Cheeky Acted Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle
One guy wrote on his FB status:
"Last night, even after having 7 drinks I felt confident to drive, but l acted responsibly & took an Uber."
400 Likes, 40 Comments. But the best comment was from his best friend:
"Where did you go in UBER bro, party was in your house"
Him: Sorry I got drunk and acted like an ass at your wedding.
Her: IT WAS YOUR WEDDING TOO!
A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven
The first thing he does is ask God, "Who really killed JFK?"
To which God replies, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald. He acted alone."
The conspiracy theorists thinks to him self for a moment then says, "This cover up of the truth goes even further than I thought!"
Anyone hear about the conspiracy theorist who died and went to heaven?
When he arrived, God stated that He grants all His children one question. The man promptly asked, "Who killed Kennedy?" God replied, "It was Lee Harvey Oswald, on the 6th floor, with his own gun, and he acted alone." The man thought for a moment then disappointingly replied "This goes higher up then I imagined."
I shot my first turkey today!
But for some reason everyone in the frozen food section acted really surprised.
Newton's 4th Law
A student in bed will remain in bed unless acted upon by a large enough panic
My girlfriend told me "You're mine!"
I asked her if that was the reason why she acted like a gold digger
The job interviewer asked me, what my weakness is.
So I told him that I am brutally honest.
He acted surprised and said he sees this as a strenght, not as a weakness.
But after that I was thrown out of the building only because I replied that I am not interested in the opinion of an incapable fat bald man.
Jesus was able to hold the 12 apostles together...
He acted as a crossmemeber.
I had a bad audition...
...but I acted like I didn't care.
There was a young boy who failed school,
Acted a bit of a fool.
Went out to Iraq, smoked a whole lot of crack,
And his legs ended up in Kabul.
You can explore acted uncanny reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acted fossil dad jokes. There are also acted puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The other day a midget started insulting me for no reason...
I chose to be the bigger man and acted like it never happened.
What would it be like if everyone acted like yes-man all the time?
The world may never no.
Nobody really knew what Stalin acted like behind closed doors
No luck with windows either, the man had some Iron Curtains
I used to work in a Fishmongers and acted like I knew everything.
I soon learned my plaice.
What would you call Daniel Craig if he had acted in Dr. No?
Denial Craig
A rejected Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle villain concept shows a subset of the Foot clan that acted as kamikaze pilots, attacking the turtles in their own base.
They were sewer-side bombers.
