Addictions Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit jokes. They include Addictions puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Addictions

My girflriend was telling me about this guy on Strange Addictions who drinks a gallon of brake fluid every day

I guess the good thing is at least he can stop whenever he wants

A psychologist addresses three mothers, telling them that he brought each of them there to reflect their life addictions.

To the first mother he says, "You have an addiction to sweets, as you named your daughter Candy."

To the second mother he says, "You have an addiction to gambling and money, hence your daughter is named Penny."

And before the psychologist could approach the final mother, she grabs her son by the arm and says "Come on, Richard, we're leaving."

A 96 year old man goes to an addictions therapy meeting...

He listens as each person explains their addiction and then its his turn.

"Hello, my name is Bob and I have a sex addiction," he says. "I have sex at least once a day, sometimes two or three times."

"Hello Bob," says the therapist. "Glad you are here. Never too old to get help."

"Help?" says Bob, "I ain't here to get help. I just came to brag!"

What would one call a movie about meth addictions?

Need for speed.

Three mothers

Are with their children at a psychologist's office. The psychologist addresses the three mothers, telling them he brought each of them there to reflect their life addictions.

To the first mother he says, "You have an addiction to food, as you named your daughter Candy."

To the second mother he says, "You have an addiction to gambling and money, hence your daughter is named Penny."

And before the psychologist could approach the final mother, she grabs her son by the arm and says "Come on, Richard, we're leaving."


Shoutout to all the people that got rid of their addictions to cold turkey

I just think not enough people talk about this epidemy that affects thousands of Americans

An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist

An alcoholic, a smoker and a gay guy go to a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist evaluates their addictions and warns them, "If you indulge in your bad habit ONE MORE TIME, you will drop dead."

So the three men acknowledge his warning and leave the clinic.

As they walked down the sidewalk, discussing their fate, the Alcoholic proclaims, "I don't care what happens to me! I need a drink!" He runs into a bar, takes a shot of whiskey, and drops dead.

The smoker and gay guy--shocked that the psychiatrist was telling the truth--continue walking.

A few minutes later they see a full cigarette burning on the sidewalk. The smoker starts to sweat. And looks over at the gay guy. "I just need ONE MORE drag!"

The gay guy says, "Honey, if you bend down to pick that up, we're BOTH gonna drop dead!"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes