The Best 49 Actors Jokes

Following is our collection of Actors jokes which are very funny. There are some actors hollywood jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these actors movie puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Actors Jokes and Puns

A couple of A list actors are at a casting meeting on a new project about famous composers.

Arnold Schwarzenegger chimes in "I'll be Bach"

What do you call a parody when the actors are unaware it's satire?

Politics.

How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb?

100. One to change it and 99 to stand around and say, "Hey, I could've done that!"

I should stay up until 3 in the morning more often

I want to make a show with the two actors who have played Khan in the different Star Trek films where we discuss literature. We will call it "Prose and Khans".

A party was held for current and former actors where you had to come as your favourite musician. When Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked what he was going to wear, his response was

I'll be Bach


I think mascots are the hardest roles for actors to play.

They really have to get into their characters.

A group of actors performed an on stage reading of the Oxford dictionary.

The audience wasn't too enthralled with a play on words.

Three foreign actors applying for the part of an angry man are asked to call out their numbers. First one goes "Me first actor", second one goes "Me second actor". The third one smashes all furniture and goes...

"method actor"

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

10.

1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.

Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.

Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.

"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.

"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.

"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.

Why's Guantanamo Bay full of actors?

Because they all shot pilots.

You can explore actors spielberg reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean actors forgetful actor dad jokes. There are also actors puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How many Asian-American actors does it take to change a light bulb?

None - because they would all be replaced by white actors.

What do loud-mouthed Italian actors drink when they're mountain-climbing?

Alppuccinos

In a videogame movie, what do you call your ideal set of actors?

Your dreamcast

Where do James Bond Actors go when they die?

00Heaven

All those car commercials that say "real people, not actors"

I agree, actors aren't real people.

What do actors do when they make a mistake?

They react.

Game of thrones actors numbers leaked online

Someone called Kit Harrington...

"Hello, who's this?!"

"It's Ben."

"Ben who..?!?"

"Ben-d knee."

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"


Who are your favorite actors of all time?

Mine are Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin

When actors get drunk

To play a scene where a character is drunk it's method acting

So I'm sure breaking bad must have had plenty of meth head acting

I kind of feel bad for all of these big name actors and Hollywood people being outcast because of their deviant sexual behavior

Oh well, at least they can still be president.

I hate it when comedy actors try and do serious roles.

Like that tiger from The Hangover doing Life of Pi.

liam neeson is the taco bell of actors

it's the same 4 ingredients 50 ways but i always have to try their new taco just in case my breath gets taken again

Arnold Schwarzenegger gets a call from his agent...

Who tells him that an up-and-coming director is looking for German- and Austrian-born actors for a movie.

"It's a little different than the stuff you're known for," the agent says, "It's a period piece about classical music composers. Should I arrange an audition?"

"There is no need," Arnold says. "I'll be Bach."

Sean Hannity hates crisis actors

So he decided to retire.

My sister was in a school play with an auditorium that was packed. My mom said with how hot it was, it's going to be tough for the actors.

I said "Don't worry, it builds character"

Why are actors told to 'break a leg'?

Every play has a cast.

What's the difference between Abraham Lincoln and Harvey Weinstein?

Actors don't miss Weinstein

Why does America have the best movie industry in the world?

In the rest of the world, all the best actors play soccer.

Most high profile actors claimed it took anywhere from 5-30 minutes of strenuous but simple practice to be able to cry on cue

Squinting at the screen like that won't help

Why do we tell all actors to 'break a leg'?

Because every play has a cast.

There are actors called Tom Holland and Tom Hollander

I can only deduce from this that there are also actors called Tom Holland With A Vengeance, Live Free or Tom Holland & A Good Day To Tom Holland.

What do you call a play with soft drink actors?

What do you call a play with soft drink actors?
A fantamime

Priests and actors

What's the difference between an actor and a priest's sex life?

The actor uses birth control and the priest doesn't need it.

I've been holding auditions for actors to play a new Fantastic Four team this afternoon...

... it's so stressful.

It's just been one Thing after another.

Jussie Smollett paid two black actors to beat him up,

when Liam Neeson would have done it for nothing.

I realize there are some mediocre actors out there

Didn't realize Jussie Smollett had to be jailed for bad acting.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.

Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

Actresses and actors who lose an Oscar all get the opportunity to act together.

Happy for the person who won.

How many actors does it take to screw on a light bulb?

None, they force stage crew to do it.

One day Brock Lee fell off stage during filming.

He bumped his head pretty hard, and fell into a coma.

After a while, the director and other actors urgently went to the hospital to check up on him. The doctor who was overseeing Brock came out and said

"We hope he gets better soon, but as of now, he is in a vegetative state."

Why do other actors hate working with Charlie Sheen?

Because he is bad with lines!

Why do we tell actors to break a leg

Because every play has a cast

Why was Minecraft the movie cancelled?

Because all of the actors wore blockface.

A bunch of actors were getting ready to be in a movie about famous singers and they were deciding who's gonna be who

RDJ said I'll be Beethoven and Hugh Jackman said I'll be Freddie Mercury and then everyone turned to Arnold Schwarzenegger said I'll be Bach

Why do actors tell each other to "break a leg"?

Because every play needs a cast.

Where do dead James Bond actors go when they die?

00Heaven (no disrespect meant, just remembered it now)

What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?

671 Hallmark movies.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the actors audition jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working actors performers piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes