Howlingly Hilarious Addict Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
If I was addicted to m**... and then I got addicted to s**......
Would it be safe to assume my addiction got out of hand?
Whats the best thing about being a m**... addict?
Only two more sleeps until christmas.
My friends all say I'm a c**... addict, but I disagree.
I just like the smell.
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey...
...but then I turned myself around.
Did you hear about the farmer who was a h**... addict?
He had to quit in the end, because he couldn't find a needle in a haystack.
I used to be addicted to having s**... with bars of soap.
But then I came clean.
I'm not addicted to c**...
I just love the way it smells.
Why is working at Amazon warehouse like being a coke addict?
You spend 10 hours a day doing nothing but clearing lines.
So I bought a pair of shoes from a drug addict yesterday. ..
... And I dunno what he laced them with but I've been trippin ever since
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a drug addict?
A refrigerator starts in a box and moves into a house.
(This is not mine, but I don't know the source. Either way, I thought it should be shared.)
I used to have an addiction to dirt
But I've now been clean for over a year
You can explore addict rehab reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean addict kush dad jokes. There are also addict puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I use to know someone who was addicted to soap.
He's clean now
Addicted
Say "addicted" after everything I say.
What is someone who takes drugs?
What is someone who drinks?
What hit you in the face last night?
How is a librarian like a s**... addict?
Their favorite past time is between the covers.
There's a fine line between being a drug addict and a recreational user...
...and I snorted the whole thing.
A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
A drug addict found a lamp. Genie appeared.
"Now I will fullfill your 3 wishes" - he said.
"I wish two lines of the best stuff on the world. Let's take it together, it will be great."
"Ok, that was your first wish. Don't waste all of them on drugs" - genie said and two lines of the best stuff appeared. They both had a great party but suddenly the effect of these drugs ended.
"What is your second wish?" - genie asked
"I want another two lines of the best stuff on the world."
Another two lines appeared and they both were on high again. When the effect ended, Genie asked: "And your third wish?".
"Two lines of the best stuff on the world again."
Two lines appeared again and they were on high. When the effect ended, the genie appeared again:
"So, my friend, what is your fourth wish?"
I used to be addicted to soap....
I'm clean now.
I'm addicted to having money in the bank.
And I really do suffer from withdrawals.
I know someone who's addicted to brake fluid. They say they can stop any time.
Man my friends are such jerks, as soon as I tell them I'm a dance addict...
...what do they do? Put me in this amazing 12-step program.
What do you call a comic book hero that is constantly hooked on having s**... with female superheroes?
A heroine addict.
If I have an addiction to m**...
And I suddenly develop it into an addiction to s**..., does that mean my addiction is getting out of hand?
What do you call a religious drug addict?
A crystal methodist.
What do you call a tweaker (m**... addict) who goes to church?
A Crystal Methodist.
I'm addicted to placebos.
I could quit but it wouldn't matter.
I have an addiction to snorting powdered fruit drink mix...
Anybody got a punch line?
I was once addicted to time travel
But that's all in the past now
No, I'm not addicted to taking batteries out of clocks.
I can stop at any time I want.
I'm not addicted to drinking brake fluid....
I can stop any time I want.
I became addicted to gambling when I visited the Himalayas...
What can I say? I like Tibet.
How do you stop a gambling addict from gambling?
Make a bet. They won't refuse.
I used to be addicted to soap
I've been clean for 5 months now
I have an addiction to having lots of money in my bank account.
Unfortunately, I'm suffering from withdrawals.
What's the difference between a fake s**... addict and someone who uses fake names to get free noodles?
One's a pseudo-nymphomaniac, the other's a pseudonym-pho-maniac!
I used to be addicted to m**.... Now I'm addicted to s**......
It got out of hand.
To ease the pain of a mother Crying at her Husbands f**... I said "At least he died doing what he Loves"
Too bad he was a Drug Addict
I'm addicted to seaweed.
I must seek kelp.
You know you're addicted to games...
When you walk into the bank and see a camera and your first instinct is to take your 9mm p**... to shoot it.
I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers
I had to quit cold turkey
I'm addicted to molasses...
It's a viscous circle.
Help! I can't stop reading fantasy novels with female protagonists...
...I'm a heroine addict.
I was addicted to Tide Pods
I'm clean now
I used to be addicted to Tide Pods...
But I'm clean now.
I'm addicted to brake fluid
But it's not so bad, i can stop anytime!
I used to have an addiction to m**..., and then turned it into an addiction to s**...
I guess you could say my addiction is now getting out of hand.
The only addiction I can't beat is jerkin' off
wait...
I'm not addicted to sand paper
I just need something to take the edge off
Why did the drug addict fall over?
He tripped.
What do you call a bookworm who can't get enough of strong female characters?
A heroine addict!
If you are addicted to seaweed...
...sea kelp.
What should you do if you are addicted to sea w**...?
Sea kelp.
I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.
I need Help.
I'm addicted to procrastination
But I can start anytime I want
Did you hear about the drug addict who overthrew the government with 17 syllables?
He staged a high coup.
What do you call someone who can't stop looking at other people's b**...?
A Crack Addict!
I can't stop watching movies with strong female leads
I'm a heroine addict
I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid.
I just can't seem to stop.
I have an addiction to making references to random Bruce Willis movie titles. People have tried to help me stop but you know what they say. Old habits...
Pulp Fiction
Jewish s**... is asking his Rabbi
Rabbi, is it alright if I smoke during study of Torah?
Rabbi: Absolutely not, out of question. Why would you even ask such ridiculous thing?
The Jewish s**... goes away ashamed, but since he is a pious addict he comes back later and asks Rabbi again.
Rabbi, is it alright if I study the Torah while I smoke?
Rabbi: But of course, of course!
I'm addicted to brake fluid
It's ok I can stop anytime I want
My addiction to Helium is out of control, but...
no one is taking my cries for help seriously.
I used to be addicted to showering…
I got clean.
I have an addiction to brake fluid.
The good news is I can stop anytime I want.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey...
then I turned myself around.
what do you do when you're addicted to seaweed?
Seek Kelp.
I used used to be addicted to soap…
I clean now though.
If you're addicted to seaweed
Sea kelp
I'm addicted to seaweed.
I need to sea kelp urgently
I was addicted to soap…
But now I'm clean
I used to be addicted to time travel.
But that's all in the past now.
Why did the c**... addict go to Disney World?
Because he heard the lines were long
What do you call a theater major who works hard to portray his drug addict role?
A m**...-head actor
Did you hear about the guy who dated Supergirl and Wonder Woman?
Turns out, he was a heroine addict
I used to have an addiction to ham.
But now I'm cured.
I used to be a shampoo addict...
But i'm clean now.
