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Adam Eve Jokes

138 adam eve jokes and hilarious adam eve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about adam eve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Adam Eve Short Jokes

Short adam eve jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The adam eve humour may include short adam and eve jokes also.

  1. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve. It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
  2. The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve. It was an apple with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte & then everything crashed.
  3. Do you know the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve? It was an apple, with very limited memory, one byte and everything crashed!
  4. Top Biblical experts have reached the conclusion that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens They had no clothes, one apple between the two of them and they thought they were in paradise.
  5. It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution You're just comparing apples and origins
  6. If adam and eve were Chinese Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.
  7. Eve gets an apple Eve: I got an Apple.
    Adam: ...

    Eve: ...
    Adam: ...
    Eve: What?
    Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android.
    Eve: The serpent said this was better.
  8. how do you know that adam and eve were white have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man
  9. We would all be living in paradise if Adam & Eve were Chinese.. Because they would've eaten the snake and not the apple.
  10. Adam asked God..... "God, why did you make Eve so beautiful?"
    "So that you would like her."
    "But why you make her so dumb too?"
    "So that she would like you too."

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Adam Eve One Liners

Which adam eve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with adam eve? I can suggest the ones about god and adam and christmas eve.

  1. Why did God create Adam before he created Eve? So no one would tell him how to make Adam.
  2. Why do Adam and Eve use Android? Because Eve violated the apple terms and conditions.
  3. Why did God create Adam before Eve? He didn't want any advice on how to do it
  4. What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve.
  5. Adam & Eve The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
  6. Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs... That technically makes her Adam's side chick.
  7. What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas? It's Christmas, Eve.
  8. What time of day was Adam born? Just a little before Eve
  9. I guarantee you Adam & Eve were white. You ever try and take a rib from a black man?
  10. I invented a war game called "Adam and Eve". It's a first person shooter.
  11. Why didn't Adam buy Eve the new iPhone? Because Apple products are really expensive.
  12. Adam and Eve. First people in history to not read the Apple terms and conditions.
  13. Who was the world's first carpenter? Eve. She made Adam's banana stand
  14. Why was Adam created before Eve? So he had a chance to speak
  15. Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

Adam Eve joke, Who were the fastest runners ever?

Gather Around for Heartwarming Adam Eve Jokes and Uplifting Humor

What funny jokes about adam eve you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean reeves jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make adam eve pranks.

[garden of eden]


**Snake:** Pssst! want an apple?
**Eve:** No thanks, I do not sin.
**Snake:** What's the length of the opposite side of a 30° right triangle with a hypotenuse of 20?
**Eve:** 10
**Snake:** Thanksss
**Adam:** How did you calculate that?
**Eve:** Oh no.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian

are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

What where Adam's first words to Eve?

"Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American

were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.
"They must have been English,' declares the Englishman. 'Only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman.'
'They were undoubtedly French,' says the Frenchman. 'Who else could s**... a woman so easily?'
'I think they were Russian,' says the American.
'After all, who else could walk around stark n**..., feed on one apple between the two of them and think they were in paradise?'

Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car c**... and all die tragically.
In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"
The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.
"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"
She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and she enters.
Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"
"Eve!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.
St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"
Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."
*Gong!*

adam and eve finally figured out the whole s**... thing...

afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.
god asks "son, where's eve?"
to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."
god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."

A Brit, a Frenchman, and a Russian are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in Eden.

The Frenchman says "they must be French, look at them, they are n**... and eating fruit". The Brit says "No, they are English, look how politely the man offers the woman the fruit". The Russian says "You are both wrong, they are Russian. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and think they are in paradise

Three nuns die in a car accident. They arrive at the pearly gates...

...and St. Peter greets them, "welcome to heaven sisters! Before I let you in I have to ask you each a question that you must answer to be accepted into heaven."
The first nun steps up, and St. Peter asks, "who is the son of god?" The nun says, "that's easy. Jesus." The gates open, and she strolls into heaven.
The second one steps up. "Who is Jesus' mother?" She answers, "Mary," and the gates open.
The third nun steps up, and he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun looks flustered, and she says, "that's a really hard one..." And the gates open.

God sees Adam in the Garden of Eden...

