Acting Jokes
147 acting jokes and hilarious acting puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about acting that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
I'm having a great time reading acting jokes to other people. I love making people laugh, and these jokes are just perfect for that. I've been reading them aloud to my friends and family for years, and they always seem to enjoy it. I think it's because I have a knack for delivering them in a way that makes people laugh. Plus, I always choose the best jokes to read, so that helps too.
I am the entertainment for the night, reading aloud some of the funniest jokes about acting that I could find. We are all enjoying ourselves, especially me, as I love making people laugh. I am reading jokes about how actors are always over-dramatic, how they are always trying to be someone they're not, and how they are always memorizing lines. We are all having a great time, laughing at the jokes and at the expense of the actors.
Why are these jokes good and fun for other people? Because they are true! And we can all relate to them in one way or another. We have all seen how actors over-act, how they try to be someone they're not, and how they memorize their lines. It's all part of the fun of watching a movie or a play. And these jokes just highlight that.
Quick Jump To
- Short Acting Jokes
- Acting One Liners
- Quit Acting Jokes
- Acting Out Jokes
- Bad Acting Jokes
- More Acting Jokes
Funniest Acting Short Jokes
Short acting jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The acting humour may include short actor jokes also.
- My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up." "Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
- Guns are like gum... Pull it out in class and everyone acts like you've been best friends since kindergarten.
- Deaf people aren't known to be very rational They have trouble making sound decisions.
- Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government? Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
- Vladimir Zelenski is a backwards politician. Most politicians act like heroes to get elected and comedians while in office.
- In order to attract women I like to use this quote from shakespeare's Hamlet, Act III, Scene IV, line 82. "Hello."
- My friend told me, You have a Bachelor's, a Master's, and a Ph.D., but you still act like an idiot. That was a third degree burn.
- During interviews he seems like such a nice guy, but the actor who plays Wolverine is a real phoney It's a huge act, man..
- Clooney, Dicaprio, and McConaughey all want to put a movie together Clooney says "I'll direct."
Dicaprio says "I'll act."
McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write." - My Dad Is A Magician He can turn alcohol into domestic violence... But his disappearing act is even better.
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Acting One Liners
Which acting one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with acting? I can suggest the ones about acts and acted.
- When my mom told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
- My wife asked me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down.
- What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Acting surprised
- Yo mama so old... ... I told her to act her age, and she died.
- What does SWAT stand for… … in Texas?
Stand, Wait, Act Tough - My boyfriend is an atheist and treats me like a goddess He acts like I don't exist.
- I don't know how to act my age I've never been this old before.
- How do you sneak into a school for ghosts? Just act super natural.
- Two Helium atoms were acting funny HeHe
- I hate when people say "act like an adult" Have you seen adults lately?
- Either my wife genuinely thinks she's a goldfish... Or she's just acting Koi.
- Landlords are so stuck up They act like they own the place.
- I once was kidnapped by mimes. They performed unspeakable acts
- My friend has recently started collecting acting equipment. Props to him.
- When a flat-Earther acts carelessly, what is he doing? Living on the edge.
Quit Acting Jokes
Here is a list of funny quit acting jokes and even better quit acting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him? He couldn't handle his boos.
- Why did the sailor quit his acting career? Because he wasn't landing any good roles.
- Asia Argento quitting acting to become projectionist
- After DiCaprio got brain damage, he decided to quit acting and become a ballet dancer. What a leotard.
Acting Out Jokes
Here is a list of funny acting out jokes and even better acting out puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife and I had a huge argument today. By the time we were finished, she was on her knees begging... for me to come out from under the bed and act like an adult.
- I got booed off of the stage at the start of my comedy act for saying that I still live with my parents... That's the last time I do a gig at an orphanage.
- Did you here about the woman who got attacked by a gang of mimes? They performed unspeakable acts on her.
- I told my wife, "You're starting to act like my ex-wife" She freaked out and said, "You never told me you had an ex-wife!"
I replied, "I don't." - My teenage son treats me like a god. He acts like I don't exist, until he wants something.
- I hate it when people act all intellectual… I hate it when people act all intellectual and talk about Mozart
… when they probably haven't even seen one of his paintings - What did 2 say to 3 when they saw 6 act like an idiot Don't mind him. He's just a product of our times
- My wife is leaving me because of my obsession with acting like a news anchor. More on this after the break.
- Ok Chicago, please be responsible. If the game doesn't go your way tonight... At least act like you've been there before.
- My girlfriend told me that her gran died of food poisoning. The toughest part was acting surprised.
Bad Acting Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad acting jokes and even better bad acting puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had a bad audition... ...but I acted like I didn't care.
- There are two bad-for-you items on the shelf disguised as health food. One looks at the other and says "act natural".
- I realize there are some mediocre actors out there Didn't realize Jussie Smollett had to be jailed for bad acting.
