Acidic Jokes

46 acidic jokes and hilarious acidic puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about acidic that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Acidic Short Jokes

Short acidic jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The acidic humour may include short acids jokes also.

  1. My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
  2. A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
  3. Sodium Chloride and Sulphuric Acid were in jail Turns out they were in for assault and battery
  4. Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid? To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.
  5. Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
  6. I think my dog is upset I quit doing drugs He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.
  7. For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
  8. For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.
  9. What's the difference between an orange and the Torah? One can make acidic juice and the other can make Hasidic Jews
    (Just made this up today)
  10. My Mom said to stop drinking soda because it has acid in it. I replied," Stop making such baseless accusations".

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Acidic One Liners

Which acidic one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with acidic? I can suggest the ones about sour and acid base.

  1. I'll never forget my dog's last words "You've taken too much acid."
  2. Why would the military use acid? To neutralize the enemy base.
  3. I was arrested for drinking battery acid. But I wasn't charged.
  4. What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids
  5. Throwing acid is wrong... some people's eyes.
  6. Why do people take acid at raves? Because there's so much base.
  7. Some acids walked into the enemy base... Threat Neutralized.
  8. I was on acid and I actually tasted colors. Tasted a lot like paint.
  9. I've heard rumors acid is dangerous. Pretty sure they are baseless though.
  10. What do you call a mexican protein? Amigo Acid
  11. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
  12. Coffee is acidic. Until you add pumpkin and spices... Then it becomes basic.
  13. What do you call a Rabbi who is also a chemist? an Acidic Jew.
    \*Slaps Knee\*
  14. What do you call a protein that has anger management issues? Amino acid!
  15. How are synagogues like lemons? They're full of acidic juice.

Acidic joke, How are synagogues like lemons?

Hilarious Acidic Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about acidic you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean acids and bases jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make acidic pranks.

Husband's night out

An angry housewife met her husband at the front door and immediately noticed he smelled of alcohol and perfume.
"I assume," she said with her most acidic sarcasm, "That there must be a very good reason for your coming home at six o'clock in the morning with booze on your breath and another woman's perfume all over you."
"There is," he said. "I'd like breakfast."

What do you call an attractive, Jewish lemon with no worldly possessions?

An aesthetic ascetic acidic Hasidic.

Why do orthodox rabbis like lemonade so much?

Because, it's acidic juice.

Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade?

He's an acidic Jew....

Here's one for all of you baseball and chemistry fans

Hall of Famer Al Kaline wore #6 throughout his career, which actually makes him slightly acidic.

even though coffee is more acidic, all Starbucks coffee products have a pH of 14

Extremely basic

What do you call an orthodox jew that is prone to heartburn?

[My apologies]

My cousin always introduces himself as "Stephen with a P-H"

It's because he's slightly acidic

Why did h**... hate lemonade?

Because it is an acidic juice.

A scientists asks people on the street whats the most acidic thing they own. One man answers its his phone. The scientist replies: No, acidic does not mean dirty

The man replies: I know, my phone has a ph of one

What is the most acidic soup?


Everyone knows part of the way toothpaste works is by equalizing the acidic substances in your mouth.

I mean, it's basic science.

What do you call a Jewish person with a low pH level?

An Acidic Jew!

What do you call someone who only drinks kosher Hydrochloric Acid?

Acidic Jew

Do Hasidic Jews like Acidic Juice?

Why did h**... hate wine?

Acidic Juice.

I went to a Vietnamese soup shop and ordered their top-selling soup.

Me: Is this soup acidic?
Waitress: No, because it's pH0.

What do you call a Jewish person that loves lemons?

An Acidic Jew.

Why do n**...'s hate Starburst candy?

Because they are acidic chews.

If Net Neutrality is repealed...

Will the Internet be acidic or basic?

What do you call a Hebrew with a PH level less than 7?

An Acidic Jew

What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade?

acidic juice

What do you call a Jewish person with a sour stomach?

Acidic Jew

The substance was mildly acidic on the pH scale

It was a solid 5/7

What do you call a rabbi with heart burn?

Acidic Jew

I am attracted to houses.

When I came into my friends' house, she looked at me, absolutely disgusted and gave me an acidic wet wipe to clean up with.

If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...

You're an acidic Jew.
(I made this up, since it seems trendy to let everyone know)

Acidic joke, If you speak Hebrew and life gives you lemons...

jokes about acidic