...and asks him how things are going with him and Eve. "Great!" Says Adam. "We just finished having s**...! s**... is wonderful!" God asks, "Speaking of Eve, where is she?". To that Adam Replies "Oh, she's down at the beach washing up." God is furious. "WHAT? NOW I'LL NEVER GET THAT SMELL OFF OF THE FISH!"

A child and Human Origin

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."
The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"
His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Adam and Eve eat the apple

of the forbidden tree, God sees this and is very angry, "Adam!" he says, "for what you have done from now on by the sweat of your brow you will eat your food...." "And you Eve...you will pay with *blood*
But you can pay me in comfortable monthly payments

What were Adam's first ever words to Eve?

"Stand back - I don't know how big it's going to get!"

So a man was going as Adam from Adam and Eve for a Halloween costume.

So he went to a costume shop and asked the lady working there for a leaf to wear, so the lady brought out a leaf and the guy said, "bigger", so the lady brought out another leaf and the man said "bigger" again, this went on a few more times and the lady finally came out and said, "why don't you just throw it over your shoulder and go as a gas pump?"

Adam and Eve

When God made Adam he noticed that Adam was sad and asked what was wrong.
Adam - I'm lonely.
God - That's no good! How about I make you a companion? One that is gorgeous, give you mind blowing s**..., will cook and clean, and doesn't mind it when you spend time with the guys or watch football?
Adam - That sounds awesome! What will it cost me?
God - An arm and a leg!
Adam - What can I get for a rib?

You could call today "Christmas Adam"

Because Adam came before Eve.

What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden?

Being a first-person shooter

The Garden of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.
"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."
"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're n**..., and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."
"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

Why did God create Adam before Eve?

To give him a chance to say something.

Adam says to Eve...

"I wear the plants in this relationship!"

The sun was coming up. Adam & Eve had just spent the entire night ...

... having glorious unadulterated s**.... Eve decided to go wash up in the river close by. Just as she dipped her toe in the water to feel the temperature, she heard a thundering voice, "Do NOT go into the water!". Eve shrugged, and thought to herself, "What's the worse that could happen?". She waded into the water waist deep.
.... Another thundering voice came from the sky, "Now i'll NEVER get the smell out of the FISH!".

God went to the Garden of Eden to visit Adam and Eve...

... and found Adam sitting under a tree, relaxing.
"How's everything?" asked God.
"Good, thank you! This place is great!" said Adam.
"Where's Eve?" asked God, looking around.
"Well, we just had s**..., and it was great," said Adam, "and so she went down to the river, to take a bath."
"Oh no, not the river!" said God. "Now I'll never get the smell out of the fish!"

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve

An American, a Briton, and a North Korean look at a picture of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden and try to figure out what nationality they are.
The American says, "Look at how free and independent they are, they must be Americans."
The Briton says, "What are you talking about, look at how calm and reserved they are, the are obviously British."
The North Korean says, "You two are both missing the point. They have no clothes, no shelter, they only have and apple to eat between them and yet they are being told that they live in paradise. They're clearly North Korean."

In the Garden of Eden, Eve wore a fig leaf. Do you know what Adam wore?

A hole in it.

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!

A boy pokes a girl with a pin at church

The church priest asks the girl a question "who is our lord and savior?" *the boy stabs her with the pin* she yells "JESUS CHRIST" the priest says "good good, who created us" *the boy stabs her again* she yells "GOD ALMIGHTY" the priest says "good good, now, what did Eve say to Adam after they had their 42nd child?" *he stabs her again* the girl screams "IF YOU PUT THAT THING IN MY ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR t**...!" The priest faints..

What did Adam say when he broke up with Eve?

I'm turning over a new leaf.

Do you know why God made Adam and Eve white?

Ever try taking a rib from a black guy?

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve..

It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to c**....

Why was Adam and Eves marriage so successful?

Because he couldn't complain about her mothers cooking.

A little girl asks her father where people came from.

He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.
Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"
Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.
No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family

Man answers the phone: "Hello sir, this is a short survey. What is your name?

"Adam"

And your wife's?
"Eve"
Ha! That's funny..does the snake lives there too?
"Yes one moment. Honey, get your mom please..."

Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day?

After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.
You're running around with other women, she charged.
You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.
What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!

When was the first computer?

Adam and Eve's time. It was an apple. It only had one byte, then everything went downhill.

