Acid Jokes

153 acid jokes and hilarious acid puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about acid that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Pining for a good laugh? Look no further than this roundup of acid jokes! Get ready to chuckle at puns about aunty acid, amino acids, nucleic acids, fatty acids, technetium, and xenon. Plus, discover clever ways to neutralise the puns with puns of your own!

Funniest Acid Short Jokes

Short acid jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The acid humour may include short oxide jokes also.

  1. My chemistry teacher told me I had to write a 1,000 word essay on acid. Unfortunately, my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
  2. A chemistry lab is a lot like a party... Some people drop acid while others drop the base.
  3. Sodium Chloride and Sulphuric Acid were in jail Turns out they were in for assault and battery
  4. Why does the military stockpile hydrochloric acid? To neutralize their enemy's strongest bases.
  5. Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
  6. I think my dog is upset I quit doing drugs He hasn't talked to me since the last time I dropped acid.
  7. For our chemistry exam we had to write a thousand words on acid. Unfortunately my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.
  8. For my chemistry homework, I was supposed to write a thousand words on acid. I tried, but my pen turned into a rainbow-coloured giraffe and then the desk melted.
  9. What's the difference between an orange and the Torah? One can make acidic juice and the other can make Hasidic Jews
    (Just made this up today)
  10. My Mom said to stop drinking soda because it has acid in it. I replied," Stop making such baseless accusations".

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Acid One Liners

Which acid one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with acid? I can suggest the ones about salt and amber.

  1. I'll never forget my dog's last words "You've taken too much acid."
  2. Why would the military use acid? To neutralize the enemy base.
  3. I was arrested for drinking battery acid. But I wasn't charged.
  4. What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids
  5. Throwing acid is wrong... some people's eyes.
  6. Why do people take acid at raves? Because there's so much base.
  7. Some acids walked into the enemy base... Threat Neutralized.
  8. I was on acid and I actually tasted colors. Tasted a lot like paint.
  9. I've heard rumors acid is dangerous. Pretty sure they are baseless though.
  10. What do you call a mexican protein? Amigo Acid
  11. What do you call an acid with an attitude? A-mean-o acid.
  12. Coffee is acidic. Until you add pumpkin and spices... Then it becomes basic.
  13. What do you call a Rabbi who is also a chemist? an Acidic Jew.
    \*Slaps Knee\*
  14. What do you call a protein that has anger management issues? Amino acid!
  15. How are synagogues like lemons? They're full of acidic juice.

Acid Base Jokes

Here is a list of funny acid base jokes and even better acid base puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between a raver and a chemist at a club? One drops acid while the other drops the base.
  • Being a clumsy chemist is like going to the rave... Sometimes you drop the base and trip on acid.
  • What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common? Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.
  • An acid and a base walk into a bar The police later arrested the two for a salt.
  • What do you get when you combine an equally strong acid and base? Net neutrality.
  • How do you neutralize Lords of Acid? With some Ace of Base.
  • Did you hear about the guy who's on trial for throwing acid at people? The defense is claiming that it's a *base*less accusation.
  • Acids have a lot of bad opinions... They are definitely not based!
  • What did the DJ do when he spilled acid on the floor? He dropped the base.
  • There was a drug taking chemist in the hallway, really finding his way around a bra I guess he really knew his acids and bases.

Amino Acid Jokes

Here is a list of funny amino acid jokes and even better amino acid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • How do you make a protein? You link amino acids together.
    How do you make an enzyme?
    You wrap proteins together.
    How do you make a hormone?
    You give me your mother for an hour.
  • What do you call an acid with an attitude? Amino acid
  • What did the cytosine say to the tyrosine that was bullying him? You're amino acid!
  • What do you call a couple of amino acids hanging out? Residudes
  • What did the amino acid say when he was asked the time? It's threonine.
  • What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine....
  • What do you call a church for amino acids? The Cysteine Chapel.
  • What part of the Vatican is made entirely out of amino acids? The Cysteine Chapel
  • Where did the amino acid go to church? The cysteine chapel.
  • Why did the amino acids go to prison? They are proteins.
    Edit. Pro-teens
Acid joke, Why did the amino acids go to prison?

Acid Reflux Jokes

Here is a list of funny acid reflux jokes and even better acid reflux puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the man with bad acid reflux say? Oh ma GERD
  • TIL military personnel are less likely to get acid reflux Probably because they all have to go through basic training.
  • What does a ghost take when they have acid reflux? Phan-Tums
  • How do people with acid reflux complain? errr mer GERD
  • What do you get with acid reflux? A sick burn.
  • What does acid reflux and dubstep have in common? They both get better when you drop the "base".
  • What happens when you take too much l**...? Acid reflux
  • I made fun of my mate when his acid reflux caused him to v**...... It was a sick burn.

Fatty Acid Jokes

Here is a list of funny fatty acid jokes and even better fatty acid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What sound does a fatty acid make when it sneezes? "A-COOH!"
  • Who teach fatty acids manners? Daddy acids
  • What do you call someone who dates a skinny bitter person? Fatty Acid
  • What did the skinny fish call the fat fish? Hey fatty... acid.
  • What's the difference between l**... sold by an overweight transgender person and a food that raises bad cholesterol? Nothing. They're both **trans fatty acid**.
Acid joke, What's the difference between l**... sold by an overweight transgender person and a food that raises

Playful Acid Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about acid you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean chemistry jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make acid pranks.

I recently started a company that combines Perchloric Acid with random elements...

So far you could say Bismuth is booming.


A couple days ago a couple kids in high school were busted behind their school. One was eating firecrackers and the other was drinking battery acid.
They were taken to court by the police. The judge thought long and hard what their punishment should be, but just ended up charging the one, and he let the other one off.

I love taking long walks on the beach with my girlfriend....

Until the acid wears off and I realize I am just dragging a mannequin through the parking garage.

Sorting out Problems

Remember, whenever you have a problem with someone, use hydrochloric acid. It's always a solution.

Why was the astronaut so sore?

He had a buildup of ga-lactic acid.

What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill?

A trip without the kids.

Unnecessary Arrests

The other day, a police officer was walking through the park. He saw two kids. One of the kids was eating fireworks. The other was drinking battery acid. The officer immediately arrested both kids and brought them to the station. When they got there, the officer's superior told him to let one of the kids off and charge the other one.

What did phenolphthalein do when he couldn't understand his Chemistry homework?

He just added Acetic Acid until it became clear.

I once knew a girl so basic...

...that if you pushed her into a pool of acid, it'd be considered a-salt.

The difference between sexists and misogynists...

Sexist: I like my women like I like my jeans - loose in the c**...!
Mysogynist: I like my women like I like my jeans - acid washed!

Why did the lead acid battery have to tell the truth?

Because if it didn't it would be Li-ion.

So a policeman see's two kids in a street corner

One's drinking battery acid while the other is eating fireworks
So the policeman charged one and let one off

Never leave Sulfuric Acid in a metal beaker

That's an oxidant waiting to happen.

What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much?

Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect

There was a maniac in town earlier today threatening to splash passersby with acid.

Thankfully, police managed to neutralise him.

Why did the acid perform poorly?

Because it didn't concentrate.

My Chemistry Professor told me that Hydrofluoric acid and Hydrochloric acid are the perfect buffer system.

Her accusations are baseless.

At school

A teacher writes on the whiteboard: HNO3 and asks a student:
\- What substance is that?
\- Hmmm... wait a moment... It's on the tip of my tongue!
\- Spit it out at once!!! That's nitric acid!

Why don't hippies make good chemists?

Because they're always dropping acid.

The police arrested two suspicious men in a car park today.

One was drinking battery acid and the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.

My friends are always tripping on acid

I don't understand why they can't just walk around it

Why is a White House press statement like sulfuric acid?

They're both baseless and corrosive.

If I were to drop l**... at a dubstep concert....

Would the acid neutralize the bass?

An old lady walks into a pharmacy

\- I would like to buy a pack of acetylsalicylic acid.
\- Do you mean aspirin?
\- Oh yes! I couldn't remember the name!

What do you call having s**... while tripping on acid?

A mindfuck.

I help blind kids.

Throwing acid usually does the trick.

why didn't the quickest s**... win the race to the w**...?

It drowned in gastric acid.

I love long road trips with music..

..Until the acid wear off and i realize i'm in an ambulance with the siren on.

In a chemistry class, the teacher asks a girl

- Mary, what is H2SO4?
- Oh god, this is so easy, why can't I remember, it's on the tip of my tongue.
Quickly, Johnny says:
- Then spit it out, that's sulfuric acid!

My chemistry teacher told me to write 1000 words on acid

I tried, but my pen turned into a gorilla and the floor melted.

If you take acid at a track meet...

is it a field trip?

Did you hear about the guy who is accused of attacking people with acid?

I think that these accusations are baseless.

Students are smart

Chemistry Professor: Now, class, here I have a beaker of H2SO4, and here I have a gold ring. Suppose I drop the ring into the sulphuric acid. Will the gold dissolve?
Student: No
Professor: Good. And will you please tell us why not?
Student: If it would dissolve, you wouldn't put it in.

H2O this is water.

H3O+ this is water on acid.
Stay in school kids.

What do you call a fish tripping on acid?

A *pHish!*

What do you call two acids with an attitude?

An a-mean-o acid, but the sour-foul-ric acids are the worst.

Why did the jar of weak acid go to the gym.

To become a buffer solution

Cannabis is totally i**... in Saudi Arabia...

but you can still get s**...!
You can even drop acid...
As long as it's on a adulterer's face.

Two men were arrested, one drank battery acid and the other ate fireworks...

One was charged while the other was let off.

My wife went into hospital last night after an acid attack, "Will I still be attractive?" She sobbed.

The doctor had a quick look, and said, "Sure, but you may have to have some f**... reconstruction and wear a mask.... How does that sound to you?"
"Not good!" My wife replied, "The acid only hit me on my leg."

A spill

While doing a lab experiment I was listening to music by a band who's bassist was a known drug abuser. During his solo, I slipped on some spilled vinegar & lost my grip on a beaker full of sodium hydroxide.
Looks like while he was tripping on acid dropping the bass, I was tripping on acid dropping the base

What do you call someone who only drinks kosher Hydrochloric Acid?

Acidic Jew

If you neutralize l**...

Can you still call it acid?

A man was arrested last night for drinking battery acid...

He was later charged.

Someone told me that DNA stands for Deoxyribonucleic Acid

Does it not stand for National Dyslexic Association?

Police arrested two men trespassing on grounds of the local town hall, after searching them the found battery acid and fire works.

They charged one, and let the other off.

What is the most acidic soup?


Tried to spike my pumpkin spice latte with l**... and it exploded

That's what happens when you mix acid and basic

How many roosters does it take to fertilize an egg?

A c**...-er-two'll-do!
Just heard this for the first time. And while on acid I laughed for two hours at this joke so I had to post it here

What do you call it when a man in a suit takes some acid?

A business trip

I take l**... every time I go to a dubstep concert, but it always wears off.

I think it's because the bass neutralizes the acid

What do heart burn chewables and formic acid have in common?

They're both ant acids.

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...
...Make lemonade.

Acid joke, When life gives you...

jokes about acid