Adams Jokes

Following is our collection of iris humor and addams one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Adams puns for adults, dirty douglas jokes or clean samuel gags for kids.

There is an abundance of adam eve jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 18 funniest jokes on adams. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any god and adam witze you can hear about adams.

The Best jokes about Adams

Biology Lesson

Dr Adams is holding forth to his college students on biology and anatomy. "Miss Baker, can you tell me which part of the human body can expand by up to 10 times, and under what conditions?"

Miss Baker blushes furiously, and says, "That is not an appropriate question to ask a lady, and I will report you to the Dean."

Dr Adams just nods and says, "Miss Conrad, same question."

Miss Conrad stands and says, "The pupil of the eye, under dim light."

Dr Adams nods again and says "Correct, full marks for Miss Conrad." Then he turns and says, "Miss Baker, I can tell you three things. First, you have not studied. Second, you have a dirty mind. Third, you are going to suffer a grave disappointment."

Carpet matches the curtains

10 year olds Andy, Ben, and Chuck are having lunch at school on Monday morning and Andy says, "My Pa said that Mrs. Jones carpet doesn't match the curtains. What does that mean?"

Ben informs him that it is when a lady's pubic hair doesn't match the hair on her head.

Chuck proposes that they see if their respective teachers, Mrs Adams, Ms Brown, and Mrs Carter have matching carpet and curtains.

The boys spend the week trying to peek up their teachers' skirts. They meet up at lunch on Friday to discuss their discoveries.

Andy says, "It's a scandal: Mrs Adams bleaches her hair blonde, she's actually a brunette."

Ben says, "It's so crazy: Ms Brown dyes her hair red, she's actually a blonde."

Chuck says, "That's nothing: Mrs Carter wears a wig!"

You know, said Arthur, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.

You know, said Arthur, it's at times like this, when I'm trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me when I was young.

Why, what did she tell you?

I don't know, I didn't listen.


*- Douglas Adams, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy*

Two soldiers are held captive by the Taliban

They are told that they are going to be executed the next day. "We are not without compassion" says one of the captors. "We will allow you each one last wish." The first soldier says he has always been the biggest fan of Bryan Adams, and he would like to hear the song 'Everything I do I do it for you' one last time. After telling him that his wish would be granted, the Taliban captor turns to the second soldier and asks what his wish is. He thinks for a minute and says "shoot me first".

What did Douglas Adams say after he finished writing the first chapter of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy?

Ah, I've finally put a dent in that book.


Why did Eve eating the forbidden fruit cause a lump in Adams throat?

Because she was eating Adam's apple.

George Washington: "We should put 'We trust in God' on our money"

John Adams: "Brilliant idea! Did you get that?"

Yoda: *taking note* "Yep"

Little Adam wonders

Little Adam asks his mother..."hey mom, is god man or a woman?"
Mother replies: "God is both, man and woman"
A bit confused Adams wonders: "ok, but is God black or white?"
Mother replies: "God is both, black and white"
Adam responds: "what is God then... Michael Jackson?"

A medic, an architect and a programmer are talking about who's job is the oldest.

A medic, an architect and a programmer are talking about who's job is the oldest.

The medic says: "My job is the oldest because when God made Eve from Adams rib, that was a medical procedure."

The architect says: "Hold up! Before Adam and Eve, God created the universe. That's an architects job - to make something out of chaos."

The programmer then says: "Now wait a minute, who do you think was responsible for all the chaos?"

What do you call a party featuring John Adams, Alexander Hamilton and co as guests?

A feds era list party.

Why do Christian figureheads not like science?

Because it's about two Adams bonding.


Flying is like throwing yourself at the ground...

...and miss.

Quote by Douglas Adams.

Bryan Adams cancelled his Mississippi shows

I thought we were supposed to be punishing them?!

The inventor of ibuprofen, Stewart Adams, died today at 95 years old.

The priest got up to present the eulogy NSAID he was a lovely bloke.

What do a snowstorm in Florida, a hula hoop with a nail in it, and the USS Adams have in common?

They're all navel destroyers.

Why do Christians hate science?

They always think of it as two Adams bonding.

A new photography studio near me specializes in taking portraits of angry single men. The owner goes by Incel Adams.

A pokemon trainer walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Wow, you're in luck, we're running a contest, and the first to drink 15 bottles of Samuel Adams new lager wins a MagiKarp!"

The trainer replies, "Uhh, who cares? Why would anyone bother competing for a MagiKarp?"

The bartender answers, "Because anyone who drinks Sam Adams automatically gets TM 87"
"What's TM 87?"
"*Swagger*"

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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