Acto Jokes
39 acto jokes and hilarious acto puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about acto that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Charming Humor Acto Jokes with Loads of Fun
What is a good acto joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
What does an actor sing in the shower?
Soap opera
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
The actor who plays Wolverine once owned a sea cow, but it was murdered...
...it was a crime against Hugh's manatee.
How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
10.
1 to change it and 9 to say they could have done it better.
Three actors are deciding on roles for a movie about classical music.
Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and Arnold Schwarzenegger are all taking part in a new movie about classical composers.
"I think I'll play Beethoven!" declared Matt.
"I'd like the role of Mozart!" Brad decided.
"I'll be Bach." said Arnie.
I wish someone would actually name the actor who plays Wolverine
Everyone I know just calls him Huge Jacked Man
An actor was fired from a movie for being a c**... addict.
He kept blowing his lines.
If the actor who plays Wolverine were to reveal that he's been a con-artist his entire life....
Would that mean this has all been a huge act, man?
Why did the actor jump off a building in Times Square?
He wanted to make a hit on Broadway.
What does an actor eat for breakfast?
Prop tarts.
Bonus: What does an actor eat for a snack?
A: Prop corn.
Which actor is always criticising churchgoers?
Christian Slater.
I'm a new actor and just shot a pilot...
...turns out I wasn't supposed to use a loaded gun.
Which actor is known for his brilliance at mathematics?
Add'em Sandler
I just don't know about this actor they have playing Pennywise in the new IT movie...
He's got some big shoes to fill.
Actor
"What do you do for a living?"
"Im an Actor?"
"Oh really!, what restaurant do you work at?"
The actor of Hagrid asked me why I want his signature
I said: "I am a giant fan!"
An actor walks into a bar
He says, "can I get some glow tape on this thing?"
What do actors do when they make a mistake?
They react.
Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"
Why did the actor that employed a dwarf to drive him around never get any role?
Because he had too little to chauffeur himself.
When actors get drunk
To play a scene where a character is drunk it's method acting
So I'm sure breaking bad must have had plenty of m**... head acting
An actor had been struggling to find work . . .
He would get repeatedly rejected from every audition. One day he tried out for a role as a vampire. The casting director told him he had never seen anyone s**... so bad.
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