Witty Activities Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
Obama has suspended fundraising
activities
Postby Jack Flash » Sep 22 2012
10:12:03 am
In light of Mitt Romney's recent
statements to the press, Obama has
Obama has suspended fund raising
activities.
In light of Mitt Romney's recent statements to the press, President Obama has decided to let Mitt Romney do his campaigning for him.
You want some some dating advice? Here you go.
A man wanted to find a woman and asked the computer to find him the perfect match: "I want someone who is small and cute, loves the water sports and enjoys group activities."
Back came the answer: "Marry a penguin."
Sunday in church after St. Patrick's Day
It was a sunday after St. Patrick's day in the church of a small village in the west of Ireland. Obviously all the people were more or less hungover, which infuriated the pastor of the village.
"It's a disgrace how we celebrate our most important saint by indulging in binge drinking and other improper activities. If I could have all the wine in the world, I would throw it in the river!"
There was a wave of murmur among the churchgoers.
"If I could have all the beer in the world, I would throw it in the river as well!"
The people put their heads down in guilt, thinking about what they had done.
"If I could have all the SPIRITS in the world, I would throw them in the river with the beer and the wine!"
Now the church was completely silent.
After a short while, the musical conductor of the church spoke up, "Now let us sing hymn number 369, *'Shall We Gather at the River?'*"
---
I heard this story from the ambassador of Ireland in Finland.
What do you call two debunked ghost sightings?
A pair'a'normal activities.
What do you call a Transformer that engages in i**... activities?
Optimus *Crime*.
During activities I'm like batteries
I'm never included
Imagine you're a millionaire. Write down your activities in a sheet of paper.
Teacher: Why are you not writing anything?
Me: I'm waiting for my secretary.
I got a job assisting a fledgling orchestra with their day to day activities and helping to organize upcoming shows...
My official title is Band Aide.
(I thought of this in the shower, so it's definitely not funny)
After years of my mom telling me to bond with my stepdad...
We finally bonded over a shared annoyance of her forcing us to do bonding activities.
I guess you could call it ironic bonding.
As compensation for their appalling behaviour, United Airlines are going to sponsor a lot more community sports and activities
Their first project will be Drag Racing
I think my neighbor might be involved in some i**... activities.
I heard him confess to tax evasion when I was smoking m**... in his attic.
You can explore activities fun reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean activities petty dad jokes. There are also activities puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear Customer,
Due to recent i**... activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.
-Sincerely, your ISP.
Two young boys go to a store
They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."
A refrigerant walks into a bar...
The bartender asks, how's it going there partner?
The refrigerant answers, well, not going so well, you see back when I was just a wee lad I always wanted to be so much more. I knew my life was being wasted on the mundane activities of day to day life. Then when I turned 5, I started....
**the bartender interrupts**
buddy I'm sorry can you speed it up? I've got customers to serve…
I'm sorry I can't, bad things happen when I condense
My wife said I need to stop suggesting activities that result in us committing s**...
My company is organizing a "fun" activities for the new year.
I signed up for the 401K but I don't think I can run that far.
New marketing campaign for outdoor activities:
camping... it's in-tents.
AI and automation is going to give everyone a lot more time for leisure activities...
Everyday is the weekend when you're unemployed!
A man walks into a gym
He walks up to the owner and says, Hey! What are all these lines for?
The owner replies, Oh, these are the lines to the different activities
That's the kick line, that's the weightlifting line, that's the squat line, that's the-
The owner paused, looking worried.
The mans says, what's wrong?
The owner slowly looks at him and yells, We forgot the punchline!
What do you call the funny activities of a s**... deviant?
Hikinks.
I've come into a lot of cash recently doing unethical activities
If it wasn't dirty money before, it certainly is now.
West London police wish to alert local residents about the activities of the infamous cross-eyed burglar.
If you see this man staring in your windows,
warn the people next door.
Med school interviewer: So concealer, what are your extracurricular activities
Concealer: I shadow
Growing up my grandma loved reading me Mark Twain. It combined her to favorite activities,
Spending time with her grandson and using the N word.
Haven't done any healthy activities during quarantine but still managed to stay in shape..
Unfortunately, the shape is potato.
What do you call a Prime Minister who spies on all your activities?
Justin Truding.
hehe.
A year ago,I tried to network around and create a group of guys with similar taste and do activities together.
For some reason, the prosecuting lawyer and media keep mentioning it as a ring.
An interesting title
In high school kids used to say i resembled a large bird so they would exclude me from activities.
I guess that would make me Ostrich-sized
I was an exchange student in Chernobyl...
There were so many extra-testicular activities
p**... joke
I took my baby daughter to get her shots. As the pediatrician asks us about feeding and activities, she drops the question "How's the p**...?"
I replied "I don't know. I haven't tried it."
I am not allowed to go to her doctor's appointments. :(
What did Mike Tyson say to the Mind Flayers who tried to recruit him on their ship?
I won't be a part of your illithid activities.
Word of the Bible
Whoever lies with a man as with a woman must be s**....
--- fortunately both recreational activities are legal in Canada