- I was watching a movie where the acting was so bad that it turned into a football (soccer to us yanks) game.
- Bad Japanese Joke Q: What do you call the act of a Japanese person giving fallacio to a frat boy?
A: A brojob - I overcooked some pasta earlier - it got all soggy and mushy. Making the best of a bad situation, I put it in a mug and tried to down it. I soon gave up though - it was an act of *Fusilli Tea*.
- Tom Hanks' acting was so bad... That's why he got cast away
- I find that I can act more freely after I get a bad haircut It's like my barber let's my hair down
- Braces at 22 isn't so bad When I talk to people and they notice my braces I just casually say "I'm researching and method acting a roll for Jaws from James Bond".
- The terrible twos are not so bad . . . . . . my kid has been acting presidential
Hilarious Acting Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about acting you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean actress jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make acting pranks.
Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the g**..., make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....
Like he's a Muslim or something.
I'm not just p**...-ing.
I'm o**... acting.
My Internet is acting like a black guy
It doesn't work
Broken Promises
While my son was at the school yesterday he was acting up. The teacher called on him and asked, "Do you remember what you promised me?" The boy said, "Yes, that I wouldn't misbehave anymore." Then the teacher asked, "And do you remember what I promised you?" The boy responded, "Yes, that if I misbehaved again I'd be sent to the principals office, but since I broke my promise it's ok if you do too."
A woman goes to the vet with her pet alligator...
She says "doctor, there is something wrong with my gator. I just caught him acting like a cat and meowing at a squirrel instead of eating it!"
After running a few tests the vet concludes that the alligator has a-reptile dysfunction.
I have a friend that's a recovering kleptomaniac
anytime his symptoms start acting up, he takes something.
My friend has gotten twelve auditions for movies in the last week alone.
I asked him how and all he could say was "It's this new medication". He never told me what it was, but I could safely assume that it was a fast acting drug.
My wife always freaks out when she's on her period
Keep having to tell her to stop o**... acting.
What do auditioning for an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast
People need to stop acting like animals have the same emotions as humans...
...they hate it when we do that.
Just found out the turkish President is getting into acting
He shot a pilot a few month back
Gender inequality.
There is an inequality when it comes to men and women. For example...
If a man sleeps with hundreds of women he is respected and labled as a stud or a player. Nothing bad is said about him and he goes on acting like the player he is.
However, if a woman that goes around sleeping with hundreds of men, she's your mum.
Police report: Group of mimes and jesters arrested after brawl.
Police arrested a group of mimes and jesters for starting a fight.
After questioning the 2 gangs, the cops were convinced the jesters were just acting like fools. But the mimes have yet to make a statement.
Why did the sun's spouse leave it?
Because it kept acting like the world revolved around it.
Just took an acting class....
Now I'm qualified to be a soccer player
FRESH HARAMBE OF BELL AIR....
In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gunshot just before I stopped breathing air.......
My ex just called me, sobbing on the phone to tell me she has AIDS and I should get checked.
The hardest part is acting surprised.
There was a boy with lung cancer...
One day a priest came to visit the boy in the hospital. The Priest sat on the boy's side to comfort him and pray. Soon, the boy was unable to breathe. Acting quickly the priest grabbed a pen and paper to gather the boy's last words. Days later at the f**..., the priest read the boys last words and it read " Dear Father Dave, you are on my oxygen tube."
I signed up for some Meteorology courses.
MET 104 Standing in Deep Water
MET 105 Standing in Heavy Rain
MET 106 Acting Amazed
Whenever I shoot something into the trash, I yell "Kobe!"
But then, my friend follows up by yelling "Jack!" I don't get what he's trying to say, but he sure is acting cheesy.
My overdramatic girlfriend came up to me, balling her eyes out and confessed to having the most painful period she's ever had before
I looked her right in the face and said "stop o**... acting"
My teacher said, because I was acting up in class, I have to do a book report on the largest bone in the arm.
Isn't that humorous?
I wish people would stop acting like Chuck Norris is a god
If he really is so good why doesn't he teleport behind me and slam my head into the keyboard then hhjfdjusodbfhzoakcblkqoscsnjqpqkc
Biblical Parenting Techniques
Joseph: What should we do about Jesus acting up in school?
Mary: I don't know it's not like raising the Son of God came with Emmanuel
Trump has been criticized for being incredibly sexist, homophobic, fundementalist, and wanting to bring back slavery
In other words, he's been criticized for acting like a Muslim.
My friends have been meddling in my business a lot, and it's annoying. Today, one told me to stop acting like a flamingo.
That's when I put my foot down.
My crush told me that I was like a brother to her while we were in the car...
We were driving to New York at the time, and about halfway up the east coast she told me I was like a brother to her. She was surprised when I proceeded to turn the car around and drive the other way without even acting phased. She asked "where are we going now?" My only answer was "Alabama."