How do we now Adam and Eve weren't black?

Not even God could take a rib from a black man!

Seen on a sign outside a church

Adam and Eve were the first people to not read the Apple conditions

Why did Eve eating the forbidden fruit cause a lump in Adams t**...?

Because she was eating Adam's apple.

In Soviet Russia...

A man asks a Russian: What nationality were Adam and Eve?
The Russian replies: Soviet of course!
The man asks: How do you know?
To which the Russian replies: Well they were both n**..., had only an apple to eat, and thought they were in paradise.

A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...

"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"
"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"
The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

If 24th December is Christmas Eve, 23rd December should be Christmas Adam.

Because men always come first.

It's funny that condoms are ribbed for her pleasure...

Because in Genesis, God ribbed Adam for Eve.

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Soviet are asked what nationality Adam and Eve were.

The Brit exclaims They must have been British! Look at how gentlemanly Adam behaved towards Eve. He must have been an Englishman.
Outrageous! Says the Frenchman. They must have been French. Look at the love that they exhibited towards each other! Only the French can love like that.
The Soviet chuckles and says You're both wrong. They must have been Soviet; they had no clothes, no food, and someone in charge was telling them they were in paradise .

Those people who are against gay marriage and say...

''In Genesis it was Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve'', are so narrow minded..

Everyone knows that in Genesis it was Phil Collins, Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford..

What did Adam say to Eve the first time they had s**...?

Stand back, I'm not sure how much bigger it'll get!

Adam and Eve had been brainstorming with God for what felt like an eternity.

"Two dozen hours?" asked Adam.
"One seventh of a week?" suggested Eve.
God shook his head and sighed. "Let's just call it a day."

Eve wore a fig leaf in the garden but what did Adam wear?

He wore a hole in that fig leaf.

If Eve was the first carpenter, she also must have been very rich.

Eve was a carpenter because she made Adam's banana stand.
And there is always money in the banana stand.

So my wife asked me yesterday "What would you do if You and I were 'Adam and Eve'?"

I replied nonchalantly, **"I'd fap and go to sleep. That would solve most problems."**
P.S: A'yup, I slept on the couch. :/

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're n**..., so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"
(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)

When was the longest day in the Bible?

The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.

A child asked his father:

"How were people born"? So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and had babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him: "We were monkeys, then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Yes...First Computer was from Apple

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said,

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?

The topic for my ninth-grade class was palindromes, words or sentences that are the same read forward and backward. I asked the question, "What was the first thing Adam said to Eve?"
I was expecting the answer "Madam, I'm Adam," but one student had a better reply:
"Wow."

The oldest laptop can be traced back to Adam and Eve

An Apple with very limited memory (1 Byte), single core and OS written in Python.

What do you call security guards at the Apple store?

Adam and Eve.

Three nuns die and go to Heaven...

At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.
"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.
"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.
"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.
"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.
"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.
"Oh, that's a hard one..."
The gates swing open.

After Adam and Eve arrived in Eden, he stayed out late a few nights wandering the garden.

Eve became suspicious.
Are you running around with another woman? Eve fired off.
What other woman? Adam exclaimed You're it!
That night, Adam was awakened by Eve poking him in the chest.
What are you doing?
Counting your ribs.

Three nuns die in a car c**..., when they get to heaven, the angel says they have to answer a question to get in

So the angel asks the first nun
Who was the first man?
And the nun replies, Adam
The angel allows her in and turns to the second nun
Who was the first woman?
The second nun answers Eve
Correct, in you go replies the angel
Then turning to the third nun the angel asks
I'm afraid this question is rather difficult. What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?
The third nun thinking says Oh, that's a hard one
Yes, you're in. Replies the angel.

lf Adam & Eve were Chinese we would have been in paradise

Because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake

A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're n**... and they're eating fruit.

The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.

The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.

Three Nuns Die And Each Have To Answer A Question From God To Get Into Heaven...

God asks the first Nun, "Who were the first two people?"
She says, "Adam and Eve".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the second Nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?"
She says, "The Garden of Eden".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the third Nun, "What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?"
She says, "Hmm, that's a hard one."
He says, "Okay, you're in."

How were people born?

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Adam Eve joke, How were people born?

jokes about adam eve