Acquire Jokes

Following is our collection of obtain humor and investors one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Acquire puns for adults, dirty get jokes or clean insider gags for kids.

There is an abundance of purchase jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 15 funniest jokes on acquire. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any grab witze you can hear about acquire.

The Best jokes about Acquire

Disney now owns Star Wars, Marvel, Indiana Jones, Disney World and the Simpsons.

If they acquire my parent's divorce they will own my entire childhood.

Businessman: How much will it cost to buy a large singing group? I need one for a party.

Lady: Do you mean a choir?

Businessman: Okay, fine. How much does it cost to acquire a large singing group?

LPT: How to pick up girls

Try this:

1. Acquire several dozen limes.
1. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
1. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
1. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
1. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
1. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, "Sorry, I'm bad at Pickup Limes."

Me: How much to buy the singing ensemble?

Person: You mean a choir?

Me: Fine, how much to acquire the singing ensemble?

"How much to buy a singing ensemble?"

PRODUCER: You mean a choir?

"Fine, how much to acquire a singing ensemble?"

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...

...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says to Mitt:
"I really like parts of American culture, especially American television. My favourite show in the world is 'Star Trek'. But I only have one question about it. On the ship there are Asians, Caucasians, Africans, Latin- and Native Americans and all sorts of other people from around the world and the universe, but there are no Arabs on the ship. Why is that?"
Mitt shruggs his shoulders and replies:
"Well it is set in the future..."

How much to buy a singing ensemble!? I asked the clerk. Puzzled, he questioned, "You mean a choir?"

Fine! How much to acquire a singing ensemble!?

A scientist is in his lab...

So one day a scientist is in his lab, and he's stressed out. How will he get his next grant so he can do an experiment and feed his family for a while longer? He decides to take a small nap...

Then it hit him. After several all-nighters he came up with a prototype for **The World's First Truly Frictionless Object!**

Skip over to the next day, when he is to present his case to the local university in hopes to acquire a grant. He goes with his paperwork, the prototype, and a huge smile on his face.

Unfortunately for him, the panel rejected his proposal because they couldn't grasp the concept.

EA just acquired a new video game license...


A man goes to his church to ask the priest a question.

"How much does it cost to get a church-singing group?" the man asks.

The priest replies, "you mean, a choir?"

"Uh, okay, I didn't think that mattered. How much does it cost to *acquire* a church-singing group?"

Buy a man a fish, and feed him for a day, but teach a man to fish...

And he has to buy a fishing pole, tackle, fishing line, and acquire a fishing licence.

How do you acquire a small version of Thor's hammer?

Breed a horse with a donkey and you'll have a little mule near.

Maybe caviar is an acquired taste...

... and I am not rich enough to acquire it.

\-rookie987 on liveleak

Why do gingers buy so many shoes?

It's the only legal way to acquire soles.

One, Two, Three, Four

Items I need to acquire from the store.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes