acquainted Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious acquainted puns

Israeli tourist

An Israeli tourist is visiting New York and hires a cab to drive him around the city. He engages the driver in small talk to get better acquainted.

"Where are you from?" he asks.

"I'm from Palestine" replies the cab driver, "and you?"

"I'm from Narnia."

"Bullshit, that place doesn't exist" says the cab driver.

"Well, you started it" says the Israeli.

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An Israeli tourist on a visit to New York City hires a cab to drive him around the sights.

He engages the driver in small talk to get better acquainted.

"Where are you from?" he asks.

"I'm from Palestine" says the cab driver proudly, "and you?"

"I'm from Narnia."

"Bullshit, that place doesn't exist" says the cab driver.

"Well, you started it" says the Israeli.

👍🏼

Italian and a Rabbi are riding on a train together...

They get acquainted, and at one point the Italian takes some sausage out of his bag and offers some to his companion.

Rabbi asks, "Is it made from pork?"

"Yes", replies the Italian.

"Well then, I can't eat it. It's not kosher. God's law."

The Italian shrugs and eats the sausage, then pulls out a bottle of wine, offering some.

Rabbi looks at the bottle and says, "It's not kosher, I can't drink it. God's law."

Italian says, "Wow your god is strict. What if there was nothing kosher around to eat or drink?"

Rabbi replies, "Well, he makes exceptions in situations of life and death."

With that, the Italian points a gun at the rabbi and says, "Drink the wine or I'll blow your head off!!"

Rabbi grabs the bottle, and with a very annoyed look on his face, downs the rest of it.

"Please don't be upset with me. I just wanted you to have some wine", says the Italian.

Rabbi says, "Of course I'm upset! Where was the gun when you had some sausage left?!?"

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A 17-year old dude goes to the pharmacy

A 17-year old dude goes to the pharmacy.

"Hello mister, i'll be at my new girlfriends house for dinner today... you know.. become acquainted with her parents and so on. After the dinner though, i'm probably gonna have some sexy time my girlfriend. You know the deal.
So is there something you could suggest me?

"Well.. i'd suggest some... condoms?

"Well.. uhm.. sounds cool.. I.. will take some"

As he is about to leave the pharmacy he stops and returns.

"Wait a second. You know... her mum... she's hot af... and maybe i could assort some.. you know.. sexy time with her as well.
You know what.. ima take some more condoms."

Later at the dinner the young man is completely silent and is just looking at the table.

His girlfriend says.

"If i'd known you're gonna be all silent and stuff i wouldnt have invited you to this dinner!?"

The young man then answers:

"If i'd had known your dad is a pharmacist i wouldnt even be here."

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Cupcakes.

A mother and her little girl were at the park enjoying a beautiful summer day. While they were there a young couple were getting acquainted behind a thin veil of bushes. The little girl took notice of their actions and asked her mother what they were doing. A quick blush appeared on the woman's cheeks as she brushed off the question. "Oh they're just making some cupcakes."

The next morning the little girl rushed into the kitchen where her mother was enjoying a morning coffee.

"Mommy mommy! You and daddy were making cupcakes last night!"

"Uh, yeah... How did you know?!"

"I licked the frosting off of the couch when you were done!"

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the widow Boudreaux

Three Cajuns were at work when one (named Boudreaux) suddenly died of a heart attack. 

One of the other Cajuns said, "I know where he lived, but I wasn't personally acquainted with his family. How are we going to break the news?" 

The other Cajun replied, "Don't worry. I am plumb full of tact and know what to do." 

So the two Cajuns went to Boudreaux's house and rang the doorbell. When his wife answered, the other Cajun said, "Hello, are you the widow Boudreaux?" 

She replied, "My name's Boudreaux, but I'm not a widow." 

"The hell you ain't."

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What are the most funny Acquainted jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Acquainted? Well, here are the best Acquainted dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Acquainted pick up lines to share with friends.

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