The Best 72 Adam Eve Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Adam Eve jokes. There are some adam eve serpent jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these adam eve earth puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Adam Eve Jokes and Puns

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

[garden of eden]


**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?

**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.

**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30Β° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?

**Eve:** 10

**Snake:** Thanksss

**Adam:** How did you calculate that?

**Eve:** Oh no.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian

are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

Adam Eve joke, A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian

how do you know that adam and eve were white

have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American

were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.

"They must have been English,' declares the Englishman. 'Only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman.'

'They were undoubtedly French,' says the Frenchman. 'Who else could seduce a woman so easily?'

'I think they were Russian,' says the American.

'After all, who else could walk around stark naked, feed on one apple between the two of them and think they were in paradise?'


Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car crash and all die tragically.

In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"

The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.

"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"

She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and she enters.

Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"

"Eve!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.

St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"

Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."

*Gong!*

adam and eve finally figured out the whole sex thing...

afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.

god asks "son, where's eve?"

to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."

god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."

Adam Eve joke, adam and eve finally figured out the whole sex thing...

A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in Eden.

The Frenchman says "they must be French, look at them, they are naked and eating fruit". The Brit says "No, they are English, look how politely the man offers the woman the fruit". The Russian says "You are both wrong, they are Russian. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and think they are in paradise

Three nuns die in a car accident. They arrive at the pearly gates...

...and St. Peter greets them, "welcome to heaven sisters! Before I let you in I have to ask you each a question that you must answer to be accepted into heaven."

The first nun steps up, and St. Peter asks, "who is the son of god?" The nun says, "that's easy. Jesus." The gates open, and she strolls into heaven.

The second one steps up. "Who is Jesus' mother?" She answers, "Mary," and the gates open.

The third nun steps up, and he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun looks flustered, and she says, "that's a really hard one..." And the gates open.

God sees Adam in the Garden of Eden...

...and asks him how things are going with him and Eve. "Great!" Says Adam. "We just finished having sex! Sex is wonderful!" God asks, "Speaking of Eve, where is she?". To that Adam Replies "Oh, she's down at the beach washing up." God is furious. "WHAT? NOW I'LL NEVER GET THAT SMELL OFF OF THE FISH!"

A child and Human Origin

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"

His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

You can explore adam eve addams reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adam eve eva dad jokes. There are also adam eve puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Adam and Eve eat the apple

of the forbidden tree, God sees this and is very angry, "Adam!" he says, "for what you have done from now on by the sweat of your brow you will eat your food...." "And you Eve...you will pay with *blood*

But you can pay me in comfortable monthly payments

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

"Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"

Adam and Eve

When God made Adam he noticed that Adam was sad and asked what was wrong.

Adam - I'm lonely.

God - That's no good! How about I make you a companion? One that is gorgeous, give you mind blowing sex, will cook and clean, and doesn't mind it when you spend time with the guys or watch football?

Adam - That sounds awesome! What will it cost me?

God - An arm and a leg!

Adam - What can I get for a rib?

We would all be living in paradise if Adam & Eve were Chinese..

Because they would've eaten the snake and not the apple.

What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden?

Being a first-person shooter

Adam Eve joke, What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden?

I guarantee you Adam & Eve were white.

You ever try and take a rib from a black man?

The Garden of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?

So no one would tell him how to make Adam.


The sun was coming up. Adam & Eve had just spent the entire night ...

... having glorious unadulterated sex. Eve decided to go wash up in the river close by. Just as she dipped her toe in the water to feel the temperature, she heard a thundering voice, "Do NOT go into the water!". Eve shrugged, and thought to herself, "What's the worse that could happen?". She waded into the water waist deep.

.... Another thundering voice came from the sky, "Now i'll NEVER get the smell out of the FISH!".

Who was the world's first carpenter?

Eve. She made Adam's banana stand

God went to the Garden of Eden to visit Adam and Eve...

... and found Adam sitting under a tree, relaxing.

"How's everything?" asked God.
"Good, thank you! This place is great!" said Adam.
"Where's Eve?" asked God, looking around.
"Well, we just had sex, and it was great," said Adam, "and so she went down to the river, to take a bath."
"Oh no, not the river!" said God. "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish!"

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.

The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."

The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."

The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."

What time of day was Adam born?

Just a little before Eve

It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution

You're just comparing apples and origins

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church

The church priest asks the girl a question "who is our lord and savior?" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells "JESUS CHRIST" the priest says "good good, who created us" *the boy stabs her again* she yells "GOD ALMIGHTY" the priest says "good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 42nd child?" *he stabs her again* the girl screams "IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN MY ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT!" The priest faints..

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve..

It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash.

Why was Adam and Eves marriage so successful?

Because he couldn't complain about her mothers cooking.

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.

Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"

Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.

No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family

Adam asked God.....

"God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"

"So that you would like her."

"But why you make her so dumb too?"

"So that she would like you too."

