Aches Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
I told my wife I was gonna start smoking p**.... She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say...
m**... truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.
What do you call 1000 aches?
A *kilohurtz*.
The Trap
A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid, so she laid down a trap.
One evening, she suddenly sent the maid home and didn't tell her husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story, "Please excuse me my dear, my stomach aches" and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went and got into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words and had his way with her.
When they were finished and both still panting, the wife said, "Well my dear, you didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?" And turned on the light.
"Absolutely not!", said her son.
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...
A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...
he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.
Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and b**... functions.
The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I c**... like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"
My wife and I are really into light b**... play...
...even our favourite breakfast is s**... aches.
I had heart palpitations, sweating and aches on the day of my first Covid-19 Vaccine
But once I got in and actually had the jab I was fine!
Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree.
One turns to the other and says, "John, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age, how do you feel?"
John replies, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
"Really! Like a newborn baby, you say?"
"Yep. No hair, no teeth, I wear a diaper, and I even drool on myself."
My wife gives incredible head
aches...
those old boy bands get all the luck. My back aches all the time and I'm not even 40 yet. However, Backstreet's back...
alright.
You can explore aches injuries reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean aches aches and pains dad jokes. There are also aches puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The aches in my lats after yesterday's work out.
The trainer didn't mention any side effects.
