and an additional 20 years for leaking top-secret information.
Why does mystery story writer insists upon mixing additional crushed stone while laying the foundation?
So the plot thickens.
What will happen to the EU's computers when Brexit happens ?
They'll have an additional 1 **GB** of free space.
What did the gamer say to his wife after her miscarriage?
You must construct additional pylons.
In what location are additional entry ways always in demand?
Mordor
What would you call an additional day added to the week?
Sumday
A man Walk in to a Bar
A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.
The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.
The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.
A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.
The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.
A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.
The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.
The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"