My son said something is wrong with the number five...
I said " You are right, I did notice it acting odd lately.."
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband...
Wife: My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!
Psychiatrist: Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.
I think I want to take up acting...
Does anyone know of a local soccer league I could join?
What do you call it when a woman is on her period?
o**... Acting.
You should try...
Dad: I cut my finger
Me: you should put some tryactin on that
Dad: what's tryactin?
Me: try acting like a man
if Newton heard someone suggest his corpse could move without an external force acting upon it...
...he would roll over in his grave.
My girlfriend was crying because of a pain around the belly
I told her she is o**... acting.
What will they call Arnold Schwarzenegger after he stops acting?
The ex-terminator
My wife had a terrible mood swing during her period.
She's just o**... acting.
Two IT pros are being held on charges for m**...
The local hospital's life support machine was acting up, so they turned it off and back on again.
Why are women moody during p**...?
Because they're o**... acting.
A woman showed up at my house today
She said Tell your son to stop copying me!
Johnny! Stop acting like an idiot! I shouted to my son
For like a week every month, my wife will make a big deal out of the smallest things
I think she's just o**... acting
Did you hear about the wife that was yelling at her husband during her period?
She was o**... acting.
The guy that played Killmonger in Black Panther is great
He's the Michael Jordan of acting.
Aaron Paul prefers to stay in character even when the cameras aren't rolling
It's called methead acting
Women complaining about menstrual cramps...
...are simply o**... acting.
Alternate dimensions joke
A man learns how to go into alternate dimensions where he can become other people. He says "This is awesome, I've always wanted to be Arnold Schwarzenegger acting in the Terminator films, but I've also always wanted to compose classical music. So first, I'll be Bach"
Trust no one. Not even your own shadow.
Mine's been acting shady.
My uni just started an acting troupe called the Footbridge
It's like the Footlights, but more pedestrian.
A wife is getting fed up with her husband always acting like a detective.
They get into a huge fight about it and she finally says I think we need to split up
The husband replies That's a great idea we can cover more ground that way
(Sorry if this has been posted before I only heard it today)
Did you hear about the acting role Nicolas Cage turned down?
Neither has he
Pablo Escobar was taken down with the assistance of Columbian children acting as police informants
When he was arrested, Pablo furiously cried out "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those Medellín kids!"
My wife accused me of acting like a flamingo
So I had to put my foot down...
I went on a date with a small carp once. Bit of a tease, kept acting shy.
She was a little koi.
My girlfriend said, Your obsession with acting like a detective is getting out of hand. I think we should split up.
I said, Good idea, we can cover more ground that way.
I'm no longer calling period attitude p**......
Nope, I'm calling o**... acting.
Apparently Colin Kaepernick is pursuing a career in comedy
He's landed some acting roles but he can't do stand-up.
I honestly think girls need to stop acting like their periods are the worst things in the world
It's really just a bit of an o**... action, don't you think?
Since the success of The Rock, fans suggest more wrestlers should participate in acting.
They are. It's called wrestling.
How do you maintain your dignity working as an official for President Trump?
Acting!
I just got my first big acting break in a play about neurosurgery...
I'm a bundle of nerves...
When people tell me to stop acting like a flamingo...
...that's when I put my foot down.
I'm 28, and my parents got really angry at me for acting like a flamingo all the time.
When they told me that, I had to put my foot down.
My wife told me to stop acting childish
I told her to get out of my fort
What do you say to a Lady who's acting up while on her period?
Please stop o**...-acting
[P.S.. i sure hope this hasn't been posted here before]
I wasn't doing great in school, I was stressed out and acting up, so the school tried this new technique on me.
It's called a de-tension.
On our first date, I couldn't figure out why my wife was acting like a fish.
Turns out she was just being Koi.
My wife is threatening to leave me because of my obsession with acting like a TV news anchor.
More on this after the break.
What's the difference between an improv teacher and an improv student?
The improv student might have a promising acting career ahead.
Scientist recently linked a disease to women acting like a Karen.
It's mad cow disease.
My husband told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo...
So I put my foot down.
Yesterday, my wife finally told me I had to stop acting like a flamingo.
Reluctantly, I had to put my foot down.
Little Johnny, can you tell me what "Monumental" means?
"It means acting crazy," says little Johnny.
"Where did you hear that?" the teacher asks.
"From the Jamaican guy next door.
I have so many insecurities but from now im going to start acting like a plant.
Get to the root problems
Arnold Schwarzenegger and his friends are acting in a short film about classical pianists and musicians
.
One of friends says, "I'll play Beethoven."
Another says, "I'll be Mozart."
-
In the end, Arnold says, "I'll be Bach."
Brother's acting all high and mighty now that he has COVID
Thinks his s**... don't stink