Adam & Eve

The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

You're running around with other women, she charged.

You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!

When was the first computer?

Adam and Eve's time. It was an apple. It only had one byte, then everything went downhill.

If adam and eve were Chinese

Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.

Eve gets an apple

Eve: I got an Apple.

Adam: ...

Eve: ...

Adam: ...

Eve: What?

Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android.

Eve: The serpent said this was better.ο»Ώ

Seen on a sign outside a church

Adam and Eve were the first people to not read the Apple conditions

In Soviet Russia...

A man asks a Russian: What nationality were Adam and Eve?
The Russian replies: Soviet of course!
The man asks: How do you know?
To which the Russian replies: Well they were both naked, had only an apple to eat, and thought they were in paradise.

A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...

"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"

"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"

The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

Why was Adam created before Eve?

So he had a chance to speak

It's funny that condoms are ribbed for her pleasure...

Because in Genesis, God ribbed Adam for Eve.

I invented a war game called "Adam and Eve".

It's a first person shooter.

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Soviet are asked what nationality Adam and Eve were.

The Brit exclaims They must have been British! Look at how gentlemanly Adam behaved towards Eve. He must have been an Englishman.

Outrageous! Says the Frenchman. They must have been French. Look at the love that they exhibited towards each other! Only the French can love like that.

The Soviet chuckles and says You're both wrong. They must have been Soviet; they had no clothes, no food, and someone in charge was telling them they were in paradise .

Those people who are against gay marriage and say...

''In Genesis it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'', are so narrow minded..

Everyone knows that in Genesis it was Phil Collins, Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford..

Adam and Eve had been brainstorming with God for what felt like an eternity.

"Two dozen hours?" asked Adam.

"One seventh of a week?" suggested Eve.

God shook his head and sighed. "Let's just call it a day."

Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs...

That technically makes her Adam's side chick.

So my wife asked me yesterday "What would you do if You and I were 'Adam and Eve'?"

I replied nonchalantly, **"I'd fap and go to sleep. That would solve most problems."**

P.S: A'yup, I slept on the couch. :/

Why didn't Adam buy Eve the new iPhone?

Because Apple products are really expensive.

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"

(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)

A child asked his father:

"How were people born"? So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and had babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him: "We were monkeys, then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Yes...First Computer was from Apple

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

Why did God create Adam before Eve?

He didn't want any advice on how to do it

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said,

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Three nuns die and go to Heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.

"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.

"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.

"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.

"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.

"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.

"Oh, that's a hard one..."

The gates swing open.

Three nuns die in a car crash, when they get to heaven, the angel says they have to answer a question to get in

So the angel asks the first nun

Who was the first man?

And the nun replies, Adam

The angel allows her in and turns to the second nun

Who was the first woman?

The second nun answers Eve

Correct, in you go replies the angel

Then turning to the third nun the angel asks

I'm afraid this question is rather difficult. What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?

The third nun thinking says Oh, that's a hard one

Yes, you're in. Replies the angel.

A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit.

The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.

The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.

Who were the fastest runners ever?

Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

Three Nuns Die And Each Have To Answer A Question From God To Get Into Heaven...

God asks the first Nun, "Who were the first two people?"
She says, "Adam and Eve".
He says, "Okay, you're in."

God asks the second Nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?"
She says, "The Garden of Eden".
He says, "Okay, you're in."

God asks the third Nun, "What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?"
She says, "Hmm, that's a hard one."
He says, "Okay, you're in."

Adam and Eve.

First people in history to not read the Apple terms and conditions.

A doctor, an engineer, and a politician we're arguing over the oldest profession

The doctor said "in the Bible, Eve was made from Adam's rib, so the first profession was a surgeon." The engineer said, "God made the earth from chaos in 7 days, so engineering is the first profession." The politician said, "who do you think you made the chaos?"

Who was the first carpenter mentioned in the bible?

Eve. She made Adam's hotdog stand.

"Mom, how did humans come to exist?"

"Well, you see, God created Adam and Eve..."

"But dad said we came from apes."

"He was talking about his family, I am telling you about mine."

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve.

It was an apple with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte & then everything crashed.

A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"

They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.

"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're naked and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.

"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"

A Brit, a French person and a Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Brit says, Look, they are so calm and reserved, they must be British.

The French person says, No, look at how beautiful they are, they must be French.

The Russian says, Are you kidding me? They have no clothes and no shelter with only an apple to eat and they're being told they live in paradise. Clearly they're Russian.

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery

They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."

"They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.

The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."

What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve!

Sorry, mom. I hope dad would feel the same way

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

What did Adam say after Eve was created?

Woah man!

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

Surprise, surprise!

It was an Apple,

but with limited memory.

Just one byte,

and everything crashed.

Adam, the first human, walks into a comedy club. He hears a funny joke and totally splits a rib…

Now his chest hurts and he has to drive Eve home.



(An original, by yours truly.)

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