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Adaptive Jokes

68 adaptive jokes and hilarious adaptive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about adaptive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Adaptive Short Jokes

Short adaptive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The adaptive humour may include short jokes also.

  1. So a finch asks his mother... "Mom, why does my beak look different than yours?"
    She replies, "Well son, I hate to break it to you, but you're adapted."
  2. TIL the movie Starship Troopers was never adapted into a successful video game because... ...bugs.
  3. The Mortal Kombat theme song Was adapted from an old Scandinavian church song.
    It's a Finnish Hymn.
  4. Recently I felt Funny and came over Queasy... At which point I was told to leave the local theatre adaption of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.
  5. I'm starting to suspect I was cloned from my older brother All my genes are hand-me-downs
    *Adapted from a song by His Royal Weirdness
  6. Have you seen the Indian adaptation of 'How I Met Your Mother' ? It's called 'How My Parents Met Your Mother's Parents'
  7. How can we be sure the government wasn't involved in the kennedy assassination? Well he's dead, isn't he?
    (Adapted from Neil Gaiman's *American Gods*)
  8. My parents called a meeting just to tell me I'm really well-suited to my environment? I don't remember exactly what they said, but it was something like, "son, you're adapted."
  9. If communism would adapt English, they would adapt to British English. ColOURs, FlavOURs, FavOURite and humOUR.
  10. The jungle book has been adapted into a live action play But after the show at the Cincinnati zoo all other showings have been cancelled.

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Adaptive One Liners

Which adaptive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with adaptive? I can suggest the ones about and .

  1. From 1 to 10 how do you rate your capacity to adapt to new technologies IV
  2. How did Charlie Brown adaptively respond to snoopy's evemtual death? Good grief.
  3. Why are hipsters so good at surviving? They are early adapters
  4. When you want to make a meme but you dont have a picture Improvise. Adapt. Overcome
  5. What does a cameraman buy his second wife? An adapter ring
  6. What is a Power Adapter's favorite rock band? AC/DC
  7. What's Charles Darwin's favorite movie? Adaptation
  8. On an adapted football team... How many downs are there?

Adaptive Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about adaptive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make adaptive pranks.

Having past almost 30 years, the same question still bothers him…
Why he does not look alike his brothers and parents at all - every single one pretty and he so ugly.
He summoned all his courage and decided to ask his mother: "Mom, tell me the truth please, I am adapted, aren’t I?"
The mother burst into tears and said: "Yes, my child! But it didn’t work, they returned you back!"

That holocaust joke reminded me of this one I heard about 2 Mexican dudes.

2 Mexican guys move to America from Mexico. They decide to each go their own way and try to adapt to the culture of their new home. A year later they bump into each other.
Mexican guy 1: Hey man! Long time no see! How have you been adapting? I got really into NASCAR, I got this American flag tattoo, and I even started my own business! I'm living the American dream! What about you?
Mexican guy 2: Go back to Mexico, s**...!!

I've adapted this from an old joke, I hope you enjoy.

A man was hiring for a factory, he called in the first applicant from the waiting room and asked him a few questions. Then, for his final question he asked him, "Will you make a sentence with the word 'great'?"
The applicant replied after some thought "Oh, I have a leather jacket and I think it's really great!"
The boss let him go and called up the next applicant. They talked for a while and then he asked him "Will you make a sentence with the word 'great' in it?"
Without any hesitation the applicant says "I have a leather jacket and I think it's really great!!"
The man realizes that they're catching on, so he calls the next applicant in. They talk for a while and then he says "I would like you to make a sentence", the applicant cuts him off
"with GREAT!"
"no, actually I would like you to make a sentence with the word 'fascinate'"
"Not Great?"
"No, fascinate."
The applicant pauses for some time.. then he replies
"I have a leather jacket, and I think it's really great. It has 11 b**..., but I only fasten eight."

