addicted Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious addicted stories

What are the best Addicted puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Addicted? Well here is a complete list of Addicted to have fun with:

If I was addicted to masturbation and then I got addicted to sex...

Would it be safe to assume my addiction got out of hand?

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There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery...

The head of the group walks in and says, "I'm seeing a lot of new faces this week, and I have to say I'm pretty disappointed."

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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey...

...but then I turned myself around.

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I used to be addicted to soap,

but i'm clean now.

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I overheard my 14 year old daughter telling this joke to a friend.

-"Every time I say something, you say the word addicted"

-"ok"

-"Drugs"

-"Addicted"

-"Alcohol"

-"Addicted"

-"What slapped you across the face last night? "

" Addicted"

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I know a guy addicted to brake fluid

He says he can stop at any time

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So I have this friend who's addicted to drinking brake fluid...

but he tells me not to worry, he can stop anytime he wants.

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Did you hear about the guy addicted to eating salt?

Don't worry, he was cured.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I'm addicted to Twitter...

Sorry, I don't follow you.

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Twitter Addiction

A man tells his doctor, Doc, help me. I'm addicted to Twitter! The doctor replies, Sorry, I don't follow you."

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3 guys in Heaven

3 guys get into Heaven. An angel greets them.
"Welcome to Heaven. You can have anything you want in here EXCEPT for your #1 indulgence when you were living on Earth. We may test your willpower so be careful."

The first guy was a huge classic car collector.
The second guy was an avid coin collector.

And the third guy was really addicted to having anal sex.

After a few days in Heaven, the first guy was walking around and noticed a classic red convertible that he had always dreamed of driving. He gave in and jumped in the car to take it for a spin. 5 seconds into the joy ride *POOF* he disappeared and went to Hell.


The second guy was also walking around and saw the rarest and most mint condition silver coin he had ever seen. He bent over to pick it up and *POOF* both guys disappeared.

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Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed?

Only one more sleep until Christmas!

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I'm not addicted to cocaine

I just love the way it smells.

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I used to be addicted to soap...

but I'm clean now.

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Brake fluid

I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

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I used to be addicted...

To the hokey pokey but I turned myself around

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My friend is addicted to drinking brake fluids...

but he tells me that he can stop any time.

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I used to be addicted to having sex with bars of soap.

But then I came clean.

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I'm addicted to Soap

But I'm clean now

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Did you hear about the mechanic who was addicted to brake fluid?

He said he could stop at anytime.

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Why are wires addicted to electricity?

They can't resist.

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I used to be addicted to soap

But I'm clean now.

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I'm addicted to brake fluid.

But I can stop any time.

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Doctor, Doctor, I'm addicted to twitter...

Sorry, I don't follow you.

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So I know this guy who is addicted to brake fluid...

He says he can stop anytime.

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I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.

He says he can stop any time.

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Did you hear about the guy who needed to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.

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I used to be addicted to the hokey-pokey...

until I turned myself around!

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Patient: Doctor! Doctor! I think I'm addicted to Twitter!

Doctor: Sorry, I don't follow you.

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My brother is addicted to break fluid...

But he says he can stop any time.

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Oh man, I've got this mate thats addicted to drinking brake fluid.

He thinks he can stop at anytime.

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What's the best thing about having a girlfriend who is addicted to Starbucks?

You'll never forget her name.

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I used to be addicted to soap...

...but I'm clean now.

Credit to The Last Of Us.

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I have a friend who's addicted to brake fluid.

He says he can stop anytime.

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I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey...

But I turned myself around.

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It's not a problem

I know this guy who's addicted to brake fluid.

But it's OK he can stop whenever he wants.

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I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey

But I turned myself around.

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I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey.....

But then I turned myself around.

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Deli meats

I knew a guy who was addicted to deli meats. He just couldn't quit cold turkey.

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So Donald Duck was sent to rehab..

He had a big problem. He was addicted to quack.

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I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted.

I'm quitting this cold turkey.

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A woman is suicidal on Chrismas Eve...

A woman, about to jump off a bridge because her husband has divorced her and has complete custody of the children. She had also lost her job and was addicted to heroin. Before she could end her miserable life a skittering old, jolly-filled fatman made his way to her and inquired why she wanted to end her life. The woman told him the story and the man stated he can cure all of her problems.
"When you go home your husband will love you again with all of the kids welcoming you, your boss will give you your job back and you will never crave heroin for the rest of your life." The only condition was that the woman had to give Jolly ol Santa' a mind-blowing blowjob. The woman quickly went down to her knees and gave him the best blowjob he had ever received and before he left the old man states "how old are you"

"42" the woman replies

"42?...42 and you still believe in Santa?!"

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I used to be addicted to soap

but now I'm clean!

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I work at a dealership, this guy there is addicted to brake fluid

but he says he can stop at anytime!

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I'm not addicted to brake fluid

I can stop anytime i like

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What's a joke that you invented?

Here's mine:

Did you hear about the guy who had to snort a line of baking soda every day?

He was basically addicted.

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Do they have rehabilitation services for people who are addicted to Kaopectate?

Because this shit needs to stop.

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Did you hear about the guy who is addicted to drinking brake fluid?

It's okay though, he said he can stop whenever he wants.

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There's a support group for people addicted to plastic surgery...

One day the group leader comes in and says "I see a lot of new faces this week... I must say, I'm disappointed!"

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Did you know that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson use to be addicted to heroin?

He almost died one day, until he finally decided to lay the smack down.

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CONCLUSION

You've read some of the best addicted jokes of all time. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise kids not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty addicted gags to your kids. These jokes are updated with new ones in December 2019.

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laughs? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter. Some of these addicted jokes are funny and some are hilarious.

Can I save Addicted jokes? You can do this from the Joko Jokes iPhone app. It is available for free download from the Apple App Store. Like your favorite jokes so we can rank them by their likes count. Every thumb matters for Joko Jokes' rankings.

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