Gather Around for Heartwarming Action Figure Jokes and Uplifting Humor
My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.
My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.
Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"
Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."
Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard.
I asked the toy store sales assistant if they had any Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures in store...
She replied "Aisle B, back".
Have you heard about the incel action figure?
It comes in a sock instead of a box.
I think me life is like the Truman Show.
I was tryin' ta figure out what type a genre show it be.
I thought, "It might be a drama," but me life isn't sad enough.
I thought, "It might be an action tale," but alas, 'tis too boring.
"Then, perhaps, it be a comedy," I thought, but me life isn't funny, so I cast that idea overboard.
"Well," I thought, "it might be British."
Last year I made seven figures.
And that's why I got sacked from the action figure factory.
So I've been trying to sell my Ubermensch Action Figures...
But it's difficult to cater to such a Nietszche Market.
I saw a Star wars action figure in a Corolla today
It was a toy Yoda in a Toyota
Did you guys hear about the new Ray Lewis action figure?
Batteries included.
If it makes you feel any better I made the joke up a few months ago and it was a Chris Brown joke, but with Rice being topical and all.
Which popular action figure has a farm?
GI GI Joe
Where are the Arnold Schwarzenegger action figures?
Aisle B, back
I already used my wishes
Me: please just one more wish
Genie: no, I said 3
Me: please
Genie: no
Me: [holding my new Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello action figures] Genie please
You can explore action figure reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean action figure dad jokes. There are also action figure puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
My son was playing with miniature models of a court room.
He told me they were "class action figures."
Making 6 figures a year sounds like a dream come true...
Unless you work for an action figure manufacturing company. Then it sounds like a quick way to the unemployment line.
A bunch of 80s action stars dressed up as Skid Row for Halloween but they couldn't figure out who would be the lead singer.
But Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach"
What do you call a green-skinned, pointy-eared Star Wars action figure driving a Japanese car?
A toy Yoda driving a Toyota.
Who's Immature?
My wife accused me of being immature. I set down my action figures, pointed at the door and said 'get out of my secret lair'
What is the difference between a Star Wars action-figure collector who smokes e-cigarettes and a Catholic Priest?
One is a toy-loving vapist, and the other...
A frog wants to get a loan
He goes to a bank and there is a pig behind the front desk.
The pig introduces herself
I'm Pattywack, how may I help you
The frog asks for a loan and to use an action figure as collateral.
Pattywack explains that the action figure is not enough to be collateral.
Pattywack's boss overhears this and enters saying
It's a knickknack, Pattywack, give this frog a loan.
Yo Momma is so fat…
That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
I just opened an action figure factory
It's a pretty small operation right now, just me and my buddy Frank and we're only making one kind of Dracula action figure. We really need to get things off the ground so I have to make every second Count.
Working in an Action Man factory pays very well indeed...
You can make six figures in an hour.
m**... is a lot like master-baiting.
If you can't figure out the fly, your rod isn't gonna be seeing any action.
I went into a toy store for some Christmas shopping and asked the clerk, "Where are the Schwarzenegger action figures?"
He said: "Aisle B, back."
Human organs are the opposite of old action figures
People are willing to pay a lot more for them once you take them out to the original packaging
What car does a star wars action figure drive?
Toyota
I ordered a set of Avengers action figures. [Infinity War Spoilers]
Half of them were just boxes of dirt.
I hear they came out with a new Chris Brown action figure
Battery sold separately
Did you guys hear about how Mattel took back all those Terminator action figures?
It was a *Total Recall*
Jeez mom!
They aren't s**... dolls, they're s**... action figures!!
When I was a kid, my Chuck Norris action figure broke all my other toys while I was at school.
When my mom tried to throw him away, he killed her.
