The Best 59 Acid Jokes

Following is our collection of Acid jokes which are very funny. There are some acid ammonia jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these acid acidic puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements...

So far you could say Bismuth is booming.

For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid.

Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

The police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.

The police charged one and let the other one off.           

A chemistry lab is a lot like a party...

Some people drop acid while others drop the base.

Busted!

A couple days ago a couple kids in high school were busted behind their school. One was eating firecrackers and the other was drinking battery acid.

They were taken to court by the police. The judge thought long and hard what their punishment should be, but just ended up charging the one, and he let the other one off.


I love taking long walks on the beach with my girlfriend....

Until the acid wears off and I realize I am just dragging a mannequin through the parking garage.

Sorting out Problems

Remember, whenever you have a problem with someone, use hydrochloric acid. It's always a solution.

What do you call a mexican protein?

Amigo Acid

What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids.

Unnecessary Arrests

The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

Top Acid Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore acid neutralise reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean acid reflux dad jokes. There are also acid puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why do people take acid at raves?

Because there's so much base.

What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

The difference between sexists and misogynists...

Sexist: I like my women like I like my jeans - loose in the crotch!

Mysogynist: I like my women like I like my jeans - acid washed!

Some acids walked into the enemy base...

Threat Neutralized.

What do you call a protein that has anger management issues?

Amino acid!

What's the difference between a raver and a chemist at a club?

One drops acid while the other drops the base.

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

So a policeman see's two kids in a street corner

One's drinking battery acid while the other is eating fireworks

So the policeman charged one and let one off


Throwing acid is wrong...

...in some people's eyes.

There was a maniac in town earlier today threatening to splash passersby with acid.

Thankfully, police managed to neutralise him.

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

What do you call an acid with an attitude?

A-mean-o acid.

I was on acid and I actually tasted colors.

Tasted a lot like paint.

At school

A teacher writes on the whiteboard: HNO3 and asks a student:

\- What substance is that?

\- Hmmm... wait a moment... It's on the tip of my tongue!

\- Spit it out at once!!! That's nitric acid!

Why don't hippies make good chemists?

Because they're always dropping acid.

The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today.

One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.

Why is a White House press statement like sulfuric acid?

They're both baseless and corrosive.

If I were to drop LSD at a dubstep concert....

Would the acid neutralize the bass?

Why would the military use acid?

To neutralize the enemy base.

Sodium Chloride and Sulphuric Acid were in jail

Turns out they were in for assault and battery

An acid and a base walk into a bar

The police later arrested the two for a salt.

I help blind kids.

Throwing acid usually does the trick.

What do you get when you combine an equally strong acid and base?

Net neutrality.

In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl

- Mary, what is H2SO4?

- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.

Quickly, Johnny says:

- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!

What's the difference between LSD sold by an overweight transgender person and a food that raises bad cholesterol?

Nothing. They're both **trans fatty acid**.

I'll never forget my dog's last words

"You've taken too much acid."

Did you hear about the guy who is accused of attacking people with acid?

I think that these accusations are baseless.

Students are smart

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?

Student: No

Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?

Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.

I think my dog is upset I quit doing drugs

He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.

Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave...

Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.

Cannabis is totally illegal in Saudi Arabia...

but you can still get stoned!

You can even drop acid...

As long as it's on a adulterer's face.

Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid?

To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.

My Mom said to stop drinking soda because it has acid in it.

I replied," Stop making such baseless accusations".

My wife went into hospital last night after an acid attack, "Will I still be attractive?" She sobbed.

The doctor had a quick look, and said, "Sure, but you may have to have some facial reconstruction and wear a mask.... How does that sound to you?"

"Not good!" My wife replied, "The acid only hit me on my leg."

How do you neutralize Lords of Acid?

With some Ace of Base.

A man was arrested last night for drinking battery acid...

He was later charged.

Someone told me that DNA stands for Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Does it not stand for National Dyslexic Association?

Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works.

They charged one, and let the other off.

TIL military personnel are less likely to get acid reflux

Probably because they all have to go through basic training.

Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with LSD and it exploded

That's what happens when you mix acid and basic

How many roosters does it take to fertilize an egg?

A cock-er-two'll-do!

Just heard this for the first time. And while on acid I laughed for two hours at this joke so I had to post it here

For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid.

I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.

What does a ghost take when they have acid reflux?

Phan-Tums

What do you call it when a man in a suit takes some acid?

A business trip

I take LSD every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.

I think it's because the bass neutralizes the acid

What do heart burn chewables and formic acid have in common?

They're both ant acids.

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...Make lemonade.

A chemist walks into a pharmacy...

With a pained expression the chemist asks the pharmacist for some acetylsalicylic acid.

The pharmacist looks confused as he asks, "You mean aspirin?"

The chemist, still in pain replies with exasperation, "Yes! I can never remember that word." (Credit to Mr. Wilgus, my high school chemistry teacher 43 years ago.)

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Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the acid boron jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working acid sulfuric piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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