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Aches Jokes

8 aches jokes and hilarious aches puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about aches that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Aches Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What is a good aches joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

I told my wife I was gonna start smoking p**.... She said if I did she'd leave me. I guess it's true what they say...

m**... truly is an effective way to get rid of aches and pains.

What do you call 1000 aches?

A *kilohurtz*.

The Trap

A woman was sure that her husband was cheating on her by having an affair with the maid, so she laid down a trap.
One evening, she suddenly sent the maid home and didn't tell her husband.
That night when they went to bed, the husband gave the old story, "Please excuse me my dear, my stomach aches" and went to the bathroom.
The wife promptly went and got into the maid's bed. She switched the lights off. When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words and had his way with her.
When they were finished and both still panting, the wife said, "Well my dear, you didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?" And turned on the light.
"Absolutely not!", said her son.

Inner Peace

If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without alcohol,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual ...

A man suffers from Blepharospasm (constant, uncontrollable winking) in one eye...

he complains to a friend that it gives him the most awful head aches. His friend asks, why don't you just get some aspirin from the pharmacy. He replies, I do, but every time I ask the pharmacist for an aspirin he gives me a packet of condoms.

Three old men are talking about their aches, pains and b**... functions.

The 70 year old man says, "I have this problem. I wake up every morning at seven and it takes me twenty minutes to pee." The 80 year old man says, "My case is worse. I get up at eight and I sit there and grunt and groan for half an hour before I finally have a bowel movement." The 90 year old man says, "At seven I pee like a horse, and at eight I c**... like a cow." "So what's your problem?" ask the others. "I don't wake up until nine!"

My wife and I are really into light b**... play...

...even our favourite breakfast is s**... aches.

I had heart palpitations, sweating and aches on the day of my first Covid-19 Vaccine

But once I got in and actually had the jab I was fine!


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