JokoJokes

Acquired Jokes

37 acquired jokes and hilarious acquired puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about acquired that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking for jokes to liven up your events? Get some acquired taste jokes that you can purchase on lapel pins and bring to life with your witty remarks. Be inspired to become the life of the party!

Quick Jump To

Funniest Acquired Short Jokes

Short acquired jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The acquired humour may include short gained jokes also.

  1. Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney world and the Simpsons. If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.
  2. Businessman: How much will it cost to buy a large singing group? I need one for a party. Lady: Do you mean a choir?
    Businessman: Okay, fine. How much does it cost to acquire a large singing group?
  3. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

    He acquired his size from too much pi.
  4. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was... Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi
  5. Me: How much to buy the singing ensemble? Person: You mean a choir?
    Me: Fine, how much to acquire the singing ensemble?
  6. "How much to buy a singing ensemble?" PRODUCER: You mean a choir?
    "Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"
  7. A guy asks his friend "How much would it cost to buy a singing ensemble?" The friend replies with "You mean a choir?"
    To which the man says "Sorry, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"
  8. The fattest knight at King Arthur's The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  9. How much to buy a singing ensemble!? I asked the clerk. Puzzled, he questioned, "You mean a choir?" Fine! How much to acquire a singing ensemble!?
  10. Do you know what cannibal tribes have said about the taste of human flesh? It's an acquired taste that varies person to person.

Share These Acquired Jokes With Friends




Acquired One Liners

Which acquired one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with acquired? I can suggest the ones about inherited and bought.

  1. EA just acquired a new video game license... Fallout
  2. When do Pirates acquire their crew? During mating season
  3. In a surprise move, taco bell is acquiring Taco Bueno... It's a hostile tacover.
  4. How do you get fish for an aquarium? You acquire 'em.
  5. An Arab prince acquires a dairy farm He's known far and wide as the Milk Sheikh
  6. So, If the Microsoft search engine were to be acquired by Amazon… That'd be Amazing!
  7. As a Brazilian, it really makes me sad to know...... That IBM acquired RedHat :(
  8. I bought a few pieces for my DIY orchestra today some ensemble acquired.
  9. Why do gingers buy so many shoes? It's the only legal way to acquire soles.
  10. What do you call spaghetti you have acquired? Spaghotti
  11. One, Two, Three, Four Items I need to acquire from the store.
  12. My nature loving mother recently acquired some money she wants to invest...
  13. What do you say about a pig who acquires a lot of cash? He's making bankon.
  14. ISIL is now 25¢ from being able to acquire WMDs They are to be given no quarter.
  15. I bought shoes from Target the other day ...target acquired

Acquired Taste Jokes

Here is a list of funny acquired taste jokes and even better acquired taste puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Maybe caviar is an acquired taste... ... and I am not rich enough to acquire it.

    \-rookie987 on liveleak
  • Almas, the world's most expensive caviar, is an acquired taste. If you can acquire it, you can taste it.
  • What do grapefruit and vaginas have in common? The pinker the better and they're both an acquired taste.
  • An african child after drinking sewer water for years... acquired a taste for it.
Acquired joke, An african child after drinking sewer water for years...

The Funniest Acquired Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh

What funny jokes about acquired you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean absorbed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make acquired pranks.

LPT: How to pick up girls

Try this:
1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."

Canine Names

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"

Three gulag inmates

"Three gulag inmates are telling each other what they're in for. The first one says: 'I was five minutes late for work, and they charged me with sabotage.'
The second says: 'For me it was just the opposite: I was five minutes early for work, and they charged me with espionage.'
The third one says: 'I got to work right on time, and they charged me with harming the Soviet economy by acquiring a watch in a capitalist country.'"

If I find out who stole my copy of MS Office, I'll kill you...

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you give my MS Office back now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.
You have my Word!

A man goes to his church to ask the priest a question.

"How much does it cost to get a church-singing group?" the man asks.
The priest replies, "you mean, a choir?"
"Uh, okay, I didn't think that mattered. How much does it cost to *acquire* a church-singing group?"

Acquired joke, How do you get fish for an aquarium?