Etiquette for beginners

[adapted from a scene in the film Carry on Cruising]
A steward on a cruise ship is hesitating outside a door to a cabin with a p**... of coffee on a tray. The chief purser doing his rounds sees him and asks him what he's doing.
"Well sir, it's like this", the steward begins, "I'm completely new to this job and I'm a little worried as to what to do if I find passengers in a *delicate* state in their cabin, you see?"
The purser smiles and puts his hand on the young man's shoulder. "Ah", he says, "you just need to learn how to deal with such situations with a bit of dignity and blindness. I once knew a steward who walked in on a beautiful young woman completely n**... in the shower. Well, he just put the tray down on the side, said 'Excuse me, sir' and left without missing a beat. Do you see?"
The steward thinks for a moment and smiles "Yes, yes! That's very good that! I'll remember that!"
"Well, what are you waiting for then?" says the purser pointing out the still closed cabin door. "Get on with it, before that coffee gets cold"
The steward takes a deep breath, puffs out his chest, knocks and opens the door. Inside, he finds a newly wed couple on their honeymoon, in bed and very passionately engrossed in each other, and they clearly haven't noticed his arrival.
He hesitates before remembering what the purser told him, and decides to interrupt: "Hello there, which of you two fellahs takes sugar then?"

An old woman notices her husband's fly is unzipped...

An old woman sees her husband's fly on his pants is unzipped. She says, "You left the barn door open. The cow is gonna get out if ya don't close it."
The old man replied, "It can't get out if it can't get up!"
(I adapted this from an actual exchange that my great grandparents had a few years ago.)

Champagne makes you beautiful

During a high-society reception, a man accosts a not-so-pretty lady and goes: "Madame, please allow me to tell you that Champagne makes you beautiful".
A little surprised and maybe a little flattered too, the woman replies: "I don't know what you mean, this is my first glass of the evening". The man then concludes: "This might be your first glass, but personally, I already had two bottles."
Heard a few minutes ago on a French radio station. Please forgive the clumsy English adaptation.

Ricky Gervais has sold the rights to do an 'adult' adaptation of 'The Office' to Vivid Picture.

It will be called 'The o**...'.

What's the best part about the new Macbook?

You only need to buy one USB to USB-C adapter.

My wife is kind of lazy

We were watching an item on the news yesterday, about a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic who could play the (specially adapted) flute beautifully.
"Oh my god." She said, tears welling in her eyes, "I'd love to be able to do that."
"What, play the flute?" I asked.
"No, sit down all day."

Slightly adapted for translation

A black guy walks into a gun shop and asks the fellow behind the counter:
-Do you have rifles?
-No.
-Do you have shotguns?
-No.
-Pistols?
-No.
Confused, the black guy exits the shop and realizes the shop has all those items on display. Angered, he runs in and confronts the seller:
-What do you have against black people?!
-Rifles, shotguns, pistols...

Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career.

*Interception*

The White House is putting on a play adaptation of Modern Family.

When asked which character he wanted to be, Obama said "Uhhh...let me be Claire."

Disney just announced plans for an animated adaptation of Dante's Inferno

They're calling it, "101 Damnations."

Dead crows

There were many dead crows on highways in the Rocky Mountains this year. Ornithologists suspected it was due to vehicles hitting the crows.
This was surprising because crows have adapted to feeding on carcasses by having two birds watching from the trees while two birds feed. If there is a vehicle coming, two crows will shout out so the other birds can fly away.
After analyzing the car chips left on the crows, it was found that 80% of crows killed by trucks and only 20% were killed by cars.
Turns out crows are really good at yelling "caw caw caw" and not good at yelling "truck truck truck".

Theres Mama Bird, a Baby Bird, and a Brother Bird

One day baby bird comes up to mama bird and asks, "mama, how come my beak is different than brother bird?" Mama bird, caught off gaurd for a second, lets out a sigh and says, "baby bird. Ive been waiting for the right time to tell you this, but I guess this is as good a time any. Baby Bird the truth is...you're adapted."

What's the best nation in the world?

A donation
(Adapted from a homeless man who sat outside my building)

With the help of the villagers, Mike who fell into the well finally ....

adapted to live underground.

Why did the farmer win an award?

He was outstanding in his field.
(Adapted from a comment!)

If the comic s**... Kathy were to be adapted into a TV show, which actor would play Irving, her love interest?

I'm not sure, but it would have to be a Huge Ack-man.

The Rock is starring in a film adaptation of the video game *Rampage*

In related news, Kevin Spacey is in the Paperboy.

Did you hear about the asteroid from another solar system astronomers recently spotted?

They say Donald Trump is threatening to send one right back.
Joke stolen from and adapted from XKCD

USSR Joke Adapted For 2018

On a tour of Washington D.C. a young man lags behind the tour group to take a longer look at the White House. However, he was quite upset with the President and in a moment of anger he shouts across the lawn "The President is a disgusting pig". As he turns to walk away the D.C. police quickly arrest the man and he is taken before a judge. The Judge takes a cursory glance at the charges and sentences the man to 4 years in prison. In disbelief he yells to the judge "I didn't know insulting the President was a crime". The Judge lowers his glasses and says "Insulting the President isn't a crime, but revealing state secrets is".

I've decided to take my life in a new direction - silent film.

I'm going to start with easy stuff - probably adaptations of Steven King novels. The first one is going to be titled Shhh, It .

Hey,​ doc. I think I have a space illness.

D: Like a space adaption syndrome?
M: No, doc, more like meteorism.

How many Mac owners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One. He or she just stands there holding the bulb out waiting for the world to revolve around them..... or goes out and buys an adapter first to make the bulb compatible!

Adapt Popular Movie Titles to Make Them Pornographic

Saving Ryan's Privates
Goofellas
Supersize Me

What counts as an insult and also as a sickening adaptation of human anatomy for the purpose of illumination?

Arsecandle

Studies show that prostitutes have higher levels of oxytocin than the average person.

Oxytocin is known to increase e**... vocalizations during s**.... Scientists believe that this may be an adaptation to help with pleasing their clients.
It's a very powerful w**...-moan.

I got kicked out of my book club meeting because I tried to review Tommy Wiseau's book adaptation of his movie despite never actually having read it.

I should have noticed how irritated the crowd was getting at my inaccurate speech, but I didn't read The Room.

There are three gay guys, all on top of each other. What do you call the guy in the middle?

A double adapter

I'm European and have a quick question since I'm about to leave for vacation in the USA. My phonecharger won't fit into a wall outlet there.

Do I need an adapter for my buttplugs too?

If Hunter Renfrow has another game against Alabama like the last two championships, I've decided that I'm going to name my first born child after him.

Hopefully, Jessica will adapt to the new name.

I would assume spiders adapted pretty quickly to online learning.

After all, they were already comfortable on the web.

To celebrate the remake of the movie adaptation of Stephen King's "It," restaurants released their second version of eggnog with a scoop of ice cream and a peppermint stick:

The "Yule float II." Only $1.99 You'll make sure to get your change - if you want to be penny-wise.

A Taiwanese joke translated and adapted to suit global culture.

I failed my geography test because of one single question.
The question was: "Where's the capital of Ukraine?"
I responded with "Kyiv" when the answer was "Moscow".
I argued that the teacher doesn't know anything about geography while the teacher said I know nothing about communism.

I recently got hired at a publishing company.

The first assignment I got today was adapting a thousand-page manuscript into a five-page short story.
It wasn't easy to make a long story short.

An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.

As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".

A teacher asked Jamaal what his father did...

Jamaal: My father is a doctor.
Teacher: Susie what about your father?
Susie: He is a lawyer.
Teacher: William?
William: My father...he's passed.
Teacher: I'm sorry to hear that. What did he do before he died?
William: He clutched his chest and collapsed.
Adapted from a George Burns joke he credited to Walter Matthau.

Weddings by Christian denomination [super-dated but still funny]

At a Catholic wedding, the bride is pregnant.
At a m**... wedding, the bride's mother is pregnant.
At a United Church wedding, the minister is pregnant.
At a Unitarian wedding, the minister and her wife are both pregnant.
*Adapted poorly from a joke about Jewish denominations.*

Have you guys heard about the new film adaptation of Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart?"

It's rumored to star Beneathio del Flooro.

My friend works as a cab driver in London

one day, while chatting, I asked him if he found problems adapting to driving on the other side of the road
"not really, no, but the biggest problem is that sometimes instead of spitting outside the window I spit on the customer sitting next to me"

A land owner has caught a trespasser on his land.

"Didn't you see my sign that said, Private. Trespassers will be prosecuted?"
"Well, it's like this. I saw the sign, but when I read 'Private', I didn't read any further 'cause I thought it wasn't any of my business."

\-- Modern adaptation of a joke from a 1913 newspaper.