Addition Jokes

Following is our collection of complement humor and alongside one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Addition puns for adults, dirty supplement jokes or clean assumptions gags for kids.

There is an abundance of equation jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 23 funniest jokes on addition. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any algorithm witze you can hear about addition.

The Best jokes about Addition

UPDATE: United Airlines now offering a new addition to their inflight meals

chinese takeout

A teacher was giving a math lesson...

...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"

The student replied, "Two dollars."

"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.

"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."

A little boy was doing his math homework and practicing out loud, Two plus six, that son of a bitch is eight...

Three plus seven, that son of a bitch is ten."

Hearing what he was saying, his mother asked him what he was doing. He answered that he was doing his math homework.

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" she asked her son to which he replied yes.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher what she is teaching in math class. The teacher said, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked if she was teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four.

Laughing, the teacher replied, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

The elementary class was learning about addition...

The teacher asks little Johnny, "If I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"

Johnny thinks about it for a few seconds and says, "Seven."

The teacher says, "No, let's try again. Listen carefully. I give you two, Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more."

Johnny spends a few minutes thinking it out, and again says, "Seven."

The teacher says, "Let's try it another way. If I put two apples on your desk, then two more, and then two more, how many apples would you have?"

Johnny says, "Six."

The teacher says, "Good, now if I give you two cats, and Jimmy gives you two more, and then Sally gives you two more, how many cats would you have?"

Johnny again says, "Seven."

The teacher, obviously frustrated, yells at Johnny, "Why do you keep saying seven?!"

Johnny says, "Because... I've already got a cat!"

3 nuns and a blind man.

The nuns just finished building the addition to their monastary, but it still had to be painted. The head nun gave 3 of the nuns the task. She says: "Sisters, make sure you don't get any paint on your robes!" The three nuns decided, since there was no one around, to just strip naked. They ae painting for a while, when they hear a knock at he door. "Who is it?" one of them asks. The man outside replies: "Blind man!" The sisters agree there would be no harm in letting him in, since he is blind. They open the door, and he exclaims: "Woah, Sister! Where do you want these blinds?"


60th birthday

Last year my mother should have been celebrating her , but because of drugs, alcohol and many hard years of addition. we all forgot...

There is a new terrorist religion that hates addition

The Tally Ban

A couple gave their twin boys up for adoption...

...it was a tough decision, but they felt unable to care for them, and decided it was the only way their children would thrive. One of the boys went to a Spanish family, who called their new son Juan. The other went to an Egyptian couple, who named the new addition to their family Ahmal.

20 years past, and the now elderly couple received a surprise in the mail, a letter from Juan, with a recent photo included. The mother was ecstatic, and said to her husband "It is such a blessing to finally see an image of our son, all grown up. I only regret that I cannot see a photo of his brother as well".

The husband said "What are you talking about? They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal!"

Marvel Cinematic Universe just announced their newest addition to their 2015 film that will be released in 2019 starring a transgender hero.

Auntman

I have Apple appliances in every room of my home.

In addition everyone in my household owns an iPhone, iPad or both. We are pretty diligent about keeping all of the devices synchronized with each other. All, except for some reason, the kitchen.

I guess you could say, everything but the kitchen's synch'd.

It's finals week and the only question on the test is "what is 2+2?"

A philosophy major writes a long eloquent response but doesn't bother to actually answer the question.

A math major makes a formal proof that 2=2 and that addition is commutative before using the squeeze theorem to prove that 4≤2+2≤4.

An engineering major knows the answer is 4 but writes down 5 just to be safe.


I bought a 12ft tall multiplication symbol and just realised I can also use it as an addition symbol too.

That's a big plus.

I tried to teach a ghost addition. Despite its efforts, in the end, it could only add 1 at a time.

I was disappointed, but I guess it's the spirit that counts.

In addition to asking presidential candidates for birth certificates, they definitely need to start asking this.

In a high school civics class, they were discussing the qualifications for becoming President of the United States. The requirements are pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen and at least 35 years old.

A blonde girl in the class piped up and began complaining about how unfair it was to require the candidate to be a natural born citizen. In her opinion, that made it impossible for many qualified people to run for the office.

She went on and on, wrapping up her argument with "What makes a natural born citizen more qualified to be President than one born by C-Section?"

Why wasn't Jesus any good at math?

Because he always seemed to get hung up on addition.

My dad told me this one

What do you call a Spanish soldier lying in a field?

Gracias

*And his own addition he's very proud of:*

What do you call 50 Spanish soldiers lying in a field?

Muchos gracias

Gandhi, while he was a great person, had many flaws.

He walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that his feet became very thick, and hard callouses developed on his toes. He often went on long hunger strikes, and even when he wasn't on a hunger strike, he did not eat much and became quite thin and frail. In addition to this, he also was a very spiritual person. Finally, because he didn't eat much and when he did his diet was peculiar, he developed some very smelly breath.

He eventually became known as a super-calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

I found the perfect addition to any kitchen. Blend, mix, chop...even bake!

It's called a wife.

Ow! Dammit, that hurt! Apparently can throw really well too.

New addition to an old joke

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer! (like no idea)

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye-deer!

What do you call a deer that's been hung, draw and quartered? A well-executed eyed-deer! (a well-executed idea)


"Bloodied cricket bat found in Oscar Pistorius' house"




In addition, locals have told police that he was previously sighted with stumps.

The addition function on my calculator is broken.

I'm nonplussed.

A child always caused trouble whenever he didn't do addition problems.

Dad: "Son, why do you like addition so much?"

Son: "It's because I like crossing the line."

Just found out my brother got a second job at a pizzeria in addition to working at a baggle shop.

Guess you could say he is really rolling in the dough.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes