actors Jokes

funny jokes and hilarious actors stories

What are the best actors puns and pranks?

Did you ever wanted to prank someone about Actors? Well here is a complete list of the top actors jokes:

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

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What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire?

Politics.

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How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

100. One to change it and 99 to stand around and say, "Hey, I could've done that!"

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I should stay up until 3 in the morning more often

I want to make a show with the two actors who have played Khan in the different Star Trek films where we discuss literature. We will call it "Prose and Khans".

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A couple of A list actors are at a casting meeting on a new project about famous composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger chimes in "I'll be Bach"

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How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? (fixed)

100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job.

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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

1) How many actors does it take to change a lightbulb? 10, one to change the light buld and the other 9 to say "that should be me up there"
2) How many gays does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one but it takes a whole emergancy room to screw it back out again
3) How many English men does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, One to climb the British standard safety ladder while wearing a high vis jacket and hard hat while the other one carries out a whole risk assessmennt and cancels the operation as it is deemed unsafe.
4) How many Germans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Ve are asking ze qvestions here!
5) How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? 250,000. One to change the lightbulb and 249,999 to debate whether it was politically correct.

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Why didn't Peter Jackson cast any black actors in The Lord Of The Rings?

He was afraid they wouldn't be taken on their merits, that they'd just be seen as Tolkien blacks.

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Director's Heaven and Hell

A Director arrives below and is met by Satan who shows him around.
Turns out that Hell is a gigantic movie studio with the latest and best equipment, stages, great actors, etc.
Director thinks its great and asks Satan what heaven is like if hell is this good.
Satan says heaven is exactly like this, a movie studio.
The Director is confused.
"Then what's the difference," he asks.
Satan smiles.
"Well, in heaven they actually *make* movies."

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Apparantly there is a term for Baywatch actors in their midlife crisis.

It's called the Hoff-time show.

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CONCLUSION

You've red some of the best actors jokes of all time. We hope you had fun with this collection of 10 puns about actors. Most of the stories are suitable for kids with good sense of humor, children or teens boys and girls, of course dads. You must supervise your chidlren not to read pranks for adults. Note that some jokes are disgusting, filled with black humor so don't tell dirty actors gags to your kids. So please respect and be a good joking daddy !

How do I make my girlfriend or boyfriend laugh? How do you make someone laugh? Well, this list of funny stories will make you cry in laughter just like dad jokes. Some of these actors jokes are funny and some are hilarious. With this collection it's easy to be a joker. Have fun and dig deeper into our archive.

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