Addiction Jokes

Funniest Addiction Short Jokes

Short addiction jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The addiction humour may include short drug addicts jokes also.

1. My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes, so I asked her, "How can I stop my addiction?" "Whatever means necessary," she replied.
   "No it doesn't," I said.
2. There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery... The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
3. My wife said she is leaving me because of my addiction to anti-depressants... Guess I won't be needing those anymore.
4. My girlfriend said, I am breaking up with you because of your addiction of wearing a different t-shirt every half an hour. I said, Wait! I can change.
5. "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery Addicts Anonymous." "I see a lot of new faces here tonight, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."
6. Help! I can't stop reading fantasy novels with female protagonists... ...I'm a heroine addict.
7. Plastic surgery anonymous "Hello everyone, welcome to plastic surgery addicts anonymous, I see a lot of new faces here today and I have to say I'm really disappointed with you all..."
8. A recent study shows that 9 out of 10 people addicted to brake fluid... ...just can't stop.
9. Gambling addiction hotlines would be so much better if... Every fifth caller was a winner.
10. Did you hear about the guy who dated Supergirl and Wonder Woman? Turns out, he was a heroine addict

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Addiction One Liners

Which addiction one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with addiction? I can suggest the ones about obsession and sobriety.

1. My wife left me because of my gambling addiction But I know I can win her back
2. I'm addicted to seaweed. I must seek kelp.
3. I *SWEAR* I'm not addicted to brake fluid... I can stop whenever I want
4. I was addicted to soap… But now I'm clean
5. I'm addicted to having money in the bank. And I really do suffer from withdrawals.
6. I used to be addicted to thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
7. My struggle with steroid addiction has only made me stronger.
8. The worst part about an apple addiction… Is that you can't go and see a doctor about it
9. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey... ...but then I turned myself around.
10. Do you know why the duck went to narcotics anonymous? He had a quack addiction.
11. I used to be addicted to Tide Pods... But I'm clean now.
12. No, I'm not addicted to taking batteries out of clocks. I can stop at any time I want.
13. I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid.... I can stop any time I want.
14. I know a guy addicted to brake fluid He says he can stop at any time
15. What do you call a drug-addicted duck? A quackhead.

Addiction To Making Jokes

Here is a list of funny addiction to making jokes and even better addiction to making puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Making bread is very addictive First I was enjoying just mixing the ingredients. But after a while I kneaded it.
• I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits... Pulp Fiction
• How do you stop a gambling addict from gambling? Make a bet. They won't refuse.
• I have a confession to make... I'm addicted to the hokie pokie.....
  But it's ok, I've turned myself around.
  And that's really what it's all about.
• Why do recovering addicts make good bankers? They have a lot of experience with withdrawals
• I don't know why I've always been addicted to coins... ...I just can't make heads or tails of it.
• My family is talking to me about my meme addiction. They're trying to make me go to REEEEEEEEEhab.
• What do you call it when you make fun of someone's gambling addiction? Slot shaming.
• C.C. DeVille and Bret Michaels just announced a new song about a yound drug addict who makes barrels Alice Cooper by Poison
• Scoring for an addict whose drug of choice is Mexican food... Makes you taco-dependent. Please get them to rehabanero.

Coffee Addiction Jokes

Here is a list of funny coffee addiction jokes and even better coffee addiction puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I'm very worried about my severe coffee addiction It's been keeping me up every night
• What was the deal the coffee-addict lawyer offered potential clients? Grounds for divorce
• What is a caffeine addict's excuse for drinking coffee in the evening? It's 8:00 somewhere!
• You know I once knew a coffee addict He died and was buried in a CAFFEINE

Nicotine Addiction Jokes

Here is a list of funny nicotine addiction jokes and even better nicotine addiction puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a Wookiee with a nicotine addiction? Chew to' bacca

Addiction Recovery Jokes

Here is a list of funny addiction recovery jokes and even better addiction recovery puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How do southerners speak of addiction recovery? With drawl

Gambling Addiction Jokes

Here is a list of funny gambling addiction jokes and even better gambling addiction puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Why is the Dalai Lama suffering from a gambling addiction? Because he loves Tibet.
• I became addicted to gambling when I visited the Himalayas... What can I say? I like Tibet.
• Studies show that one out of every six friends have a gambling addiction My money is on Peter
• My wife left me today She said I am addicted to gambling. I give you 2:1 odds that she will regret it later.
• My wife just left me because of my gambling addiction... I wonder what the odd are for me winning her back.
• The government say they're going to tackle gambling addiction. Bet you a tenner they don't.
• My friend told me he has a gambling addiction... ,,bet you can't quit"
• They say that one in every seven friends has a gambling addiction. My money's on Dave.
• My girlfriend told me I have a gambling addiction 'Wanna bet?'
• What did the gambling addicts name their daughter? Betty.

Hilarious Addiction Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about addiction you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean temptation jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make addiction pranks.