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Action Movie Jokes

45 action movie jokes and hilarious action movie puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about action movie that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Action Movie Short Jokes

Short action movie jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The action movie humour may include short movie title jokes also.

  1. Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies forever. You know what they say about old habits.
  2. Stallone thought of creating an action movie about composers. Stallone: I'll play Beethoven
    Van Damme: I'll be Mozart
    Schwarzenegger: Shut up! I'll not say it.
  3. Did you know they are making an action movie about the great composers? Arnold Schwarzeneggar says he'll be Bach.
  4. People are getting angry about an actor practicing cannibalism on a female actress during the production of an action movie set in ancient Rome. Personally, I'm gladiator.
  5. My date and I had moved onto the topic of movies... "I love car chase action scenes", she said.
    Me, a fruit stand vendor: "I think we're done here."
  6. I don't understand why there aren't more black action movie stars. I love affirmative action.
  7. Bruce Willis... Bruce Willis will probably keep making action movies. Because, you know what they say about old habits...
  8. Ever notice how horror movies are the only ones you try to ruin? No one ever consoles their girlfriend during an action movie and says "relax, this will never happen. It isn't real."
  9. Y'all heard about Tom Cruise's dog? It's getting it's own action movie.
    It's called Mission Impawsible.
  10. Bruce Willis sure does like to be in action movies I guess what they say about old habits is true.

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Action Movie One Liners

Which action movie one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with action movie? I can suggest the ones about movie and hollywood movie.

  1. What do you call a Christmas tree that only appears in action movies? Spruce Willis.
  2. What do you call a shellfish Action movie star? Jean Claude Van Clam.
  3. Why does Bruce Willis keep making action movies? Because his old habits, die hard.
  4. If spaghetti made an action movie, what would it be called? Mission: Impastable!
  5. Liam Neeson doesn't want to do action movies anymore. Taken: A Break
  6. What kind of bird would make a great action movie star? Steven Sea-gull
  7. What do you get when you cross R. Kelly with a famous action movie star? Peeanu Reeves
  8. Did you hear about that action movie about camping? Every scene was really in tents.
  9. Avatar: The Last Air Bender live action movie
  10. Why are Jews so good at making action movies? Shlo-mo.

Action Movie Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about action movie you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean friends movie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make action movie pranks.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and arnold schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."

I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.

She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.

Did you hear that they're producing an action movie about a team of crime-fighting composers?

They already approached Arnold Schwarzenegger about playing fellow Austrian Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, but he said "no, I'll be Bach!"

Tom Cruise is filming a new romantic-action movie in support of body positivity. Both him and the lead actress gained 300lbs for the role.

The movie is called: m**... Impossible.

Action Composers

All the action heroes are at Stalone's house when their phones all go off. Their agents give them news about a new action movie focused on the great composers. After the call they are all talking about who they would like to play.
Stalone: I'm not going to be in it if I can't be Mozart.
Statham: I'm rather partial to Beethoven myself.
Jet Li: Chopin!
Everyone having had their turn they turn to Schwarzeneggar who is straight up not interested in the project.
Arnold: No! This is a dumb movie.
Everyone: Come on...
Arnold: Fine! I'll be Bach.

A New Movie - Stephen Spielberg

Stephen Speilberg has just recently decided to create a new action movie about the greatest composers on Earth. His creates his cast and asks them 'Who do you want to be' ...
Bruce Willis says to him 'I ll play Beethoven, i've always fancied myself as a bit of a genius'
Liam Neeson then pipes up saying 'Im going to be Mozart, i find his music very relaxing and very baroque'
Lastly Arnold Schwarzenegger says 'Ill be Bach'

Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger are talking about making a new film together.

Sly: I wanna show the world that we're more than just action movie stars. I wanna make a movie about classical music and classical composers. I know you guys love that stuff too. What do you think? Will you help me make a movie about it and show the world how cultured we are?
Bruce: I could play Beethoven. I've always wanted to play a tortured genius
Sly: You would be great. And I'll be Tchaikovsky. What about you Arnie?
Arnie: I'll be Bach

Steven Spielberg, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone are in a bar

After a few drinks Steven says he's thinking about making an action movie about classical composers
Sylvester says "I wanna be Mozart!"
Arnold says "in that case...I'll be Bach"

It was going to be a long road trip. I popped on my headphones, pulled up a movie on my phone, and got lost in the action as the car headed down the highway.

The passengers probably wished that I'd waited until I wasn't driving to do that.

Steven Spielberg has a new idea for a movie

He says he wants to make an action movie about classical music composers.
Sylvester Stallone says "I wana be Motzart!"
Arnold Schwarzenegger says "In zat case...I'll be Bach"

Louis c**...'s movies are the opposite of his actions

They're getting pulled *away* from the public.

Imagine it, you're in an action movie, about to kick down a door and burst into the room killing all the baddies and your witty one-liner is...

Oops wrong theater.

Comeback from the dead Full movie 2014 - The action film 2014

Comeback from the dead Full movie 2014

Three action movie stars are sitting in a bar

So, Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a bar, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."

A Texan's three daughters have a date tonight...

(This joke is especially good live with you miming the actions and doing onomatopoeia - )
A Texan's triplet daughters are going to their first date tonight, so he stands behind their door waiting for their dates to show up.
The first guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thar?"
He stammers "H-hi! My name's Louie, I'm here to get Ruthie and we're going to the movies."
Tex calls Ruthie down and they leave.
The second guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thyar?"
He winces "Hi! My names Freddie, I'm here to get Betty and we're gonna get spaghetti. Is she ready?"
Tex calls Betty down and they leave.
The third guy arrives, opens the door, and the Texan's cocked a gun at his head. c**...-ik! "Who goes thar?"
He waves, "Hi! My name's Chuck..."
\> ***BLAM!****!****!*** <