Achieve Jokes

63 achieve jokes and hilarious achieve puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about achieve that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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jokes about achieve

Best Short Achieve Jokes

Short achieve puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The achieve humour may include short accomplishment jokes also.

  1. I'm pleased to announce Reddit has achieved its goal in becoming one of the top 10 green companies in the world! The front page is now made up of over 90% recycled content
  2. My wife accused me of achieving nothing... So I told her "well I won the Leslie Neilsen award at school."
    "What's that?" she said
    "It's a big building with kids in it"
  3. Why is it easy to come up with nicknames for a tree? Because they stick.
    I came up with this one, I hope it's good cause it's my only achievement in life.
  4. When I was young, I set a life goal for myself: I will buy a Lamborghini at the age of 40. This year, I've finally achieved half of the goal. I turned 40.
  5. The average person has s**... 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!
  6. Hear the one about the Buddhist monk who *almost* achieved total spiritual enlightenment? He only made it to Nearvana.
  7. My friend had an affair with a patient. Worked so hard to achieve his degree and one mistake means he lost everything. A great loss to the veterinary profession.
  8. Did you hear about the scarecrow that won a lifetime achievement award? He was outstanding in his field...
  9. They say German durability and build quality is unmatched, especially for appliances such as ovens. How did they achieve such quality? They tested their ovens 6 million times.
  10. Thanos would have made a great President. He would have achieved social distancing in a snap.
Achieve joke, Thanos would have made a great President.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about achieve can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of achieve puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Achieve One Liners

Which achieve one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with achieve? I can suggest the ones about succeed and reach.

  1. Two over achievers walk into a bar.. Clearly it wasn't set high enough.
  2. I achieved my New Year's revolution from last year. I made it all the way around the sun.
  3. I achieved my personal best in the 100 metres yesterday... 74 metres.
  4. Your momma's so fat She achieved herd immunity by herself
  5. What do they tell Soviet children who want to achieve their dreams? Shoot for the Tsars.
  6. There are two steps to achieve success in life. 1. Never say everything you know.
  7. There are only two rules in achieving success. 1. Never tell everything.
  8. My scarecrow just won a Lifetime Achievement Award... He was out-standing in his field.
  9. To the guy who invented jackhammers, that was a pretty ground breaking achievement
  10. All lives begin... ...with a crowning achievement.
  11. Prostitutes are really over achievers... I mean all they do is succeed.
  12. What did the steak say to his child after he Achieved something? Well Done,My Child.
  13. Why did the Toucan achieve his goal? Because Toucan, not Toucannot.
  14. Giving birth... Is a crowning achievement.
  15. If a vegan becomes a vegetable, have they achieved their ultimate goal?

Achieve Goal Jokes

Here is a list of funny achieve goal jokes and even better achieve goal puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I have achieved my life's goal of writing an entire theatrical performance made up entirely of puns. It's a play on words.
  • My parents told me to work until my bank balance looked like a phone number I'm happy to say that I've achieved my goal, and am retiring with $911.
  • Last year I was quite miserable and depressed, so I made it my new year's resolution to turn that around. Thanks 2016, you helped me achieve my goal and made me depressed and miserable.
  • My New Year Resolution of 2016 Is to achieve my goals of 2015
    Which I had should have done in 2014
    And promised in 2013
    And planned in 2012
    And to remember to write 2017 instead of 2016
  • I'm gonna catch a little fox and put him in a box And then at least one of my childhood goals will be achieved
  • My goal is to become the oldest person on Earth I know it sounds like a long shot, but I'm making progress every day.
    Just now I achieved a new personal best!
  • A toothless budgie will always achieve his goals Because they always succeed
  • The Internet at my school went out today Looks like Kim Kardashian finally achieved her goal
  • The comparisons between Trump and h**... are a bit unfair... ...h**... actually achieved his goals.
Achieve joke, The comparisons between Trump and h**... are a bit unfair...

Silly Achieve Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about achieve you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean overcome jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make achieve prank.

Why is an achievement in Mathematics greater than an achievement in any of the other sciences?

Because for an achievement in math, you receive Abel whereas for science, you receive Nobel.

Finish what you start!

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start.
So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake.
I feel better already.

e**... your ears for this one

A woman asks her husband to start taking those pills that will help him achieve an e**.... He agrees. The next day, she asks if he got the pills. "Picked 'em up today. Here you go honey," and tosses her a bottle of diet pills

"A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others." ― Ayn Rand

Obviously He's never been a cotton plantation s**... owner.

There were 2 blondes...

So I was sat on my porch one day and I saw 2 blondes working hard at the end of the street. One was digging a hole and the other would fill it in immediately after the first was done. This went on for about 2 hours until I walked over and said "Hey, you two are working pretty hard there, but I don't understand what you are trying to achieve?"
To which one of the blondes replied "Well there's usually 3 of us, but the one who plants the trees is off sick today".

A child asks his father: ''What is '**...''?''

He answers: ''Well son, it is something that two people that really like each other do to each others g**... with their mouths so that they achieve o**....''
The child: ''Okay... then what's ''written''?''

why couldn't the snake achieve an e**.......

He had E-reptile dysfunction.

How did h**... achieve 99 firemaking?

He burned yews.

what did the hat say to the other hat?

"you go on ahead."
I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!

Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness?

He was too super fish oil.

Just because you're a trash doesn't mean you can't achieve great things

It's called garbage can, not garbage cannot.

Why did the Senator get on Viagara?

He wanted to achieve e**... reform.

What do Ted Cruz and an impotent Japanese man have in common?

Neither can achieve an election

They say it's amazing what we can achieve if we all put our heads together

But if I could put my heads together, I'd never leave my room

What did the Boston Marathon Bomber achieve that h**... couldn't?

The Marathon Bomber was able to end an entire race.

When it comes to women, I'm usually denser than a collapsed star.

Sometimes I even achieve singularity.

If your ever feeling like you can't achieve something, just remember...

Today, amy winehouse is six years clean.

Today my mentor told me if I want to achieve great things I'd have to make sacrifices.

Anyone know where to buy live chickens for cheap?

Interviewer: So Japan, I hear that you're the least obese country in the world. How did you achieve this?

Japan: Ah. So did I ever tell you what happened the last time we had a Fat Man in Japan?

I've been training for months to achieve the world record title of 'Furthest e**...'.

I can't believe how far I've come.

DNA is like the menu at Taco Bell

Different combinations of the same four ingredients to achieve endless results.

Whats the difference between a feminist and a t**...?

A t**... might actually achieve something in his life.

Of all the people in my life that have inspired me to achieve greatness...

I would say the most inspirational was an obese man I saw cliff jump into the sea.
He had a massive impact.

I have achieved immortality

I found a mysterious lamp and sure enough there was a genie inside.
I wished that I won't die a v**....

My friend really wanted a swimming pool

He's asking us for donations to help achieve his dream.
So I gave him a bottle of water.

Bobby joins the military.

Recruitment sergeant: what would you like to achieve?
Bobby: I want to be a general after 2 years.
Recruitment sergeant: are you insane?
Bobby: is that required?

have faith in what you can achieve..

Take Beethoven as an example, he was deaf and everyone just told him that he won't be a great musician...
But he just didn't listen

Achieve joke, have faith in what you can achieve..

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these achieve jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.