The Best 54 Activity Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Activity jokes. There are some activity routine jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these activity active puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Activity Jokes and Puns

Panda and a Prostitute

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute. The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"

The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.'

The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '

The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'

The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves'

How many introverts does it take to change a light bulb?

Why must it be a group activity?

What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?

Digging for booty.

Activity joke, What's a necrophilic pirate's favorite activity?

So



the new Paranormal Activity 3 is about a ghost who stalks little girls and makes them play with him late at night when the mum and step-dad are not around.

Glad to see Michael Jackson back to his old tricks.

Im not racist but... I will always believe in one activity that is better off segregated into whites and colored.

Laundry.


The blinds store

So there's this store down the street called "Bailey's Blinds", and I can't help but wonder that it must be a front for some sort of illegal activity. Money laundering, perhaps? Or maybe it's an incognito hub for illicit products of some nature. I mean, how can a business possibly function for over 15 years while consistently profitable, by selling nothing but blinds? ...It's a shady business if you ask me.

After my grandfather recovered from his second heart attack at 64, he went to the doctor.

The doctor told him - "It's safe for you to resume normal sexual activity."

Without skipping a beat my grandfather replied - "Oh thank god, I was getting sore from the wife's kinky stuff."

Activity joke, After my grandfather recovered from his second heart attack at 64, he went to the doctor.

What is a pigs favorite activity?

Porkour

What is a depressed person's favorite outdoor activity?

Cryaking.

I'm sorry.

What's an activity 9/10 people enjoy?

Gang rape.

I found the meaning of life!

noun

the condition that distinguishes animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.

You can explore activity conduct reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean activity databases dad jokes. There are also activity puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


How does one refer to intentionally harming the national bird of the U.S?

It's an ill-eagle activity

Is Google male or female?

Female, because it knows everything, and secretly tracks your activity.

I got a fitbit to get a sense for my activity level

After a few days of wearing it, it asked if I was a tree

What's a depressed teenagers favorite activity?

Making their wrist look like their jeans.
(I'm sorry)

My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account.

They didn't believe I bought a gym membership.

Activity joke, My bank just called me about suspicious activity on my account.

I'm trying to make out with my gf tonight without sucess. Any activity subjection?

Not movies.

Due to the rise of suspicious clown activity, Party City has removed all associated costumes from its' shelves...

... Clinton and Trump are furious.

The golf joke

What's the best part about golf?

It's the only activity where you actually aim for the hole under 18 and you don't go to jail.


What's Tom Brady's favorite sexual activity?

Deflatio

A vegan club is the worst place for social activity.

It's impossible to meat people there.

Criminal activity report

I read this morning that someone pick pocketed a midget. How could someone stoop so low?

Last night I went to a group activity called Fight Club...

I arrived late so I didn't hear the rules, but I enjoyed it anyway.

What is a zombie's favourite activity on a cruise ship?

Shuffleboard!

What do you call a music group that has been participating in illegal activity online

The Black IPs

I wouldn't say pooping is my favorite activity.....

But it's a solid number two.

What is a catholic priests favorite activity?

Preying

Help! I need activity suggestions. I'm going to hang out with my father, first thing tomorrow morning. He's a retired Naval officer and an alcoholic.

What do you do with a drunken sailor, early in the morning??

I bumped into two average Joes hanging out together, so I booked it the opposite direction...

... pair-a-normal activity freaks me out.

Did you know Nebraska has the highest level of depression and extra-marital activity?

It's a sad state of affairs.

Cr

Mexico had an earthquake which was a 6 on the Richter scale

Guess you can say there was seis-mic activity down there

I tried to bond with my son by teaching him how to play the theremin.

My wife didn't think it was a hands-on activity.

In their biology class, students are given an activity that introduces them to relative dating...

One Student: "Relative Dating? This isn't Alabama!"

I think my phone is alive

It has cellular activity

My colleagues wanted to do a team building activity, and someone suggested a ropes course.

A few folks were hesitant, but I'm happy to say everyone came. I've never experience such fantastic bondage.

What's a seal's favorite social activity?

Clubbing...

I'm so sorry

Breaking bread with your middle-eastern friends...

Is a naan-secular activity everyone can enjoy.

What's an activity that 9/10 participants enjoy?

Gang rape. Sorry. Seriously, really really sorry.

After someone pointed it out to her, my mother asked me to explain the difference between the District of Columbia and the country Colombia.

So explained to her that one of them is famous for it's drugs, corruption and blatant criminal activity, while the other historicly lost to England on penalties in this years world cup.

They say the feds track all internet activity and look out for keywords that indicate terrorism or otherwise

I wanted to test this out and Googled "how to kill President"

Few days later I received a care package containing ammo

How many introverts does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Why does everything have to be a group activity?

A group of people are touring an old, 16th-century castle one day.

The tour guide seems to be doing a great job, explaining things in detail, when one of the tourists asks a question.



"I heard from a friend that this castle was haunted! Is that true?"



The tour guide, without hesitation, says "Oh no, I've been here for 300 years and I've never seen any paranormal activity."

I encountered some paranormal activity at the local airport.

My plane wasn't delayed.

A dentist is watching The News

The news: flosing was the #1 activity of last year

*detnists searches up flossing on the web*

Dentist: SON OF A B**** 😑

The wife said: "Bulls can engage in sexual activity more than 20 times in a day. I wish you could do that..."

And the husband replied: "Just remember they do it with more than one cow..."

What is atheism

A non-prothet activity

A hundred year old man goes to the doctor for a checkup

The doctor: "How are you?"
The man: "Very good! I have a new girlfriend!"
Doctor chuckles....
The man: "She is twenty years old!"
Doctor: "... but you know, every sexual activity could mean death!"
The man: "What can I say, would be a pity if she died..."

A panda spent the night in bed with a prostitute

The following morning as he is about ready to leave, the prostitute yells after him, "Hey, aren't you going to pay me?"
The panda appears confused, so she throws a dictionary at him and tells him to look up 'prostitute.' The definition reads: 'A woman who engages in promiscuous sexual activity for pay. '
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up 'panda.'
The definition reads: 'An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves.'

A cop was patrolling a neighborhood after receiving a call from dispatch about suspicious activity.

He stopped a man walking past and asked, "Seen anything unusual?"

"I saw a dolphin wearing a hat once," said the man.

"I meant around here," the cop said annoyed.

*"Nah man, they live in the water."*

What was the favorite activity of olden day peasants?

Serfing.

The saddest activity in my life is crushing my Coke cans.

Its soda pressing.



(tch tch, that was lame)

All my friends know my second favorite activity is making bad jokes.

My favorite activity is making lists that start at two.

My doctor told me to take up an activity that takes me out of the pub.

So, I've started smoking.

Little Johnny was participating in a class activity.

The teacher went around asking her students to use random words she gave them in a sentence.
Johnny was asked to use the word facinate in a sentence.
He scratched his head and wondered for a minute then said, "my mom bought me a shirt with 10 buttons but I could only facinate."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the activity interactions jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working activity strenuous piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes