The Best 35 Adam And Eve Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Adam And Eve jokes. There are some adam and eve forbidden fruit jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these adam and eve lanza puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Adam And Eve Jokes and Puns

The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.

It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.

A Briton, a Frenchman, and a Russian are standing and staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve...

"Look at their calm, their reserve" says the Briton. "Surely they must be British!"

"Nonsense!" Replies the Frenchman. "They are beautiful. Surely they must be French!"

The Russian finally speaks, "they have no clothes, no shelter, only an apple to eat, and are being told this is paradise. They are Russian."

What nationality were Adam and Eve?

Soviet, of course. Who else would walk around barefoot and naked, have one apple to share between them, and think they were in Paradise?

A Frenchman, and Englishman, and a Soviet are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden.

The Frenchman says, They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit.

The Englishman says, Clearly, they're English; observe how politely the women is offering fruit to the man.

The Soviet replies, No, they are Russian communists, of course. They have no house, nothing to wear, little to eat, and they think they are in Paradise.

jokes about adam and eve

Why did God create Adam before he created Eve?

So no one would tell him how to make Adam.


The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam & Eve.

It was an apple with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte & then everything crashed.

Do you know the oldest computer was owned by Adam and Eve?

It was an apple, with very limited memory, one byte and everything crashed!

An Englishman, Frenchman, and Russian are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve.

"They are so calm and contemplative. They would surely be English." The Englishman says.

"No," the Frenchman says, "they are naked and beautiful, they would be French."

"My friends," the Russian begins, "no clothes, no shelter, they are sharing an apple between two, they're being watched, and they're told this is paradise. They are definitely Russian."

Why did God create Adam before Eve?

He didn't want any advice on how to do it

There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve..

It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash.

adam and eve finally figured out the whole sex thing...

afterward, adam's kicked back, dazed.

god asks "son, where's eve?"

to which adam replies "she's down at the stream, washing up."

god groans "now i'll never get that smell outta those fish."

You can explore adam and eve noah flood reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean adam and eve begone dad jokes. There are also adam and eve puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Brit, A Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the garden of Eden

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit."They must be British"

They pondered this possibility but the Frenchman and the Russians soon shake their heads in disagreement.

"Nonsense," says the Frenchman. "They're naked and so beautiful, clearly they are French". The Brit and Russian agreed on this point but the Russian soon raises an objection to this.

"No clothes, no shelter and they have only an apple to eat but they're told this is Paradise. They are clearly Russian"

Top Biblical experts have reached the conclusion that Adam and Eve were Soviet citizens

They had no clothes, one apple between the two of them and they thought they were in paradise.

Adam & Eve

The first people to not read the Apple terms and conditions.

It's never worth getting into an argument about creationist Adam & Eve versus evolution

You're just comparing apples and origins

If adam and eve were Chinese

Then we would still be in paradise as they would eat the snake instead of the apple.

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? They're clearly Russian!"

An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are in an art gallery

They are looking at a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden.

"Look at how reserved and calm they are," the Englishman says, "they would definitely be English."

"They are naked and beautiful, they would have to be French." The Frenchmen counters.

The Russian speaks up, "no clothes, no shelter, no bed, they have only an apple between them, and they're told this is paradise. They are certainly Russian."

God sees Adam in the Garden of Eden...

...and asks him how things are going with him and Eve. "Great!" Says Adam. "We just finished having sex! Sex is wonderful!" God asks, "Speaking of Eve, where is she?". To that Adam Replies "Oh, she's down at the beach washing up." God is furious. "WHAT? NOW I'LL NEVER GET THAT SMELL OFF OF THE FISH!"


Since Eve was created from Adam's ribs...

That technically makes her Adam's side chick.

What did Adam say to Eve on Christmas?

It's Christmas, Eve.

Eve gets an apple

Eve: I got an Apple.

Adam: ...

Eve: ...

Adam: ...

Eve: What?

Adam: I thought we'd decided on Android.

Eve: The serpent said this was better.

A Frenchman, an Englishman and a Soviet Russian

are admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden. The Frenchman says, "They must be French, they're naked and they're eating fruit."
The Englishman replies with, "Clearly they're English. Observe how politely the man is offering the woman the fruit."
The Russian then notes, "They are Russian of course. They have nothing to wear, nothing to eat, and they think they are in paradise."

A child and Human Origin

A child asked his father, "How were people born?"

So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."

The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now."

The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!"

His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

In Soviet Russia...

A man asks a Russian: What nationality were Adam and Eve?
The Russian replies: Soviet of course!
The man asks: How do you know?
To which the Russian replies: Well they were both naked, had only an apple to eat, and thought they were in paradise.

The Garden of Eden

A Brit, a Frenchman and a Russian are viewing a painting of Adam and Eve frolicking in the Garden of Eden.

"Look at their reserve, their calm," muses the Brit. "They must be British."

"Nonsense," the Frenchman disagrees. "They're naked, and so beautiful. Clearly, they are French."

"No clothes, no shelter," the Russian points out, "they have only an apple to eat, and they're being told this is paradise. Clearly, they are Russian."

how do you know that adam and eve were white

have you ever tried taking a rib from a black man

A Russian, a Frenchman, and an Englishman are in an art museum admiring a painting of Adam and Eve in the gardens of Eden.

The Englishman takes a look at the painting and says "They look so calm, they must be British!" The Frenchmen responds "no no! They're naked, so beautiful, they must be French!" The Russian says "They have no food, no shelter, nothing but an apple to eat, and they are being told this is paradise? ...They're clearly Russian!"

(Whole thing done in thick fake accents)

Sometimes women are overly suspicious of their husbands

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset.

You're running around with other women, she charged.

You're being unreasonable, Adam responded. You're the only woman on Earth. The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve.

What do you think you're doing? Adam demanded. Counting your ribs!


We would all be living in paradise if Adam & Eve were Chinese..

Because they would've eaten the snake and not the apple.

Three nuns die in a car accident. They arrive at the pearly gates...

...and St. Peter greets them, "welcome to heaven sisters! Before I let you in I have to ask you each a question that you must answer to be accepted into heaven."

The first nun steps up, and St. Peter asks, "who is the son of god?" The nun says, "that's easy. Jesus." The gates open, and she strolls into heaven.

The second one steps up. "Who is Jesus' mother?" She answers, "Mary," and the gates open.

The third nun steps up, and he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun looks flustered, and she says, "that's a really hard one..." And the gates open.

Three nuns

Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car crash and all die tragically.

In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"

The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.

"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"

She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and she enters.

Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"

"Eve!"

*Gong!*

The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.

St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"

Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."

*Gong!*

An Englishman, a Frenchman and an American

were arguing about the nationality of Adam and Eve.

"They must have been English,' declares the Englishman. 'Only a gentleman would share his last apple with a woman.'

'They were undoubtedly French,' says the Frenchman. 'Who else could seduce a woman so easily?'

'I think they were Russian,' says the American.

'After all, who else could walk around stark naked, feed on one apple between the two of them and think they were in paradise?'

Adam and Eve

When God made Adam he noticed that Adam was sad and asked what was wrong.

Adam - I'm lonely.

God - That's no good! How about I make you a companion? One that is gorgeous, give you mind blowing sex, will cook and clean, and doesn't mind it when you spend time with the guys or watch football?

Adam - That sounds awesome! What will it cost me?

God - An arm and a leg!

Adam - What can I get for a rib?


A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said,

A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now." The child ran back to his father and said, "You lied to me!" His father replied, "No, your mom was talking about her side of the family."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the adam and eve epic gilgamesh jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working adam and eve mafia piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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