Acre Jokes

Following is our collection of logs humor and hundred one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Acre puns for adults, dirty whittle jokes or clean tract gags for kids.

There is an abundance of firewood jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 8 funniest jokes on acre. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any parcel witze you can hear about acre.

The Best jokes about Acre

A quarter acre of undeveloped land may not seem like much to some people,

But to me it's a lot.

Vermont farmer

A texas cattle rancher came to visit a Vermont dairy farm. He gets a tour of the 10 acre farm, and says to the Vermont farmer "This farm aint nothin, my ranch back in texas is so big, it would take us 3 days just to drive my truck around the whole property". The Vermont farmer responds "yup I had a truck like that once"

The Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.

One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could
arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and this conversation ensued:

"Have you any grounds?"
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

"No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
It's made of concrete.

"I don' think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
No, we have carport, and not need one.

"I mean what are your relations like?"
All my relations still in Poland .

" Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

"Does your wife beat you up?"
No, I'm always up before her each morning.

"Is your wife a nagger?"
No, she white.

"Why do you want this divorce?"
She going to kill me.

"What makes you think that?"
I got proof.

"What kind of proof?"

She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say:

My neighbor has a 15 acre farm, he breeds dogs to do work on them. He grows cantaloupe, and come harvest time the dogs sniff out the ripe ones and bring them back to the barn.

He says the breed are Melon Collies

The Ecuadorean Public Works Minister visits his Argentinian counterpart

The Argentinian sends his chauffeur to pick him up in his Mercedes Maybach for lunch in his 10 acre estate. Whilst enjoying lobster, the Ecuadorian asks "where do you get your money from?" The Argentinian says: "do you see that bridge? 30%". Both laugh.

Six months later it's the Argentinian Public Works Minister visiting. He is picked up in a private helicopter and flown to a 200 acre estate on a private island. Whilst enjoying Beluga Caviar the Argentinian asks "where do you get your money from?" The Ecuadorean says: "do you see that bridge?" "Which bridge?" asks the Argentinian puzzled. "See??" replies the Ecuadorean.

I heard my lawnmower was going on a rampage...

It was going on a *grass*acre

[Grass acre, grass massacre](#spoiler)

Who's the biggest player in the Hundred Acre Wood?

Eeyore, he's always chasing that tail.

Why doesn't anyone wear pants in the hundred acre wood?

It makes it easier for winnie to pooh

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes