The Best 46 Acto Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Acto jokes. There are some acto country jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these acto night puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Acto Jokes and Puns
What does an actor sing in the shower?
Soap opera
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
What actor do horses like the most?
Matthew McConaug-hay
The actor who plays Wolverine once owned a sea cow, but it was murdered...
...it was a crime against Hugh's manatee.
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
10.
1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.
Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.
Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.
I wish someone would actually name the actor who plays Wolverine
Everyone I know just calls him Huge Jacked Man
An actor was fired from a movie for being a cocaine addict.
He kept blowing his lines.
Why do Actors like Coke so much?
....Because they love doing the lines.
If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life....
Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?
Why did the actor jump off a building in Times Square?
He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.
You can explore acto javier reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acto set dad jokes. There are also acto puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What does an actor eat for breakfast?
Prop tarts.
Bonus: What does an actor eat for a snack?
A: Prop corn.
Which actor is always criticising churchgoers?
Christian Slater.
I'm a new actor and just shot a pilot...
...turns out I wasn't supposed to use a loaded gun.
Which actor is known for his brilliance at mathematics?
Add'em Sandler
I just don't know about this actor they have playing Pennywise in the new IT movie...
He's got some big shoes to fill.
An actor walked into a bar...
An actor walked into a bar...
He then shouted: "CAN WE GET SOME GLOW TAPE ON THIS THING!"
Actor
"What do you do for a living?"
"Im an Actor?"
"Oh really!, what restaurant do you work at?"
The actor of Hagrid asked me why I want his signature
I said: "I am a giant fan!"
An actor walks into a bar
He says, "can I get some glow tape on this thing?"
What do actors do when they make a mistake?
They react.
Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"
Why did the actor that employed a dwarf to drive him around never get any role?
Because he had too little to chauffeur himself.
When actors get drunk
To play a scene where a character is drunk it's method acting
So I'm sure breaking bad must have had plenty of meth head acting
I saw that actor from "Walk the line" in the snow yesterday.
He was Joaquin in a winter wonderland.
Which actor started roaming around the woods with dogs?
Colin Feral.
An actor had been struggling to find work . . .
He would get repeatedly rejected from every audition. One day he tried out for a role as a vampire. The casting director told him he had never seen anyone suck so bad.
The actor who played Pee Wee Herman, Paul Reubens, has decided to start his own dry cleaning service.
It's called Drop Your Pants and Jacket Off
Why are actors told to 'break a leg'?
Every play has a cast.
Actor playing Anakin Skywalker asks, "who's going to be in the scene where I lose all my limbs?"
The director says, "just You an' McGregor."
Why do we tell all actors to 'break a leg'?
Because every play has a cast.
Why did the actor in the prescription drug commercial cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
There are actors called Tom Holland and Tom Hollander
I can only deduce from this that there are also actors called Tom Holland With A Vengeance, Live Free or Tom Holland & A Good Day To Tom Holland.
What do an actor and a person with Alzheimer's have in common?
They both act like it's the first time they've had this conversation.
Actor Hugh Laurie was so fond of the works of Samuel Beckett that he once devoured an entire anthology of his poetry.
Hugh felt that he deserved to be a poet Laurie ate.
What's the name of the actor who lost his 4th son?
R: Harrison Ford
(where is son four)
... Yeah, this was really bad
The Actor just received an Emmy and he is thanking people,
He says I'd like to thank the Sun, without it none of this would've been possible .
You know which actor is best known for his headshot?
John Wilkes Booth
How many actors does it take to screw on a light bulb?
None, they force stage crew to do it.
Why did the actor fall through the floorboard?
He was going through a stage.
Why do other actors hate working with Charlie Sheen?
Because he is bad with lines!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg
Because every play has a cast
Why do actors tell each other to "break a leg"?
Because every play needs a cast.
What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?
671 Hallmark movies.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Which actor could never play Quasimodo?
Humpfree Bogart
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the acto bar jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working acto trouble piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.