Witty Achievement Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree?
Because they stick.
I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
I wish everyone would lay off Lance Armstrong. What an amazing achievement to recover from testicular cancer and win the tour de France 7 consecutive times. I don't care he used drugs....
when I was on drugs I couldn't even find my bike.
Mother of Six
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement.
He is so proud of himself that he starts calling his wife Mother of Six in spite of her objections.
One night they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home, and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, Shall we go home Mother of Six?
His wife, irritated by her husbands lack of discretion shouts back… Anytime you're ready, Father of Four!
Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a lifetime achievement award?
He was outstanding in his field...
What is Austria's greatest achievement?
Convincing everyone Hitler was German
My first one here.
Once there was an old lady who lived her life without having sex ever. She was very proud of this achievement as the only one in the town where she lived.
While in her death bed she made a wish that this achievement of her be made public on her grave so she told someone to make her grave read as " born virgin, lived virgin and died virgin".
The sculptor who was suppose to make that text happen on her grave found the message to be long so he shortened it
"Parcel returned unopened".
What does Gen Z have in common with the Greatest Generation?
They consider it a great achievement if they survive childhood without getting shot.
I have been telling lots of monarchy jokes lately,
and it may be my crowning achievement.
(Sorry for being a royal pain).
I made an IRL dad joke a few weeks back...
and it may be my crowning achievement.
We did a delayed Christmas at the in-laws a few weekends back (COVID happened) and my FIL is the kind of jokester that does things like wrap one boot in one present for his wife and the other boot in another.
Mom-in-Law says, "look at him, stretching one gift into two...."
Father-in-law then opens a gift from her and it's a winter vest. Without missing a beat I say, "look who's stretching gifts now, where's the box with the sleeves!?"
I never post so I had to build karma before sharing but hopefully it was worth the wait!
My scarecrow just won a Lifetime Achievement Award...
He was out-standing in his field.
To the guy who invented jackhammers,
that was a pretty ground breaking achievement
You can explore achievement scientific reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean achievement spacetime dad jokes. There are also achievement puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
All lives begin...
...with a crowning achievement.
Chairman Mao was a keen rock climber who managed to scale all the top ten peaks of China. He commemorated his achievement by getting his ears pierced and adding 10 pieces of jewellery to represent each peak.
he was....(ahem)....MaoTenEarring.
Did you hear about the baby with the gigantic, record-setting head?
The mother called it a crowning achievement.
5 WoW related jokes
Yo mama so fat chain lightning hit her twice.
Yo mama so fat, when she logged in for first time she got the World Explorer achievement.
Yo mama so fat, she caused the Cataclysm by running to a buffet sale.
Yo mama so fat, she's immune to Death Knight's Death Grip.
Yo mama's so fat, it takes a 10 man raid of warlocks to summon her.
Why'd the farmer win the lifetime achievement award?
Because he was always out standing in his field.
So a dentist just finished his first root canal...
I guess you could say it was his crowning achievement.
Saw a little girl walk into my store today wearing a shirt that said FINISHER 2019...
I said sweetie, that's a basic achievement, FINISHER 2020 is the real achievement.
Giving birth...
Is a crowning achievement.
"What's your proudest achievement?" asked the job interviewer.
I said, "Getting here on time."
Why is an achievement in Mathematics greater than an achievement in any of the other sciences?
Because for an achievement in math, you receive Abel whereas for science, you receive Nobel.
A constipated woman once went 45 days without pooping
It was a crowning achievement
Hitler's biggest achievement: the Autoban
When he logged himself out of the game
I just won the 2016 friendzone award.
I'd like to dedicate this achievement to my imaginary girlfriend, my waifu, and that cute girl in high school whom I still obsess about.
I met this guy who said he was a Mir Space Station cosmonaut.
But I thought it was quite an achievement.
